lisacaron

I'm 90% sure she knew I'm sure she did know. She also doesn't care. It's not her problem he's married and she's got her sight set on him. She may not even "want" him, but is just one of those people who always wants what they can't have and are willing to destroy anything on their way to getting it only to discard it once they have it. The big key here is to find out why your husband feels that he needs to turn to someone else, and to see if you can mend the communication and lack of trust that has come from this. As you said this is not the first time, but it is time to get to the root of it. As for this woman, leave her out of it. She only has as much influence on you and your husband as you and he allow her to. Using her name or any other person who he texts name is only giving them more power to push you further apart. Find out what's wrong between you and your husband that is your main objective.

My morning are a bit tighter and so I try to keep to something that while soft enough to not get stuck still requires chewing and has some substance to it. Most of the time it's a Protein bar. This is also a good way to up your protein consumption as many of them have from 10-20 grams of protein in them. This is my "go to" if I am in a rush, or if I am not going to be eating for a long stretch of time. I try to always keep one in my pocket book in case I find myself out and hungry so my choice is not coming from a vending machine or a fast food joint. Whole fresh foods are always better, but this is a good choice in a pinch. As far as the level of Fluid in your band, I would have the doctor check things out for you. Either with a barium swallow, or fluoroscopic to see where you band is and the rate of digestion through the stoma. I have read here that many people have thought they had a certain number of CC's in their band only to find that was not the case. So if your feeling your not at an optimum band level, speak to your doctor and ask to have it checked out.

Great advice! So very very important to get up and walk and to keep walking even when you get home. Thank you for posting this!

The truth is that yes you will have some energy loss in the very beginning of your journey. While you are on the 2 week liquid diet before and perhaps after surgery. You will feel a bit tired and drag a little as your body detoxes from the "junk" foods and starts to adapt to eating high Protein and quality food. After surgery we are all tired for a bit, we just had major surgery. Once you heal up and your body has adjusted your going to feel amazing and have so much more energy provided you keep your nutrition up and follow your doctors recommended nutrition plan including any Vitamins they may tell you to take. Over all your going to feel better once you lose some pounds.

I understand, don't fret though. I find when I am in those situations, I will order appetizers and not a full dinner this way they can't see how much is left on my plate, and if there are extra appetizers I can say hey these are great so and so would you like one? I do that when we are at big events as well, if they are not sit down dinners and if they are I just move things around the plate and/or ask for a container to put half in. Waite staff never questions, and I always give them a "special" tip at the end of the event.

Your a sweetie! Congrats on your surgery and take care during the healing phase. Soon enough you'll be up and running around

Thank you for this. It was what I really needed to read today. I have been noticing there are a few holes in my approach and I love the thought of raising the fences. I spend so much time doing things for others and I often forget to tend to my own backyard!! I'm going to survey things today and make sure to correct and adjust properly!

I'm glad you are taking the time to go to therapy. It is never easy to take a step back and away from what is going on, but it will help you to get some perspective if you can. Take some time to be with yourself for a bit. Some quiet time and ask yourself what YOU really want from your relationship and your life as well. What are some of the things that are not working for you, and for you as one part of a couple. If you can be a bit objective in your answers and give yourself some specific references to those things it will help you. While your doing this try to steer clear of blame and anger. Examine it as if you were examining a friends relationship or one from some reality TV show. Do it from an outside point of view. Then you might be able to see what some of the issues in the relationship are and work on them in therapy. Usually when a partner stray's outside of the primary relationship it's because they are seeking to find something they are not getting from the primary relationship or they are trying to get away from something that is hurting them in the primary relationship. This does not put blame on your or him, the point is to try and find the root cause of the disconnection between you. I have been down this road before and I can honestly tell you that there were two sides to the "cheating" in my first marriage and the truth was that I was relived he strayed outside of the marriage because it gave me a good reason to end it once and for all. We had been together for 20 years 3 kids, we "grew up" together well I grew up and he didn't but our "marriage" was over long before we were divorced. Growing up in a strong Italian family...we don't leave our husbands. We stick it out we do it for the kids..we do it for all the wrong reasons. I watched many unhappy relationships in my family for years and I did not want to be one. The cheating and the betrayal is hard to cope with, but in the end I realized I had a hand in that too. I pushed for it, because it was the only way I could be free. Today I am happily re-married to a man I met after my ex and I separated and we have a healthy, loving relationship where we are on the same level and take the time to check in with each other to communicate everyday. Best of luck to you, it might be hard in the beginning but anything worth fighting for is never easy. No matter where you find yourself just be true to yourself and to your heart and you will be happy.

Let us know how you are doing after you see the doctor and what his prognosis is. Did you need any fluid removed from your band?

Wait and speak to your doctor at your post op visit to see when it's OK to get back into a "work out" routine. I waited for 6 weeks and 8 before lifting anything heavy. Your mission right now it to heal. Even though your feeling awesome I did too right after surgery. Inside your body is healing and adjusting to a new apparatus that is not part of your biology. Walking and moving around is excellent, keep doing that and soon enough you will be sweating it out in the gym. If you feel you want to up the amount of space you can move in try going to an indoor mall or around an office or school building. I know when I can't get to the gym I'll grab a co-worker throw on some sneakers and walk around the building for a couple of miles. 5 times around our main floor is one mile so we do that a few times walk up and down the stairs from the concourse to the third floor and sometimes I think that's a better work out then spending an hour in the gym. (I think I count it as an hour and it take me 30 min to dress undress shower and redress so the gym time is really only 30 minutes on a good day Good luck and keep feeling great!

LOL I hear ya there. I think lots of times it's spell check that changes the then to than it must like it better than then.

You are pre-op? So you haven't had your surgery yet...and you are having a gastric by-pass? You are on the lapband board, and I think what members are replying with is good information but they are also post op and banded. If you are satisfied eating small amounts of food now, and you have not had your surgery yet that's great! Maybe reach out to your doctor and let them know how your feeling and what's going on for you. Best of luck with your upcoming surgery.

It's very strange but you guys are 100% right I feel better and I sleep better when I move my body more! I know it's all those feel good hormones that get released and I love it! It is bright and sunny in NY today, but it is BONE chillingly cold. The stranger thing is that the sun is perking me up and making me feel good like I wanna run around, it will have to be inside but hey I'm ready to lace up those hot pink sneakers and GO!

Yes yes and yes. Once you hit the green zone it is a little easier but I can truthfully tell you that it has taken me 9 months to get here. My doc is conservative with fills and I have not minded that in the least bit. It has given me time to learn and understand and make changes to my food choices or diet. Yes I said the word diet because that's what it is we are on a diet each and every single day with every bite of food we eat. CC you are doing awesome and your on target with what you wrote. Everyone goes through a period of learning and growth until it clicks and they find what works for them.

Ditto!!! You look awesome!!!

Got my 10,000 steps in today and did about 10 flights of stairs. Good day:)

Not only that but also newbies and people just starting their research on the band is going to get the impression that all they have to do is have this magical belt strapped around their stomach and hundred or so pounds will just fall off and in my opinion that is just bad news... I agree with what you guys have written here. I am working with my band everyday. It has helped me in ways I never understood that I needed help before, which is why diets never worked for me, but there is hard work involved in changing your life. I wish that it was so simple to have the band placed and poof 40 years of bad habits fall by the wayside, but that takes some learning and focus of thought to make good choices not to mention some umph to get up and move the body that has been sitting on it's laurels for far too long. I'm embracing my new life and making it work for me.

lynn, many doctors are still performing plication surgery as part of the lapband surgery and independently by itself. The plication surgery in the US has been in "study" phase and at this point the data is being reconciled for FDA approval, so this could be why the doctor you found has stopped doing them, he may have all the data he needed and is now waiting on the next phase before moving ahead. I would give them a call, and inquire just to see what you learn and if there are any other doctors in the area who might still be working with the plication.

Congratulations! Having this surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself and I have no regrets. As the others have said there is always someone here to support another.

When people say it's all in your head they are being truthful!! It's not just that it's a "mind" thing it's a brain thing. food is medicine and many of us have been self medicating with food for many many years for many different reasons and ailments. Suddenly we shift everything, and we stop eating sugar, and we stop eating so many carbs and we increase our Protein and we start moving our bodies more and the body's physiological reaction to this is WTF just happened to us?! Your brain is looking for all the hormones and chemical compounds it's so used to having and now those things are not there. So it sends out some signals to you to say hey what happened to that particular element? Be it sugar or salt or even fatty greasy foods. They all break down to chemicals that react to the Proteins and hormones in our bodies. The feelings of those cravings gets even stronger when the "ailment" that you would use those foods to medicate is also present. For example maybe you are over stressed about something today or emotional about something where you would normally have a cookie or 4 now you are not. Your body ups the calling for sugar and you are suddenly craving sweets at what feels like an uncontrollable level. That's what head hunger REALLY is. When your craving it's your body calling for something it's missing...and maybe it's a good thing for your body that it's missing all that sugar or all that sodium, but until your body and your brain get used to doing without those amounts you get those urges and cravings. That is another reason why you should eat something when hungry and substitute your craving with something that is healthier. Having 2 or 3 crackers will give the body enough sugar and carb to be satisfied and tune down the sugar craving and it's better then a bag of M&M's or a cookie and far fewer in calories. As we learn to work with our band, we are better able to make those choices and choose the more nutritious foods our body wants and needs over the items that amount to zero nutrition. It is by no means easy, but trust that as you move forward it does become easier and soon you'll be craving proteins and vegetables and fruits.

I love reading your story you are one inspiring woman and you help me keep my sanity with the hubby believe me! So glad we met my friend!!

Actually some are doing more touting my surgery is better then yours and here's why.... then they are explaining why they think or feel the Gov. is or is not doing well.

Excellent article. Those little licks and bites of things can really add up. Even the cream you put in your coffee over the course of day can add up in calories consumed and stem your weight loss. I'm being more mindful now to see where those things are adding up, and where I can add a little bit more movement to tip the scales literally in my favor.

You can discuss what you think and feel and your experience good or bad. Your right that's what the forum is all about. What is not needed is bashing one or another. Your experience is valid it's yours. I am grateful there are many diverse options out there for us whether we get to choose or not choose which one at least there is one. There was a time WLS did not exist. So for the good bad and ugly of it I say Hooray! Besides the post was about Gov. Christie, and his surgery and outcome this far. 100 pound loss is great and he is still going as are we all.

Hi Jean, This is a topic I think of often and question I pose to myself at least once a day. Like most women I'm doing it all, and I don't mind it most days though my body some days would beg to differ on the matter. If I could be Wonder Woman or even the Bionic Woman with an oil can that would be great! I love doing things, with and for people. Sometimes it can be overwhelming but most of the time I just love being able to help and participate. There was a time in my life, where I was not very happy. I had what every woman might think they wanted, I had a home, family, children, I didn't have to work if I chose not to...but I was not happy. Though many of the things in my life were by my own choices and actions I wasn't able to understand that and until I was able to understand it I wasn't I able to make the changes that I needed to make. I spent so many years doing what "others" thought was right or proper. What "everyone" did to fit in or be accepted and well....WHY? When I was finally honest with myself and sat down and asked myself what it was I wanted, and if I wanted it, truly wanted it why was I letting anything get in my way of having it? I don't have to be what "others" think I need to be, I just need to be me. Authentically me. Now it's true I may not be the easiest person to take all the time it's an acquired taste I think, but I am me. Take it or leave it and I won't hold it against you. In 2011 my hubby took me to Hawaii for my 40th birthday, and you know what I didn't care I went snorkeling...and those that didn't like it or had comments to make and were brave enough to say them out loud, (none where) I would have just told them Hawaii is known for Whale sightings get over it. I was happy, even if I was busting out of that bathing suit and huffing and puffing my way up the beach! I sat at the pool side I went swimming at the resort and soaked in the hot tub. When the alarms went off on the Island I ran around and Tsumami shopped in my bathing suit too! I always like to be prepared food Water and cash are important in an emergency!! I love my body. Big, small, round, fat, thin it is the vehicle that gets me where I want to go. I had WLS because it was starting to fail me and I am not read to go. I want to live!!! I want travel and enjoy life as long as I can! So it was time to to take action and give the ole gal a tune up, as I plan on taking it everywhere I can peddle to the metal!!!