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Everything posted by srussell8
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Yup - Always cold since I lost weight! Never an issue before that! Apparently 100 pounds makes a big difference in one's ability to regulate body temperature! I keep a jacket and socks in my office and I pretty much always run my space heater at work year round. I get a lot of crap about it, but I don't care. It's an awesome complaint to have! I'd MUCH rather be down 100 pounds (eventually I'll be back to 140 or even 150 down) and freezing than back where I was at pre-surgery weight and comfortable or hot all the time! Shelly
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Good for you! You're not just going to do this - you ARE doing this!!! Keep working on increasing that water intake and moving your body. Hang in there! To this day the best thing I have ever eaten in my entire life was my first scrambled egg after surgery! I had been on a 6 week pre-op liquid diet, then the clear liquids and full liquids post-op. I will never forget that first egg! Go Adrienne! Shelly
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200-250... Ouch. What Are Your Goals!? Motivation.
srussell8 replied to xoLisha's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
Please never let your shame and embarrassment be the reason you delay or avoid talking to your dr. We have all been crippled by the shame for so long. NO MORE! There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to have WLS - not wanting to undergo surgery, deciding it is not the best option for you, other health conditions, etc. If something like that keeps you from pursuing it, I'd be first in line to support your decision. HOWEVER - if it's embarrassment or shame that keeps you from moving forward, dump it!!! You will be astounded by the freedom you find! Shelly -
200-250... Ouch. What Are Your Goals!? Motivation.
srussell8 replied to xoLisha's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
This was one of my FAVORITE experiences of my entire life. I went to Dress Barn and automatically went to the "Woman" side. Nothing fit and I had to go to the other side of the store!!! I spent waaayyyy too much money, just because I could! I remember before I got my band, I would read people's stories of losing 100+ pounds and I was sooo jealous. I could not imagine it being me. But now it is. You WILL get there, too, and it will be amazing!!! Shelly -
How many interesting people have you missed out on meeting?
srussell8 commented on lellow's blog entry in lellow's Blog
Very poignant! I, too, have always - at least since 2nd grade, been fat. I never dated until I lost the weight. Part of that was my whole thing about hiding and protecting myself (completely unaware of it of course!). But my dysfunctional strategy worked so well because staying fat made me invisible. Honestly - when in situations where meeting people or the possibility of romantic relationships was there, it never occurred to me that anyone might consider me. I intuitively knew that I was not on the menu. In junior high, when my boy-crazy best friend and I went to 6 Flags (or anywhere, really), I was just an audience as she flirted with every male she saw. She saw them and they saw her. But I was invisible to everyone until their encounter was over. When we went to church camp, the goal of the week was to have a boyfriend/girlfriend by the time we left. Eight summers of church camp - not one boyfriend. Not even a nibble. Now, like I said, I have to take full responsibility and don't get to whine about how shallow people are and "poor, lonely, fat, me," because I made my choices. I spent waaaayyyy too many years on that pity pot. That does not, however, change the fact that because I did not fit the mold -(literally could not have fit into that mold...) I was a non-entity. I have a dear friend who is partially paralyzed due to a stroke many, many years ago. Now that I am "visible" to the world, I am shocked when we go somewhere and she is the invisible one. People will acknowledge me and completely pretend they never saw her. I pray that I never become so accustomed to being "normal" that I treat others with such disregard. Shelly -
Why, oh why - please tell me...Why am I in the most danger when I've had a victory??? So we all know that exercise is the bane of my existence. But I've managed to work out at least 3 days a week for a month now. So this week, I'm bumping it up to 5 days a week. Grrrr. So I haul it out of bed this morning with the intention of doing something different at the gym. Everyone says you shouldn't get stuck doing one exercise routine - you should mix it up. I was therefore going to do a bike instead of the elliptical and weights. Started out fine - but the seat KILLED my butt (and not in the good 'oh I'm feeling the burn' way - more like the 'OMG I'm being sawed in half' way) !!! So I switched to one of the bikes where you are more seated with your legs horizontal instead of vertical. Didn't like that either because everytime I pedaled, I smooshed my stomach (which is still considerable) into my boobs, which are even more considerable. All of this and I only burned half the calories I burn on the elliptical. Had to leave the gym earlier than usual because I had an early morning at work. Managed to actually eat a good, protein breakfast and get to the stupid meeting on time (HUGE for me). Only to find out the meeting was canceled!!! However, we were having a drug rep coming later - with breakfast! So now - I've already eaten and they bring in tons of food (breakfast pastries, naturally) to leave in the break room, 3 steps from my office. Before vacation, about a month ago, I bought a new linen outfit. Fit perfectly. I haven't gotten around to wearing it until today because it's linen and requires ironing - which I only do about once a year. So I put it on - pants are too big!! :-) YAY me! I've mentioned that I was getting pissy because the scale wasn't moving, which usually triggers a binge for me. So I'm not allowed to get on the scale until the end of the month. The idea is to get used to doing the healthy thing because it's healthy, rather than being motivated by a number on the scale. So having a NSV like my brand new outfit being too big already is big for me! SO - someone please tell me WHY I'm seriously in danger of having a really, really bad - out of control eating - kind of a day! Why must everything trigger a binge for me??? If doing the right thing and not having a payoff makes me want to eat - why does doing the right thing and having a payoff make me want to eat?!?! Getting up for an extra workout - victory Healthy, protein breakfast - victory On time for early meeting - victory New clothes too big - victory I just have that unbelievable urge to eat everything I can find. I am my own worst enemy! Ready to turn around, go home, and climb in bed to hide until it's over!!! Shelly
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Well, crap! I AM a psychologist... I don't think this is a good sign... :-/ Shelly
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Amazing No-Noodle Zucchini Lasagna Recipe
srussell8 replied to GuyMontag's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
Sounds awesome! I always have so much more zucchini than I know what to do with in the summer. The first of it is just about ripe now. (I'm in Colorado, where the growing season starts much later than I'm used to back home). I will definitely try this! Thanks for sharing!!! Shelly -
Please don't let anyone scare you about this journey! Each person's experience is unique. I have had my band for 7 years and had many fills. Never has it hurt or caused me any problems after a fill. And this with a needle phobia! tiny little sting when they start the lidocain injection, but I have never felt anything associated with a fill after that. After only 8 days, you are feeling good and noticing a change in how you function, and apparently other people are noticing positive changes as well. WooHoo! Celebrate baby!!! When I first got my band, I didn't really know anyone else who had one and didn't do any kind of support group. I think now that may have been good for me because I didn't hear any horror stories or other things that messed with my head. Just follow the rules and do whatever your doc tells you. You are already rockin' this!!! Shelly
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The Lap Band Didn't Work For Me.....
srussell8 replied to bambam31's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I think I've been at a place where I can agree with every single post on this thread. When I first started, I was in the same place as B-52. It was super easy!!! I really didn't work at it at all! Sure, I followed the rules and as I lost weight I became more active, which in turn made me lose more weight. But I didn't struggle. THAT's when I became complacent. I decided my lifelong weight loss battle was over and I had won. I ate whatever I wanted and still didn't gain weight - at first. Slowly, old habits crept back in. I learned how to eat even more of whatever I wanted. I woke up one day (5 years later) to find that I had regained 60 pounds. Imagine that! 60 pounds overnight. It wasn't there one day and it was there the next day. Turns out, this lifelong battle is far from over! Bad news - I'm the only one responsible for what I weigh. Good news - I'm the only one responsible for what I weigh. If I'm not responsible for it, I'm not in control of it. Plug in anything you want for the word "it" in that sentence. My weight, my happiness, my health, my behavior, my anything! So now - although I'm 7 years into this journey and have maintained a 100 lb weight loss (at least I didn't undo all of my progress!) - I feel like I'm back at square one with the lifestyle. I'm learning to work the band instead of letting the band do all the work. I log everything I eat. I'm working out. I'm getting and giving support. I have always been in love with my band because I really thought it was the magic answer for all my life's problems (because - of course - every single problem and every single thing that made me slightly unhappy or uncomfortable was all because I was fat, right???). Now I'm in love with my band because it's not a magic answer. It doesn't work for me. It doesn't "make" me lose weight. What it does do is force me to take responsibility for my own life. And when I do that, I have more control, more confidence, and more satisfaction that I could ever have imagined. Shelly -
What not to say to somebody who is getting a band...
srussell8 replied to Terry Poperszky's topic in Rants & Raves
Perhaps it was all the bacon grease? -
Let's lighten the mood.
srussell8 replied to SolracSpree's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
How 'bout.... I was getting that fancy pedicure where the tiny fish eat all the stuff off your feet and I slipped and fell in.... (Yeah, I know, it's sick...) -
This is another one of those things I have taken for granted for the past 7 years. I didn't realize how I had placed my band at risk. All this time, I thought it was just about whether I felt uncomfortable or whether I did/didn't lose weight. It kind of scares the crap out of me now. The thought of losing my band literally almost makes me panic. My new mantra is "I'll be good, I'll be good, I'll be good..." Shelly
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My email is srussell8@yahoo.com and I'm SA062768 on MyFitnessPal. Shelly
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Goal for this week is to work out every day. Heavy sigh. Such a strange mixture of dread and desire. I die every time, but the more I do, the more I want to do!
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I know there are different opinions about carbonation and the band. My doctor did not tell me not to drink carbonation, but I discovered that there were days I could drink soda and days I could not. Over the years, I discovered that I just don't really want it much anymore. I do like to have an occasional diet soda, but it's rare. (I don't mind artificial sweetener, so I gave up sugared soda many many years ago, just because of the calories). Honestly, if I am following the rules, I just don't usually have time to drink soda. If I don't drink 30 min before or 2 hours after a meal, and if I'm working in the required amount of water between meals, I'm not sure when I'd find time for a Coke! It's amazing what a difference one small thing can make! Now if I could just get my husband and kids (can't make the kids stop until he does) to give up soda, we could go on a cruise with the savings! Shelly
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I'm in a very similar position. I got my band in June 2006 - lost 140 in the first 2 years. Then I got married and became a full time mom to my husbands kids from a previous marriage. We moved away from our support systems and away from my lapband doc. Over the next 5 years, fills were inconsistent to say the least - once every 2 years or so I made an appt to see my doc when we were home for vacation. Between the stress (and return to old comfort food patterns), financial issues, and lack of follow-up care, I gained back 60 of the 140 I originally lost. A few months ago I got a fill and have lost 20 of the 60. So now I have another 40 to go to get to my goal. I am tracking every bite I take with My Fitness Pal and I'm working out regularly (which is the absolute hardest part for me). I'm trying to refocus on me for a bit. After the life-long struggle, I don't want to find myself wishing for the "might have been" and the "I was so close once!" So although I didn't gain the weight because of pregnancy, I do consider it a consequence of becoming a mom. These past 5 years, every ounce of my focus was on establishing our family and getting through some difficult times. Now, we are on pretty solid footing and I feel like it's time to take care of myself again. As I said, all of my previous support system is in another state, so I can use all the support I can get. I never really participated in any kind of lapband support groups the first time around, so this is pretty new for me. I do best when I have accountability, though. I'd love to buddy-up! Shelly
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QUESTION (Has anybody feel like they fell thier weight loss)?
srussell8 replied to lparedes's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
Ditto! I'm so glad I stopped the skid when I did! I'm back on track now and it's worth it! Before surgery, I remember looking at pictures from 20 years ago, thinking that if I had done something then I wouldn't have had so far to go. Imagine how happy you will be when you realize that instead of gaining more weight and being heavier than pre-surgery, you stopped the slide and caught yourself before you went too much further. I was embarrassed and ashamed to go in and acknowledge my screw up, but - trust me - he wasn't surprised, nor was he outraged. We put so much shame on ourselves unnecessarily! It's such an intensely personal journey and we have felt like failures for so long! We get used to hiding. It's so incredibly freeing to stop hiding, hold my head up, and keep going. Please go back in to your doc and work with your team! You can do it if you do it for yourself. Don't let the shame and discouragement keep you paralyzed! Shelly -
Anyone else get really really depressed from this site?
srussell8 replied to Lapbandster's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I only recently started posting on this site and I've had my band for 7 years with no complications whatsoever. I got lazy and regained some weight, so I needed to re-focus and get back on track. Actually, those "horror stories" have helped me to think about my band differently. I really never knew about some of those problems, especially since I have been so complication-free. It kind of woke me up to how I had taken my band for granted and abused it. I think I kind of got lucky, because there were many times I ate until it hurt or did other things that could cause real problems. I didn't realize how serious the consequences could be, and sort of just thought that worst case scenario for not following the rules was either not losing or gaining weight. I come here because it helps me stay focused on what I want and need to do. I do have to be careful - yesterday I was reading posts and found myself craving all kinds of crazy stuff. I think it's like everything else (including the band itself) - it depends on how you use it. If you find it being more harmful than helpful - stop. It can be depressing or triggering, and you are the best judge of what's working for you. I have found that there are certain people I can count on for that dose of reality and accountability I need. I use the rest of the posts as a reminder of what I don't ever want to be. Shelly -
We all have the same struggle or wouldn't have had WLS in the first place. I really really really want the band to do my work and just physically cut me off so I can't possibly eat anymore. In the beginning, I think that happened. But not now. Here are the absolute essentials for me: Absolutely, under no circumstances, can I drink anything with my meal or have any type of liquid that will let the food slide through (gravy, sauce, etc). If I do, I can eat as much as I want (and that's a lot). I must - and trust me I hate this part - exercise. I hate to do it, but if I don't exercise I will not lose weight. Not only does it burn really stubborn fat, but it actually helps me make better food choices, too. If I spend 30 minutes dying on the elliptical at 5:30 in the morning, I'll be damned if I'll eat those 300 calories back in 30 seconds with a freakin' Almond Joy! I have to track my food and exercise to make myself face the reality of how much I am consuming/burning. I am really really good at avoiding. If I make myself be brutally honest, it's much easier to stop when I should. Something about having to 'fess up to My Fitness Pal works for me. Plus, it's super easy to think that it's ok to eat 3 Fiber One brownies throughout the day because they are small and only have 90 calories each. But guess what - if I do, I might as well have just had the Almond Joy and been done with it. (...guess what I've been craving lately...) So those are my absolutes. I must force myself to do those things. Oh - and when I do really go crazy and just blow it - I must look at the scale and face it. But there is a fine balance between facing it and punishing myself. The scale is a demon. I must look, but I must not look too much. Recently, I've been doing well and the scale hasn't budged. That just makes me mad and when I get pissy like that I want to just say "Screw it, then - I'll do what I want if it doesn't make a difference anyway." So for now I'm not allowed to look at the scale until the end of the month unless I think I may have gained weight. I really wanted the band to be my bouncer who would throw me out of the bar when I've had too much. That way, I wouldn't have to think about it and I wouldn't have to be the one to say "enough." (Because quite frankly - I seldom feel like it's "enough.") But it's still all on me. Ugh! I do feel your pain! Shelly
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I got up and went to the gym before work. Full 30 min on elliptical and full circuit of weights. My muscles are humming (tomorrow they will probably be screaming). Working out is a huge deal for me. I hate it. I resent it. I hate that I have to work so hard to feel good. Yeah, see - there's that entitlement thing again. I should just get to feel good and look good without any effort on my part. Working out is a sign of acceptance for me. It says I accept that I have to work hard and not have everything I want. It says I accept that I have to wait to see results of my effort. It says I accept responsibility for the damage I have caused my body and it says I accept responsibility for changing that. Not accepting these things is what lands me in that self-pity pit and kept me morbidly obese for the vast majority of my life. In 12 step meetings they say "Half measures availed us nothing." For me, only focusing on what I don't do or don't eat is only half. This isn't just about what I don't do. It's also about what I do. Especially since I got the band, it's relatively easy to not eat. Sure, I can get around it, but if I follow the rules, the band does most of that work for me. But the exercise - the proactive piece - that's all on me. Do I want this or not? Am I willing to be an active participant in the process, rather than a passive recipient waiting for the weight loss fairy to visit me? If this is just about weight loss, then I suppose if I follow the rules and wait patiently, I will eventually get to goal weight. But it really isn't about just weight loss - otherwise it's just another in a lifetime of diets. This is a total transformation of my way of thinking about life, control, and personal responsibility. It is acceptance of reality, rather than insistence on maintaining my stubborn delusions of grandeur. Reality sucks - but at least it's real. Shelly
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eating correct amounts. .help please
srussell8 replied to jessika42's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
My dr insists on 60 g of protein/day and the rest is bonus. I stick to lean meats and fresh veg/fruits (mostly). In general, I try to follow a general South Beach kind of plan, which pretty much amounts to high Protein, low/good carbs (e.g., 100% whole grains only/lower sugar fruit such as apples), low/good fat (e.g., olive oil). After living with my band for 7 years, I still need to weigh and measure my portions. I just cannot "eyeball" a good portion size for me. I will always put more on the plate than I should. When I weigh and measure, I find that even then I may not be able to eat everything on my plate, so when I don't measure, I end up with waaayyy too much (and since I'm a life long member of the happy plate club, that's bad for me). To get the amount of protein I need, I have to eat protein first - every time. I agree with Missy - consult a nutritionist. (I have never met with a nutritionist, but then again, my dr was very forthcoming -read "bossy" - about what I should be eating). Have you considered talking with another dr and possibly changing? If he/she is a bariatric specialist, it should come as no surprise that eating healthy and proper proportions is not your strength. For them to be condescending and unhelpful about it sounds strange. Shelly -
It's do-able - I've done it a thousand times. I would recommend you talk to your doctor and see if he/she can recommend any physical therapy or isotonic exercises that would be feasible and compatible with your medical condition. I've never met a dr yet who couldn't come up with some type of exercise for anyone (and believe me - I've looked! :-/ )
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How do you deal with friends who aren't supportive?
srussell8 replied to Nurse_B's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I have a cousin who is also very large and we were best friends for many years. We were both single, so we were in the same place in life. We were also eating partners. When I decided to have WLS, she pulled away. I lost the weight and she pretty much could not deal with being around me. I began dating and got married. Although we had been best friends for nearly 15 years, she chose not to come to my wedding and be happy for me. Right after the wedding, I ran into her at Target and she was pretty much stuck with acknowledging me. She has never met my kids and has not spoken to me since that day in Target over 5 years ago. I have actually been thinking a lot about her lately. Jealousy is an ugly thing. I think there is also an element of shame. Before I lost weight, I knew exactly what my lifestyle was doing to me. But as long as I stayed with others who endorsed that lifestyle, I could continue to put the blame for my loneliness and isolation on all those shallow people out there who couldn't see past my weight. And I didn't have to make any effort. And I could do what I wanted without regard to consequences. My lifestyle change was much more than just losing weight. It was taking responsibility for my life and my circumstances. It was deciding that I would do the hard thing whether it was hard or not. It was refusing to place my happiness in the hands of other people. It was trading immediate gratification for long-term success. That's why she could no longer be my friend. She did not want to make the same kind of lifestyle changes and we therefore no longer had anything to base the friendship on. I truly believe that this journey fundamentally changes you. It must, if you are to be successful. We simply can't think about life, food, and happiness in the same way anymore. As I've said before, I really believe the weight loss is an awesome side effect of the life changes I've made. And when I reverted to my old ways of thinking and living, I began to gain the weight back. It's really very sad and I do mourn the loss. I'm also sad for her because she remains stuck and I know what a miserable place it is, because I spent many years there. I know she feels I abandoned her and resents me for it. Not to sound selfish, but this journey is not about her - it's about me. Some people are going to be able to accept your new life and join you on the adventure - and some won't. The ones who won't probably won't even realize why. Your choice is to either stay where you are to make sure no one feels bad or to assume responsibility for your life and let them take responsibility for theirs. -
It's been a very long time for me since I did my pre-op liquid diet, but I know that I preferred whey protein to the other stuff. I'm not a huge dairy fan, so drinking the milky shakes was really really nasty for me and I got creative. I like fruity, so I would start with fat free, sugar free flavored yogurt in a blender. I added the protein powder and frozen fruit. I kept experimenting until I hit something I liked. It may sound strange, but I discovered that if I added a packet of Crystal Light to it, it was actually good. Someone also told me about unflavored protein powder that I started adding to soups to get more protein there.