Bandista

During my research phase I really benefited from seeing a therapist. I wanted some one to go through the process with me -- an objective third party -- and I knew I needed to sort out some issues. It's not as though I hadn't done a lot of work on myself already. I am 53 and have read so many books about food and eating issues and I had done some therapy here and there over the years. This was the first time, however, that I was able to admit to myself that I had a real problem. A problem big enough to require serious intervention. By choosing to pursue weight loss surgery I was facing issues head-on for the first time instead of making excuses and feeling betrayed. We looked at all of my behaviors and broke them down one by one. It was tedious and most times I just wanted to move ahead, but the therapist kept me at it and I discovered some interesting patterns that I needed to break. It was one thing for me to say, "I eat when I'm stressed" but another to take specific incidents and notice how/where/why/when I was going for food to address it. To tamp that stress down. I would use food to "prep" myself for something I didn't want to do. For whatever reason, I find conference calls very stressful so I discovered two things -- first grounding myself with something to eat prior to a call and then afterwards using food as a reward. That's just one example. Another is driving in the car and seeking out some kind of treat. Another was to eat very lightly at a party but then while cleaning up afterwards eating way too much. It turns out the stress of not wanting to be seen overeating and concealing my appetite was making me feel deprived and then I'd want to rectify that as soon as I got the chance. Now I really think about these situations that I am in regularly -- whatever they are. I am looking at the stress factors and assessing them, facing whatever it is and finding out that it's not really that big of a deal -- and of course the food wasn't helping anyway. Sorry this is a little disjointed, but maybe something will ring true for you, too. We are all so different but we're all the same in many ways. Sending best wishes your way!

@@Seymour1971 thanks for posting the Brené Brown link. I'd seen it before but took this opportunity to watch it again. So many powerful statements there. "I am enough." Here's to wholehearted living, and to being seen. Here's to embracing vulnerability.

@@briefs199 You will be looking back in the same way! It is AMAZING. Give yourself a year. Don't go by day-to-day weigh-ins or any of that -- it's the long view and really it's not long at all. A year goes by in a flash. And so, apparently, does 67 pounds.

@@yaya1397 @@Yadiordz Howdy there November 2013 Banders! We have similar stats, I believe -- it's been a marvelous year. Could I have lost more than 67 pounds? Well, maybe, but I am not in this for a lot of hard work. Those dieting days are over. I am looking forward to dropping another 20 and seeing where I am then. We are AMAZING!

We're all on our own, aren't we? No one can do it for us -- we have to take care of our bodies ourselves. Personally I try not to talk about my weight loss except for here on the forum as I don't think other people can really understand what it is to not be able to control eating or to be able to lose weight in any kind of a permanent way. That's why we elect weight loss surgery -- we need the assistance. Finally admitting this to myself was very powerful -- the choosing myself first and my healthy future was not a cop out -- it was a lifesaver and I am forever grateful. Pat yourself on the back for your great pre-surgery loss -- you're doing so well. It's a lifestyle change and you are showing up for your part. You are going to do beautifully!

I'm struggling with compliments these days. Yesterday I had an interesting reaction when some one said, "you're disappearing." No, actually, I'm appearing. I'm showing up. When I was larger I was taking up so little space but now that I'm smaller and healthier I am spreading my wings out -- allowing myself to be "bigger" than I was before. The worthiness factor. The feeling welcome. Celebrated. Feeling like I deserve to be here. Yikes. It is, indeed, a lot to ponder.

That dreaded left shoulder pain -- I recall it was day four or five for me when that hit. A heating pad seemed to help and what you're doing right now -- walking -- is the very best. Hope you have a good turnaround day -- sending best wishes your way! The good news is this will soon be so far in the rear view mirror you won't really be able to recall it and you'll be well into this brand new chapter in your life.

Hey there, congratulations! I was a bit nervous, too, and it was all so much easier than I thought it would be. I walked like crazy and that threw my body into healing mode. When I had to pee (or thought I did), I'd grab the IV pole and go up and down the hallway. By the time I was ready to check out the next day, I was doing laps with that thing. It felt so good to shake off the anesthesia that way. At home I walked round and round our driving circle. I filled a pain med prescription but didn't need any -- don't like the side effects -- but even still I found I had to address constipation around day four or so. I was surprised my doctor didn't address that ahead of time as of course that can be uncomfortable. Let's see, what else. I really enjoyed my Popsicles those first few days. And cups of tea. Take good care of yourself, don't overdo lifting or anything like that and pat yourself on the back for making the decision for a healthy future. Way to go.

Way to go reaching out and staying on top of this process, which is absurd. Don't give up! You deserve all good things. You deserve good physical and mental health. I believe the two of those are directly related. I am very happy to have lost weight but like others it is the being out of food jail that has been such an amazing thing. Not having that appetite monster on my back and the constant chatter....feed me, feed me. It's such a release, and a relief. I hope you can persevere and WIN this. Sending best wishes your way!

Getting ready for surgery I figured scrambled eggs, an old favorite, would be a staple in my new diet. Turns out they don't really agree with me but a fried egg is perfect. Go figure. I would have thought the fried would be too rubbery. And like others, I'm so glad not to be on a diet, not watching what I eat but rather listening to my body and giving it what it asks for. Often, it's a fried egg. Protein!

So happy for you....and of course January will be here before you know it. Way to go choosing yourself and your healthy future first.

Wonderful -- so happy for you. Hip, hip, hurray!

Interesting article -- and to think that a couple of years ago I had no idea what the Vagus Nerve is all about! http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/10/26/the-brain-gut-connection-for-mental-well-being/

I remember being worried about whether I'd be able to eat out after getting a Lapband. Not only is it easy, but I'm now an incredibly cheap date. Today my husband and I went to an Asian place, which for me is one of the more challenging venues. These days I don't eat rice, and I am picky about MSG and that sort of thing. So no sushi for me (not a huge loss -- if I really wanted it I'd have sashimi, which for me is really an excuse for Wasabi), and no Chinese dishes with pre-made sauces. They just hold no appeal for me now. I've discovered the best thing for me in an Asian restaurant is a Bento Box. I order the salmon, which I love, and I ask for it with no sauce. So it's a lovely piece of salmon in the perfect small portion size. Also in the box is rice, veggies, a few shu-mai dumplings and some sushi -- all that goes to my dining partner or comes home in a take-out box. I have my Miso Soup and then pick at the salmon with chopsticks. Chopsticks are a wonderful tool for slowing down. I tend to put them up to my lips empty between bites as part of my training to not be a shoveler. I had no idea how fast I was eating until I had to learn not to do that anymore. While packing up the left-overs I am absolutely amazed that I have found satiety (or it has found me) after so little food. But there it is -- good clean Protein and that was completely satisfying. Also I notice that now when I eat I am so entirely present. We sat outside today -- a crisp New England day and we were bundled up in fuzzy jackets. We know it won't be long before the jig is up on all things outdoors so we're taking advantage of every moment we can sit in the sun. It was such a pleasure to just look around and be. I think before I was always thinking about the food. There's so much more to dining now. I love noticing everything around me -- and noticing what a delicate eater I am now and how good that feels. Happy Tuesday every one!

Way to go! SO happy for you........

I love salmon; that works well for me. Chili -- there are so many different kinds. I find that if I sauté ground beef or turkey with the garlic and spices, etc., then add in broth or stock and simmer for a while, that process breaks down and softens the meat. Plus I buy grass fed now; what a difference in flavor. I cook chicken thighs in a variety of ways. I also use stock for them -- that method of cooking makes everything saucy and delicious without adding a lot of calories. Brown the thighs on both sides, add veggies, cover with stock. Yum. Try adding in whatever you like best. Trader Joe's makes a green sauce we love. You can add prunes, olives and lemons to make Chicken Marabella. You can do coconut milk and Thai spices, or cinnamon chicken. Chicken with mustard is amazing. Peanut sauce. BBQ, etc. You get the idea....... Let's see, what else. I'd say Greek yogurt is pretty much a staple in our household. Yogurt is a slider for me so I have to chunk it up to give myself something to chew on (which is what activates the brain to give the signal for satiety). So in a Greek yogurt cup I add in chia seeds, a little gluten-free granola, maybe some walnut pieces, etc. -- whatever I fancy. Sometimes it's sunflower seeds. I love my yogurt and have that for "brunch" quite often. I don't eat Breakfast as I'm not hungry and unless I'm going out for lunch or something I just grab my yogurt treat and enjoy that. Good luck finding what works well for you -- I'm sure you'll get a lot of suggestions here!

@@RedStorm wow, you're doimg beautifully -- congratulations!

Congratulations everyone on your upcoming surgeries. I was November 2013 and it's been an amazing year. The weight loss is great but what I didn't expect was the relief at being released from obsessing about food.

Months ago some one posted "What Things Weigh" and on the list was the weight of a cinder block: 33 pounds. For some reason I latched on to that as a goal. I know how heavy a cinder block is because I have to move them around from time to time. We have a small farmstead and I despise those cinder blocks that are out behind our garden shed. Well now, as of today, I am down two of those babies (plus one pound). Sixty-seven pounds down!! Honestly I cannot even imagine carrying around two cinder blocks all day every day and yet that's what I have done for years. That and more. No wonder I feel so good -- I'm free of those anchors. Along with shedding weight, I am also still letting go of my old dieting mentality. I was an epic dieter -- on or off a diet for twenty years plus -- and so I still sometimes think in terms of being "good" or "bad." Yesterday might have been what I would have called a bad day. We ate out and I had a lot of guacamole, a few chips, a little chili, but kind of a lot of guacamole. And a cocktail! That was lunchtime. Then we went to a friend's house for a little dinner party and there were cheese and crackers. Yummy blue cheese. I had a loaded cracker and then another bite of cheese at some point, and wine was flowing. A Soup and salad for dinner; I didn't have bread. Then dessert! I even had a little bit of ice cream. This is very unlike me. BAD GIRL, right? Well, there is no good girl/bad girl anymore. There's just me and my band. I have been stuck at 187 for ages and this morning I jumped on the scale hoping, hoping, hoping yesterday hadn't taken me back over the top and into the nineties again (yikes). Nope, down two pounds to 185. This is the way it has gone for me the whole time. I think I'm not getting anywhere and then when I least expect it, there goes the scale down, down, down. Yes, I want to put down one more cinder block -- I'd like to lose another thirty-three pounds. I'm not sure what my body's ideal weight will be and whether that is even the right goal, but I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and let it take the time it takes. What do I do? I eat when I'm hungry and I don't eat when I'm not hungry. I'm keeping it as simple as possible, having overcomplicated everything to do with food and eating for such a long time. Best wishes to all, wherever you are on your journey. The day-by-day can seem like a bit of a slog sometimes (especially when the scale isn't moving like a speedometer), but over the course of a year? WOW!

If you're relying on sliders, might it be that you are too tight? Maybe stop and breathe and really, really listen in to your body to see what it's telling you. I hope you can find the doctor you deserve -- best wishes and keep us posted on your progress. You are here on the forum and you're seeking help from the medical community -- those are two signs that your head is really in the right place and you're ready to put the band to work for you.

Call the doctor! This is not okay. It's still afternoon so hopefully you can reach some one in person. There could be many reasons for what you're going through but your medical professionals need to see you to make a diagnosis. Best wishes -- let us know how you're doing! But call. Call the doctor.

@@readysetg070113 still here on #6! Sorry about the anxiety and insomnia -- I know that world. These days I try not to worry about what I'll be like the next day as I'm discovering I don't need as much sleep as I thought (or maybe a heavier person requires more sleep? or perhaps it's just the getting older?). Sometimes that actually releases me from worry and I'm able to fall asleep again. Other times I know it's not going to happen and I get up and put in work time. So glad to have this forum.

I know what you mean -- no more drawer of "fat" jeans just in case. NOT NOT NOT going back there, that's for sure! It's kind of hard to believe what's happening, this kind of transformation. My closet is pretty empty these days. I am enjoying shopping, though, which is a whole new feeling. I used to dread trying to find something in a store. Now to be a little more stable in what size I am so I can get a few nice things for winter. I did buy a dress which I haven't worn yet. A DRESS! Have fun......

Sounds to me like you're doing the right thing with all liquids -- maybe last night's stuck episode requires some time to heal up? Best wishes!

Hey there, hope you're feeling that return to self soon -- for me I think it was also about day five. I was also very constipated and had to address that. Was much better after. Even though I didn't do pain medication (which can really affect the mood) the anesthesia threw me for a bit of a loop. Walking really helped. I walked and walked and found that very grounding. Congratulations on the surgery and all that is ahead!