Bandista

What a fantastic thread! I am taking out a pen and writing "worthy" on my hand right now. It's a hard thing for me to remember. Worthy and deserving of all good things. I used to write "willing" on my hand from time to time, because I was willing to do whatever it took to heal. Well, for me apparently it took surgery because now I feel like I am truly healing. I never felt like I belonged or that I was welcome. This may have to do with being adopted. When my parents got me there was an intention that finally having a baby would make my mother happy, that all of her problems had to do with her inability to carry a baby to term. Well, I didn't deliver. I was carried in shame by some one who could not deal with having an out of wedlock baby and given to some one who was not able to deal with the real sources of unhappiness in her life. I think that gets into our cells somehow. Meanwhile I am so fortunate to be truly loved. Adored even. But I had trouble accepting it, feeling it, because I could not truly adore myself. Now I'm getting glimpses of that. I sort of look at myself as a character in a book and admire some attribute -- then there is this feeling of, "oh, don't get carried away with yourself." Dammit, I'm ready to be carried away. I'm ready to really get it that I am one wonderful human being. I matter. And I'm welcome.

@nickybad Hi there, thank you so much and congratulations on your surgery! Love your blue tree (if that is you; the pictures have been getting a little mixed up on the forum lately -- I know they are working on that). I can't wait 'til you're a year out, either, because I know you will be successful. A long term bander here (Carolina Girl) talks about "want power." You want it and you're gonna get it. I honestly have not even worked very hard, but I've shown up for myself every single day as a human being desiring a healthy future. With the band's help, that's all it has taken to get this far and now I look forward to the next year in which I hope to lose some more fat and gain some more muscle. It all feels so possible now. Sending best wishes your way! @@gowalking Oh, Liz, you are one of my great heroes here and I am proud to be called your friend. Thank you! Look forward to our in-person meeting, whenever that happens. @enjoythetime Thank you so much! You are amazing and I've missed your posts -- but here you are -- so happy for your success. You have helped me SO much in this last year, as well as the months preceding my surgery. And I love, love, love your name -- that's what it's all about, isn't it? Enjoying the time. Life is short and I want to be healthy and happy for it.

Hi Meggs, way to go -- you are on your way! My surgery last November changed my life and I am so happy. And as you say, the time really did fly by. So glad you're here on the forum. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

@flmommyof2 That's what I love about this forum -- I can come here for support from people who really understand the issues and are compassionate, non-judgmental. food is such a hot button for all of us -- overweight or not -- and people can really be idiots sometimes. We have chosen ourselves and our healthy futures -- that's what's important.

My surgeon has me lie down with my arms over my head and I don't sit up again until after the fill. There is a specific amount in the needle and that's what he puts in. I am some one who required several fills to get to the green zone. As I lost weight I'd have to go back for another tiny fill. Haven't done that in a while and think I don't need to yet, but it's always in the back of my mind that I may require another fill here and there over time. At one point I got a little taken out. It's a moving target.

Short skirt and a long jacket.....yes! And tights; loving wearing tights this fall. Oh, here's one that I'm still not sure is real. The other day I did not want to get off the treadmill. What?! Who is this person? I never thought I'd get the "high" of exercise or even be able to approach it without dread. And now I am a real exerciser. Hardly seems possible. Yippee!

Congratulations all......I'm so happy to have found myself again.

Isn't it marvelous?! You look so happy and beautiful. Way to go reclaiming your life and here's to a very happy, healthy future! We have similar stats (I was in that 250 range) and I look forward to seeing the seventies next. Yippee!

I kept wondering if my excitement would diminish over time -- one year out and I am still so happy. Your enthusiasm is the secret to your success. Twenty down, way to go!

I hear you, Country Sweet. My favorite peeps are the ones who took forever to notice I was dropping weight because they were busy talking with me about what I am thinking and doing rather than how I looked. Now at 67 pounds down every one is noticing and it feels a bit awkward. Same person here, folks. As humans we all need respect and to have our dignity preserved. I try to do that with the people around me who I know are not feeling it themselves. It can be as simple as a nod in a coffee shop.

Matt, congratulations on getting through the hoops -- exciting! I love my band and am so happy with my weight loss. I was only 250 going in to the process but there are lots of people who have lost hundreds with their bands. Check out the thread Banders #6 -- it's a great place for support from people who have had a lot of success. I wish I was tech-savy enough to connect you here with some great guys who have done so well. That's what I did when I was researching -- found the people who are really successful and read their posts. Jim1967, B52, Carolina Girl -- like I said, check out that Banders thread. And that way you can avoid any nay-sayers. Don't need that kind of pre-surgery crap!

I think it's all about the chewing and swallowing -- that connection between the esophagus and brain, which then provides a signal for satiety. I did not have that before my band. For me it has nothing to do with eating to some kind of capacity. The band won't let me overdo it but that isn't the point -- I don't get to that place as I don't want it. I feel hunger and welcome it now, but when I've had enough I've had enough. Like others, I find I get bored with the food, playing with it or just not interested anymore. That tells me that I'm done. If I'm still hungry, however, I don't deprive myself. To me this is key -- not to be too restrictive with myself so that I have a bounce-back to that all or nothing kind of thinking, or good/bad. I do still love food -- I enjoy choosing it, preparing it, serving it and, mostly, eating it. But I'm much less interested in the latter than I am in the whole experience of dining. I like the bites of yummy food but it's such a pleasure to be available for all the other experiences around me rather than being hyper-focused on what's next, what can I have, is there more, etc.

I am uncomfortable with people noticing me -- working on that. I have a friend who says, "Hey, Skinny!" and I know it's meant as an acknowledgement of my hard work and a compliment. Basically I don't want attention drawn to my body. After trying to hide my weight for so many years it's an issue for me -- eyes up here, please! I don't like the idea that people are watching my belly disappear and my legs getting so long and shapely, etc. Eeek! Like I said, working on this.

Five as well but have heard of trend for fewer......they healed quickly but first week I looked like I was in a knife fight. Nice to have the fork to mouth fight over, however -- Winning the great battle of the appetite is a beautiful thing!

@@Seymour1971 lucky, lucky........ you are doing beautifully!

Another page from my past -- I am not kidding, we must have similar chemistry or something. Protein bar in the grocery store, yep, that was me about a year ago. Take full advantage of your year of fills. I was told 11 appoimtments in the first year so why not think of that as an industry standard. If you go in and do not need a fill, it's no skin off their back. The discussion is helpful. Also they are invested in your successl Keep those appointments! Don't get a fill if you don't need one, obviously, but be sure to keep in close contact this first year. Team You!

You look wonderful! Happy happy Bandaversary to you...... So happy we have been through this year together. It's been fantastic.

Sounds like you are doing beautifully! Congratulations on all. The 27 lbs. gone, the BP meds lowered, the guy -- all of it is so great. Way to go.

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery! Protein bars? I'm so jealous, lol. I had nothing to nibble on during my pre-op, just shakes, shakes, shakes. It was great to have that weight loss prior to the surgery as I knew for the first time every pound lost was one I'd never ever see again. Good luck to you -- you are getting there!

Hi there, this is definitely a hard time. Bandster Hell is aptly named. Here's your encouragement: You are amazing. You are courageous and determined. That's why you chose weight loss surgery. You want to change your life. You are electing a happy healthy future and you will have that. You are going to be out of food jail once that appetite is dimmed but there is a little bit of a process for all of that to begin. You are on the verge of all that is ahead. I just posted on another thread about how seeing a therapist helped me break down my behaviors in a very specific way. Taking it all way farther than ever before in terms of just exactly how I was responding with food helped me learn how to notice what I'm doing and tell myself, "I don't do that anymore." Having the right fill means I don't even want to. All of that lies ahead -- the not feeling deprived is a marvelous thing and you will get there!

I was surprised that my surgeon's office did not address this ahead of time. Even though I didn't take pain medication, I still had severe constipation and I had to address it on day four or so. I took Milk of Magnesia. Love the prune juice idea but did not think of that at the time. Even though I was on a two week plus all-liquid diet, I still had some major bowel action. Important to take care of this -- I'd call it in to see if they have any input, if only to let them know that this is something their patients need to know about. Best wishes to you!

Hi there, I am only a year out but I've read lots of posts from others who have had similar situations. You are on this. You are finding a good medical professional in your new region and you're here on the forum looking for support. You will succeed as you did before -- please keep us posted on how you're doing. Getting that appetite dimmed is key. Meanwhile no sliders. Sending best wishes your way!

You will get a lot of responses on a thread like this. Just know that the really important thing is that you are addressing your health issues. You're choosing yourself and your healthy future first. That is the main thing. When we make our choices for what kind of weight loss surgery we think is right for us, it has to be based on lots and lots of individual research and excellent communication with your medical professionals. I love my band and it was the right choice for me but I respect and admire other people's choices, too. I'm just putting this out there because sometimes these posts end up attracting a lot of fear-based commentary and I don't want that to happen to you. Best wishes, and keep us posted!

I know about the neurotic part. At one point I needed a tiny unfill and afterwards I obsessed over whether the surgeon may have given me another fill instead of taking some out. One thing I can say is that it usually takes me several days for me to feel it. For me the fill has to settle in and that take four days or so. My doctor has no post-fill protocol and I also obsessed over that. Other people were reporting being on all liquids, etc. and I always felt kind of hungry. But it has all worked out fine so now I can "believe" in it all and not worry so much about everything.

Oh my god, this is like a page out of my journal from last year. After I was banded my appetite was miraculously dimmed and I was pretty sure I would be one of those people who never needed a fill. When I told the surgeon this, he laughed. Seriously -- he looked at me and laughed. That was at our one week and two week post-op appointments. By the time I got to the four week appointment I was so hungry and so ready for a fill. I got another at the five week appointment, then another at the sixth. It took me a little while. He was going for a tennis-ball sized portion of food and not hungry again for 4-5 hours. I'd have the portion part but not the duration. Sometimes I'd feel it but then feel like I slipped back out of the zone. I'm glad I kept at it. Now, there are some people who never require a fill although those are mostly band plus plication people. But I was some one who definitely needed fills. Good luck to you. You are doing great -- just know it's a process. You're in the process, learning all the time. Listening to your body and paying attention is the important thing and that takes a lot of practice.