warriormama

I had my surgery in June 2005. I am a success story for the Lap band with one "set back". I started this journey for all the usual reasons. I worked hard and got down to a very reasonalbe weight for me and stay there for a long time. 172 pounds....I felt great. I was exercising 4-5 days a week. Over time I started to eat more than I should and exercise less. Old habits die hard I guess. I started throwing up daily when I would eat. Not the throwing up as in purging myself but physically being unable to keep food down. I started to make poor food choices because lets face it, ice cream and chocolate are easier to eat than an apple if your band is too tight. I started gaining weight. When things got so bad I really couldn't keep anything down, I read on this blog about this happening to someone else and they went in and thier band had slipped. I made an appointment and went in the next day. My weight was up to 198. Thankfully my band had not slipped but my esophagus was pouched out and the band was too tight and everything swollen. My PA took almost all of the fluid out of my band and said we needed to let everything heal for 2 months. During that time I got a glimpse of what my life was like prior to my band. I had NO feeling to stop eating. NO "restiction" and was hungary all the time. Longest 2 months ever. I didn't use it as an excuse to eat everything in site but honestly I gained weight everyday.

I went in for my band fill this week. Weight 212. The PA was supportive but I was ashamed of myself. She talked to me about "starting over." This is just like when I started my journey in 2005 and I am excited. I am measuring my food, focusing on my proteins and gonna move my body. I do not feel good at this weight. Not just talking about self esteem either. Physically: my clothes don't fit, I am tired all the time, I am snoring at night, I have carpal tunnel, I have stress incontinence, aches and pains etc. These are the things that went away when I lost all the weight to begin with.

I am starting over and so thankful I have this tool to help me. I can do it!