srussell8

Good for you! I'm glad you have not succumbed to the fear. I have followed the thread you are talking about and I find it absolutely absurd! If I watched enough grisly footage of car or plane crashes, I'd never get on another plane or drive anywhere again. Yes - there are risks. And if you are one of the ones who happen to be on that particular airplane, then it's no longer a remote risk - it's very real and very life changing. I suppose if I were in a plane crash and had my legs amputated, I might very well try to discouraged anyone I meet from ever getting on an airplane. I might even consider it my mission in life to save unsuspecting people from airplanes. But the number of people who die in plane crashes are massively outnumbered by the many people who get safely to their destination. Some get there safely but with a lot of hassles, others travel hassle free. I've had a very safe and hassle free trip with my band. Others have hassles and still others have not been safe. But I still get on planes when I want to and I would still choose to live with my lapband. Choose a reputable airline (clinic) and know your pilot (surgeon). No matter what your journey is like, you are already successful if you have learned to believe in yourself again. You recognize that this is not a magic cure - you will still ultimately be responsible for the outcome. By choosing to go forward with the surgery, you are accepting that responsibility and can trust yourself to do what is necessary to be successful. You've already demonstrated that by your willingness to ask questions and keep asking until you get those questions answered. Not only can you do this, you already are doing this!!! :-) Shelly

You and other newbies are one of the main reasons I participate here. I've had my band for 7 years and for a long time took it for granted. When I read posts by people like you who have just made the decision or someone who just got their band, I am reminded of just how badly I wanted this and how excited I was. I need to maintain that motivation level, so you are helping me. It also helps me to read those really bitter, angry posts by folks who did not get the results they wanted. I am reminded by them that I have to do my part and this is not a magic wand to turn me into a Barbie doll. And I have to follow the rules, respect the band and take care of it. It can be damaged and that damage can have serious consequences. So, as I Celebrate my success and the success of others, I get a little dose of excitement, caution, and motivation, as well. Welcome! Learn as much as you can so you can find the success you have sought all your life! Shelly

I get on here and rant or whine alot, so I thought I'd switch it up a bit today. I'm having a great day! My weekend SUCKED!!! I work full time but also teach graduate psychology online part time. Usually, it's pretty manageable, but for the past 3 weeks, the terms overlapped. So instead of having my usual 3 manageable classes, I've had 6! I've been dying! Final grades for the first 3 classes were due yesterday, so I had a weekend marathon of grading papers all weekend. Literally! I sat in my chair, on my computer all day Saturday with 2 breaks for walks, and all day Sunday with no breaks. Sunday was from 10 a.m. to 3 a.m. Yes - A.M. Gave up then and went to bed. Of course, that meant no work-out yesterday morning and I still had to finish up the last of the grades yesterday. My butt was dragging!!! However - I was in bed - dead asleep - by 8:00 last night and got up for my regular workout this morning. It's amazing what sleep and exercise do for a body!! My husband had to go to work early this morning and the kids are still with the grandparents until this weekend, so when I got home from working out, I had the house to myself. So I went shopping in the back of my closet, where all the clothes I love but can't wear anymore are exiled. I am proud to announce that I am wearing a dress I haven't been able to wear in over a year! And can I just say - I'm not just wearing it, I'm rockin' it! Several of the others are close, too. I could probably wear them with a shaper underneath, but I'm going to wait until I can wear them without one. I was dying to step on the scale this morning, but I was afraid I'd kill my buzz and/or start with the self-sabotage. Other bonuses today: Got my cracked windshield replaced for $40 thanks to a Groupon Went and got my nails done over lunch to go with my new-old dress The weather here is absolutely gorgeous today (76 degrees and sunny) Get to leave work early to go to a pointless (but painless) meeting in another clinic, after which I will probably go home early The MLB All-Star game is tonight, which means that no matter who wins, my husband won't pout :-) (It ain't easy to be married to a KC Royals fan!!!) There you have it - a genuinely good day! Shelly

One of the reasons it's so confusing is that every doctor has a little different take on things. The one hard and fast rule I was told when I started was 60 grams of protein a day. Fall below that and you risk health problems and (for me) hair loss. The calorie thing is what varies the most, I think. One reason is because it's different based on whether you are pre-op, post-op or well into your journey and past the post-op healing stage. My surgery was 7 years ago, so it's not real fresh for me. But I remember my doctor telling me to shoot for 600-800 calories a day. Now, I am trying to keep it at 700 net calories per day (intake minus exercise), which usually amounts to taking in 1000-1200 calories per day, depending on how much exercise I do. The best thing that ever happened to me was My Fitness Pal. It's an app that helps track calories and exericse. Because it's on my phone, I can quickly and easily keep up with what goes in my mouth right then, rather than trying to remember later. Plus, it has a very large database of foods already in it so I don't have to try to figure it out. It does all the math and tracks protein, sodium, fat, cholesterol, etc all at the same time. Like I said, I've had my band for 7 years and I have never in my life - before the band or after - met with a nutritionist. I didn't realize that was kind of weird until I joined this site and everyone was talking about meeting regularly with their nutritionist. Hopefully your doctor will have you see someone for that, so they can give you concrete guidelines to make life easier, rather than trying to figure it out on your own. If it's not offered or required, ask for it! I wish I had! Shelly

The good news? You caught it!!! That's the beauty of the band - it's still there and it works when you get yourself back on track. My story is identical to yours! A few different circumstances, but to make it short: pres-surgery weight 306 - 7 years ago. Got down to 165. Quit paying attention and quit having regular doctor appointments = 60 pound weight gain. When I went back to the doctor I weighed in at 220 and was devastated. ' Then I remembered how excited I was to be at 220 at one point. And I also realized that if I don't get right back up, I'll end up easily back where I started before surgery and then some. SO - I got a fill in May and have started having monthly appointments with the doctor for accountability. I'm following the most important rules for me: ABSOLUTELY no drink with food Lean Protein first (yeah, but if I do that, I can't eat as much... EXACTLY!) Log every calorie on MyFitnessPal and stop ignoring what/how much I am consuming (It's soooo much easier to not know!) Exercise daily (UGGGHHH!!!) I was so defeated and depressed when I started back. I felt like such a failure! I have fought my weight all my life and I thought that I had conquered the problem. Nope - I will never be finished with this battle - no matter whether I get to my goal or not! It's just another one of those hard lessons - we will never be able to do what other people can do without consequences. I can't eat like my skinny sister without gaining weight. I have to exercise daily, even though other people don't have to. It's not fair and it sucks, but it's my reality. Once I accept that, the rest is easier. I was so used to failure that I had convinced myself that the band would no longer work for me. I was afraid that I was too far gone. I am my own worst enemy. Once I learned how to defeat the band I could (and did) eat anything I wanted to - and as much of it as I wanted. I thought maybe I had just tricked myself into losing the weight the first time but that now the real me was back and it was all over. I thought that maybe I would never be able to do it again. More good news - I was wrong!!! Like I said - the acceptance piece was the key for me. Once I accepted that the band wasn't magical and that I have to do my part, miraculously, it started "working" again. So I follow the rules, workout, and I'm losing again. Because the scale messes with my head, I'm not allowing myself to step on the scale until July 31. But this morning I went shopping in the back of my closet and I'm wearing a dress today I haven't worn in over a year! You can do this! Start with regular doctor appointments. I need to have to look him in the eye. I know, I know - I should be doing it for me, blah, blah, blah. Don't care - those external controls are important for me. Maybe someday I'll be able to do it just for myself. But for now - I need to be accountable and not be able to hide or make excuses. My family loves me and accepts me whether I'm fat or not, and quite frankly - I can pretty easily justify or excuse just about anything to them and they accept that. Not the doctor. He knows BS when he hears it and he will call me on it. After getting back to the doctor, start logging your intake (brutally) and start walking every day. Once you get rolling - the momentum builds quickly. Don't give up!!!! Shelly

I've had mine for 7 years with zero complications.

This morning I met my goal for the week. I managed to get to the gym every day this week and worked out hard. I am consistently increasing resistance and endurance. And - I hate to admit it - I enjoy it. By the way, I'll deny that if anyone asks! So this morning, I was on the elliptical with my headphones, getting my jam on and feeling pretty good about myself because I'm making progress and meeting goals. As usual, I was watching the tv monitor above my machine (not much else to do at that point). Normally, they have it tuned to news or sports that early in the morning (at 5:30, there's not much else on). Today, for some reason, they had it on a channel that was just infomercials. The first was for make-up and the second was for hair products. As I sweated and pedaled faster, I learned all about how as a woman, I really need to have those make up products and how vital it is that my hair is shiney and bouncy. I really started to get pissed. I am SO SICK of hearing that I need just this one more thing to make me acceptable. The make up commercial interviewed a woman with a birthmark on her face that she could cover up with this make up. She cried as she talked about how she felt she could not go out in public because of her shame about how she looked - until she discovered this make up. Now she can cover her "imperfection" and hold her head up high in public because no one knows what she really looks like. What a tragic commentary on our society! I work on a daily basis with political refugees from other countries who have spent their entire lives just trying to survive. Some have been tortured, imprisoned, had fingers or limbs amputated in the course of "interrogations," had their families threatened, on and on and on. Seriously?!? We're worried about shiney hair?!? All day I have fought the urge to eat. I finally figured out why. I am such a passive aggressive person, I think a huge part of me wants to stay fat just to give a great big finger to everyone who would judge me on something like what size I wear, how shiney my hair is, or how smooth my skin looks (oooh - and by the way, I'm not sure I can go on with such stubby eyelashes. Life just isn't worth living!) I'm sick of hearing how inadequate I am. My teeth aren't white enough (or straight enough), my skin isn't clear enough, my legs aren't smooth enough, my hair isn't full enough, shiney enough, straight enough, or curly enough. I don't smell good enough and my lips aren't red enough. But don't worry - there's a plan, product, or prescription for all of it! (My personal favorite is the prescription for thicker eyelashes. REALLY?!?!) Dammit! I'm good enough just as I am! If I never lose another ounce! I will do this, but I will do it on MY terms and for MY reasons. I do not need to fit into their mold and meet their expectations, because no matter how much I do, it will never be enough. I have been suckered in to that shame and feeling of inadequacy all my life and I refuse to buy into it for another second! I will be healthy (truly healthy - body and mind) not because of society's pressure, but in spite of it! (Now can someone hand me a step ladder so I can get down off this box....) Shelly

Yes - the saggy skin and boobs are not much fun. But it's one of those trade-offs I'm willing to make. I have told myself now for the past 7 years that when I get to goal and stay there for a year, I will have the surgery to remove the skin and give the girls a lift. I'm 45 and my boobs sag to my knees now. But they are still pretty big (which I like) and my husband has a sense of humor. And guess what - I have a husband, which I didn't have before I lost the weight :-) So I'll take the girls being saggy in exchange for what I've gotten in return. I'll admit that swimsuit shopping is brutal because of the saggy thighs. When you've lost more weight and if you can - I highly recommend you go to a specialty lingerie store if at all possible for a personal bra fitting. I wear a 36G now - I had no idea!! The bras I buy now cost a small fortune (to me, anyway - about $75-$90 each) but they are totally worth it! My husband and I may know that my boobs sag to my knees, but no one else does! They stand tall and proud in their expensive slings. And there are 2 now instead of a uni-boob! Keep your sense of humor! Hang in there! (The girls sure will - Bahahahahahah!!!) Shelly

Eating is a survival behavior. We must eat or we will die. We are therefore hard-wired to find pleasure in food. It's the same reason we find pleasure in sex and find babies and children irresistibly cute - survival of the the species. The things that keep us alive and perpetuate the species are designed to be pleasurable so we will do them. Please don't try to overcome the love of food and pleasure you find in food. Abstinence works for drugs and alcohol because we don't need those things to survive. You will not be able to stop loving food - nor should you!!! If you don't find a way to enjoy your new life, you will either fail miserably, or succeed more miserably. Continue to enjoy cooking and healthy food. That's what we are supposed to do. All that junk food and unhealthy food we fed those cravings never satisfied because our bodies were really screaming for nutrition. When you find ways to give your body the nutrients it needs - that you can also enjoy - you will finally satisfy those cravings for good!!! I'm a foodie for life!!! Shelly

This is an intensely personal journey. Me - I don't have any qualms whatsoever about telling strangers or anyone else about the band. However - my employer has a big emphasis right now on wellness programs (they get a break on health insurance premiums, I think, for having employees participate in wellness programs). There are financial incentives for logging any wellness activity, such as exercise. It's possible to actually earn a total of a couple of hundred dollars per year by working out, etc. I could easily qualify for these incentives, but I refuse to log and turn in my activities. For me, it's very personal and I don't want to share it with them. I think I'm afraid that it will turn in to something different. Right now, I'm doing it for me. I don't want this to be about them. Frankly, getting up at 4:45 every morning and spending an hour at the gym working my a$$ off is not worth a few measly hundred dollars. (Don't get me wrong - I'm not rolling in money - it would come in handy). I have fought my weight all my life. I can't tell you how many times my parents offered me money, shopping trips, bedroom makeovers, etc. as incentives for losing weight. It only compounded my failures and - thanks to my passive aggressive nature - became a dis-incentive. This is MY journey and I get to decide who I invite to share it. Tell only those people with whom you are comfortable, and only when you are comfortable - and refuse to feel guilty or dishonest. This is YOURS and it's for YOU!!! Shelly

Yeah - I got to a point where I missed being able to eat "normal." Then I learned to defeat the band and I ate whatever and as much as I wanted. I returned to my old normal. And I gained back 60 pounds. Then I desperately wanted my band to work again! I was terrified that I had either done something to harm the band or stretched my pouch out so that it wouldn't work again. I hid in that fear and my embarrassment because I didn't want to face it and I didn't want to know if I'd screwed up so badly that it couldn't be fixed. Then I went in and faced it. I got a fill and my band is fine. I don't guess the pouch has stretched because if I follow the rules, my band stops me just like it used to. I am soooo grateful to have another shot at this, that I no longer miss eating "normal." There are times I'm eating something really good and I really want to finish it or to have more, just because I'm enjoying it. When the band stops me, I have a momentary flash of frustration and annoyance. Dammit - I want more! Then I remember my fear that I would end up where I started. And I smile. And stop. And go put my plate in the dishwasher. I never want to eat normal again!!! Shelly

Hi - friend request sent! :-) shelly

WOO HOO!!! I love pictures because I can never tell in the mirror. I can't see it in real life and I can't even necessarily feel it. But I can always tell in pictures. LOVE IT! Way to go!!

It makes total sense, and I know the feeling completely! It kind of makes me teary to read your story, because it's a very powerful experience for those of us who have been through it. That's why I find this site helpful. I've had my band for 7 years. I had really started to take it for granted and forget what it's like. I've maintained 100+ pound weight loss (although I lost more than that and have gained back - but I'm on my way back down). It can be emotionally overwhelming at times - fear of failure, fear of success, pride, freedom, power, helplessness, excitement - all of it at the same time! Good for you! If you can, print out your post or copy and paste it into a private journal somewhere. Down the road when you stall or become discouraged (because it happens to all of us at some point), go back and read it. Remember why you are doing this and just how amazing it is!

Oh, I remember it well!!! My first solid food meal after the band. I was running late for work, which is normal for me, so I went through Sonic and got a breakfast burrito. I wasn't thinking because I was in a hurry. You know how the first bite is just doughy tortilla? OMG!!! I thought I was going to die!!! You learn quickly! I also found that peanut butter on bread gets stuck pretty easily for me. I think it just turns into spackle in the pouch and kind of stops up the hole for a good long time. It's nice to know, though, when I know I'm going to be somewhere that I won't be able to eat. I eat a half of a peanut butter sandwich (no jelly) and I'm good for hours!! As for breakfasts (as long as you are on full solids), I have found that a slice of ham and a slice of low-fat cheese (my favorite is pepper jack) on a whole wheat tortilla is super easy. I stack it, fold it in half, melt it in the microwave for about 20 seconds, and I'm off. I also make breakfast burritos alot - pretty much the same thing plus an egg. A banana usually fills me up pretty quickly too. Since cantaloupe is in season now, I've been eating that alot. Other than that, it's usually greek yogurt and berries.

I think a lot of people find that they are tighter in the morning, so sometimes it takes less to fill you up then. But I personally don't really notice a difference in the morning. A typical breakfast for me would be a breakfast burrito made with a low carb/high Fiber whole wheat tortilla (which bears a strong resemblance to brown construction paper - just sayin'), a slice of low-fat pepper jack cheese, and an egg scrambled with 1 oz of ham or turkey sausage. Some days I can eat all of it, and some days I can't. I just know that I do much better in the morning with a high Protein breakfast that fills me up - especially since I started working out in the morning. As for the popcorn, I can eat it if I want it. I just don't very often. To be honest, I have never found anything that I absolutely cannot eat if I want it. Full, heavy bread gets stuck easily - usually after one or two bites I'm done. Steak or pork chops are also harder to go down - but they are supposed to be. Usually after 2-3 ounces, I'm pretty full, if I'm not drinking anything. That's why for me that rule is so important. No drink - protein first. If I do that, the whole thing works like a charm! Shelly

I remember having to re-learn how to burp. It seems like it took different muscles and I just had to figure out how to do it. In the mean time, anti-gas medications became good friends. I was never a very good burper to begin with, so even though I can burp now, it's still not really easy. I keep OTC gas medicines with me. One of them makes a dissolveable strip(like the Listerine breath strips) you can buy.

Yup - it really does - and trust me - it was a welcome relief!

I'm not sure what your doctor's rules/preferences are so make sure whatever you get stays within those parameters. Having said that, I thought I would never be able to do the liquid phase, but it was not as bad as I expected. My doc required 6 weeks liquids pre-op, then Clear Liquids post op and on to full liquids for another 2 weeks before moving on to mushy/pureed food. I don't like milky-type shakes, so I did a lot of Soups. I was allowed to buy full soups (that had veg, etc in them) as long as I blended them. That helped - having a big variety so it wasn't just cream of chicken or tomato soup. I also really like intense flavors - I don't like things that taste watered down. So I had a hard time making a fruit Protein shake that had enough flavor for me. I started adding the small packets of crystal light to the shake and they were really good. I would definitely ask your doctor if you can blend in fruit to your shakes. My typical shake would be a container of sugar free low fat yogurt, frozen fruit, Protein Powder, a little milk, and a crystal light packet (usually just part of one). For me, the key was variety. If you can do fruit, do a lot of different kinds - stuff you might not normally eat. I got really tired of strawberries! But when I started adding things like mango and apricots, it wasn't so boring. I was also told to do a Multivitamin and calcium supplements. I think my doctor gave me a list of Vitamins and minerals that needed to be in the multivitamin and how much of each one I needed to have, so I could read labels and pick a multivitamin that had as much of everything I needed. Again - I'd check with your doctor to see if he/she has specific requirements on this. Hope this helps and good luck! If I can do it, trust me, you can too! I made it through the whole liquid phase without cheating (except once about 2 weeks before surgery. I snapped and ate an amazing salad with nothing but vegetables in it. It was the best salad I've ever eaten in my life!!! You'd think if I was going to snap, I'd have something like a steak or even something like french fries. Nope - I thought I would die if I didn't have that salad. Bodies are weird!) Shelly

I have a 10 year old golden retriever, Jasper, who is seriously the most sensitive dog I've ever encountered. If anyone in the family is sick or even depressed/anxious, he is glued to them and very attentive. Bless his heart, he has a thyroid problem and we call him Tubby Bubby (I always wanted to be able to say that I was tubby because of my thyroid, but it was all on me - no defective thyroid to use as an excuse....). Anyway, he's getting old and slow, so he is a great walking partner. And since we both need the exercise, it's a match made in heaven! Dogs are so awesome - complete, unconditional love and devotion!

Ditto, ditto, ditto! liquid calories is the most basic reason (and probably least important, in my opinion). The research is beginning to pour in about the VERY high rate of alcoholism among bariatric surgery patients. As others have said, there are very few bariatric patients who can honestly say that food was not a coping skill for them. I think I'm pretty well put together, but the transition from being able to drown emotions with food kind of messed with my head for a while. With the weight loss, it takes less to get a buzz because of body weight and metabolism. Plus, we don't/can't consume as much food to slow down the rate of absorption like before. Using this new body takes some getting used to and we really have to think about what we are ingesting like we never did before surgery. At least I know that eating was a pretty unconscious process for me pre-band. Habits, habits, habits. I quit smoking 3 years ago and I still think I should smoke when I'm drinking. It just feels weird because it goes together for me. Same goes for food. There's a reason people love bar food. It just goes with the alcohol. Plus, when I drink - even if I'm not getting plastered, I know that my judgment and perception are impaired. A whole plate full of appetitzer/bar food looks much different to me after a few margaritas. Suddenly it sounds like a great idea! (when I probably wouldn't seriously do much damage without the margaritas). I think, in general, that first year after WLS is all about learning a whole new way of life and adjusting to a healthy lifestyle. Unless the lifestyle changes, we stand very little chance for long term success. Limiting alcohol is part of that healthy lifestyle. (I never heard the thing about risk for erosion, but it makes sense). All in all - I think it's good advise to just avoid it for a while. Shelly

Every time! I drink lots and lots of water and lemon juice. That stupid, fickle scale is the reason I'm not allowing myself to weigh in until the end of the month. It messes with my head!!!

When that happens to me, it's usually blood sugar and or protein. May want to check with your doc just in case, but when I get like that, I really need some sugar and protein. It's been a long time since I was on the liquid diet phase, but I remember a protein shake with real fruit blended in (especially a banana for the potassium) really helped. Shelly

How exciting! I'm so happy for you! It is so much fun to see that kind of progress - be proud and enjoy it! Shelly

This past Tuesday was my crappy day. I feel your pain! Too bad surgery and weight loss do not solve all the problems, like work and life in general. Hang on and do whatever you have to do to get through. Tuesday, I was on the verge of just saying screw it all and defeating alot of the progress I've made recently. Although I wasn't perfect, I managed to contain the damage. I did go for Indian buffet at lunch - but I've done much much worse in my time! I stopped with one plate (even though what was on that plate was loaded with calories!!!). Then I had a very healthy dinner and got back up the next day to go work out and have been back on track the rest of the week. That's HUGE for me! You can get through this. Don't let them into your head and certainly don't let them defeat what is most important to you. Prayers! Shelly