carol1951

Took a nap yesterday, should have known better. I can't sleep tonight. Sometimes I feel as if I have the RLS that you see on TV. I just couldn't lay still tonight. So here I am sitting up eating all the wrong things. Good thing there is not much in the house. I thought about buying cookie when I was at the store on Friday, but I didn't knowing I would probably have a night just like this. I can't have cookies around. I love COOKIES. So I have eaten some cheese cubes and a twinkie. The twinkie was terrible, I didn't really enjoy it at all. I also have some cottage cheese salad. Guess it could be worse. I'm still can't wrap my mind around the fact that some day I might actually be smaller. I'm not saying thin, because I don't believe that will every happen. I just want to feel better, not sluggish all the time. I would like to be a size 14 or size 12. I will never be a smaller size, cause there is going to be too much excess skin. Still it seems a dream that will never come true. I didn't do much this weekend. It was really a very quite few days. Hope this is a good week. I need to log on to fitday and chart my food intake, I couldn't seem to get fitday to work the other day and so I just haven't been back. Something to do tomorrow. Sleep is getting near I hope. The morning will come soon enough.

I heard a man on the View today talking about weight loss drugs. The interesting thing was he said was that overweight people tend not to eat breakfast or lunch, then eat to much in the evening. He could have been talking about me. I really don't like breakfast although I try to eat breakfast everyday. Some day I'm just not hungry in the morning and somedays its 10 or 11 before I'm hungry. I really need to start eating early, but I'm alway afraid that if I eat to early I will be hungry later and won't have anything left to eat for the day. I then overeat in the evening. I must change this behavior. I alway have food to eat and no one is going to take food away from me. So why do I have this thought in my head that I wouldn't have anything to eat. Even if I eat everything I should for the day I still have food in the house so this is not a reasonable thought. That is a crazy thought. Ok now that is know this I have to change want I do. I just have to figure out what or how I want to handle this. :help::help::help:

I heard a man on the View today talking about weight loss drugs. The interesting thing was he said was that overweight people tend not to eat breakfast or lunch, then eat to much in the evening. He could have been talking about me. I really don't like breakfast although I try to eat breakfast everyday. Some day I'm just not hungry in the morning and somedays its 10 or 11 before I'm hungry. I really need to start eating early, but I'm alway afraid that if I eat to early I will be hungry later and won't have anything left to eat for the day. I then overeat in the evening. I must change this behavior. I alway have food to eat and no one is going to take food away from me. So why do I have this thought in my head that I wouldn't have anything to eat. Even if I eat everything I should for the day I still have food in the house so this is not a reasonable thought. That is a crazy thought. Ok now that is know this I have to change want I do. I just have to figure out what or how I want to handle this. :help::help::help:

I was banded on 3-20-07 I have had three fill for a total of 2 cc in my 4 cc band and I still can eat quite a bit. I have lost only 28 lbs, yes I'm disappointed. On the other had I could of gained 28 lbs in the same time peroid. I have lost the most while I'm on the post fill diet. That is I'm on clear liquid for 24 hours and liquid for 24 hours and the back to regular food. I think that I'm not making really good choices on the food front. I don't excersize like I should, I have a bad knees and a bad hip. I try to walk a few times a week even if its only for a few minutes. I also use fitday.com to track my food intake. I get way to much fat and carbs. Keep up the faith, you will lose but it might be really really slow. Carol

I'm feeling like I have some restriction now. Still having problems with my b/p. It seems like it goes down after I eat. I know when its to low I have some little black spots showup in my vision and sometimes I feel weak and dizzy. Everytime I'm at the doctor its just fine, but of course I haven't just eaten. Now this morning its 80/44 and I haven't eaten. I think I need to get a new b/p machine, but if its not reading me correctly, then what is my DH b/p. His is alway normal right after mine is so low. So far I'm getting along ok, but I do think it has a lot to do with my energy level. So far since my fill on monday I have lost few pound, I hope this is a pernament lost. I ate yesterday for the 1 st time since monday and I did notice the feeling of being fuller quicker. I hope this is a good sign, because I would like to have a sweet spot and not need another fill for a couple of months. I have to pay for my own fills now. Insurance was only good through the month of June. I believe my clothes are starting to get to big, will be excited to get in to something smaller. I'm still wearing all my same things. I probably could get in to something smaller, but I just hate tight clothes. My clothes were so tight right before my surgery that I was trying to find bigger clothes on the internet. Thank God I didn't buy anything. I'm tired of all the old clothes that I'm wearing, but will stay with them for a little longer. Maybe by fall I will need clothes a couple of sizes smaller. I hope I will be in 22 or 20. I started out in size 26-28. I will keep my fingers crossed. Watched the some of the grandkids yesterday and I just love to have them around, but the do wear me out really really quick.

I'm feeling like I have some restriction now. Still having problems with my b/p. It seems like it goes down after I eat. I know when its to low I have some little black spots showup in my vision and sometimes I feel weak and dizzy. Everytime I'm at the doctor its just fine, but of course I haven't just eaten. Now this morning its 80/44 and I haven't eaten. I think I need to get a new b/p machine, but if its not reading me correctly, then what is my DH b/p. His is alway normal right after mine is so low. So far I'm getting along ok, but I do think it has a lot to do with my energy level. So far since my fill on monday I have lost few pound, I hope this is a pernament lost. I ate yesterday for the 1 st time since monday and I did notice the feeling of being fuller quicker. I hope this is a good sign, because I would like to have a sweet spot and not need another fill for a couple of months. I have to pay for my own fills now. Insurance was only good through the month of June. I believe my clothes are starting to get to big, will be excited to get in to something smaller. I'm still wearing all my same things. I probably could get in to something smaller, but I just hate tight clothes. My clothes were so tight right before my surgery that I was trying to find bigger clothes on the internet. Thank God I didn't buy anything. I'm tired of all the old clothes that I'm wearing, but will stay with them for a little longer. Maybe by fall I will need clothes a couple of sizes smaller. I hope I will be in 22 or 20. I started out in size 26-28. I will keep my fingers crossed. Watched the some of the grandkids yesterday and I just love to have them around, but the do wear me out really really quick.

Thanks for this thread. I understand what everyone is saying. My husband is a great guy and we have been married almost 38 years, but in the last few years it has really slowed down. I want sex more then he does and it very discouraging at times. I too have spend many sleepless nights and have cried myself to sleep a few times. As women we alway think its our fault, but its not always our fault. My husband has never been that touchy feely person that some write about. He never says I love you unless he is repeating back to me. Now day he never starts the sex. I know part has to be my weight although he has never expressed that, but we do not go out very often either. I feel a lot of this has to do with my weight issues. Sometimes it me and sometimes its him. But sex a little more often than every six weeks would be good.

Ok I'm just back from my 3 fill and I only lost 4.2 lbs last month. I have a grand total of 28 lbs since Iwas banded March 20th. I use to lose faster than that when I was on weight watchers. I know this is to be slow, but come on. I know I'm eating a lot less then before the band. I know I could have gained 28lbs in this time, but its so discouraging when I read what other have lost. I almost to the point of not reading what some of the people write on the other threads.

Just got back from my 3rd fill. I'm now at 2cc in my 4cc band. I hope I get some restriction now. I only lost 4.2 lbs,:angry for a grand total of 28 lbs. :angryI really wanted to lose 10 lbs a month, but only 4.2 lbs. I have started to walk need to increase that, I have to watch my fat intake, nothing that has more than 30% fat in it. Eat my protien 1st and drink more water, more water and more water. I know I'm not eating nearly as much as I use to eat, when is the scales going to start dropping. I think I will try doing the weight watchers diet, I have always lost good on it and maybe that will help me get started. I know that I have to eat my protien 1st and then my veggies. I'm not much of a meat eater so I will try to add beans and some cheese, but I have to stay away from to much cheese. I have never been able to lose when eating cheese. I use reduced fat dressing and 2% cheese, skimmed milk. I need to eat fish, have never ever liked fish unless it was fish and chips. I have not still had a diet coke and i have only ate bread twice. I have had way to many sweets, reduced fat ice cream, a couple of cookies once and while. I have made my own smoothies. I use skimmed milk, frozen strawberries, a banana, and sweetner. I'm really trying, but just don't seem to lose. I'm really really down today, maybe tomorrow I will feel better about what I have lost. I know that I haven't gained and I'm moving more. I want to buy some new clothes in smaller size, but I havn't lost enough yet to do that. It's got to get better.

Just got back from my 3rd fill. I'm now at 2cc in my 4cc band. I hope I get some restriction now. I only lost 4.2 lbs,:angry for a grand total of 28 lbs. :angryI really wanted to lose 10 lbs a month, but only 4.2 lbs. I have started to walk need to increase that, I have to watch my fat intake, nothing that has more than 30% fat in it. Eat my protien 1st and drink more water, more water and more water. I know I'm not eating nearly as much as I use to eat, when is the scales going to start dropping. I think I will try doing the weight watchers diet, I have always lost good on it and maybe that will help me get started. I know that I have to eat my protien 1st and then my veggies. I'm not much of a meat eater so I will try to add beans and some cheese, but I have to stay away from to much cheese. I have never been able to lose when eating cheese. I use reduced fat dressing and 2% cheese, skimmed milk. I need to eat fish, have never ever liked fish unless it was fish and chips. I have not still had a diet coke and i have only ate bread twice. I have had way to many sweets, reduced fat ice cream, a couple of cookies once and while. I have made my own smoothies. I use skimmed milk, frozen strawberries, a banana, and sweetner. I'm really trying, but just don't seem to lose. I'm really really down today, maybe tomorrow I will feel better about what I have lost. I know that I haven't gained and I'm moving more. I want to buy some new clothes in smaller size, but I havn't lost enough yet to do that. It's got to get better.

Thickchick, you did the right thing by all means. Men are such A------'s. To take you to a strip club while he goes inside is horrible. You are so right to just let role off your back. Much better is waiting for you.

THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVERYDONE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!! Don't every let anyone think that this is the easy way to go. This is hard!! All the bad things go done so easy and all the good thing take time to chew and go down. This is a tool that need constant attention. You can't let you guard down for a minute. I know I'm not eating nearly what I did before the band, but those old habits just want to keep coming back. I have trouble in the mornings, I'm just not hungry. So I have been trying to eat a protien bar and drink some water. Lunch is not much better, I really don't get hungry till around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Then IT starts to sneek back up on you. The snack attack happens, 1st I just have some cheese to tide me over till its supper time, THEN the candy or cookie monster takes over trying to steel your brain. The candy, cookie and even ice cream call you name and gentle whispers in your ear EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME. Its like a horror movie that is in your brain. That gentle lover wants to take over your body and never let you out, YOU MUST BE STRONG. NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE OTHERSIDE, RESIST THE DARK SIDE. IT JUST WANTS TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOU EVERDAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW IS THE TIME TO WIN THE BATTLE, THE BATTLE FOR YOU LIFE AND ITS JUST BEGAN. STAY STRONG AND FIND OTHER THINGS TO DO!!!!!!

THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVERYDONE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!! Don't every let anyone think that this is the easy way to go. This is hard!! All the bad things go done so easy and all the good thing take time to chew and go down. This is a tool that need constant attention. You can't let you guard down for a minute. I know I'm not eating nearly what I did before the band, but those old habits just want to keep coming back. I have trouble in the mornings, I'm just not hungry. So I have been trying to eat a protien bar and drink some water. Lunch is not much better, I really don't get hungry till around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Then IT starts to sneek back up on you. The snack attack happens, 1st I just have some cheese to tide me over till its supper time, THEN the candy or cookie monster takes over trying to steel your brain. The candy, cookie and even ice cream call you name and gentle whispers in your ear EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME. Its like a horror movie that is in your brain. That gentle lover wants to take over your body and never let you out, YOU MUST BE STRONG. NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE OTHERSIDE, RESIST THE DARK SIDE. IT JUST WANTS TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOU EVERDAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW IS THE TIME TO WIN THE BATTLE, THE BATTLE FOR YOU LIFE AND ITS JUST BEGAN. STAY STRONG AND FIND OTHER THINGS TO DO!!!!!!

It started last nite, this terrible burning in my stomach. I have been off my priolsec for a week. I went out this morning and got me some more. I hope that is the only reason my stomach is upset. I haven't ate much today 1 banana, a slice of pizza with chichen on it, and fruit smoothie. I need to get some protien in just not really feeling like eating. Oh well hope tomorrow is better. Three of my older grandkids wanted to come over and spend the afternoon with me. I really enjoyed having them, they are so much fun. I oldest granddaughter turn 14 yesterday, I just cant believe it. Where does the time go. Speaking of time, why is it when you are dieting time slows to a snails pace. Looking back if I had just learned to eat the way I should have I wouldn't be doing this now. I hope you can teach a old dog a few new tricks. Well off to find some protien, hope my stomach get settled down.

It started last nite, this terrible burning in my stomach. I have been off my priolsec for a week. I went out this morning and got me some more. I hope that is the only reason my stomach is upset. I haven't ate much today 1 banana, a slice of pizza with chichen on it, and fruit smoothie. I need to get some protien in just not really feeling like eating. Oh well hope tomorrow is better. Three of my older grandkids wanted to come over and spend the afternoon with me. I really enjoyed having them, they are so much fun. I oldest granddaughter turn 14 yesterday, I just cant believe it. Where does the time go. Speaking of time, why is it when you are dieting time slows to a snails pace. Looking back if I had just learned to eat the way I should have I wouldn't be doing this now. I hope you can teach a old dog a few new tricks. Well off to find some protien, hope my stomach get settled down.

Lots of thing made me get the band. Wiping, tired all the time, only being able to walk a couple of block then my hip and knee would hurt. Climbing stairs, wanting sex, but not wanting my husband to touch my fat. Afraid that my daughter was ashamed to be seen withme. Only going out to eat, never to do anything else. Tired of eating everything, no matter what it tasted like. Decided it was time to realize that I wanted to live for a long time and not just sit around and wait for death.

DH is gone till Wednesday nite, I'm alone with all my food thoughts, Oh my what will I do.:help: I'm going to go to the movies with a friend this afternoon. Tomorrow I will watch my grandson for awhile and take a walk I hope. Tuesday my sister wants me to come up and see a couple of our cousins. Then its Wed. and my DH will be home in the evening. I never get a chance to be bored or alone very often, always something going on. I weight this morning and was done a couple of pounds hope it stay down. I seem to like to play around with a couple of pounds before they are really gone. It was been raining again and talk that it will rain off and on all week long. Hope it nice in the mornings so Dana and I can walk. I really don't mind going if I have some one to go with me. We don't even walk together, she is much faster than me. Shes also twenty years younger than me. I'm thinking some of clothes are beginning to be to big, but I hate tight clothes so will wait for a few more pounds to come off before I go down a size. They were way to tight before I started this journey, so I must be patient with myself. It is going to be a great week. Hoping to get some more scrapebooking done. Not feeling so hungry today, hope that stay with me for a long long time. Have to work on drinking more water or crystal light. Just have a problem getting fluids down. Never have figured out why I don't drink like other people do, but sometime I figure out that it has been serveral hours and I haven't drank a thing, I don't really feel thristy most of the time. I think its a problem and I need to get in tune with my thrist. Almost time to go to the movies, that will be two movies and two play within one month.:clap2::clap2::clap2:

DH is gone till Wednesday nite, I'm alone with all my food thoughts, Oh my what will I do.:help: I'm going to go to the movies with a friend this afternoon. Tomorrow I will watch my grandson for awhile and take a walk I hope. Tuesday my sister wants me to come up and see a couple of our cousins. Then its Wed. and my DH will be home in the evening. I never get a chance to be bored or alone very often, always something going on. I weight this morning and was done a couple of pounds hope it stay down. I seem to like to play around with a couple of pounds before they are really gone. It was been raining again and talk that it will rain off and on all week long. Hope it nice in the mornings so Dana and I can walk. I really don't mind going if I have some one to go with me. We don't even walk together, she is much faster than me. Shes also twenty years younger than me. I'm thinking some of clothes are beginning to be to big, but I hate tight clothes so will wait for a few more pounds to come off before I go down a size. They were way to tight before I started this journey, so I must be patient with myself. It is going to be a great week. Hoping to get some more scrapebooking done. Not feeling so hungry today, hope that stay with me for a long long time. Have to work on drinking more water or crystal light. Just have a problem getting fluids down. Never have figured out why I don't drink like other people do, but sometime I figure out that it has been serveral hours and I haven't drank a thing, I don't really feel thristy most of the time. I think its a problem and I need to get in tune with my thrist. Almost time to go to the movies, that will be two movies and two play within one month.:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Purplemonkey, if your clothes are hanging on you go buy something new and see what smaller size you are. That will give you give a great big boost. Go this weekend and see what you find. carol

Went to see my regular doctor today. I last saw him about 2 weeks be for my banding. I had lost 26 lbs according to their scales. Guess that now to bad, but I wish it was just a little higher. I would like to lose 10lbs per month. I'm losing approx. 1-2 lbs a week. I know that is what they want you to lose, but I want it to come off just a little faster than that. I really haven't lost since I had my last fill 2 weeks ago. I seem to lose only when I'm on the liquid part of the diet. I will try watching my fats and carbs a little closer. I averaging 1500 cal per day and that is so much less then it was before my banding. I would think I would lose even faster than I am. Doctor was please with my weight lost, my iron was down and if its not back up when I go back in he wants to do another colonscopy a little early. I have to eat more iron for next couple of months. My hgbac1 was 6.5 same as in march, was hoping it would go down now that I have lost a little weight, maybe next time. Delaney had a seizure while I was at the doctor. I have been home all week, but not here when she need me. I'm the closer to the school than her mother and I can give her her medicine. She seem ok for now. So far today has been good. Its a little sticky out and my have storm later on today. Well must make some lunch. I'm hungry.:hungry::hungry::hungry:

PurpleMonkey, I understand completely. I have only lost 25lbs since banding 3/20/07. I think one of my problems is that I cant see myself thin. Its been so long ago that I was a normal size that I just don't believe it will happen. I know that 25 lbs is not that much, but I'm being to see a different in my clothes. But maybe we will get there and see ourselves for who we are and not what size we are. Keep up your amazing work, we will make it this time. carol

Went to see my regular doctor today. I last saw him about 2 weeks be for my banding. I had lost 26 lbs according to their scales. Guess that now to bad, but I wish it was just a little higher. I would like to lose 10lbs per month. I'm losing approx. 1-2 lbs a week. I know that is what they want you to lose, but I want it to come off just a little faster than that. I really haven't lost since I had my last fill 2 weeks ago. I seem to lose only when I'm on the liquid part of the diet. I will try watching my fats and carbs a little closer. I averaging 1500 cal per day and that is so much less then it was before my banding. I would think I would lose even faster than I am. Doctor was please with my weight lost, my iron was down and if its not back up when I go back in he wants to do another colonscopy a little early. I have to eat more iron for next couple of months. My hgbac1 was 6.5 same as in march, was hoping it would go down now that I have lost a little weight, maybe next time. Delaney had a seizure while I was at the doctor. I have been home all week, but not here when she need me. I'm the closer to the school than her mother and I can give her her medicine. She seem ok for now. So far today has been good. Its a little sticky out and my have storm later on today. Well must make some lunch. I'm hungry.:hungry::hungry::hungry:

Here it is 9:17 and I have already walked with my daughter. I walked about 3/4 of a mile today. My knees and hip hurt less today, so maybe I'm getting use to the walking. My goal for this month is to increase my daily excercise from nothing to something. I have walked 4 out of the last seven days. That is really great for me, now I just have to keep it up. Now that excercise is coming on board I have to get my calorie intact down. I have some restriction but not very much. I don't eat as much as I did, but I still taking in about 1500 calories a day. I must stay postive and upbeat and see what I can do today.

Here it is 9:17 and I have already walked with my daughter. I walked about 3/4 of a mile today. My knees and hip hurt less today, so maybe I'm getting use to the walking. My goal for this month is to increase my daily excercise from nothing to something. I have walked 4 out of the last seven days. That is really great for me, now I just have to keep it up. Now that excercise is coming on board I have to get my calorie intact down. I have some restriction but not very much. I don't eat as much as I did, but I still taking in about 1500 calories a day. I must stay postive and upbeat and see what I can do today.

Don't feel alone. Yesterday I had a great day. Walked ate pretty good. Then went to bed and couldn't sleep. Got up and ate dry roasted peanuts, 2 oz 2% cheese, and a protien bar. Why I did it is beyond me. I knew I shouldn't have been doing it, but just kept on doing it. Sometimes I wonder what in the world I'm doing, and why I can't stop myself.