joatsaint

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!
 
Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.
 
I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.
 
Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).
 
But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.
 

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.
 
I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!
 
Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.
 
It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.
 
This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.
 
That's where Guinness comes in.
 
I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.
 
I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.
 
P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.
 
They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(
 
P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.
 
I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!
 
Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.
 
It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.
 
This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.
 
That's where Guinness comes in.
 
I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.
 
I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.
 
P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.
 
They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(
 
P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step. What they don't tell you is that the journey is a b*tch if you're on step 1!
 
1/14/2015
Well it's been a few months since I last walked. November to be exact. With the cold weather and injuries and sinus drainage, I was pretty much out of commission. We were at it hard during September and October, hitting new highs on speed, sometimes going as fast as 3.9 mph for 3 miles.
 
But November, my partner hurt his ankle and was out for 3 weeks, then I got terrible sinus headaches from breathing the smoke from neighbors burning piles of leaves and then the cold rain set in. So here it is, the middle of January and we haven't walked a mile per day. Fortunately, I've actually lost weight in that time and kept it off. My new job keeps me moving quite a bit.
 
8/26/2014
Wish there was more the report, but it's still HOT in Texas. Most days the temp is around 91 with a heat index of 101 when I walk. I've had to start wearing a water soaked towel around my neck and a hat while I walk to complete 3 miles. I've come close to heat exhaustion a few times and had to head over to the water faucet and soak my head till the dizziness clears. I thought I'd have built up a tolerance to the heat by now, but doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Good news is, the worst of the heat is over, once we hit September temps will slooooooowly creep down to the low 90's every evening. And by October, we'll be back in the 80's. I can't wait to see how fast I can do 4 miles when the temps are down in the 80's. Hopefully, I'll break the 15 minute mile. :-)
 
7/30/2014
I know I keep saying this, but OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! The good news is that today was a cloudy day and I managed 4.25 miles @ 3.6 mph. I should be up and above 4 mph by the time cool weather rolls in during October.
 
The heat is still in the 94 - 95 degree range with a heat index of 101 - 104. And as Madge said on the Palmolive dish-washing detergent, "You're soaking in it." :-P I'm still walking 5 days a week and hugging every inch of shade I can find! But I had to cut back to 3 miles, down from 4. I was just getting too dizzy and sick - even with using a water soaked towel to keep cool and carrying a water bottle. Monday, I had to stop at 2.5 miles and go soak my head under a water faucet. I hit a point and knew I had better get cooled off or something bad was about to happen.
 


 
7/24/2014
OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS!
For the past week it's been between 91 and 94 degrees with a heat index of 101 - 104... during the evenings... when I'm walking! I've had to begin carrying a wet towel and carry a water bottle to prevent dehydration and heat exhaustion. But aside from that, I've managed to walk between 3 and 4 miles in about an hour, averaging 3.5 - 3.7 mph. And haven't missed a day this week. But you gotta believe it when I say I was looking for ANY excuse to skip walking after work. But alas, the weather has been clear during the evenings and all the rain has managed to miss my exercise hour. I wonder how much it would cost me to have a crop duster fly up and seed some clouds just around the time I supposed to start walking????
 
7/04/2014
Another 3 miles (including 1 mile in total of jogging in short stretches) in the record book. It still amazes me when I think back to just 18 months ago when I would go to bed wondering how much it would hurt to walk from the car to my desk at work.
 
The Texas heat is a monster and I was really dreading walking (I mean baking) in 94 degree heat with a heat index of 101. That was yesterday! But I got rained out at the last minute. :-) ****Does happy dance**** I know, I know, I should be like those workout gurus and tell you how much I missed not going out there and sweating my ass off. But I gotta be honest and say I will take any "HONEST" excuse to duck out on walking in this heat. When I say "HONEST EXCUSE" I mean just that.... a real, "believable", reason (rain, when my car had a flat 2 weeks ago, or I feel like I've been pushing myself to the point of injury or sickness). Skipping a walk just because I don't feel like it is not enough.
 
So this morning the I had planned to walk with a friend at Claiborne Park just north of Vidor, TX. We normally do 3.25 miles and I've been increasing the distance I've been jogging. But the radar shows rain headed right for us in the next hour or so. So we cancelled it.
 
Instead I ran around my neighborhood. One lap around my block is approx. 1/2 mile. 2 long sides and 2 short sides. In 70 degree weather, I managed to run 12 of the short sides for a total of 1 miles....And the amazing part was I could have done more! So we'll see how much more tomorrow when I'm back out at Claiborne.

 
 
6/29/2014
Can't believe how well my attempts to jog are working out. Averaged 3.5 mph for 3.25 miles today. I walk a figure 8 style track and managed to jog the 4 straightaways all three laps. My next goal is to jog 1 mile non-stop. Shooting to reach that goal by the end of July. If the heat gets to be too much for me, my fall back plan is to go back to wearing the 30 lb weight vest and speed walk the trails.
 
6/19/2014
Another 3.25 miles down. Speed is still slow at 3.1 mph. Temp 91 degrees. Managed to make the whole circuit on 13 swallows of water. It's a pain to have to carry a water bottle on the trail, but it beats getting heat stroke!
 
It's been tough getting used to the Texas heat. The heat's really been kicked up a notch since the end of May. I thought it was bad when the temps were in the high 80's. Oh how I long for those days. My walking partner calls me the shade hunter. He's much more tolerant of the heat. He can walk in full sun for the whole 3.25 miles, while I zigzag on the trail - going from one patch of shade to the next. I think I may actually be walking farther than him, but he carries the GPS, so I have to go by his distance and time. Doesn't matter to me though, just completing the whole trail every day is a win.
 
06/18/2014
Man is it hot! The Texas Summer heat is just getting its stride and things are baking in the park. I'm up to 3.25 miles each day/ 3.1 mph while wearing a 30 lb vest. Fastest speed without the vest was 3.6 mph for 3.25 miles. Thinking it might be time to try the couch to 5k plan. Not really sure all this effort is worth the results. It's a vicious cycle - the more I get in shape the farther/faster I have to walk to burn the same amount of calories.
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10/02/2013
Hit a new personal best time at the park. 3.2 miles an hour, did 3 point something miles in about 53 minutes or something close to that, I've forgotten the exact time. :-) But at least I'm getting better, both in distance and being able to recover enough to walk at the same intensity day after day. It seems like only yesterday (actually it was Jan 2nd) that I started my walking program by taking the long way around the office to the bathroom. :-P Just goes to show that taking small steps can add up to bigger things later on.
 
7/11/2013
Well, I lost Gilligan, my pedometer. I named him Gilligan cause he was my "little buddy". Not sure where he ran off to. I left the house with him on my hip and at the end of the day, he was gone.

 
So now I have Gilligan the 2nd or Gilligan the Next Generation, depending on your point of view. Gilligan II is a little smarter, so hopefully he won't get lost. He keeps track not only of my steps and mileage, but takes into account my weight, lists calories burned, total steps, aerobic steps (meaning any walking continuously for 10 minutes or more) and tells me how long I've been aerobically walking . And he remembers everything from the past 6 days.

 
The good news is that I've graduated to a 2 mile trail in a local park. It has lots of ups and downs - and the occasional rabbit/armadillo/snake/Pimp butterfly on the trail to keep things entertaining. And I'm able to make the walk 6 to 7 days a week.
 
My 1st goal was to be able to complete the 2 miles every day 6 to 7 days a week. I have reached that goal as of July.
 
The next goal is to start increasing my speed. See if I can break the 45 minute mark for completing the trail. Current best speed is 46 minutes.
 
 
5/17/2013
Finally! Made over 10k steps a day for 6 days in a row. My original goal was to do it for 5 days in a row. Plus as an added NSV, I have graduated from walking on flat, level surfaces to walking in a parking garage. I do the 1st 5k steps in the morning on level ground, but at lunch, I step it up (no pun intended) by going out to a 3 story parking garage. Having to walk up those inclines between floors add a whole new level to the phrase "pain in the butt!" :-P
 
I was walking next to a coworker yesterday and she said, "I smell smoke." I said, "That's me. I'm not just hot, I'm SMOKIN!"
 
For those out there that have feet and knee pain like me, it pays to move, no matter how little. That's how I started out 5 months ago.
 
I could barely walk from the parking lot to the store without limping and being in a lot of pain. But I always parked at the far end of the lot and minced my way into the store. And I set a goal to walk the inside perimeter of my office every time I went to the bathroom or had to leave my desk. That was 4 to 10 laps a day.
 
When we move to a bigger office in Feb. I set a goal to make 4 laps a day around the office (approximately 1200 steps plus the 500 steps from the parking lot to my desk got me up to about 1700 steps a day).
 
When I got to the point where I could tolerate the 4 laps with no lasting pain, I added 4 laps at lunch. Then 5 in the morning and 5 at lunch till I could do 10 each time. That took several months to accomplish and I usually only could do that at most 3 days a week and be in pain for the other 2 days.
 
Now 10 laps twice a day is too easy, so I changed to going into the parking garage at lunch. The inclined ramps are easy on my ankles and ups my aerobic activity. Plus it gets me out in the sun - gotta have my Vitamin D!
 
That's how I did it. Little changes add up. Now I've got 2 ladies a work who SAY they want to start walking with me - but so far it's only been talk. :-)
 

This is from today, 5/17/2013. It's gonna break my heart to reset it in the morning!
 
 
2/19/2013
Just checked my pedometer when I got home and finally crossed the 10k steps goal or 4.5 miles in 1 day.
 
I usually on get in around 2.5 to 3 miles a day, but today I had a lot of extra walking at work and for the 2nd day this week I've been able to walk additional laps around the building at lunch.
 
Hopefully my feet and hips will allow me to maintain or surpass 10k a day from now on.
 
Update:3/28/2013
Still managing to get closer to my goal of 5 miles/day, 7 days a week. I'm averaging 4.5 miles/day 4 days a week. My hips no longer hurt, just some muscle soreness. And my feet are usually only a little painful after walking but the pain is almost gone the next day.
 
The people at work are starting to take notice of my walking before work and at lunch time. Commenting on my weight loss, that may sound encouraging, but I'd rather stay unnoticed and unremarked on. Noticing my weight loss and exercising will only lead to questions - ones I'd rather not answer.
 
I've had one or two people comment on how much they need to start walking with me, almost daily, but they never seem to find the time to do even one lap around the floor with me. I never made those type of comments when I'd see people working out, cause I knew that I wasn't going to make the effort. So why try to fool them and me? If I did, it would feel like I was apologizing for being fat and feeling guilty for not exercising.
 
I didn't feel like any kind of exercise plan was going to do me any good. I was too far gone. As Ralphie May said, "This is way past a diet coke fix."
 
 
3/4/2013
I'm still walking 3 - 4 miles per day, 5 days a week, but getting past 10k steps a day is tough. My feet and hips are pretty sore the day after doing that many steps and it limits me reaching 10k more than 2 or 3 times a week. But I keep working at it. As long as I'm walking every day, I'm getting closer to my goal.

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step. What they don't tell you is that the journey is a b*tch if you're on step 1!
 
1/14/2015
Well it's been a few months since I last walked. November to be exact. With the cold weather and injuries and sinus drainage, I was pretty much out of commission. We were at it hard during September and October, hitting new highs on speed, sometimes going as fast as 3.9 mph for 3 miles.
 
But November, my partner hurt his ankle and was out for 3 weeks, then I got terrible sinus headaches from breathing the smoke from neighbors burning piles of leaves and then the cold rain set in. So here it is, the middle of January and we haven't walked a mile per day. Fortunately, I've actually lost weight in that time and kept it off. My new job keeps me moving quite a bit.
 
8/26/2014
Wish there was more the report, but it's still HOT in Texas. Most days the temp is around 91 with a heat index of 101 when I walk. I've had to start wearing a water soaked towel around my neck and a hat while I walk to complete 3 miles. I've come close to heat exhaustion a few times and had to head over to the water faucet and soak my head till the dizziness clears. I thought I'd have built up a tolerance to the heat by now, but doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Good news is, the worst of the heat is over, once we hit September temps will slooooooowly creep down to the low 90's every evening. And by October, we'll be back in the 80's. I can't wait to see how fast I can do 4 miles when the temps are down in the 80's. Hopefully, I'll break the 15 minute mile. :-)
 
7/30/2014
I know I keep saying this, but OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! The good news is that today was a cloudy day and I managed 4.25 miles @ 3.6 mph. I should be up and above 4 mph by the time cool weather rolls in during October.
 
The heat is still in the 94 - 95 degree range with a heat index of 101 - 104. And as Madge said on the Palmolive dish-washing detergent, "You're soaking in it." :-P I'm still walking 5 days a week and hugging every inch of shade I can find! But I had to cut back to 3 miles, down from 4. I was just getting too dizzy and sick - even with using a water soaked towel to keep cool and carrying a water bottle. Monday, I had to stop at 2.5 miles and go soak my head under a water faucet. I hit a point and knew I had better get cooled off or something bad was about to happen.
 


 
7/24/2014
OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS!
For the past week it's been between 91 and 94 degrees with a heat index of 101 - 104... during the evenings... when I'm walking! I've had to begin carrying a wet towel and carry a water bottle to prevent dehydration and heat exhaustion. But aside from that, I've managed to walk between 3 and 4 miles in about an hour, averaging 3.5 - 3.7 mph. And haven't missed a day this week. But you gotta believe it when I say I was looking for ANY excuse to skip walking after work. But alas, the weather has been clear during the evenings and all the rain has managed to miss my exercise hour. I wonder how much it would cost me to have a crop duster fly up and seed some clouds just around the time I supposed to start walking????
 
7/04/2014
Another 3 miles (including 1 mile in total of jogging in short stretches) in the record book. It still amazes me when I think back to just 18 months ago when I would go to bed wondering how much it would hurt to walk from the car to my desk at work.
 
The Texas heat is a monster and I was really dreading walking (I mean baking) in 94 degree heat with a heat index of 101. That was yesterday! But I got rained out at the last minute. :-) ****Does happy dance**** I know, I know, I should be like those workout gurus and tell you how much I missed not going out there and sweating my ass off. But I gotta be honest and say I will take any "HONEST" excuse to duck out on walking in this heat. When I say "HONEST EXCUSE" I mean just that.... a real, "believable", reason (rain, when my car had a flat 2 weeks ago, or I feel like I've been pushing myself to the point of injury or sickness). Skipping a walk just because I don't feel like it is not enough.
 
So this morning the I had planned to walk with a friend at Claiborne Park just north of Vidor, TX. We normally do 3.25 miles and I've been increasing the distance I've been jogging. But the radar shows rain headed right for us in the next hour or so. So we cancelled it.
 
Instead I ran around my neighborhood. One lap around my block is approx. 1/2 mile. 2 long sides and 2 short sides. In 70 degree weather, I managed to run 12 of the short sides for a total of 1 miles....And the amazing part was I could have done more! So we'll see how much more tomorrow when I'm back out at Claiborne.

 
 
6/29/2014
Can't believe how well my attempts to jog are working out. Averaged 3.5 mph for 3.25 miles today. I walk a figure 8 style track and managed to jog the 4 straightaways all three laps. My next goal is to jog 1 mile non-stop. Shooting to reach that goal by the end of July. If the heat gets to be too much for me, my fall back plan is to go back to wearing the 30 lb weight vest and speed walk the trails.
 
6/19/2014
Another 3.25 miles down. Speed is still slow at 3.1 mph. Temp 91 degrees. Managed to make the whole circuit on 13 swallows of water. It's a pain to have to carry a water bottle on the trail, but it beats getting heat stroke!
 
It's been tough getting used to the Texas heat. The heat's really been kicked up a notch since the end of May. I thought it was bad when the temps were in the high 80's. Oh how I long for those days. My walking partner calls me the shade hunter. He's much more tolerant of the heat. He can walk in full sun for the whole 3.25 miles, while I zigzag on the trail - going from one patch of shade to the next. I think I may actually be walking farther than him, but he carries the GPS, so I have to go by his distance and time. Doesn't matter to me though, just completing the whole trail every day is a win.
 
06/18/2014
Man is it hot! The Texas Summer heat is just getting its stride and things are baking in the park. I'm up to 3.25 miles each day/ 3.1 mph while wearing a 30 lb vest. Fastest speed without the vest was 3.6 mph for 3.25 miles. Thinking it might be time to try the couch to 5k plan. Not really sure all this effort is worth the results. It's a vicious cycle - the more I get in shape the farther/faster I have to walk to burn the same amount of calories.
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10/02/2013
Hit a new personal best time at the park. 3.2 miles an hour, did 3 point something miles in about 53 minutes or something close to that, I've forgotten the exact time. :-) But at least I'm getting better, both in distance and being able to recover enough to walk at the same intensity day after day. It seems like only yesterday (actually it was Jan 2nd) that I started my walking program by taking the long way around the office to the bathroom. :-P Just goes to show that taking small steps can add up to bigger things later on.
 
7/11/2013
Well, I lost Gilligan, my pedometer. I named him Gilligan cause he was my "little buddy". Not sure where he ran off to. I left the house with him on my hip and at the end of the day, he was gone.

 
So now I have Gilligan the 2nd or Gilligan the Next Generation, depending on your point of view. Gilligan II is a little smarter, so hopefully he won't get lost. He keeps track not only of my steps and mileage, but takes into account my weight, lists calories burned, total steps, aerobic steps (meaning any walking continuously for 10 minutes or more) and tells me how long I've been aerobically walking . And he remembers everything from the past 6 days.

 
The good news is that I've graduated to a 2 mile trail in a local park. It has lots of ups and downs - and the occasional rabbit/armadillo/snake/Pimp butterfly on the trail to keep things entertaining. And I'm able to make the walk 6 to 7 days a week.
 
My 1st goal was to be able to complete the 2 miles every day 6 to 7 days a week. I have reached that goal as of July.
 
The next goal is to start increasing my speed. See if I can break the 45 minute mark for completing the trail. Current best speed is 46 minutes.
 
 
5/17/2013
Finally! Made over 10k steps a day for 6 days in a row. My original goal was to do it for 5 days in a row. Plus as an added NSV, I have graduated from walking on flat, level surfaces to walking in a parking garage. I do the 1st 5k steps in the morning on level ground, but at lunch, I step it up (no pun intended) by going out to a 3 story parking garage. Having to walk up those inclines between floors add a whole new level to the phrase "pain in the butt!" :-P
 
I was walking next to a coworker yesterday and she said, "I smell smoke." I said, "That's me. I'm not just hot, I'm SMOKIN!"
 
For those out there that have feet and knee pain like me, it pays to move, no matter how little. That's how I started out 5 months ago.
 
I could barely walk from the parking lot to the store without limping and being in a lot of pain. But I always parked at the far end of the lot and minced my way into the store. And I set a goal to walk the inside perimeter of my office every time I went to the bathroom or had to leave my desk. That was 4 to 10 laps a day.
 
When we move to a bigger office in Feb. I set a goal to make 4 laps a day around the office (approximately 1200 steps plus the 500 steps from the parking lot to my desk got me up to about 1700 steps a day).
 
When I got to the point where I could tolerate the 4 laps with no lasting pain, I added 4 laps at lunch. Then 5 in the morning and 5 at lunch till I could do 10 each time. That took several months to accomplish and I usually only could do that at most 3 days a week and be in pain for the other 2 days.
 
Now 10 laps twice a day is too easy, so I changed to going into the parking garage at lunch. The inclined ramps are easy on my ankles and ups my aerobic activity. Plus it gets me out in the sun - gotta have my Vitamin D!
 
That's how I did it. Little changes add up. Now I've got 2 ladies a work who SAY they want to start walking with me - but so far it's only been talk. :-)
 

This is from today, 5/17/2013. It's gonna break my heart to reset it in the morning!
 
 
2/19/2013
Just checked my pedometer when I got home and finally crossed the 10k steps goal or 4.5 miles in 1 day.
 
I usually on get in around 2.5 to 3 miles a day, but today I had a lot of extra walking at work and for the 2nd day this week I've been able to walk additional laps around the building at lunch.
 
Hopefully my feet and hips will allow me to maintain or surpass 10k a day from now on.
 
Update:3/28/2013
Still managing to get closer to my goal of 5 miles/day, 7 days a week. I'm averaging 4.5 miles/day 4 days a week. My hips no longer hurt, just some muscle soreness. And my feet are usually only a little painful after walking but the pain is almost gone the next day.
 
The people at work are starting to take notice of my walking before work and at lunch time. Commenting on my weight loss, that may sound encouraging, but I'd rather stay unnoticed and unremarked on. Noticing my weight loss and exercising will only lead to questions - ones I'd rather not answer.
 
I've had one or two people comment on how much they need to start walking with me, almost daily, but they never seem to find the time to do even one lap around the floor with me. I never made those type of comments when I'd see people working out, cause I knew that I wasn't going to make the effort. So why try to fool them and me? If I did, it would feel like I was apologizing for being fat and feeling guilty for not exercising.
 
I didn't feel like any kind of exercise plan was going to do me any good. I was too far gone. As Ralphie May said, "This is way past a diet coke fix."
 
 
3/4/2013
I'm still walking 3 - 4 miles per day, 5 days a week, but getting past 10k steps a day is tough. My feet and hips are pretty sore the day after doing that many steps and it limits me reaching 10k more than 2 or 3 times a week. But I keep working at it. As long as I'm walking every day, I'm getting closer to my goal.

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:
 
1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first.
2. Don't F with another man's food.
 
Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.
 
But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.
 
It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.
 
The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,
 
"Please do not eat me."
"P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle
 
Pure genius!
 
Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?

We've all seen them, all those women's magazines clogging the checkout counters. With titles like, "How to find His Pleasure Spot," "10 New Tricks to Keep Your Man," "Good Girls Bend at the Waist, Bad Girls Bend at the Knees." Now I'm all for women boning up on how to please their man. But where is the equal treatment for men's magazines?
 
If those same headlines were in a man's magazine, the thing would be shamefully hidden, deep behind the counter in liquor stores, with a piece of cardboard blocking the cover, lest some young innocent soul gaze upon the image and be scarred for life.
 
And, GASP!, if you actually thought of buying one, you'd have to wear a disguise so your neighbors wouldn't know it was you. And you'd shamefully carry it home, wrapped in a brown paper bag or folded between the pages of a newspaper - stuffed under the car seat. So no one would know that you were about to abuse yourself in front of God and all your ancestors.
 
But stores proudly display women's porn right there on the end cap at the checkout counter. How did it become socially acceptable for women's porn magazines to be sold right next to the Tic Tacs and Juicy Fruit gum? Is it because because the target audience is women?
 
Another inequality, I saw a commercial for the micro vibrator sold by Trojan. The women in the commercial sit around in circles talking about how wonderful it is, and even grandma chimes in and happily gets in on the action.
 
Can you imagine the public reaction if it was 3 guys sitting in a circle (I know where you're headed - 3 guys in a circle, just don't go there!) expounding on the joys of the Fleshlight? It would be an outrage. The Christian Right would flood the airwaves with indigent protests of how shameful the commercial was and how we're all going to burn in Hell for it. But because it's women talking about masturbation, somehow it's acceptable.
 
And finally it hits me! The marketing! If the men's magazines just worded the headlines on the magazine covers differently, their magazines could be sitting right there next to Cosmo and the Tic Tacs! And the best part is, women would be happily buying the magazines for their boyfriends and husbands.
 
Just imagine if the latest edition of "Spread'em" changed the headlines from "Brandy's Naughty Adventure," to "Brandy's Illustrated Guide to Pleasing Your Woman!" or "Brandy Shows You 10 Ways to Make Your Woman Scream in Bed (No! Not by calling her by the wrong name.)" Women would rush to the stands to buy their man the latest issue. It's all in the marketing.
 
Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve!

So when did everyone have their 1st drink? Be honest ppl

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.
 
I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!
 
Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.
 
It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.
 
This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.
 
That's where Guinness comes in.
 
I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.
 
I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.
 
P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.
 
They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(
 
P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????

I did not expect this. in learning to eat differently for my post sleeve life, i have evidently decreased my intake even more than i expected and have lost some weight. big deal, everyone here can lose weight, however today when i went hiking in the wilds of northern minnesota my gymn shorts kept slipping down. WTF? I have not had that happen to me in years and i was much lighter then. Perhaps the elastic has worn down, but it felt good anyway. I am heading to my surgery with a full head of steam, aiming to make the most of it right from the start.
ten days to go.
My daughter is getting married tomorrow and there are all sorts of people here, family people. the same ones that I tend to eat over. but so far i still have little interest in food. very strange, very welcome. We fly back on Sunday and i can get into the security of my routine until surgery.
I have told a few chosen people and they have all been highly supportive. perhaps I need to expand my inclusion list.

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.
 
I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!
 
Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.
 
It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.
 
This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.
 
That's where Guinness comes in.
 
I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.
 
I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.
 
P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.
 
They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(
 
P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!
 
Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.
 
I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.
 
Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).
 
But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.
 

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!
 
Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.
 
I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.
 
Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).
 
But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.
 

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”