joatsaint

I took an aerobics class today. I shook my booty, twisted, gyrated, and jumped up and down for 30 minutes… then, I stood triumphantly in a pool of sweat. Finally! I got the zipper closed on my shorts! :-P

I was all, "I SWEAR I'll BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND! YOU HEAR ME?!?" and she was like, "Sir, your straw is in the bag."

I was just wondering how skinny I’d be if I had to pedal to keep the computer on?

I was working to quit my all my bad habits, but then I realized... no one likes a quitter!

I'm about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart. :-)

I'm not lazy, I have highly developed leisure skills.

I'm so outta shape that when my gym gave me my pre-workout evaluation. The first machine they recommended I start on was the respirator.

I've got a dirty mind today! http://goo.gl/3b8qO

I've reached the aget that my brain has switched from, "I probably shouldn't say that" to "What the hell, let's see what happens."

I’m definitely not the person you want to put on speaker phone.

I’m opening a gym called, “Resolutions.” It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then turn into a bar for the rest of the year!

I’m really over this whole working for a living thing.

If heat makes things expand…I don’t have a weight problem…I’m just HOT.

If walking is so good for your health, why isn't the postman immortal?

If you ever start feeling bad about you life, think about the people that use selfies as their screensaver. :-P

If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes…we are racing.

Infomercials claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming a product grants wishes when combined with a leprechaun.

Is it just me or am I the only one that gets into bed and then realizes I gotta pee! And then wonders if it's worth it just to pee the bed rather than get up. :-P

Is it just me or do you also have a "People I can't stand" list?

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them - unfortunately, the police call it indecent exposure.

It WILL hurt It WILL take time It WILL require dedication. It WILL require will-power. You WILL need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You WILL need to push your body to it's max. There WILL be temptation. But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it's WORTH IT.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

Just posted - Shrinkage! - How Big's Your Meat?

Just posted a new blog entry. http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/blog/2115/entry-5950-constipation-and-milk-of-magnesia-or-how-fema-declared-my-bathroom-a-national-disaster/ Please read and leave a comment. Trying to improve my writing skills.

Just put up some ways to explain away my scars. :-)