Welcome back! Are you ready for your weekly beefy brief from your pudgy pundit? Ready or not, here comes another rant for the rotund.
Let's start with a recap of the just past 4th of July holiday weekend. I will say it was a definite challenge! The old Johnny would have gained at least 5 pounds by feasting on ribs, burgers, fatty salads and sugary desserts during this fat-a-topia. I would have also had my Jimmy Buffet margarita maker working overtime rendering the frozen concoction that helps me hang on. Sunny summer holidays are the perfect excuse for gluttony of both food and drink. The good news is the New and Improved Johnny made it safely through this fat fest and actually lost 1-1/2 pounds. Whew!
Let's get on with the NSV's. While a weekly weight loss is the ultimate goal, there are also other rotund rewards along the journey that are a by product of the weight loss. We call 'em Non Scale Victories. Hence the NSV. This comes from the fat ass secret code book. (Don't tell anyone I let you in on it.)
I have had a few NSV's since I started my juggily journey. Mostly of the clothes variety. If we flashback to the day I got off the plane from Florida in early April, we will recall I was about 1 biscuit away from invoking my Level 3 emergency clothes protocol. That would have meant wearing only sweat pants and a moo moo. In other words, I was out of any wardrobe that I could wear out in public. Mercifully, I started my own pre-op - pre-op diet. My doctor wanted me to wait, but I didn't have an option. It worked. I was safely in my Level 2 fat wardrobe in a couple of weeks. I could work with this limited collection, so emergency averted. NSV number 1.
In a couple more weeks, I found that my normal wardrobe (Level 1) was beginning to fit again. I was no longer gasping for air while wearing a tie and the threat of a sudden injury caused by a flying button from my pants had receded. I also found my golf shorts and casual shirts were no longer making me look like a stuffed sausage. I could feel the difference. NSV number 2.
Then around the end of May, people started noticing that my fleshy face was starting to look smaller. I had a couple flabby friends ask me what me secret was. This made me take a good look at myself in the mirror. Wow! I could see the difference. I guess I was in a kind of fat fog and didn't pay attention. My body was changing. The good way this time. Another NSV.
But I now I'm dealing with a couple unexpected consequences. Firstly, my golf swing has gone to hell. After 30 years of playing this stupid game, it's like I never swung a club before. My new, smaller body has really messed up my timing. Secondly, after 3 months of dieting and a loss of 38.5 pounds, my spiffy Level 1 wardrobe is starting to look huge on me. Seriously, I'm dressing up in my best stuff and it looks like I shop at Hobo Junction. People that don't know me are probably thinking my clothes are donated and I'm homeless. But I'm not complaining! These are GOOD problems.
I knew the time for an intermediate wardrobe was coming. It kinda snuck up on me. I think I have another couple weeks at most with Level 1. Then it's on to the Marshall's and Steinmarts. I just need some cheap clothes to get me through to my final landing weight. Then I'll start the real restocking.
So if you see a svelter looking guy in over sized clothing walking around, don't feel bad for him. It's either me or dieting hobo.
Talk soon!
Johnny
reprinted from my blog: TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com
