carol1951

Sorry for all the garbage, tried to fix a mistake and make a bigger one. Oh well, can't win them all. Have a great week everyone

Happy Monday to all. Really had a good weekend, got to go to my sisters and see my aunt that here from Texas. Lots of food, but did pretty good for me. ;Momlambert congrats on the new baby, so glad he got here before you had to leave. Good luck on the move and keep us updated.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Have good week everyone. We are Marchies and We can doit ( as Bob the Builder would say).&lt;/p&gt;</p></p></p>

I had a really pretty good weekend concerning I was at my sisters and we had lots of food. I was only up a couple of ounces this morning on the scales. Cheryl really looks bad, she has really had a ruff time of it this spring and summer. She has lost a lot of weight and she was not that big to begin with. Her skin just hangs on her and looks almost anorexic. She cant eat any wheat now and has to real careful of her diet. She had a bad case of diverticulitis. My aunt told her next time to go to the city and not mess around with any small town doctors. My aunt is a doctor. I'm worried about her. She has no energy and is tired all the time. I really enjoyed seeing my Aunt and my nieces. We had a good time and I feel pretty good about what I ate. I did have a couple of sweets, but not near what I would have eaten a year ago. I know that this weight will come off. I have to get in gear and start exercising. I know that I will when I make up my mind to do it. I am fighting it right now and I really dont know why. I have to walk, I can't afford to join a gym right now. I hope it will cool down in the next month and maybe I will get started. My aunt thinks I should find a water exercise class, but I can't even think of putting this hugh body into a swim suit. I need to get over that too. Oh well have to much to do need to get going. At least I moving a lot more than I was. I'm way to senitive about how I look. I make myself sick and I can't imagine what anyone else would think. I know I shouldn't worry what others think, but I just don't like the way I look in most clothes, and how could anyone else stand to look at me. My husband doesn't even look at me why would anyone want to look at me either. I will get better has the weight comes off. How could I have been so blind in the past not to notice how terrible I looked. Noone even my husband or kids said anything to me. :omg:

I had a really pretty good weekend concerning I was at my sisters and we had lots of food. I was only up a couple of ounces this morning on the scales. Cheryl really looks bad, she has really had a ruff time of it this spring and summer. She has lost a lot of weight and she was not that big to begin with. Her skin just hangs on her and looks almost anorexic. She cant eat any wheat now and has to real careful of her diet. She had a bad case of diverticulitis. My aunt told her next time to go to the city and not mess around with any small town doctors. My aunt is a doctor. I'm worried about her. She has no energy and is tired all the time. I really enjoyed seeing my Aunt and my nieces. We had a good time and I feel pretty good about what I ate. I did have a couple of sweets, but not near what I would have eaten a year ago. I know that this weight will come off. I have to get in gear and start exercising. I know that I will when I make up my mind to do it. I am fighting it right now and I really dont know why. I have to walk, I can't afford to join a gym right now. I hope it will cool down in the next month and maybe I will get started. My aunt thinks I should find a water exercise class, but I can't even think of putting this hugh body into a swim suit. I need to get over that too. Oh well have to much to do need to get going. At least I moving a lot more than I was. I'm way to senitive about how I look. I make myself sick and I can't imagine what anyone else would think. I know I shouldn't worry what others think, but I just don't like the way I look in most clothes, and how could anyone else stand to look at me. My husband doesn't even look at me why would anyone want to look at me either. I will get better has the weight comes off. How could I have been so blind in the past not to notice how terrible I looked. Noone even my husband or kids said anything to me. :omg:

Momlambert Don't feel alone with the band restriction. I have 2.5 cc in my 4 cc band and I still don't have a lot of restriction. I can eat most things. I still can't do bread. I also ate pizza today with my daughter for lunch, but I only eat the topping not the crust, so hope this is a small victory. I love pizza and the thought of giving it forever is very sad, but if I eat the topping I don't feel quite so bad. I was hoping after the fill last week that I would have good restriction as I'm paying for them now and the are quite costly. Just remember we are not eating as much and we are losing and we are not gaining. I know if I had not had this done when I did that I would be in terrible shape right now. My knees still hurt, but can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't lost 30 lbs. I really was hoping it would come off faster, but I suppose slow is good for this old body and maybe I won't have to much loose skin hanging, but my wings are really getting bad. Good luck on the grandson this weekend, hope he gets here before you have to return home.

I know that I have lost my DD, but the hole it has left in me is hugh. I have been trying to fill it with food today and I know that won't work. I have to work through these problems and hope for the best. I did my best with her, but it was never enough. I truely love her and her kids, but I can't seem to do enough. I have given money till have none left to give. I have babysit and pick up the kids from school when sick. I have gotten the grandkids birthday, christmas presents, and clothes for school. I have tried to be there when she need me, but in the end she choose a man who has completly shut out her family. I wish I could change a lot of things. I know I can only do so much and I do the best that I can. I will miss not seeing the kids, but the last time I talked with her and told her the kids had been over when the were at their dads I could tell she was not happy about them being at my house. I will not put them in the middle so I will not see them or talk with them when they are at their dads. This is the hardest thing I have to do. She was to decide when and if I can see them, its not up to me, she is their mother. I have eaten way to much today already and its only 12:30. I have had a protein bar, 2 oz cheese, a bowl of pasta and meatballs, and some cheese spread on crackers. I will have to drink a lot of water and do some excersises. I know it could have been worst had I not had the band. THE BAND IS MY FRIEND, MAYBE THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE. THE BAND DOESN'T LYE. THE BAND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM ME. THE BAND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. I LOVE MY BAND. I thank God everyday that I have the band to remind me not to eat to much and to love myself. If I don't love myself no one else will love me.

OK, so I was band on 3-30-07 and have lost 30lbs. I know thats not a lot, but I can only imagine where I would be right now if I hadn't had the band. I truely love my band and sometime I hate my band. I only hate when I really want to binge. But the band is there to remind me not to do it. I try sometime to overeat, but there is not room for that, so I go and do something else. I try to keep busy. Not all people lose fast and some of us have to work really hard to lose. Just remember that you are an individual and we all lose a little differently. I know you will be great at it and don't give on the people who write on this site to vent and to brag. Lots of people have right to brag. Just remember you will do just great and I know there is a lot of sucess stories out. Just look at the before and after picture. Good luck.

I know that I have lost my DD, but the hole it has left in me is hugh. I have been trying to fill it with food today and I know that won't work. I have to work through these problems and hope for the best. I did my best with her, but it was never enough. I truely love her and her kids, but I can't seem to do enough. I have given money till have none left to give. I have babysit and pick up the kids from school when sick. I have gotten the grandkids birthday, christmas presents, and clothes for school. I have tried to be there when she need me, but in the end she choose a man who has completly shut out her family. I wish I could change a lot of things. I know I can only do so much and I do the best that I can. I will miss not seeing the kids, but the last time I talked with her and told her the kids had been over when the were at their dads I could tell she was not happy about them being at my house. I will not put them in the middle so I will not see them or talk with them when they are at their dads. This is the hardest thing I have to do. She was to decide when and if I can see them, its not up to me, she is their mother. I have eaten way to much today already and its only 12:30. I have had a protein bar, 2 oz cheese, a bowl of pasta and meatballs, and some cheese spread on crackers. I will have to drink a lot of water and do some excersises. I know it could have been worst had I not had the band. THE BAND IS MY FRIEND, MAYBE THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE. THE BAND DOESN'T LYE. THE BAND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM ME. THE BAND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. I LOVE MY BAND. I thank God everyday that I have the band to remind me not to eat to much and to love myself. If I don't love myself no one else will love me.

Not really. It was better for a couple of months then back to same or thing. I make all the effort and he just lets me. I don't even ask to go out eat any more. We never go to eat either. I believe he is ashamed of me and thats why. I think and I can't blame him that I probaby turn him off with all this weight. On the other hand the more he rejected me the more I would eat. I use to get up and night and instead of crying I would stuff myself with food. Since the band I have stop most of the midnight raid on the food. The rejection is still real to me, maybe it is all in my head, but I don't think so. Thanks again for the reply. It really helps knowing that there is others out there. The problem remains how do we get through to them. I really do love him or I wouldn't be here today.

Congrats on the weight loss. Just what do you eat and what kind of excersise are you doing.

I understand, my DH doesn't like intimacy, cuddling,or even kissing, or saying I LOVE YOU. I know we have been married almost 38 years, but in the last ten it has really began to bug me that he can't see my side. I love kissing, cuddling, holding hands. He just doesn't like to touch at all. We sleeping a king size bed and we never touch or spoon. Sex is almost never anymore, maybe every 6 or 8 weeks. I love sex and still want it more than he does. I understand the anger and the self doubt that goes with the rejection. I have told him that I will never ask for sex again it up to him, I'm tired of trying. When the kids were at home we had a very active sexual life, and I know that since the kids left home that I have put on the most weight around 100 lbs since the early ninetys. I also worked nights starting in 1993 and I know that has had a lot to do with the weight gain, but the rejection hurts the most. I retired last year and I'm home all the time, but the sex is almost never. I always wonder if this is the last time I will have sex. I not good at the self satifaction. Thanks for this thread it has made me aware that I'm not alone and its alot more common than I every thought it was.

I really am sad about my dd Susie. I cried and yelled Friday at no one. She really feels that I should pay for her car that she said she should pay for. Its been three years and she still can't make a payment. She know that I don't believe that her husband can't find a job. She has been working two and sometimes three jobs to make ends meet. Why would she do that? I just don't understand. She has taken on all her husbands problems and child plus her own 4 kids. Why does she think I should use all my retirement money. I know I will never see it back. We got the car in my DH name so that she could have something to drive that safe for the kids. Then she got pg and her husband, then boyfriend left her with no job and pg. Then as soon as she had her another job after the baby was born, he was back again. Never mind he was living with another woman while she as having a baby. She thinks I'm not giving him a chance. I don't trust him. I gave her money for the down payment or closing cost on her house. I then had to pay off the landlord from her rental, because he decide to hold her to the lease, which he didn't tell her about till after she had moveout. Oh well I'm just really hurt by all this. I don't know how to handle it either. I guess I will have to find a job. It won't be in the nursing field either. I just can't go back to nursing and My knees are so bad I don't know how long I can stand to stand. Guess I will just have to figure it out. I didn't do to bad with the eating Friday just a couple of no bake peanut butter cookies and a piece of cake. If this had been before the band I probably would have eaten my weight in food. I really do try to listen to my band. I need to find a name for my band.

I really am sad about my dd Susie. I cried and yelled Friday at no one. She really feels that I should pay for her car that she said she should pay for. Its been three years and she still can't make a payment. She know that I don't believe that her husband can't find a job. She has been working two and sometimes three jobs to make ends meet. Why would she do that? I just don't understand. She has taken on all her husbands problems and child plus her own 4 kids. Why does she think I should use all my retirement money. I know I will never see it back. We got the car in my DH name so that she could have something to drive that safe for the kids. Then she got pg and her husband, then boyfriend left her with no job and pg. Then as soon as she had her another job after the baby was born, he was back again. Never mind he was living with another woman while she as having a baby. She thinks I'm not giving him a chance. I don't trust him. I gave her money for the down payment or closing cost on her house. I then had to pay off the landlord from her rental, because he decide to hold her to the lease, which he didn't tell her about till after she had moveout. Oh well I'm just really hurt by all this. I don't know how to handle it either. I guess I will have to find a job. It won't be in the nursing field either. I just can't go back to nursing and My knees are so bad I don't know how long I can stand to stand. Guess I will just have to figure it out. I didn't do to bad with the eating Friday just a couple of no bake peanut butter cookies and a piece of cake. If this had been before the band I probably would have eaten my weight in food. I really do try to listen to my band. I need to find a name for my band.

You might try getting you a small smoothie maker and blend you crytal light or light fruit juice with ice it makes a great iciee treat with very little calories and can really cool you off quick.

good luck on your surgery. I'll be thinking of you

Ok I know that I'm just little crazy, but why do I feel that I must eat everything that I take on my plate. I always feel as if I'm wasting food. I know I'm not hungry anymore, but feel as if i need to clean my plate. I didn't eat all my salad at lunch and I even thought about keeping it till later. Since my fill on Monday I'm really not nearly as hunger as I was just a week ago. Hoping this last for a lifetime.

I so sad today. I have to ask my daughter for the car she is driving. She got it three years ago and said she would pay for it. She hasn't made a payment yet. I just can't pay for it anymore. I don't know why she doesn't at least give me some money. I could work with that. I told her to at least give me some money weekly. I know she has 4 kids and husband that can't or won't work. I know without the car she can't get to work. I told her that the house payment and the car payment are the 1st thing you pay each month. Without the car she can't get to work. I didn't want the grandkids riding around in a piece of junk. We signed for this car when she was getting a divorce, and she is remarried to a bum. I can't believe she puts up with all his excuses about find a job. She can't even buy a car because he has ruined her credit. I just don't know what to do. I love her, but I can't keep bailing her out of messes. She is 31 years old. She has just taken on her husbands child whos mother decided that she didn't want the child anymore. She has 5 kids in that small house, which I help her buy. I just don't know what to do. If her father my DH finds out that I'm still helping her He will be so mad at me. I'm such a mess. No wonder I can't seem to diet very good. So much stress. So much anger. So much hunger.

I so sad today. I have to ask my daughter for the car she is driving. She got it three years ago and said she would pay for it. She hasn't made a payment yet. I just can't pay for it anymore. I don't know why she doesn't at least give me some money. I could work with that. I told her to at least give me some money weekly. I know she has 4 kids and husband that can't or won't work. I know without the car she can't get to work. I told her that the house payment and the car payment are the 1st thing you pay each month. Without the car she can't get to work. I didn't want the grandkids riding around in a piece of junk. We signed for this car when she was getting a divorce, and she is remarried to a bum. I can't believe she puts up with all his excuses about find a job. She can't even buy a car because he has ruined her credit. I just don't know what to do. I love her, but I can't keep bailing her out of messes. She is 31 years old. She has just taken on her husbands child whos mother decided that she didn't want the child anymore. She has 5 kids in that small house, which I help her buy. I just don't know what to do. If her father my DH finds out that I'm still helping her He will be so mad at me. I'm such a mess. No wonder I can't seem to diet very good. So much stress. So much anger. So much hunger.

Cowgirldreams--Do you have restriction. Maybe they should check to make sure you have 4.3 cc in your band. How much have you lost. I know there is a lot of people who lose really really slow. Have you been to you PCP to see if you thyroid is working? We are here for you.

I was abused also. I have never told a soul. I think you all are right when you say when the scale goes down I start to eat to gain it back. Is this some form of self tortue. Are we just trying to hide from our feelings. I have lots of trust issues also which I know goes with the abuse. What dose it take to feel normal. What is normal, or is this always going to be my normal. I agree on the porn stuff. There is way to much of it out there. I really believe it does influnce our kids, just like moives, video games and also our sports and movies stars. Someone need to take respondibilty in business. All the businesses are thinkng about is money.

Do you think our bodies go into a stravation mode, then it tries to keep our fat. Do you think we can have to few calories. I know calories in and calories out, but if in our caveman day maybe something was switch on so people wouldn't strave, or die when food was in short supply. Just wondering.

Are you really hungry or is it head hunger. I'm having a real problem telling the difference. I wonder what people do to fight the head hunger. I know drink water and excersise, but what else do other do to fight head hunger. Just wondering.

Ok guys I really need help with head hunger and real hunger. How do you fight it. Would like some ideas. I know excersise and drink water, what else do you all do.

I like how you think. I will remember if I want a treat its probably just head hunger. I think that probably a very true statement for me. I believe it will help me over come some of my chocolate addictions. Thanks

Thanks Juli, I just don't like meat. I'm not big on chicken or eggs. I do like all the wrong meat. You know like bacon, sausage, hot dogs, steak. I found that a taco salad can be really good. Of course last nite I had nothing in house to eat so made tuna and noodles (haven't had in ages and ages), I can now add noodles to food that doesn't go down well. I thought I wasn't chewing them enought, but even when I chew my heart out the just brought on the pain. Its a strange pain like something is just turn in my chest. Oh well wasn't one of my farovites. I will have to keep better track of my calories this month also. Thanks for the info.