rebeccarawks

The first time I ever put myself on a diet was when I was in the 7th grade. I never mentioned it to anyone, not even my mom or sister. Not even my close friends. At that moment began a long love affair with yo-yo dieting. I was able to maintain a weight within 10-15 pounds of my ideal weight which was about 97 pounds for my height of 4'11". My body seemed most comfortable at about 135 by the time I hit high school. I was always fairly active which helped immensely with weight maintenance.

I got married when I was 19 to a man who could eat whatever he wanted and never gain an ounce and boy did he love to eat! I started putting on weight and was at about 165 when we got married. He seemed to really love my curves and softness. He always acted like I was the most beautiful girl in the world which wasn't really doing me any favors to be honest.

I put on more weight with each of my children. I delivered my first child weighing about 202 and wasn't able to lose the weight before getting pregnant again with my second child and delivering at 205. I plummeted into a bit of a depression and my weight crept up to 223 at my highest and I joined weight watchers. I knew I needed help. I fairly painlessly lost 26 pounds and then the struggle began to continue to lose. I lost an additional 20 pounds with the help of phentermine which was in abundant supply back in the late 90's and into 2000 or so. I managed to get back down into the 160's but when I stopped taking the phentermine my weight started coming back on.

I discovered Atkins about this time and I have yo-yo'd with low/no carb for many years now. I got down to 139 and even had a tummy tuck because I just knew I was never going to gain the weight back now that I had lost it by eliminating nearly all carbs from my diet. I did maintain for awhile within a few pounds until I had a surprise pregnancy with my fourth child (IUD). I delivered him at exactly 199.6 and it has been a battle ever since.

I don't know what it is about me personally that makes this so hard. I don't want the focus of my life to constantly be my weight for the rest of my life. I want to focus on more important things... like my children and my career. I want to be like the other moms I see who just live their lives and aren't always worried about their weight. I am confidant that the lap band is going to give me that edge and be that reminder tool that I need to assist me in keeping off the weight once I lose it.

I am an active person and I greatly enjoy rollerblading, playing tennis, and working out in the gym. I love to lift weights. I am strong and I am confidant. I just need some help to turn my dreams of being a fit mom into a reality.