-
Content Count
5,580 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Reputation Activity
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from kckitty for a blog entry, EGD - Swallow, Don't Bite
The pain! Oh God, the pain! - no, just kidding. They put me under and I woke up with a scratchy throat. I wouldn't even have noticed my throat if I hadn't been warned that it might be sore.
I was under for about 20 minutes, woke up and was back in the car headed home within the hour. If they haven't told you, they won't let you drive yourself home, but I felt alert and had no after effects of the anesthesia.
They gave me the same stuff used on Micheal Jackson, to put him to sleep.
It was funny, they put a mouth guard in so I wouldn't bite the scope, said they were about the put me under.
Next thing I know, I'm waking up (thinking that I had just blinked my eyes) and I put the mouth guard back in because I thought I had let it slip out. The staff was laughing at me, cause I didn't realize the procedure was over.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Daizymoo for a blog entry, Can You Fail With The Sleeve?
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
-
joatsaint got a reaction from LipstickLady for a blog entry, Escape from Temptation Island or How I Survived the Monthly Office Birthday Party
My office has an official celebration for everyone having a birthday each month. And they bring out the goodies. Lots of cookies, dips, chocolate gooey thingies and of course cake.
For reasons unknown to me the thought of all those goodies lined up for the taking triggers something in my brain. I get a ravenous hunger that almost compels me to eat stuff that normally I don't even think about. I just want to bury my face in the cake and go, "Nom nom nom. Oh, you're a dirty cake aren't you! Nom nom nom."
I was able to restrain myself to just one piece of coated popcorn. I thought it was a coated nut. Honest! AND it was yucky! (That's my story and I'm stickin to it!) I am not looking for applause or a pat on the back, since I only did what I was suppose to do - for the past 35 years. Just wanted to share that we all have our weak moments and demons to fight.
Keep Pimpin That Sleeve!
-
joatsaint got a reaction from LipstickLady for a blog entry, Escape from Temptation Island or How I Survived the Monthly Office Birthday Party
My office has an official celebration for everyone having a birthday each month. And they bring out the goodies. Lots of cookies, dips, chocolate gooey thingies and of course cake.
For reasons unknown to me the thought of all those goodies lined up for the taking triggers something in my brain. I get a ravenous hunger that almost compels me to eat stuff that normally I don't even think about. I just want to bury my face in the cake and go, "Nom nom nom. Oh, you're a dirty cake aren't you! Nom nom nom."
I was able to restrain myself to just one piece of coated popcorn. I thought it was a coated nut. Honest! AND it was yucky! (That's my story and I'm stickin to it!) I am not looking for applause or a pat on the back, since I only did what I was suppose to do - for the past 35 years. Just wanted to share that we all have our weak moments and demons to fight.
Keep Pimpin That Sleeve!
-
joatsaint got a reaction from LipstickLady for a blog entry, Escape from Temptation Island or How I Survived the Monthly Office Birthday Party
My office has an official celebration for everyone having a birthday each month. And they bring out the goodies. Lots of cookies, dips, chocolate gooey thingies and of course cake.
For reasons unknown to me the thought of all those goodies lined up for the taking triggers something in my brain. I get a ravenous hunger that almost compels me to eat stuff that normally I don't even think about. I just want to bury my face in the cake and go, "Nom nom nom. Oh, you're a dirty cake aren't you! Nom nom nom."
I was able to restrain myself to just one piece of coated popcorn. I thought it was a coated nut. Honest! AND it was yucky! (That's my story and I'm stickin to it!) I am not looking for applause or a pat on the back, since I only did what I was suppose to do - for the past 35 years. Just wanted to share that we all have our weak moments and demons to fight.
Keep Pimpin That Sleeve!
-
joatsaint got a reaction from krisann1031 for a blog entry, Blow Is Just an Expression - CPAP and Sterilized Water
OMG, That stuff is nasty.
When I was in the hospital, my CPAP machine ran out of water. I asked for some tap water, and the nurse offered me some sterile water instead. At the time, I couldn't smell or taste anything, so it wasn't a problem.
It was after I got back home and tried on my mask. The stench had infiltrated every part of the mask, tubing and reservoir. It took a few rinsing, but I finally got the stench out.
Sterilized means that all the bacteria and viruses have been removed or killed, such as by UV irradiation or boiling.
Distilled means the water has been boiled, the steam collected, and condensed back into pure water.
-
joatsaint reacted to BigDaddyJoe for a blog entry, I'm overweight! I'm overweight!
Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from catheryn3 for a blog entry, Monster Poos - The Smelly Secret Behind Stalls or What can Brown Doodoo for you?
Update: 4-26-3013:
It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."
Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.
But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.
You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"
Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from catheryn3 for a blog entry, Monster Poos - The Smelly Secret Behind Stalls or What can Brown Doodoo for you?
Update: 4-26-3013:
It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."
Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.
But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.
You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"
Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from Satchel for a blog entry, Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster
I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
-
joatsaint got a reaction from catheryn3 for a blog entry, Monster Poos - The Smelly Secret Behind Stalls or What can Brown Doodoo for you?
Update: 4-26-3013:
It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."
Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.
But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.
You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"
Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.