chasingadream

It's been a long time coming...

Being morbidly obese plain ole' SUCKS!
I've been this way my whole life....first diet I can remember is in junior high going to WW in my field hockey uniform.
After 30 years of trying and failing at WW, going for hypnosis, attempting Think Thin and Medifast and still nothing.

I swore I would NEVER do WLS....NEVER--plain old fear and seeing so many people work their way around it!

Then I heard Gov. Christie on TV....it wasn't that he did it...it was more what I heard him say when he answered a reporter. Basically, he said, "What I'm doing is no one's business...I'm doing it for my health, for my wife and my kids". Something in that just resonated with me and the next day I was researching and got a referral from m PCP....A week later, my husband and I were at my surgeon's office getting informed and asking questions.

Then the additional procedure of plication was brought up and I honestly left a bit more confused than I began. But that's okay...It made me search harder, read more, and ask tons more questions.

The thought of WLS (or any surgery) makes me break out in a cold sweat...I've had plenty of surgeries in my life but those were all before my kids. Two little bright eyed balls of energy! They are what I'm doing this for...my hubby too...and most of all, for ME! I want to run with my kids and participate in their sports. I want to keep up with them instead of constantly feeling the need to sit on the bleachers or worse, on the couch all the time. They deserve SO much more....AND SO DO I!!!!!

So, after countless conversations with my hubby and spending time researching and on this great forum ( and many tears and panic too) I've decided to have the LapBand WITH plication.

The journey has been interesting so far...so many tests and hoops to jump through to satisfy the insurance company. But I will honor their requests if it means they will approve this most important decision I've made. I'm nearly done as of today, 3 more appts. then my chart gets reviewed, I get a surgery date and it is submitted to insurance for approval.

I've complained that it is taking FOREVER on several posts and now that I am close to receiving a date a bit of panic sets in.
I've scoured this forum and have found such inspirational and moving stories and have chosen to follow those that support and help and try to shy away from the "negative nellies" and naysayers!

I've chosen to tell only 3 people (my hubby of course, my best friend, and my closest adult nephew). I dont want the pressure of people watching, talking behind my back, having expectations that are not aligned to mine...basically, I dont want the judgement of anyone in any way, shape or form. I will possibly increase this support group as I move forward in this process but that will be my choice and at my discretion.

I think that is one of the things I'm feeling best about. This WHOLE decision has been MY choice and at MY descretion (with hubby's support of course). I am feeling good about my decision (at this moment-LOL) and will continue to work towards a more healthy life for me, my kids and my husband.

This is a brand new day and each one from this point on will bring me to my goal of losing weight and being healthy.
I've been blessed with a great life...I NEVER forget that...EVER... but I have it in MY control to make it even better...and that is the decision I have made.

So, with that, I weight (wait) for the day to be banded...to begin the journey of hard work, truth, and dedication to no one but myself!!