lisacaron

60's would be heaven right about now. Woke up this morning and the windchill was -2. The sun is shining and bright so that definitely has my spirits up even though I am just about sitting on top of the space heater at work right now. Brrrrr, got the chills could be because I am still battling this infection. Yesterday was lots of fun...work work work through the snow storm and left work to find about 8 inches of snow covered my car!! I felt like a little kid flinging snow everywhere as I was cleaning it off last night. All my pals from work left early...or I would have started a snowball fight in the parking lot Feeling better, and eating much better. I know I could up the Water in take and I'll continue to work on that, and I hope to get to the gym this weekend and then plan to get in there next week as well. Getting back on track. B-Jimmy Dean Eggs/Sausage Bowl. L-Beef Stew D-Eggplant Rollatini S-Fudge Pop Today... B-chocolate shake L-Progresso Meatball chickarina Soup D- (not sure just yet....open to suggestions!!) S- Almonds/Walnut TGIF!!!

Hey you all ROCK!!! Awesome posts. Some were heart wrenching but reading through and seeing how you all rallied and kept going supporting each other just amazing! Sorry I haven't had a second to use the ladies room let alone get a post in. Work is crazy and my projects are all high profile and burning up right now. Just got home 8:00 pm. I am up most days at 5am so it's a very long day for me. I left work early yesterday (paid for it today). I went to the gastric doctor and had .5 mL taken out of the band because I am not feeling well and have that same issue with drainage. After seeing the gastric doctor I zoomed on over to the urgent care because my regular PCP could not see me because everyone is sick including me with a sinus infection and an ear infection! Now on the lovely antibiotic that is just about killing my stomach. So my eating has been much much better since I have no appetite at all. I am trying to stick to shakes during the day and forced to eat a meal at night so that I can take this antibiotic. Since the band is still in recovery mode I am sticking to soft and mushy foods. But making good choices last night was pulled pork smashed to smithereens and I have to say it was delicious. Tonight since it's late I am going to make somecanned wedding Soup have a cuppa tea and get some sleep. I'm sorry to say I haven't had any time or ambition to get to the gym or do any exercise at the moment. I do make sure to climb the stairs eight flights every day because the elevator at work is broken if that counts. Also If we get 8 to 10 inches of snow tomorrow I'll be getting plenty of exercise shoveling out my driveway and my car so I can get to work. Eating plan is to stay on plan during the day taking my medication trying to feel better and getting all my work done before the weekend. Now someone you could just write that formula that I need for this workbook I'd be all set????

I have decided I am going to head off to the Dr. today. my band is quite tight, and this nasal congestion is not helping me out any. I feel as though the stoma is blocked and it's causing some acid re-flux. Rather then suffer through it and hope that the congestion clears up I am going to have a small unfill and really baby the band over the next week. So far I am on target for my day...though I will not be headed to the office gym today since I am running out to the Dr. If I make it home before we experience too much snow I will head to LA fitness and get that work out in!! Don't wanna fall off the mark on my first day I know first things first though..and health has to come first.

@@KayWhit I read your post a few times...and what you have written is some cause for concern. If you have no Fluid in your band right now. I would defiantly have the upper GI done and/or Barium swallow to ensure that the band is still in the proper place. I have had some issues with my band akin to the ones you mention above, usually when I am actually experiencing a sinus or upper respiratory infection. Right now my band is SUPER tight, I have a head cold and I am feeling sick and nauseated. Mucus is plugging up my stoma and it's difficult to swallow and even drink Water right now so I am going for a small unfill rather then continue to try and ride it out. When I am like this I often feel left side breast under breast discomfort which I think has to do with the diaphragm since I'm sure that I have probably stretched the pouch by trying to eat and drink as normal (even to excess I will admit due to stress as well) and being sick. Follow up and let us know how your doing OK? I am headed to the Dr. this afternoon for a small unfill..hopefully to get home before the snow starts blowing!

Stayed the course last night and had a shake for dinner. The plan for today is to stick to liquids and up my Water intake. Hydration is not always at the forefront of my mind. I plan to do this at least for the next three days to give my band a rest. I have a cold and that is not helping it much. We are expecting more of that 4 letter word again today!! I am going to drag my fitness bag into the office and get at least 30 min of cardio in and some strength training. Happy Tuesday!!

Off the rails…. If you don’t know me, let me tell you a bit about me. I am a hyper organized, slightly obsessive perfection seeking mad woman. OK that all sounds really bad. In reality I’m just a person who strives to do 10001 things in the course of a day where the hours don’t quite add up to the tasks at hand. I will say 9 out of 10% of the time the balls I am juggling successfully meet their mark and as one leaves occasionally another pops in to take its place and that’s OK because I am one of those people who gets bored when things are too “easy”. All that said…lately life has been more of a challenge and when I hit the mark with one thing it seems there are 3-5 more things that need juggling. I’m battling and to be honest I can’t even catch my breath at this point. What the hell am I doing?!! Over the last few weeks I have been going through some very emotional events, and I am finding myself trying to really understand what the heck is going on. I don’t understand people for the most part, the things they do and say and why…? I often wonder if anyone stops to ask themselves why they are doing and saying the things they are. Ah well what does any of this have to do with Weight Loss and Weight Loss Surgery? Well for me…right now it has to do with the fact that I think I have had a head on collision and my car is now off the rail. My band is in there begging me to stop stop stop and you know I just want it to shut the hell up! I want to eat eat eat!!! I don’t care about losing weight! Why am I not losing weight I asked myself as I stepped on the scale this morning?! You don’t care about losing weight remember screamed my band as I tried to guzzle down my morning coffee only for it to come flying back out my nose. OK. OK. I take a breath, clean it up resume and pick up speed I have things to do dam it! My mind is reeling and I have to tell you I am utterly exhausted. Why….let me explain because if I don’t then I fear that I am not going to be able to do this. I have been reading, taking classes and studying a lot over the past few weeks about addiction. My son is an addict. His drug of choice is heroin. I have come to REALLY HATE this expression “drug of choice”. Makes me think of a Burger King where you can drive up and have it your way!! I am going through this trial by fire here because it’s about as painful as a 3rd degree burn, and I’m questioning where the hell this kid got this addictive behavior from when you know (this is where my collision happened)….I’m not as innocent here as I would like to believe I am. No I’m not nor have I ever been a drug addict or an alcoholic heck I don’t even smoke and never have, but my “drug of choice” is food. Yep, because no matter right now how much my band is cinching on me…my head is looking and calling and looking and craving FOOD. The more stress I give myself the more distractions I am throwing at myself to “hide” or sooth how I am feeling the tighter my band gets and the harder it is for me to eat and the more adapt my brain is at finding foods that are high in calorie and fat that just melt in your mouth!! Ha! HA! Band I beat you!!! What….wait….what was that??? Hold on. The only thing that’s winning here is my addiction to self-destructive behavior in the form of distractions, food, sugar, salt, and fat!! They know my name and where I live!! I am not hiding or as “busy” and invisible or unavailable as I keep trying to make myself. Nope…I have painted a big red target on myself and walked the chocolate expo begging the chocolate covered bacon to marry me! (Ok that was just a dream, I stayed away from the expo which was REAL so is chocolate covered bacon which I have never eaten, and I hope I never do because I might need a detox facility myself!!) Hold on a sec….What a great idea!!! Epiphany has struck…detox. Yes I need to detox. I need to get the sugar out of my system. I need to STOP all this. NOW not tomorrow not later, NOW. So yeah this a cry for help…I need to get back on track. It’s not going to be easy, because the reality of the situation is that all these things are still a big part of my life and they are not going to go away. However…I am going to take some time to reframe and refocus on why I am here. I am going to right now as a matter of fact going to start with my office and DUMP out the peppermint candy sugar balls I bought so I could eat them all freaking day and put them in the trash!! Then when I get home as much as I love Aunt Maria’s chocolate covered Popcorn I am going to get rid of it! I am going to detox tonight and skip “dinner” and have a Protein shake. I am going to give my band a “rest” I have really been taxing it lately and pushing it to its limits and mine. I am going to commit to working a post op liquid diet for a few days heavy on the Water and slowly ease back into mushy then solid foods. I am going to commit to getting my rear end to the gym that is costing me an arm and a leg and try giving it a thigh and some fat from my ass to chew on instead. I am bad at accountability…I’m reading all these posts about who is doing what…and I am like oh that’s awesome they are doing so great!!….delete. So here I am here’s my story…now it’s time kick my ass in gear and get it going!!!!! OK BP’s help me to kick some ass!!! Mine, yours, ours!!!

@@sleeveee that's great news!! I know you have been waiting to get your date so I am happy for you! I hear lots of great things about the sleeve and revision surgery, as @@CowgirlJane mentioned there are some threads you might want to check out as your getting ready for your surgery. Oh and yes what they said about the "newbie" part is all about how many posts you make so get to posting lady, we all wanna hear how great your doing!!

OK I know I am not dating...but I can tell you this. Both my husband and I are banded as you know... When we are out to eat or we are at an event, I can almost feel us "judging" each other and our choices of and amounts of food. Now my band is fickle, but so is my stomach and was even before I was banded. Eating out has never been an easy thing for me to navigate. There are certain things I know that I can manage and then there are somethings that might have made me sick before and don't now and vs/verse. I know my hubs looks at going out and not finishing the food as wasteful, so I watch him eat to capacity and I can see it in his face when he is full but there is always that drive to finish the food. There is also this idea that we can't share the food...or purchase one entree to share....but that would be less wasteful and less expensive. We have been banded nearly 2 years now and we still don't get this. When I am out at an event, my go to was always NOT to eat just in case I would get sick, and then after to go home and indulge. This little mind tickler is still there. I have to have a conversation with myself when I am out at an event that it is OK to actually eat what I want, and not have to worry about it because I rarely get sick these days. Sometimes I will run across a food that does not agree with me, but it's very rare and since I am not eating much of it, I never have to make a run for it. I also need to self talk about not going home after and feeling the need to indulge in more food since I didn't deprive myself. I know it's a little more self conscious of a feeling when you don't know the person you are with all that well. Your judging yourself, and wondering if they are judging you...but you know what I think it's important to just enjoy the moment. To be honest with yourself and the person you are with. If your not hungry you don't eat. You eat healthy and cautiously, and you enjoy the food that you choose to eat. I would be weary of not talking about it, lest people think you have an eating disorder. Of course you don't have to tell anyone it's a bariatric surgery at all ever if you choose not to. It's just your way of eating mindfully, for your health and well being end of story Then enjoy the wine and the company and the music or what ever you are doing. Sometimes I feel like I am so fixated on food...even more then I was before bariatric surgery.

I also am Reiki Master and Teacher of several forms of Reiki. My Master/Teaching is Usui Reiki as well as Lightarian Reiki. You can search them all on the internet. Here is a great link for research and exploration into Reiki history, healing and treatment. http://www.reiki.org/faq/whatisreiki.html I am not a Dr. or in the medical field, but I will tell you this whether you plan to work on patients or others or not practicing Reiki is a gift you give to yourself and those around you.

Thank you all for the awesome responses! I needed to read those @@enjoythetime I feel very much like Elsa right now let me tell you! I think out of all the Disney Princesses she is the one that is the closest to my personality!! Yes I can be the Snow Queen, but I do have a very warm heart!! Though I have to tell you I am NOT a fan of this cold and ice, so I can't say that the cold never bothered me it's driving me insane! Though with a nice warm coat and a scarf to cover my face I'm good How is everyone fairing in this miserable weather?

You guys are rocking!!! I am tired just reading through your posts!!! I really need to get my arse in gear! I haven't been to the gym in nearly 2.5 weeks due to some really stressful circumstances but I think I should get back to it, I'm inspired!!

Thought I would pop in today for a sanity check. I feel as though I have lost my sanity somewhere along the way these last few weeks....I don't think being crazy is as good as being ignorant especially since ignorance is bliss right? Remember how great it was when you were a kid and you just didn't "know" so you just did and learned? We didn't have stress we didn't have worry life was simple. I miss those days...and I feel the need to make a few days just that. Simple. Which is no easy feat let me tell you. I am still working out the logistics of how I am going to pull that one off...but I am starting in small increments. I read an article the other day about Intimacy without responsibility. OK ok NO it wasn't about sex ala 50 shades of Grey get your mind out of the gutter! It was about being in a relationship without having to take responsibility for the other persons actions/in action. It kind of had me thinking, because I am one of those people who always feel the need to take over, jump in and save the day. I do it nearly unconsciously sometimes I will admit even unsolicited I will stick my big nose in. I realize that sometimes people just want to be heard and validated and not necessarily "fixed". Then of course there are the abusers, those who can't make a move without being told what to, how to do it, when and where. I think that they are in need and really they are just manipulating me to get things done that they could do themselves and for themselves. They don't take the responsibility rather they choose someone they can blame and that person (me) now has double the angst from doing work that was intended for them to do in the first place and from the "reprimand" when it's not good enough or worse too good. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions right? I think I'm on the road (Call the fire house!)!! So how do you know when you are going too far? When you should allow another to fall so they can learn their own lessons? It's not an easy answer and I find that it's even more difficult when the people you have to let fall and get hurt are your children. However...at the expense of losing yourself...and all that you could do, might be doing if not for being occupied with someone else lessons...you have to let go. Yes that means scraped knees, bloody noses, broken bones and worse. (yes I am dealing with worse right now) and I realized that I have to let go. I have to firm up what I need and right now that is a little more simplicity in my life. That means taking the drama down and reclaiming my space. I realize it's not all going to happen over night but yesterday I made a big step. I had an awesome Valentines Day, my hubby truly spoils me and I love it love it love it. He makes up for all the disappointment I may have had in the past, and once I let that all go that's when this gem found it's way into my life!! So...for me it's all about getting back to basics, taking the simplest path of least resistance and letting go!! How about you?

@@Julie norton your my hero! Keep on keeping on cause you inspire me!

@@zoeiyla I have the feeling that what you are thinking of in terms of "restriction" is that when your band is tight enough you are not going to want to or be able to over eat or eat bad food. I could be wrong, but just know that this is not how the band works Wen we talk about the band being in the green zone or having restriction, this means that you are at the point where you are satisfied with a smaller volume of food at any given meal. This does not mean that you can't over eat, or that you will no longer crave things like chocolate and sugar, though a band that is set at it's optimal fill level or green zone can help to diminish these feelings by keeping you feeling satisfied on that smaller amount of food helping you to make a good choice of food. That said you have to be the one who chooses to eat good wholesome foods in the correct amounts. You can easily over eat the band and the sensation that it's giving you to tell you that you have had enough. When you are a WLS patient often our eyes are much bigger then our tummy but in the case of the band if you allow yourself to push it you can eat more then you require. A stuck episode usually happens because of several things, either you took too big of a bite, ate too quickly, or perhaps you didn't quite chew it up as fine as you thought you had. It can also happen if you being to stack food, taking one bite after another before the first bite has cleared the band through the stoma into the larger stomach. This can cause a bit of a dilation above the band and is very uncomfortable. The feeling, can go from one of heart burn to chest pain to shortness or painful breathing if it's pressing against the diaphragm. Drinking and eating with food can cause this stacking situation as well but in a way where the Fluid will push its way under the bolus of food and often cause it to come back up and out. Sometimes if something is stuck even mildly you will get the slimes and this is gross...sorry. The mucus will build up as it tries to push the food through the stoma and you will feel the need to bring it back up. So...all this said, the band takes time and a bit of work to find the optimal fill level for you and we are all different. Some need 5cc some need 3 and some of us need 7 etc. Good eating mechanics along with mindful eating will help you in the long run. You don't want to be too tight, where fluids and your own saliva can't go down but you want to have enough restriction so that you are satisfied with a small amount of food at a sitting and not hungry again for at least 4 hours. Then I would say you are in the green zone and at optimal restriction. Sometimes you may not feel hungry at all, and you will be surprised by how little we really need to eat and be healthy. i know I am every day!!

I put off taking care of myself for years and years and years. I don't mean just being overweight or losing weight but truly taking care of myself. Making sure I was healthy and took the time out to make sure I was eating well, and sleeping enough and getting fresh air and sunshine. I was not living mindfully, I was living fully running around at top speed trying to cram a million tasks and to do's into the day. Only to crash into bed exhausted to "nap" as I liked to call it and then get up and run around again and again doing for everyone and everything but myself. I don't know if I thought I wasn't worthy of my own time, or that I was thinking I'm so OK and together and all these other's knocking down my door are not and it's my responsibility to help them....? I was born with a super power...didn't you know? Well, in my 20's and 30's it was easier to believe that, but as you cross that threshold of 30 something your body starts to say hold on there Wonder Woman you might be exceptional at a few things but you are no super human!! You are simply you and you need to slow it down and give it a rest or your going to break down. So I let the body break down and I would get sick or hurt sprain this or that, and I would get back up again and keep on keeping on until the next time my body would break down. I would not fuel it correctly for the speed I wanted to drive it at and I did not make sure I checked the fluids and the tire pressure either I just drove her into the ground. Finally she was breaking down, getting sick and not breathing right more often then not. I was spending more time at the Dr.'s office then time doing the things I loved doing, and I wasn't helping anything or anyone. It was then that I woke up. I opened my eyes for the first time and took a good look in the mirror. I didn't see Wonder Woman I saw an sick, tired life beaten old lady who couldn't walk from her office to her car without her heart beating out of her chest and the need to know that one button on the phone could call 911 for help if the heart attack happened today. It was time to make a change. It was time to take back my life, my time and put Lisa first. She was dying, I was spending all my time hiding behind the premise of helping others...and avoiding myself. Today, I will admit that there are days when I allow myself to get too bogged down with a million other things...but those are rare days for me now. Today I take the time to be mindful of myself, what I am eating, when and how, as well as what I am doing and saying and my behavior as a whole. It's not always easy, it's easier to hide behind "good intentions" and excuses but being honest with myself even when it's not pretty makes me feel AMAZING, healthy and happy!

Now that was interesting! I'll have to give that a try!

Just a quick second to check in here. Liz you look awesome!! Love the dress!! It's been a very trying couple of weeks, and I don't see any signs of things slowing down any time soon. Been keeping on track, just not making it to the gym. I decided that when you keep falling up the stairs and getting hurt your body is trying to tell you something...like slow down your killing me!!!??? So I thought it wise to take a couple of weeks and let my knees and bruised up legs heal and maybe stop trying to run and lift and do 100 things all through out the day and then do them again at the gym. Something has to give somewhere and I'm not sorry to say not fighting for a parking spot so I can work out till I am ready to drop literally is not the hardest thing for me to give up right now. Work is going 90 to nothing which is good and bad at the same time, and I have some major issues going on with my son again, so prayers please and if your in the NY Tri-State area check out my project...https://freewheel.com/ Back to work for me!!!

I enjoy spending every day with the ones that I love and cherish. Valentines Day is a special day that I get to be extra corny!! Where displays of affection, hearts, and flowers expressions of love and kisses don't make the world as uncomfortable as they do on say a Wednesday in March. We don't spend enough time showing, telling or living with the people that we love. We might not think we take them for-granted but I'll bet that if you really thought it about that for a moment you might find that you probably don't say I love you or hug these people as much as you could. Valentines Day is another reason to amp it up. Put on that bright red dress, a pair of high heels that might not wear on a Tuesday to work, put on that extra sparkle and paint the town red with my hubby. I love the flowers, the balloons, the sparkly things that come in small packages!! Yes I even love the romantic dinners, champagne and chocolate! What we like to do since we are both WLS patients is book a romantic dinner at an exclusive place where the food is decadent and the atmosphere is beautiful. Maybe there is live music or dancing, we will enjoy some expensive chocolates the kind that cost you so much that you are satisfied with just that bit. Maybe chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. Maybe we will go see a movie together and snuggle up. When it comes to kids, all my kids are older now, and looking for their own special someone to share the day with, but I will still get them their favorite chocolate in a small heart of Ferrero Rocher, if they are at home we might make our own chocolate covered strawberries cook and have a nice family dinner together, but for me it's a day to enjoy life and love. Wear my heart on my sleeve and share it with the world!!

@@My3Girls you are so right about that. I do get some exercise in during the day, I walk all over my building and I take the stairs everywhere which is about 4-6 flights depending on where I am going and coming from. It's just not the "gym" kind which is kind of funny because my personal trainer sent me a text this morning to see if everything was OK since he hasn't seen me in 2 weeks!! I guess it's time to start getting back to the gym and stop using my stress as an excuse. How are you doing today?

@@My3Girls I'm in! I'm in every day!! Pretty much every day I have to remind myself to be on track and not let the stress of the day and life get to me and trust me it can!!! Boy oh Boy can it!! Now I know getting this butt to the gym would help with weight and stress also but for some reason I just can't get there. By the end of the day I am totally and utterly exhausted!!

@@tootyoyo yes if you were to get sick or have food poisoning you would vomit from your actual stomach. Being banded does not mean that you should be vomiting. The only reason you would be vomiting is if you were sick with some type of virus or food poisoning. As a banded patient you should NEVER want to be vomiting. Practicing good eating mechanics will help to ensure that this does not happen even when your band is adjusted properly and you are in the "green" zone. The goal is not to be vomiting but to control the amount, type and timing of your food intake. The band does not hold food at the top of the band, the food passes through the stoma that the band creates and food moves into the larger part of the stomach. So any food that is coming back up is usually coming up from the larger portion of the stomach. If there is food caught above the band it is because there are some eating mechanics in failure. Either you have eaten a bite that is too big and not chewed well enough and there for is unable to pass the stoma, you have eaten the bite too quickly after the previous bite and you have now caused a stacking situation about the band and/or you have taken a drink of Fluid while eating before the food has cleared the band and again causing a bit of stacking issue which will cause the liquid to move below the food and filter through the band and force the food up and out. So if you practice good eating mechanics cutting small bites, eating slowly chew chew chewing and do not drink while eating you should never need to vomit.

Ah yes I have done this as well. Some of those longer capsules even can get a bit stuck if they go down sideways and you can't always control the way they go down. In the morning I take one pill at a time with my morning coffee. Takes me about 30 minutes to get them all down. I do the same thing at night since I have meds I have to take in the AM and PM, and when they get stuck if they come back up or your gurgling they don't always taste so great!! I look at this way though it def. takes my appetite away I don't even want chocolate!

@@Deedee13 it's a very good idea to give your Dr. a call and let them know how uncomfortable you are and that you are still experiencing acid re-flux at night. There are medications they can give you to help with all of these things and to help guard the stomach while you are healing. The last thing you want is to leave it, you will continue to be uncomfortable and could cause other severe issues like erosion. I have had these issues before and cause not only swelling but irritation to my stomach that was revealed on a endoscopy exam. I am no on preventive medication so that this does not happen again. Let us know how you are doing OK?

I would ask him to share the results of the scans with you and get copies of them, call another office and see if you can get a second opinion from another Dr. we are still talking about major surgery so a second opinion is not uncalled for. If there needs to be a revision then you will know without a doubt. Let us know how your doing and what happens!!

My son who has not had WLS or need it in any way has had what the Dr.'s called allergy shiners for most of his life. Even when he was a little boy especially when he was tired his eyes would like he got punched right before bed. He's 26 now but it still happens to him when he's over tired. I also have this problem...but as those have said with make up there are ways around it for us gals. I use well rested by bare minerals when I am less then well rested and if my eyes are looking a little "hollow".