SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

Good morning....
 
Day six found me feeling fine physically. I drove. I grocery shopped. I took the kids to McDonald's.
 
Being in the kitchen is hard for me. I have children that must be fed. While preparing plates of burgers and chips for my two youngest kids, I dropped a chip on the counter. I reflectively reached down and popped it in my mouth. Of course I immediately spit it out. However, the incident left me wondering.....
 
This morning I woke with an epiphany!
 
What I am going through each day post-surgery is the major reason that patients must go through "training" for surgery. All of the nutrition training was to help with the actual - in your face - reality that I cannot, under any condition, pop chips or anything else in my mouth without thinking. Nutrition training was to help train my mind to tune out the billions of food commercials as I watch TV during my recovery. Nutrition training was giving me a foundation or a home base to turn to when I feel that I must have something to eat or I will die. Nutrition training was to give me something to think about and cling to when my mind is going crazy and I panic because today's stress cannot be fixed by food.
 
Had I not had the time before surgery hearing about and thinking about what I must do after surgery, I would be a big fat failure. I would have been one of the people who cheats themselves by eating what shouldn't be eaten and stretched my stomach right back out to hold my dear and faithful friend, Food. I am not one of those and refuse to succumb to the overwhelming temptation to do so. I will hold on to my goal and let my goal be my friend. (My goal is to be healthy and active.)
 
I will survive. I am woman. Hear me roar! (You have to be over 50 to get this.)

I forgot to do a blog last month. Oops. I find I frequent the WLS and Sleeve groups on facebook much more frequently than here. And of course MFP. Libb3C there if you would like to add me! I have logged for like 745 days?
 
 
SW 242 Height 4'11''
6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6)
Surgery date 8/8/11 213.4
 
1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2)
2 months - 180 (- 14.2)
3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8)
4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8)
5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8)
6 months - 162.4 (-4.8)
7 months - 155.4 (-7)
8 months - 149.6 (-5.8)
9 months - 143.4 (-6.2)
10 months - 139 (-4.4)
11 months - 132.6 (-6.4)
12 months - 126.8 (-5.8)
13 months - 121.4 (-5.4) Made goal! Normal BMI!
14 months - 118 (-3.4)
15 months - 116.2 (-1.8)
16 months - 114.8 (-1.4)
17 months - 112.6 (-2.2)
18 months - 114.6 (+2)
19 months - 109 (-5.6)
20 months - 108 (-1)
21 months - 107.2 (-.8)
22 months - 107.4 (+.2)
**Please note: my normal BMI range is 99-124 at 4'11''**

As my surgery approaches, I am thinking more about the future without fat restrictions.
 
I look forward to......
 
Sitting in church and being able to cross my legs
 
Getting into the floor and getting back up without crawling to the couch
 
Leaving the steering wheel down when I get out of the car
 
Leaning over and picking something up without cutting off my oxygen supply
 
shopping in a regular store
 
Getting on the scale at the doctor and not turning my head
 
Walking more than a block without panting
 
Having more energy
 
Less medication
 
Getting up in a crowded room and not worrying about being able to squeeze between chairs or people
 
Cutting my toenails while breathing
 
 
How about you, my friends?

I hope this will be the last part...lol
Me: Really, u cant know who this is. Him: Yes, I do I dont giving my # 2 all kinds of women Me: Y me? Him: I dont kno, I was just lead 2. Me: um hum, game Him: no, seriously..I was walking by & I saw u, I thought she's beautiful but u looked so sad & I said 2 myself I would really like 2 make her day, so I did. Me: yea ok. So we talked for what seemed like hrs. Time flew by & it was time 2 go get my son, so I packed up my baby, got in the truck, picked up my son all while on the phone with HIM. I couldnt believe that I was talking 2 another man but his accent intrigued me & I just wanted 2 know more & more. Well, once I got home Josh was sitting on the couch in his usual spot, he asked me where I had been all day..I told him at my mom's & he said so u just dont give a damn if I dont have a way 2 get around or nothing 2 eat? I said no its not like that but in my head I was think hell no I dont care, I had reached my boiling point with him. We started a routine, as soon as I got in the house with the kids he would grab the keys from me & be gone until 2-3 in the morning, in my heart I knew we were done. While he was doing his dirt as he had been for 7yrs, I was developing a friendship with the "kroger's dude"...lol It wasnt about anything but convo, we would talk about my marriage, our kids, his baby moma & just life period. He was awesome, he was actually concerned about me & who I was, he would tell me if I ever needed 2 tlk I could call him, he would tell me how unhealthy my situation was..he never judged me for sticking around so long...he was my friend. One night, Josh called me & said that he wasnt coming home until the next day because of whatever reason he was giving, I was like ok um hum thats fine..I didnt put up a fight & ask 1000 ?'s like I normally would. My focus was changing. He said, whats wrong with u & I said nothing just used 2 ur lies & drama. He said, whatever bye. So after we hung up, I called HIM & he asked how I was doing, the usual stuff & this time I told him exactly how I felt, my marriage was over & I deserve better for me & my boys ect. He said, yea u do but u have 2 make sure that this is wht u want & ur not acting off of anger, I said, Im done. Josh came home the next morning, i grabbed the keys & left with the boys, dropped me oldest at school & this time I went 2 visit HIM. When I got there, I sat in the car for what seemed like hrs before I called 2 tell him I was outside, because I went back & forth in my head about, Im doing the same thing Josh done 2 me & so what he gets what he deserves. Finally, I called HIM & told him I was there, he came outside..we tlked for hrs, I had the baby with me & he asked could he hold him, I said yes & my baby was content in his arms. It was weird but he was. On the way 2 my son's school, I felt bad like I was taking it 2 far, Josh is my husband, what about my kids, everything was going thru my head. Once, I got home as usual Josh was out the door but he said, " I know u tlking 2 another man but u not bold enough 2 do nothing else." I looked at him & all that doubt/fear in my head went away & I was sure about my next move. The next morning Josh came home, I left & once again I went 2 see HIM...that also became apart of the routine before I knew it, we had spent a whole 30 days 2gether & it was wonderful. One saturday I came home, I handed the keys 2 Josh & he said, "im not going anywhere 2day, so lets tlk." I said, about wht? He said," the man u tlking 2" I said, I dont know what ur tlking about" He said, I see how rushed u are 2 leave every morning, how u give me the keys at night with no hesitation, how u hide ur phone now, how u smiling when u get a txt message, u in love with him?" I said, I dont know wht ur tlking about", he got up & he punched me in my stomach, he slapped me, he cursed me out, he pushed me on the floor all while the kids were right there watching, he told me 2 call him & tell him it was over or he would kill me & the boys. So because I feared what he might do, I called HIM & told him it was over & I was going 2 work it out with my husband..HE said,"Wow ok if thats what u got 2 do" then he hung up. I was crying but it was because, I felt like I was going 2 loose my best friend forever. Josh took my phone, he deleted HIS #, messages anything that came from HIM. That night I told Josh EVRYTHING, I told him that I didnt need him & he was I was worth more than what he thought, I even said, "u aint the only man that wants me"...I told him how I loved HIM..how he cared about me & didnt judge me, how he made me feel needed & wanted at the same time, how he held my hand for hrs & just listened 2 me...I know yall thinkin that was crazy because Josh was abusive but I didnt care, all those yrs that he made me feel unloved, unworthy, guilty, ugly, fat, like nobody wanted me but him, like I wasnt good enough for real love..I had 2 tell him why & I was ready for the fight that came with it...I didnt care. The rest of that night was queit, after I put the boys 2 bed & got in the bed..he came in the room & sat in a chair by the foot of the bed. I tired 2 stay awake becuase I didnt know what he was going 2 do but I couldnt & I actually slept the best I ever had in yrs...its crazy because he sat there watching me ALL night crying. Can u believe that he was crying, as if he had never done anything 2 push me 2 this, as if I hurt him, as if he was faithful all those yrs while I cheated, as if all those feeliings I felt he now feels...2 be honest with yall I hoped he felt the way I did for the past 7yrs. 3 days later, we had an eviction letter on the door..he left that morning then he called me around 11 saying he got a place...I said,"ok when can we move in"..he said, "I guess u didnt hear me, I got a place". I said, "what about the boys?" he said, "oh yall will find something soon." I know that we having problems but how could he turn his back on his son's & not care if they had a place 2 live? Although, I found out over the yrs who this man was, it still amazed me that he was done with his son's too. I called HIM as soon as Josh hung up & I explained 2 him what happened & y I called him 2 tell him it was over. He said, " u hurt me, I have feelings for u that I never felt for anybody else, I didnt kno if he hurt yall or what, I called ur phone, u didnt answer, I txted & no response, I cant believe that u hurt me"...I started 2 cry & tell him how sorry I was & that I had all of those same feelings for him, he told me 2 come see him but I couldnt go with the bruises on my arms & neck, so I said no..he told me that he needed 2 see me. So all that night I put ice on me, creams anything that would lighten up those marks..I didnt own any make up, so I couldnt use that. The next morning, I got up took my son 2 school & I went 2 see HIM. As soon as he seen me he started 2 cry which was so odd 2 me but he said, "I thought that I would never see u again, & then 2 see u with these bruises from him hurting u, & I was not there 2 protect u" then he grabbed me & hugged me, he wouldnt let go..he went 2 the back seat where the baby was & he got him out & held him so tight. This man must really love us, but I had no idea about what real love was so I didnt say anything, I didnt kno what 2 say. On March 26, 2009 I was moving out of that old apt 2 my sisters house until I could get things in order. While I was in the house, Josh came over...I didnt know he was coming, I didnt even know how he got there. He said he was coming 2 get the rest of his things, so I let him & I didnt say a word 2 him. When I was in the bathroom, getting things from under te cabinet..he came in & locked the door, he started choking me..he punched me & then he rapped me! All I could hear was my kids scratching & crying at the door..the worst part was I was on my cycle. He didnt care, when he was done he told me that I was still his wife & whenever he wanted me he could have me no matter where I'm at, then he left. I was disgusted & I didnt know what 2 do...I was confused & lost, he was crazy but I didnt know how crazy until then. I got 2 my sisters house, I moved all of my stuff in, within a few days I found a job, me & HIM were getting much closer..finally things were starting 2 look up in my life. Me & the boys were happy & safe. Josh called me one day & asked me could I help him get his lights back on because he was in the dark with no food. Keep in mind he didnt want me 2 know where he was staying, that same place he got & wouldnt let my boys come 2, I told him dont ever call me again, I know who u are & it took me a long time 2 get here but I'm here & I aint turning around. Over the next 7 months he called me EVERYDAY, asking can we fix our marriage & saying how he will never hurt me again ect. I told him no & I kept living my life. I am now in my own place, & have been for the last 4yrs...I havent broken NO lease, I am at a full time GOOD job, my lights have never been off, my kids are in a Private Christian Academy,me & HIM are 2gether, Im getting sleeved June 3rd., we are planning 2 buy a house next year...life is GOOD. Josh, has 5 kids with 4 different mothers, has a girlfriend that has miscarried 2 times, 2 babies 5 days apart by the same girl mentioned in part 3 Keisha & Keturah, he is currently cheating on his girlfriend with those same girls. He has had his clothes burned, been put in jail for assault of 1 of them, no car, no job & no contact with his kids, he doesnt call, help out NOTHING. I tlked 2 his girlfriend the other day & she stood out there while he was in jail, tlking 2 me about why he was in there BUT what stood out the most is that she defended him & said how she loved him so much & at that moment I saw what I looked like after all those yrs. & I told her I feel sorry for u...oh yea, I know u didnt read anything about a divorce but thats because for the last 4 yrs he wouldnt sign the papers because he said when he's done doing all this he is coming back 2 his family. Anyway, we will be in court getting divorced June 26th rather he shows up or not! It tookn alot 2 get 2 this point but I lived thru all of that for whatever reason & it was sad, it was hard, it hurt ect but WE MADE IT & thats all that matters. I needed 2 get this out before I started my NEW life, I didnt want 2 take this with me in the O.R. when I started this process I still carried this burden but 2day, I leave it all behind! (HIM :wub: )
(my babies )

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!! ( Picking up mic) I want to take moment and thank God.... LOL!!! No seriously THANK YOU GOD ALMIGHTY!!! I was so worried about complications, infections, leaks and most of all FAILING!! To be at this point right now in my journey, I can safely say I DID IT!!!! I have been the same weight for the past six weeks or so. Going up and down two pounds. But strangely enough I don't care. The scale doesn't bother me. I am content with the way I feel, the way I look and life and general.
 
I WAS OFFERED A NEW POSITION AT WORK AND I AM LOOKING INTO GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
 
Life is great and amazing and I am living again....
 
next goal: A BABY
 
PS. 1st Pic: on the left was taken Dec 2011. Picture on the right was taken 5/24/13
2nd Pic: Left was taken hours post surgery. Right was taken 5/25/13

I've bought all the shakes, chew-able vitamins, liquid vitamins, have gone for blood work, upper g.i. testing and started my prep diet without getting any final confirmation until this morning that next Friday at 10:30 I'm scheduled for my surgery. I keep thinking this isn't real. Part of me is scared to give up all of the foods and addictive behaviors that have gotten me to this point but another part of me is thinking this is a rebirth, a chance to learn how to do it all over again and do it right. I think the best advise I've gotten so far is my nutritionalist who tells me that I'm leaving an abusive relationship, one I have always given excuses to, have always forgiven only to be mistreated by it (she's deep).
 
All I know is I feel like a hypocrite trying to help my daughter when I can't help myself. I guess I don't have a choice, I want to be the best mom that I can be and I need to teach her what healthy is, what being strong is, and who I really am which isn't the person who always stands in the back of the pictures if I get in it at all, or the person who only wears black pants not because it's slimming but because color may draw more attention to me.

I'm going to lay out some thoughts I've been having. My intent is not to minimize the experience of anyone else, but simply to offer my own thoughts and beliefs. I know this journey is different for all of us, but I am always saddened when I see a post about how a pre-op person can't wait to "be skinny" or "look hot" or "feel good about myself again". Skinny does not equal happy. Skinny does not equal hot. Skinny does not equal feeling good about ourselves. There are just as many skinny people who are unhappy, unattractive, and down on themselves as fat people. Happiness, feeling attractive, and feeling good about oneself are characteristics generated from within, not without.
 
A few years ago, at a very low point in my life, happiness seemed to me like a foreign concept. I could not remember the last time I had felt genuinely joyous or happy about anything. Intellectually, I knew that there were many things in my life that were desirable. I had a good job, a comfortable house, a dependable car, some money in the bank, food in the fridge, etc. But despite these things, I was unhappy. Now, I had good reasons to be unhappy, or so I thought. My marriage was failing, I was coming to grips with the fact that I would never be a mother, I wanted desperately to change my life but felt completely stuck, and so on. I remember reading somewhere that happy is a verb...it's an action, not a passive condition. I began to wonder...if I truly felt that there was no spark of happiness or joy in my life, who's fault was that? Who was responsible for my happiness? The answer, of course, is me. I was failing myself. I was not loving myself, or being kind to myself.
 
I decided that if happy was an action, I was going to try and exercise my happy muscle. I was going to try and find one thing to feel happy about for a few minutes every day. My goal was 3-5 minutes a day of active happiness. I thought that would be super easy. After all, I had been able to identify good things in my life, so how hard could it be to think about them for a couple of minutes every day? Well, it was actually harder than I expected, but I stuck with it. I had to set a timer in the beginning, but I made myself do it every single day. Gradually, I noticed it got easier. Some days all I could come up with was something like the weather, or the fact that my bills were paid on time, but damn it...if that was all I had, then I was damn well going to focus on it & feel happy for 3 freakin' minutes.
 
I eventually began to notice that I felt happier overall. I'm not sure why, because by this time I was just divorced and trying to figure out dating at 270 lbs & maintaining my new house, etc, but regardless, I felt happier. After meeting the man who has become my 2nd husband, he said that one of the things that attracted him to me was that I always seemed happy. I'm not saying that this is somehow a magic bullet against bad stuff happening, but holding happiness in my mind for a few minutes every day helps me to deal with the inevitable downs of life. It seems to me that consciously taking time to feel happy each day has somehow made a state of happiness more accessible in my brain.
 
It's been almost 7 years since I began my happiness quest, and I can honestly say I feel happier today than I ever have in my life. To quote Charlotte in the Sex and The City movie, "I feel happy every day. Not all day every day, but every day I feel happy." In choosing to have the sleeve, I absolutely do not expect it to make me happy, because I'm already happy. I feel pretty good about myself today, this minute, at 300+ lbs. Yes, there are things I want to do, but I can't right now. Yes, I have pain every day & difficulty walking, but I still feel good about who I am and what I have to offer in my small corner of the world. I am aware that I am probably judged negatively by some people because of my weight, but I don't even really notice that. Today, I find it so much easier to find things in my life that make me genuinely happy. I am definitely looking forward to weighing less and seeing an improvement in my mobility, but I don't think it will make me somehow better or more acceptable or a more worthy person. I am enough, right now, just as I am. We all are, and we are all so very precious. Today, right now, at this very moment, we are beautiful, and we are valuable, and we are enough. I believe that with all my heart, and I hope you do, too.

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.
 
I'm 5' 7".
 
Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8
Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2
Chest 46 1/8 44
Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2
Waist 46 45 1/2
Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8
Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4
Bicep-R 16 15 1/4
Forearm-L 12 11 1/2
Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8
Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4
Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4
Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8
Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8
Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8
Calf-R 18 17 5/8
Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4
Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8
 
I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.
 
 

Greetings from my hospital bed:
I am absolutely flabbergasted at how good I feel, already! Didn't sleep much more than an hour last night and arrived at 5:00 am to the pre surgical unit. I distracted myself with a book for some of the waiting time, and ended up not needing any anti-anxiety medication other than what was already in the plan. Yay me!
 
I woke up in the recovery room with a sore, dry throat and had already been given a pretty awesome painkiller by IV (some kind of pump). I am on a strict day of nothing by mouth and will be administered the leak test tomorrow morning. After that it will be clear liquids as tolerated for a couple of days.
 
The doctor said everything went well in the surgery so I am one Happy Cat! My husband has been an angel and helped me to the bathroom twice and took my arm for two short walks in the corridor. Other than a little dizziness and minimal nausea, I am truly blessed to be feeling great at the end of the first day of the rest of my life
 
I hope my sleeve sisters and brothers out there had the same experience, but I know that another phase will start tomorrow and am praying for the best!
 
Good night all and sleep tight xxx

I was feeling crappy earlier today but after a little nap I felt pretty good. Guess I just didn’t get enough sleep. The fam had pulled pork sandwiches with veggies and then homemade strawberry shortcake… I had one of my shakes, a little pork (without a bun) and veggies, and a nibble of the shortbread just to taste, and I was totally satisfied and not even tempted to eat more. I literally ate 1/2 of what I would have normally eaten if not less. Amazing. And me and the fam just went on a night time walk, over 3 miles, and I even RAN… for like, a second. But still.
Feeling good and prepared for life after surgery!!

I want each of you to know that you are my heroes. The more I read about each of you, the more I admire you.
 
My prayer for you all this week is for courage, self confidence, energy, hope, and love. Where ever you are on your journey, I applaud you. Pat yourself on the back. You are a great person.
 
As you look in the mirror each day this week, say out loud, "I am someone's hero."
 
Whether you take one step at a time or many steps at once, you will get there. Looking back is only for learning, not dwelling on.
 
Judy

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?
 
It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?
 
Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.
 
Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.
 
The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).
 
So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.
 
Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.
 
This is the hardest work I've ever loved!