lisacaron

@ let me commend you for coming here and posting your story. There are many people on the site who are like yourself, they are prepping for surgery and hoping to change their lives and they are too scared to reach out. You have taken a very big step in reaching out to your bariatric family here and sharing your feelings. You don't have to worry about being that guy here because we are all that guy and that gal here. We are all here for each other and to support and help each other along the way. Each of our stories and journeys are very different. We may each experience similar things along the road but we are all going to relate and experience them differently. Reading one persons journey can help another person who might have fear of something like for instance yours with dumping and it may help them to the point that they never experience it, or they may be able to relate to another who is also experiencing a similar issue. My husband and I found ourselves in similar situation a few years ago. My hubs was facing a total hip replacement and he was so overweight the doctor told him right to his face I won't touch you, there is a bariatric surgeon in the building make an appointment with him and lose the weight! My husband was devastated and mortified that he was that obese that this doctor had the gall to say something like that to him. It was a wake up call, a big slap in the face kind of wake up call. At 46 he was over 300 pounds and 5'6". Of course I myself was overweight and together eating and sneaking "snacks" together at night was our shared habit. That same day after we left that orthopedic surgeon's office we made an appointment to see a bariatric doctor together and we scheduled our surgery dates and did our pre-op diets together. We had surgery 3 days apart. We are both lapband patients, and I have to tell you that even though all of that is similar and sounds awesome...his journey is his and mine is mine. We experience it differently. He does not have the issues I do and I don't have his. We work together on our mindset and eating habits and sometimes it works in sync and other times it doesn't. I will say this, he is 2 years post hip replacement and feeling about 15 years younger!!! So I know you can do this and your going to be so happy that you did!! Your wife might just join you in trying to lose some weight as she sees you working on your goals and if she doesn't...that's OK too. We each get there in our own time. I wish you all the best of luck and know that you can come here for support any time you need it

@@happybuddy my advice would be to go and see your OB/GYN. Primary Dr. is great but what it sounds like right now is that your hormones are in a big flux. You want to check that out and make sure you aren't experiancing PCOS (Poly cystic overian syndrome) This can be the cause of your body holding on to the weight as well as Water weight gain. Our hormones and not just the thyroid are what make our body and our brain work to keep a balance. If any of these are out of balance they send signals to the brain that we might not want them to send and trust me I speak from personal experience here. Even though you see the OB/GYN the sex hormones may or may not be your issue. They are probably the issue with the periods but more than likely there are multifaceted issues going on at once as your body is undergoing major changes to the way you are eating etc. Keep the faith, you will get where you want to be. In the mean time be healthy and keep doing what you need to do for you. Try not to focus on the scale number and let it get you down. It's just a number, focus on how you are feeling and work from there to get your body in motion. Prozac can make you hungry and can also cause some weight retention, however if you have been on it for a bit and your dose sounds low it's probably not the issue. My step son is on this medication and it has worked wonders for him, don't stop any medications without checking with your doctors.

@@JustWatchMe the only person who has to be happy about the way you look is YOU my friend. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that is so true. So gaze into that looking glass and see the beauty smiling back at you!! Smiles are contagious...so keep smiling and pass it along, before long I bet someone tells you what a beautiful smile you have to your face and they don't need to know why...just because your beautiful!!!

@@Green1 did you see your Dr. and they told you that you have an ulcer? If you are having symptoms of an ulcer you should definitely give the Dr. a call and schedule an appointment and possible upper GI to confirm there is an ulcer. Over the counter antacids like Zantac or Pepsid are great for occasional acid relief however if you do have an ulcer there are other medications that the Dr. can prescribe that will give better relief and healing. I take a protonix daily, along with Probiotics to help avoid digestive issues and flare ups. Protonix is prescribed by my bariatric surgeon. Probiotics I get at CVS and take them daily for digestive aid. If your open to it Aloe juice is another very helpful way to sooth and heal ulcerated stomach. It's kind of nasty tasting sort of like drinking from a rubber hose but it does help much more than milk. You can pick that up at most food stores. Before trying all these things I would check with the Dr. and have your band checked to be sure it's not too tight and causing the extra acid and any kind of reflux.

@@cherie122 I would give your surgeon's office a call and let them know of your concerns. Find out how they put the port in and if it is sewn to the muscle or not. Often times during surgery the abdominal cavity is filled with gas to move organs up and away while the band and tubing is placed. As the gas dissipates and the abdominal cavity returns to normal it may feel as though things have moved when they really have just settled back into place. Also as you begin to lose the fat around your abdominal area things will shift, so keep in contact with your Dr.'s office and have them continue to monitor where things are, and how things are going for you. It's not uncommon for ports to have some minor issues like flipping on the side etc but it is defiantly worth the call and a visit if necessary to the Dr. Let us know what they say and congrats on being banded!!

@@lamulatona the changes from band to sleeve are a bit of work. First the band has to be removed along with any scar tissue, and all of that needs to heal prior to being sleeved. If you have the band already, might I ask why you would want to change surgeries if your not having any issues with your band? Often times the reason for switching from band to another surgery is because of complications from the initial surgery. Sometimes there are band slips, sometimes there can be esophagus dilation and sometimes there are holes in tubing or port issues. Most of these if you are compliant with your band eating mechanics can be avoided, tubing and/or ports can be replaced. Switching from one WLS modality to another may initially help you lose weight, but if you don't change your mindset about food and your behaviors around eating no weight loss surgery tool is going to be helpful. What I love about the band is that I am able to learn and grow with it at my pace. I am able to work on my food issues and other health issues without having to struggle to do them from day one. With the sleeve and/or bypass you are initially restricted and your going to lose weight quickly and then after a few months to a year, if your habits have not changed you will begin to regain that lost weight. I have lost weight with my band, and even through some very serious medical issues of my own I have not gained any of the weight I lost back, and as I able to refocus on weight loss I continue to lose at a steady pace. There is no magic bullet to losing weight. We all want it gone yesterday but we didn't gain it all in the blink of an eye and it's going to take some time and effort to change ourselves to fit into the new slimmer version of who we want to become.

@@lamulatona welcome!! You will find there are quite a few of NY© bandsters about!! Hope to see you at one of our Face to face meet up's in the city soon!

@@ErinMarie how much fill do you have in your band right now? I would start by taking a breath. You just had a baby my friend and congratulations on that! Being a new parent (even if this is not your first child) is an awesome task and breast feeding is demanding. I can understand why you may be having an issue with proper band eating mechanics. That said however, you really want to be sure that you are not hurting yourself by getting stuck to often. So the first thing I would want to do is to take some time if you are able to check on your band. To make sure that things are all sitting right and working well. Once you have done that, give yourself a few days of liquid diet to help "reset" things, and give your stomach a chance to heal. If you have gotten stuck even just once, your stomach could be swollen and the space in your stoma could be smaller than you think it is and this could be another reason you are getting stuck more often. Before taking that step to switch to Protein drinks for a few days, consult with a lactation specialist and get their advice. As well as the advice of your pediatrician to be sure that your not feeding the baby anything that could cause an issue. After all a cranky baby is not going to make you feel great If all is well go on a liquid diet as you did pre-op and/or post op and supplement with some non fat greek yogurt, make some sugar free fat free pudding etc. Give your band a break and let it heal and reset, you will start losing weight and most importantly you will feel better. As for your hubby, it's nice to see that he is concerned for your health and well being. Show him that you are concerned for yourself and your family as well by taking the time to check in with your band Dr. and baby Dr. and take the next steps to make you both happy and healthy!! Let us know how it goes!

I have everyone at my office selling Cookies for their daughters. They look at you if you say no...but now I have come up with a fool proof way to nicely say no. I tell them I can only buy them if I see a girl scout in uniform come to the office with pen in hand to take my order. They don't want to bring their kids to the office and I don't want to buy their cookies! Sorry I was a girl scout...all the way through to cadet and you know my Mother and Father never sold my cookie quota for me. Nope I had to go out there and earn it. I know it's not the same today where you can go ring a door bell...but really these kids are so internet savvy...they can do it. Besides it gets me off the hook nicely and when the other co-workers bring in their boxes because they don't want to eat them all...I make sure that they put them in front of the "sellers" office and not mine. Do I sound terribly mean??

@@AmyR The transition from eating with the family and eating the way you always eat should be happening now even before banding. It's the mind set that you want to have yourself in. Your going to feed your family the things that they enjoy and you are going to take a new approach to your eating and your eating habits. The biggest part of that is going to be changing your eating behaviors. The first few months after banding are the time o really focus on that. For me pre-band I was on a liquid diet for about 3 weeks. That helped to set me up for what was to come. After banding I went from full liquid diet to mushy and then to soft and then to solid foods. Hunger is always a factor until you have your band set at the fill level where you are not feeling as hungry between meals. The band however is not going to change your eating habits or stop you from eating and/or overeating. It will restrict the amount of food you can eat at one time, and it will help you to feel not hungry between meals if you honor the signals your body is sending you. If you don't have good eating mechanics and learn good band eating behaviors your going to fall down that slippery slope. So my advice is to start now. Set your self up for success from now forward. Make your grocery lists with the food you need to get through the first early days of banding. When you start making meals for the family, you can eat them..just be sure your portions are band sized and that you are choosing the lean Proteins first before you even venture to vegetables, and if you are still needing something to a fruit. You want to steer clear of carbs and starchy vegies as much as possible making them your last choice of food. Eating healthy is all about portion control and food choice. So if your making a healthy favorite for your family you can enjoy it with them. Though I will tell you this...for me and for my hubby...we were not able to eat our meals with the family (we have older kids!) until we were well versed in our eating mechanics. If we sat with the kids we were sure to engage in some conversation sometimes that was frustrating and we would end up getting stuck on a food item because we weren't paying attention to making sure we cut a bit small enough or chewed up enough or took one too many fork fulls too fast. So for a while we ate alone, and even together we didn't talk just focused on eating. I hope some of that helps you and I wish you all the best as you start this journey!

So I had to put my 2 cents in here. I myself am a pretty confidant person. I have been thin, I have been fat, I have been super skinny and I have been morbidly obese at different times through out my life. I will tell you that at the time I was super skinny is about the only time I felt that people treated me differently, everyone was always trying to feed me or get me to eat more than I ate at a sitting. I know my value as a person, and therefore regardless of my physical size I refuse to be treated differently than I deserve to be. I am a tiny person, my height is just about 5'1". I might not be the "star" on the basket ball team but don't discount my skills people I think that people who treat others differently because of things like physical stature or appearance have an issue. It's them not me...and that's my 2 cents.

@@change4life let us know how things go once you see the Dr. Good news is that your ready to get back on track again and you have taken the first steps.

@@LVMSfireman He was pretty good about getting back into the gym. Once the abdominal muscles heal you are good to go. Take it easy the first few days out, building up to where you were in lifting and your all set. You will see soon after you start to heal that your energy levels are high and you will be feeling great and ready to get back to life full force. Just take it easy so you don't back slide and then need more down time. My husband has been through a few major surgeries over the years including total hip replacement and has been able to get back to work without any issues. He lost the weight so he could have the hip work done and he's feeling like he's 15 years younger. If you have any joint pain or stiffness, my suggestion is to join a gym that has a pool and start with the pool work to keep the impact off your joints as you lose weight things will change and you'll probably be running before you know it.

@@Debbie3sons love the color and the flower in your hair! Hope you had an awesome time!!

@@change4life you know I also have thought about this a whole lot! So I was banded in 2013. I have watched friends who are banded and even my husband lose almost all their extra weight while I have struggled. I've struggled with many things, health wise and yes I'm sure that is part of it....BUT I want to blame the band. I want to say this was not the surgery for me. I should have done X, Y, Z and that would have been better. I could go do those things still...I could opt to take the band out and have a revision surgery and I might lose the weight faster and I seriously thought about it as my hubby lost pound after pound and I was even starting to gain!! As I was thinking about it and weighing things out in my mind, I realized that I have not really "worked" on this band since I have been dealing with so many other things I put that on hold and started using food to console me again. I started turning to ice cream and sweets and eating anything I felt like! Of course I was going to start gaining weight again...so I thought about it and I realized that unless I am willing to change my ways and dig deep and find out what is making me give up so easily when I have a tool that can help me reach my goals...why am I not using it? Why am I looking for something else, there is no magic bullet all the surgeries are going to have their challenges and I have seen first hand people fail at all the other surgeries and gain back their weight and more because they never really changed their habits. So I decided that the band is for me. It's here I am here and we both need to show up and do our jobs! It's there waiting for me to use it, and I am here and I need to use it and respect it and most of all myself. I need to find other ways to console myself when things are good bad and even ugly. Food has to become what it's always been meant to be. A source of fuel to get this body through life to enjoy all the wonders the world has to offer that are not food related. I don't get all excited when I drive into the gas station and fuel up my car. The smell of the gas and look of the station aren't a turn on...nope the excitement comes in where that full tank of gas will take me to. The things I will see and experience along the journey. That's how I have to look at food, it's an intake of resources that will get me to the next great thing. It will help me get through my day of work, my interaction with people, energy to read a book and write this post, and that's all it's going to do for me. It's not my friend, it's not my love and making it my life is robbing me of having one. So that was my dollar's worth of free advice I hope it helps you...we are all on the same journey to live a happy and healthy life...we just have to shift our focus a bit when it comes to food.

@@salmon77 sadly too many of us are familiar with how you are feeling. Words bite and the emotional toll they take on us through out our lives is great. My mother was a heavy woman, I never knew her to be slim figured. She was always obsessed with her weight and eating. I was a very thin child, and I hated to eat. In fact Breakfast lunch and dinner times were often the worst times of the day for me. They always involved some kind of argument about me not wanting to eat or not finishing the food on my plate. All of these things and more created scars in my emotional psyche. My mother died when I was 26 years old from a brain tumor. I don't think she ever realized how damaged she was as a person when it related to her own sense of self esteem and self worth, and how she pushed her issues onto me. As I grew up those words and deeds stuck in my mind and in my head, and soon I was battling my own demons. I was the overweight mother calling her 10 year old son Super Chunk! Telling him he was fat and lazy and he needed to get up off his duff and move or he was going to be fat as a house! My middle son was overweight as young boy, but OMG did I just say those things to him and when did I turn into my mother?! Right there I caught myself and put a stop to that! If I had to be like my mother let me find the good things about her and not the negative ones. My children didn't need to have my issues revisited upon them. When I reflect on life, I can clearly see how I became overweight, how I became obese and why. I know we all blame our parents...but in this mine have some responsibility because they were never evolved enough to see that their issues weren't mine it was theirs. Thankfully I was able to break that cycle and while my older son's battle the bulge they do so in a healthy way. They are slightly overweight but they are not obese and when they find their pants are a bit snug they know they need to cut back on the overindulgence rein it in and get a bit more active. They keep a balance to life I still struggle to find with my own, but I do have peace of mind that my struggle is mine and I didn't whip them into obesity with it.

@@4shiggles it sounds to me like there was a bit of gossip going around the office. Someone saw some shakes and maybe felt comfortable enough to share that maybe you are on a similar journey. Your boss asking you, could have been just casual curiosity. Perhaps he/she is proud of you for making a choice to take care of your health and well being. Perhaps it's just more gossipy chatter, what ever the reason the fact that you felt ambushed is what's concerning. Of course you never have to lie to anyone, but you also have the right to be comfortable in your work place. So you could simply say, I'm not comfortable expanding on this and/or you could say I'm not at liberty to discuss personal issues with you. Something casual but professional to let the boss know that this is not a line of conversation you wish to partake in. Co-workers and bosses sometimes can and do blur the line of personal and private space. We spend so much time with each other on a daily basis that sometimes they take it for granted that they can ask such personal questions. If you are not comfortable with that, you can simply re-establish your boundaries and let them know how you are feeling without having to cave into their demands for information about you. It may not be an HR issue, just simply a back up 2 steps and take your nose out of my business on this matter type of issue. Good luck with everything!!

Are you saying that you feel as though you are failing and self sabotaging? What are some of the things you find going wrong?

@@JustWatchMe sending prayers and {{hugs}} your way!! @@jfc193 Man card remains intact!! Thank you for sharing, we all need a pick me up now and again.

@@LVMSfireman my husband is a Fire Fighter and instructor as well. He had the lapband in 2013, and was able to get back to work in under a month. He had several key hole incisions that needed full healing before he was able to return to work. Depending on the way your surgery is performed and what your Dr. advises you should be able to get back to work with out issue. In fact you will probably be feeling more energetic when you do get back to work! I wish you all the best!