chasingadream

Right now...my goal is to find peace....peace with myself and the decisions I make. I had WLS to lose weight, to feel better and so far it is working. The 82 lbs off my 5'4" frame feels amazing and I look in the mirror in awe most days...as a dieter since the age of 16 who knew I could begin to achieve the elusive idea of losing weight AND keeping it off AND not being miserable, dieting or denied. But I'm now at a point where I beat myself up over every decision I basically make. The biggest one of course is my WLS....happiest decision I ever made and then the fear creeps in...how long will it last? what's happening inside of me? was this, IN FACT, the best long-term decision? Then there is the issue of food choices. I did not get to be 280 lbs by not knowing I have "issues" with food...and now at 5 1/2 months post surgery some of the old habits and urges and feelings about food are creeping back....should I get a fill (haven't had one yet)....will that help--I dont believe so...and I dont want to ruin what is working right now. I find myself feeling down on myself, feeling sad at times, and mostly angry at myself...am I sabotaging myself ONCE again???? If I eat too much I panic did I stretch my pouch, did I do this or that.... I am an educated woman. I did my research and I went into WLS fully understanding the choices I made...but sometimes the worrisome thoughts take over the reasoning part of my brain.... So as I stop my ranting about my bit of craziness ....i hope for true inner peace and WAY less worrying in my life. Thank you Jean, for helping me take a good long look at what I truly want and how I am going to get myself there....because I WILL!!!

You look amazing...great job...keep it up...can't wait to see the face that goes with the toned body!

You are a success and you've made your band work for you...one day at a time...one pound at a time! As you said --it was hard but you see better days ahead of you now because of your tremendous efforts and accomplishments! I am glad that I have gotten to know you more and that I was able to meet you in person and truly see how wonderful you look and what a great person you are...you are an inspiration!

I had the plication with the lap band back in September and have done well with it so far. I have not had a fill as of yet and some say it is due to the added plication. I was lucky and did not experience "bandster hell" as many experience until their band is filled to a good level, also some say due to the plication. But even with plication it is different. I know a terrific gal who also had the same surgery as myself but experienced "bandster hell" hunger from the very beginning and has had several fills and is now feeling as though she is in the green zone ...so it is a very different experience for many. So far so good...one day at a time is my motto these days!!

I agree Cheryl....well said and SO true....its been an interesting 5 months for me but SOOOO worth it. And I feel proud to have only 4 pairs of terrific size 16 pants in my closet to wear because I threw out every size larger than that because I will never EVER go back to those sizes (18-24) again. And I do not want to have too many 16's because my size will go down some more.!!! And it IS hard work....and I WANT it....and I WILL have it from here on out!!!!

You did a GREAT job Liz planning our very first NYC get together and it was fun! Alex, I am also interested and would also be more than willing to help out in any way that I can...great idea!

AMAZING job...AMAZING you! Congrats on a terrific weight loss and more importantly for feeling so GREAT about yourself now! Keep up the great job!

Amazing story...what a great job!

Congrats on the first week of success. My suggestion...take it one day at a time...remember the rules and your mechanics and don't fear solids. For me...I've feared food my entire life....to the point that I let it rule me...NO MORE I am happy to report. Of course, many have and do lose weight moving to the solid phase. I know weight loss is the ultimate goal...it definately was for me...but over the past 5 months that has shifted some....I feel better physically and mentally....my clothing fits better and I'm moving into smaller and smaller sizes and its easier to move around. For me, that is even more important than seeing the scale move down. Losing weight happens in many more ways than just the number on the scale getting lower. Try not to compare yourself to others...there are SO many....maybe even TOO many factors to take into account in ones life and body to make any kind of comparison....and sometimes it only sets you up for failure and makes you feel bad about yourself (it did for me)... So, yes , I am happy to see other peoples tickers to see what great successes they have had but I have stopped comparing it to mine....and I am much happier in this lap band journey we are on. Wishing you all the best....keep your eye on the prize!!!!!

Like everyone else said...it is TOUGH...no lie! But as each day passes you are more and more and more successful and it only sets you up for future success. I always remembered why I chose this route when I was on the 2 week liquid pre-op AND the 2 week liquid post op...UGH....but 5 months later I can honestly say I barely remember it....I wouldnt want to ever do it again but I dont remember it. Now I look forward to wearing smaller sizes and enjoying all the foods I loved before but in way smaller portions. I dont deny myself of anything but I definately make better food choices. I love that I am no longer ruled by food! So hang in there and YOU WILL DO IT....your surgery date is almost here....so close...good luck and keep us posted!

Congratulations on the beginning of a wonderful journey! And extra congrats on the super supportive husband! Mine is awesome too, although he didnt even think about joining me on the 2 week pre-op AND 2 week post-op I had to do..LOL..but he is so supportive and helpful! It is nice to have that extra support at home. And you will find some awesome people here to support you also! It is tough, especially in the beginning, but just hang in there and remember why you chose to go this route in the first place. You WILL get through....just take one day at a time! Best of luck and keep us updated!

Had to cave in and buy new bras today.....46D to 42C Didnt even care the lady had to see me half naked to make sure they fit....had a nice conversation with her about my weight loss then she tell me she had bypass a while back and lost a ton of weight so I tell her I had the band. It was just a nice experience!

Congrats on your surgery.....sounds like you are doing great already!! Each day gets better with the recovery! Take one day at a time and keep us posted on how you are doing!

He's so cute! Have fun with him....those long legs will keep the pace moving!

Excellent article...I am 5 months post-op and I went through pretty much all of the beginning phases. Always remembering to take one day at a time, remembering that is a journey with a lengthy process and that giving up is NEVER an option!

NIce job on the meds being cut back! That is wonderful! Love the bike too! It is so nice here in NY today....a little preview of Spring I think! Was nice to go out and just take a stroll... have fun riding the bike! Keep up the amazing work!

I must admit, I LOVE when it growls these days...lol. For me, I was a constant food grazer pre-banding so I never really heard it before or ever let it get to that point...so I like to hear it....it reminds me of my choice to have WLS and reminds me that I will not wither away or perish from malnutrition if it growls for a few minutes....lol I try not to eat after dinner but at night it makes all of the weird noises that sounds like gurgling and growling but I'm not hungry. Im getting used to it and my hubby just looks at me and laughs now as we try to figure out if it his stomach or mine making the alien noises!

My doc/nutritionist said between 60-80....i usually get in around 65-70 daily. I do not drink any shakes...all solids for me!

Hang in there...I had "buyers remorse" too in the beginning and wondered and cried often about what had a I done to myself. It does pass if that is any comfort. Can you reach out to your doctors office for added supported...a nutritionist or the psychologist....just to get you through this phase....any WLS is a shock to your system and there is definitely an adjustment period. Wishing you much success! Feel better!

I like the Pure Protein bars....20 grams of protein 190 calories

Sorry my refrigeration ideas just went out the window...lol...but good to know also maybe you can just do some Snacks....almonds that are already portioned....high Protein Cereal in baggies (without the milk)...i like the tuna in the pouch idea and since i cant eat mine dry I would be finding some individual fast food packets of mayo...lol... Most of all...have fun and enjoy the company!

Wonderful post....beautifully written and obviously straight from your heart! Congrats on all of your successes!