Reputation from beanie80

beanie80 reacted to Kime-lou for a blog entry, A New Attitude..... August 1, 2013

Work has been crazy lately, life has been crazy. I am busier than ever, but I am doing pretty well. There are times when I get down and out, but for the most part I feel stronger than I was 5 years ago.

This past weekend I went out of town, up to Ohio to visit my MIL. I realized on this trip, going through airports, going to new places, walking down crowed streets, taking city buses, that I am not nearly as self concious as I once was. What a great feeling to walk down the street or into places and hold my head up. Going into resturants and ordering, I don't feel self concious about my order. I just don't worry nearly as much about what people think of my outside. I lived life from 6 years old until 32 now always worried about how people view my outside.

When getting back to work this week, another big thing happend. In years past I would never stand up for myself- I was meek and quiet especially in confrontation. I HATE confrontation. Due to my job I often have confrontations with parents who want me to bend rules or plan out break them for their child. I hated it when I got in confrontations with co-workers. Well, my secretary screwed up majorly while I was out of town. I decided that I was not going to be the one to call the families and apologize for the problems. I took the forms back to her, told her what was wrong and to contact the families. She went off, she yelled, was very rude. In times past I would have hung my head and walked away. This time I looked her in the eye and told her she needed to calm down, that yelling at me because she screwed up was not acceptable and I would not take that. She cried left work, came back the next day and acted as if nothing happend. I stood up for me!!! What a great feeling.

I am becoming more outgoing and confident in myself and my skin. I have never know what that was like. It's a glorious feeling. I realize that my no means am I a tiny girl. I wear a size 12/14 comfortably. I feel normal- like a typical person, not shamoo on legs.

I feel like at 32 almost 33 years old I am finally coming into myself and it's all because I made the choice to get the band and use it. I so wish everyone who has ever felt meek and awkward due to their weight could feel like I do right now. It is liberating. I makes me want to go out and when I see a large person tell them you don't have to live like that anymore. There is hope, there is help- you just have to use it to choose it.

So this morning despite my feelings of not having lost enough, I am doing the happy dance and being thankful for how my life has changed due to my band.

beanie80 got a reaction from DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! for a blog entry, Progression July 20, 2013

Had 2 big things happen today. First, I was able to get back to the gym for spin class for the first time since surgery and second, I saw my nutritionist.
Getting back to spin class was a big deal for me. Pre-surgery I worked out 4-5 times a week. Spin class was at least twice a week, and something I really love. I have been missing it for a while. I went to class like normal, but toned it down a bit. I'm normally really pushing myself to go faster and harder each time, but today I took it kind of easy. I'm sure that doesn't sound like a big deal to most people, but it is very hard for me to 'take it easy' with anything. My port got a bit sore mid class, but it was fine. It was so good to be back in the saddle!
I had an early morning appointment with my nutritionist today. She is nice, but it drives me a bit crazy that she looks like she has never weighed over 110lbs. She does know what she is doing though, and is very good at her job.
As many of you know I've been posting about not losing weight recently. I've been pretty frustrated and unable to determine what I am doing wrong. Well, I was told today that I'm not getting enough carbs! That is a first. I guess getting enough protein has been drilled into my head so hard that I kind of forgot to get carbs. She also told me I should be keeping my calories between 800-1100 and not eating my exercise calories. She printed up an example menu for me and I'm going to try to follow it the next two weeks and see what happens. I have my first fill on August 1st and I feel like I already need it. I ate 1000 calories today waaayyy to easily.....

beanie80 got a reaction from DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! for a blog entry, Progression July 20, 2013

Had 2 big things happen today. First, I was able to get back to the gym for spin class for the first time since surgery and second, I saw my nutritionist.
Getting back to spin class was a big deal for me. Pre-surgery I worked out 4-5 times a week. Spin class was at least twice a week, and something I really love. I have been missing it for a while. I went to class like normal, but toned it down a bit. I'm normally really pushing myself to go faster and harder each time, but today I took it kind of easy. I'm sure that doesn't sound like a big deal to most people, but it is very hard for me to 'take it easy' with anything. My port got a bit sore mid class, but it was fine. It was so good to be back in the saddle!
I had an early morning appointment with my nutritionist today. She is nice, but it drives me a bit crazy that she looks like she has never weighed over 110lbs. She does know what she is doing though, and is very good at her job.
As many of you know I've been posting about not losing weight recently. I've been pretty frustrated and unable to determine what I am doing wrong. Well, I was told today that I'm not getting enough carbs! That is a first. I guess getting enough protein has been drilled into my head so hard that I kind of forgot to get carbs. She also told me I should be keeping my calories between 800-1100 and not eating my exercise calories. She printed up an example menu for me and I'm going to try to follow it the next two weeks and see what happens. I have my first fill on August 1st and I feel like I already need it. I ate 1000 calories today waaayyy to easily.....

beanie80 got a reaction from Joy332 for a blog entry, One step forward, two steps back July 3, 2013

I had a pretty rough night last night and a rough morning this morning. I haven't been able to sleep well the past two nights due to pain and I don't even know what. I will sleep for maybe 4 hours and then wake up, wide awake for no reason or wake up with port pain. I took my dog for a 20 minute slow walk yesterday, ran some errands in the car and I think I just overdid it. It felt good to be out and about, but yesterday evening and this morning I was paying for it. I Have spent the day today with my bottle of lortab, dog, and a good book.

Had my first post-op appointment with my surgeon this morning. He said everything looks good. My port was not damaged and it did not flip due to my coughing spell, so that was great news. I still can't go back to seeing patients ft until next week, and I'm a little bummed by that. I'm mentally ready to be back at work, but physically just can't do it yet. I'll go back and see my surgeon in 4 weeks for a check-up and my first fill.

On a happier note, I found a delicious low fat/low calorie organic soup called Pacific Cream of Tomato! It has 100 calories, 2 grams of fat and 5 grams of protein in 1 cup. I had it for both lunch and dinner today. I was able to get in 68g of protein so far today, which I think is a personal best since surgery.

beanie80 got a reaction from cindya for a blog entry, 4,4,4 before I hit the OR floor June 22, 2013

4 more days! I'm going to share 4 things I have done in the past week....

4. Had my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. She said I would do fine and that I have a big mouth for easy intubation haha
3. I went to two spin classes, walked 3 miles every day I wasn't at the gym and even started running a bit
2. Took my dog to the vet because he has e.coli. If you know what that is then you will know that my week also consisted of cleaning up gross dog poop accidents in the house.
1. Practiced living the lap band lifestyle since my surgery is 4 days away!!

beanie80 got a reaction from cindya for a blog entry, 4,4,4 before I hit the OR floor June 22, 2013

4 more days! I'm going to share 4 things I have done in the past week....

4. Had my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. She said I would do fine and that I have a big mouth for easy intubation haha
3. I went to two spin classes, walked 3 miles every day I wasn't at the gym and even started running a bit
2. Took my dog to the vet because he has e.coli. If you know what that is then you will know that my week also consisted of cleaning up gross dog poop accidents in the house.
1. Practiced living the lap band lifestyle since my surgery is 4 days away!!

beanie80 got a reaction from cindya for a blog entry, 4,4,4 before I hit the OR floor June 22, 2013

4 more days! I'm going to share 4 things I have done in the past week....

4. Had my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. She said I would do fine and that I have a big mouth for easy intubation haha
3. I went to two spin classes, walked 3 miles every day I wasn't at the gym and even started running a bit
2. Took my dog to the vet because he has e.coli. If you know what that is then you will know that my week also consisted of cleaning up gross dog poop accidents in the house.
1. Practiced living the lap band lifestyle since my surgery is 4 days away!!

beanie80 got a reaction from LessLee for a blog entry, Lucky number 7! June 20, 2013

7 more days to go! Today I am going to list 7 things I like about myself currently, pre-banding:

7. I have great hair
6. I am loyal
5. I am kind
4. I always assume the best of others
3. I am helpful
2. I am smart
1. I love to learn

beanie80 got a reaction from LessLee for a blog entry, Lucky number 7! June 20, 2013

7 more days to go! Today I am going to list 7 things I like about myself currently, pre-banding:

7. I have great hair
6. I am loyal
5. I am kind
4. I always assume the best of others
3. I am helpful
2. I am smart
1. I love to learn

beanie80 got a reaction from dylanmiles23 for a blog entry, 9! June 18, 2013

9 more days! In honor of this milestone I thought I would give y'all a list of 9 things I'm excited about post banded weight loss life. I'm excited about...

9. Not feeling squished on the airplane
8. Not being embarrassed of my big arse when squeezing between rows of chairs
7. Not avoiding going to the beach with my friends
6. Not being embarrassed when out shopping with friends
5. Not being scared to ride my bike in public! (see last blog post for explanation)
4. Not deleting any and all pictures of me
3. Not feeling like people are judging/watching me when I eat
2. Not having to cover my arms because they are as big as some girl's thighs
1. Not having men yell "I like your jiggle" when I run!

beanie80 got a reaction from LessLee for a blog entry, 8 8 8 8 June 19, 2013

Yup, you guessed it, 8 more days! In honor of this enormous achievement I've put together a little list of 8 post band goals/dreams

8. Lose weight!
7. Feel good about myself again
6. Cholesterol levels in the normal range
5. Do a 'real' push-up
4. Run for 3 miles without stopping
3. Wear shorts
2. Start dating again
1. Wear a bikini!