carol1951

I think I have given up on trying to keep track of everything I eat on fitday.com. I find it hard to track some of the stuff I still eat. Like casseroles, mixed salad ( not lettuce stuff). I have troulbe finding some things also. I think sometimes I get to focused on what I'm eating and trying track it on fitday. I have had a pretty good weekend. I go for another fill tomorrow and hope the scale drops some. I would love to lose 1lb a week, but I don't think I've done that. I know that my clothes are getting bigger, but not to big yet. I really thought I would hit a size smaller, but not really there yet ( very close). Its really hot here and I have not started walking outside yet, but I still useing my little pedals and I have up it to 20 minutes at a time. I hope to make to 30 minutes by the end of this week. I want to walk as soon as it get cooler and maybe I can walk for 30 minutes. I know that the pedals are easier than walking, but it still movement. I averaged 2884 steps per day last week and I want to increase that to 3000 per day on average this week. I really think moving will up my weight lost. I need to get over the fear of a gym, but not yet. I still feel like I'm to big to go to a gym. Besides being retired I can't really afford on right now, maybe in a year. I hope I can get my DH to go with me at that time. I can do some tapes and things like that at home. Maybe I will try one of channels on tv that has excerise on it.I'm feeling very hopeful this will be a good week. I get to go scrapbooking this next weekend. I know that will be a challenge, has I will not be home. I'm trying to plan ahead. My sister and niece are coming on thursday and will return to their homes on friday. We are planning on eating out at least twice. Shouldn't be to hard to eat at the places we are talking about going to. I CAN DO THIS. I WILL BE THINNER IN THE DAYS AND MONTHS AND YEARS TO COME. I WILL BE HEALTHIER AND HAPPY.

I was told high protein and low carbs and low fat. I still cant understand the low carbs. What is good carbs and what is bad carbs. I don't feel I got a lot of good diet training.

I so understand. I have not been a normal weight in so long, that I can't believe that I will ever have a normal weight. I can't even imagine what I will look like or how I will feel. I think this is major road block for me. Because I believe it will ever happen and if it does it won't last. I have lost and gain so much over the years that I really have trouble believing in myself or the band. I also fear that the people we have in our lives will not be here, or I will change and not need some of the people in my life. I can't really explain what I mean, but I fear losing friends or I will change and people won't like me. I understand. But this thread does help where we can explain or talk about our feeling. Thanks for being there everyone.

When will I give up these three pounds that I keep playing with. I go and I go down, why won't it just go away. I haven't lost a lb in the last month. I have increased my activity and I doing better most day with my eating. I still don't have the restriction that I want, but go next Tuesday for another fill. I hope this is the one, it will be my 5th fill. I still not low enough on the carbs. I do fine getting in the protien, but carbs are still a problem with me. This addiction as I call it is hard to bust. Maybe I will never get rid of it. I just need to learn how to live with it. I really didn't think the other night that I was eating because of emotions, but as I was going to bed I realized that I was upset with my DH. I have to face it that most of the time I deal with all emotions with food. I love food, I can't remember I time that I didn't love food. I like to look at it. I like cook it. I like eat it. I love to talk about food. My life as been about food and after 56 years of food I don't know anything else. I hide behind food. I cover up feelings with food. I make it my relaxation. I live most minutes of my life thinking of food. It has gotten better since I got the band. I really don't think of food as often, but it still only takes a commerical on tv to set me off. I saw a commerical for kfc the other night and I swear my mouth started watering and I don't even like kfc. My love affair with food is coming to an end, but it is so hard.

When will I give up these three pounds that I keep playing with. I go and I go down, why won't it just go away. I haven't lost a lb in the last month. I have increased my activity and I doing better most day with my eating. I still don't have the restriction that I want, but go next Tuesday for another fill. I hope this is the one, it will be my 5th fill. I still not low enough on the carbs. I do fine getting in the protien, but carbs are still a problem with me. This addiction as I call it is hard to bust. Maybe I will never get rid of it. I just need to learn how to live with it. I really didn't think the other night that I was eating because of emotions, but as I was going to bed I realized that I was upset with my DH. I have to face it that most of the time I deal with all emotions with food. I love food, I can't remember I time that I didn't love food. I like to look at it. I like cook it. I like eat it. I love to talk about food. My life as been about food and after 56 years of food I don't know anything else. I hide behind food. I cover up feelings with food. I make it my relaxation. I live most minutes of my life thinking of food. It has gotten better since I got the band. I really don't think of food as often, but it still only takes a commerical on tv to set me off. I saw a commerical for kfc the other night and I swear my mouth started watering and I don't even like kfc. My love affair with food is coming to an end, but it is so hard.

Okay everybody, I believe that there is going to be times when we are not perfect, but don't beat yourselves up. Pick your self up and get back on the program. I had two light bulb moments in the past 12 hours. 1. I couldn't sleep last night so I got up and ate a bowl of Cereal and a couple of Cookies. I decide that I wasn't emotional or anything just couldn't sleep. As I went back to bed I figure out that I really was mad, hurt and insecure, because all I really wanted last night was to be held when I got in bed, but DH had a headache and I knew I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of that happen. I have to stop punishing myself when I'm disappointed. 2. This morning I had to make a quick trip to my daughter, cause my granddaughter was having another seizure. After everything was over, my daughter was talking about being hungry and wanting tacos. In my preband days I would have stop and got something to eat, but I'm not hungry, so I can home without food. That is a big moment for me. In preband days I would have eaten 4 or 5 tacos. I hope to have more of these moments. You all are doing great, so just get with the program and we will make it together through all the ups and downs and hopefully more downs then ups.

Last night I couldn't sleep and I did what I always do I go up and ate a bowl of ceral. I then ate a couple of cookies. I really thought there was no emotion involved, but as I was going back to bed I had this thought. I was really mad, hurt, feeling rejected and lonely. I really wanted my DH to just hold me and love me. I knew he had a Headache before we went to bed. I knew their was a snowball chance in hell that we would be intimate, but its not always about sex. I have to stop punishing myself and speak up for myself. I was really trying to make myself feel better with food. Now that I have this information I need to try to turn it around. I truely thought I was just hungry, but I wasn't.

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight, so naturally I got up and ate some cereal and just had to have something else, so found some cookies. I knew I shouldn't have got them. I did it anyway. I'm really try to mess with my own head. It seems I always trying to put up road blocks. I wasn't mad or sad, it wasn't really emtional thing, I just wanted something to eat. Sometime when I can't sleep and I get something to eat I will fall to sleep faster. I should really be sleeping, as I got up at 4:45 this morning or should I say yesterday morning. Took Tracy and Caleb to the airport. Shes taking Caleb to Disney World for a few days. He was so excited about the airplane ride. Oh for the wonder of youth again, not the jade thoughts of the old. I have had a really good day otherwise. Guess I won't beat myself up over this. As Scarlet would say Theres always tomorrow.

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight, so naturally I got up and ate some cereal and just had to have something else, so found some cookies. I knew I shouldn't have got them. I did it anyway. I'm really try to mess with my own head. It seems I always trying to put up road blocks. I wasn't mad or sad, it wasn't really emtional thing, I just wanted something to eat. Sometime when I can't sleep and I get something to eat I will fall to sleep faster. I should really be sleeping, as I got up at 4:45 this morning or should I say yesterday morning. Took Tracy and Caleb to the airport. Shes taking Caleb to Disney World for a few days. He was so excited about the airplane ride. Oh for the wonder of youth again, not the jade thoughts of the old. I have had a really good day otherwise. Guess I won't beat myself up over this. As Scarlet would say Theres always tomorrow.

Hello Marchies. Where is everyone. Hope all is well with everyone. I still trying to not have junk food, going pretty well. I still need more restriction, I go next week for another fill. Have a great day everybody.

Not having a bad day, just an plain old same day. I have tried to keep busy. I have made up serveral packets for my scrapbooking weekend coming up. I need to make a plan for that weekend. Food of course, so that I don't get taken by surprise with the food. We have a suite I think,but don't know if it has refrig or anything like that. If I eat out I will need to figure out when to go and what to eat before I get there. I know bread is out, so won't be going to any hamburger joints. Need to find some place with good protien sources. Need to find if the hotel has a refrig first, guess I should call the place. If the have a refrig I will just take some stuff to make a salad with chicken or roast beef, or may ham. I don't like breakfast so could take my smoothie maker and have protien shake for breakfast. I really hadn't given this any thought till now. This is the first time that I will be away for the weekend. Really looking forward to that. I go next week for another fill I hope this is the one that really makes a difference. I have 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band. They are so expensive I really want to have the restriction I need. I will try to eat more protien and try to stay away from cheese. I did have a couple of pieces of chocolate last night. No other junk food yesterday. I did peddle yesterday for 11 minutes, I think I will try for 15 tonight. Stay strong, live long.

Not having a bad day, just an plain old same day. I have tried to keep busy. I have made up serveral packets for my scrapbooking weekend coming up. I need to make a plan for that weekend. Food of course, so that I don't get taken by surprise with the food. We have a suite I think,but don't know if it has refrig or anything like that. If I eat out I will need to figure out when to go and what to eat before I get there. I know bread is out, so won't be going to any hamburger joints. Need to find some place with good protien sources. Need to find if the hotel has a refrig first, guess I should call the place. If the have a refrig I will just take some stuff to make a salad with chicken or roast beef, or may ham. I don't like breakfast so could take my smoothie maker and have protien shake for breakfast. I really hadn't given this any thought till now. This is the first time that I will be away for the weekend. Really looking forward to that. I go next week for another fill I hope this is the one that really makes a difference. I have 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band. They are so expensive I really want to have the restriction I need. I will try to eat more protien and try to stay away from cheese. I did have a couple of pieces of chocolate last night. No other junk food yesterday. I did peddle yesterday for 11 minutes, I think I will try for 15 tonight. Stay strong, live long.

How many carbs are doing in a day. What kind of food do you eat in a day. How many calories. I'm trying to figure this out, but not having much luck. I get way to many fat grams and carbs. Congrat on the weight loss and doing your excercise.

What is it with the head hunger thing. It's really bad for me in the evening. I had a really good supper. I made this skillet dinner with ground beef, onion, rol-tel and cabbage and I had a bean salad. Right now I can't get it out of mind that I want something sweet. I don't really want pie or cake. I want cookies which has always been my down fall. I don't buy them anymore even for my husband. I know I would eat every last one in no time. I also love chocolate, but can usually leave candy alone. So why this almost uncontrollable feeling that I need something sweet. Does anyone else have this kind of feelings? I have alway done a lot of cooking and baking and this is very hard not being able to do this now. Oh well thanks for letting me get this off my chest tonight. Maybe it will help me get through this evening.

I really in a funky mood today, was yesterday too. I've decide to not have any junk food for a whole month and see if that really helps. I have such a sweet tooth. I don't mind the chips and stuff, but I don't let anything sweet set in my house for more than a couple of minutes. I need to wien myself from all sweets. I don't care for ice cream either it more of the cookies, cakes and some candy. Chocolate candy is a big weakness. I will be keep my sugar free candies, they are the cinnimon disks. I have to stay strong. I have not lost any weight for the last month. I really thought maybe I had the way I have been running to the bathroom to void all the time the last couple of days. Maybe it will take the scales a couple of days to catch up. I have been wearing my pedometer the last few day to see how little I walk. I want to a weeks worth of stats and then do a average and see if I can increase my steps by one hundred step per day for the next week. I want to get alot more active. I really disappointed in my DH cause he told me when I start this journey that he would walk with me. It hasn't happen yet. Maybe when it gets cooler he will decide to walk with me. I'm trying real hard to have a really good week this week. I'm keeping track of my food intake and will excerise every day this week. My excerise is peddling on my peddle machine for at least 10 minutes a day. I know that doesn't sound like much, but with my bad knees and my inactivity it is a big thing for me. WILL DO GOOD THIS WEEK. NO JUNK FOOD AND WILL EXCERISE EVERYDAY. THURSDAY 4289 FRIDAY 2345 SATURADAY 2149 SUNDAY 2952

I really in a funky mood today, was yesterday too. I've decide to not have any junk food for a whole month and see if that really helps. I have such a sweet tooth. I don't mind the chips and stuff, but I don't let anything sweet set in my house for more than a couple of minutes. I need to wien myself from all sweets. I don't care for ice cream either it more of the cookies, cakes and some candy. Chocolate candy is a big weakness. I will be keep my sugar free candies, they are the cinnimon disks. I have to stay strong. I have not lost any weight for the last month. I really thought maybe I had the way I have been running to the bathroom to void all the time the last couple of days. Maybe it will take the scales a couple of days to catch up. I have been wearing my pedometer the last few day to see how little I walk. I want to a weeks worth of stats and then do a average and see if I can increase my steps by one hundred step per day for the next week. I want to get alot more active. I really disappointed in my DH cause he told me when I start this journey that he would walk with me. It hasn't happen yet. Maybe when it gets cooler he will decide to walk with me. I'm trying real hard to have a really good week this week. I'm keeping track of my food intake and will excerise every day this week. My excerise is peddling on my peddle machine for at least 10 minutes a day. I know that doesn't sound like much, but with my bad knees and my inactivity it is a big thing for me. WILL DO GOOD THIS WEEK. NO JUNK FOOD AND WILL EXCERISE EVERYDAY. THURSDAY 4289 FRIDAY 2345 SATURADAY 2149 SUNDAY 2952

So far today no junk food. I really want something sweet. My sweet tooth is talking to me right now. If I can give up diet coke cold turkey, then I surely can give up sweets. Right.

I saw this on the June support groups thread. It was giving up junk food for the month of August. I admit that I'm a junk for junkie and have a huge sweet tooth. Anyone want to join me in a challenge for the rest of the month. NO MORE JUNK FOOD FOR ONE MONTH. Maybe it will stick and rid me of that bad habit.

Today is Dana's birthday, I can't believe its been 36 years since she made her enterance into this world. It would be a darker place without her. I'm feeling much better today. My weight is back down 2lbs, which is a great relief. I had a pretty good day yesterday. I peddled for 6 minutes and I wore pedometer all day. I did do shopping yesterday, so today I will have to get out and walk for awhile. I want to figure out how many step I take in a week. I will then have a average to work on and then I will start to increase my step count. I just have to do something to start this weight loss. I tryed to eat more protien yesterday. Most protien is hard to get down. I need to slow down my eating and chew better. I let myself get to hungry before I eat. I must work on that. It will be a wonderful day today. I can do this.

Today is Dana's birthday, I can't believe its been 36 years since she made her enterance into this world. It would be a darker place without her. I'm feeling much better today. My weight is back down 2lbs, which is a great relief. I had a pretty good day yesterday. I peddled for 6 minutes and I wore pedometer all day. I did do shopping yesterday, so today I will have to get out and walk for awhile. I want to figure out how many step I take in a week. I will then have a average to work on and then I will start to increase my step count. I just have to do something to start this weight loss. I tryed to eat more protien yesterday. Most protien is hard to get down. I need to slow down my eating and chew better. I let myself get to hungry before I eat. I must work on that. It will be a wonderful day today. I can do this.

I completly understand the head thing. I fight it all the time and I'm sure that is why I have not lost as fast as others have. Its still a mind control thing that I have to overcome. I'm sorry you have trouble with it, but glad I'm not alone. Thanks for the entry I need to hear this from someone else.

Got up this morning and was really depressed that I have gained 2 lbs, but what could I expect I haven't really been very good. I then decide I would have a good day that last a couple of hours. I didn't eat breakfast just started paying bills, well I really depressed after that and I sure enough I ate a peanut butter sandwich cookie that is filled with nuttella. Boy was that a hugh mistake, I was kicking myself like crazy. I then went ahead an ate lunch. Had chicken salad on cracker and cantalope. Not to bad and now I could eat a horse. So I had a couple handful of peanuts. Now I have to stay strong till supper. I have to go watch my grandkids for a little while this evening. I love seeing my grandkids they are so cute. So I also pick up a pedometer the other day and I put that on at noon and see how many steps I do per day. I want to increase my step count every day. It has a memory for the last seven days so hopefully I can do more each day. I really want to lose more weight and I have to make some tough decisions each day and I have to do this. If I want to lose weight. I know I still feel like I will never do this, and I sometimes feel like a big old loser that is never going to win. I sometime think I shouldn't even try cause its just not going to happen. I know it will come if I just stay strong and try to not get really down. I think I will try to stay away from the boards. I think I take so much personally that I let everyones success defeat myself. I wish I was that person that has lost 70 lbs already, but I'm not so I think if I quite comparing myself to other I will be better off. I have to keep writing in times like this so that I stay postive. I can do this. I just know I can.

Got up this morning and was really depressed that I have gained 2 lbs, but what could I expect I haven't really been very good. :car: I then decide I would have a good day that last a couple of hours. I didn't eat breakfast just started paying bills, well I really depressed after that and I sure enough I ate a peanut butter sandwich cookie that is filled with nuttella. Boy was that a hugh mistake, I was kicking myself like crazy. I then went ahead an ate lunch. Had chicken salad on cracker and cantalope. Not to bad and now I could eat a horse. So I had a couple handful of peanuts. Now I have to stay strong till supper. I have to go watch my grandkids for a little while this evening. I love seeing my grandkids they are so cute. So I also pick up a pedometer the other day and I put that on at noon and see how many steps I do per day. I want to increase my step count every day. It has a memory for the last seven days so hopefully I can do more each day. I really want to lose more weight and I have to make some tough decisions each day and I have to do this. If I want to lose weight. I know I still feel like I will never do this, and I sometimes feel like a big old loser that is never going to win. I sometime think I shouldn't even try cause its just not going to happen. I know it will come if I just stay strong and try to not get really down. I think I will try to stay away from the boards. I think I take so much personally that I let everyones success defeat myself. I wish I was that person that has lost 70 lbs already, but I'm not so I think if I quite comparing myself to other I will be better off. I have to keep writing in times like this so that I stay postive. I can do this. I just know I can.

I just don't understand why I feel I must eat, when I know there is junk in the house. I have the most uncontrolable feeling that I must eat it till its gone. I have been fighting it all day. I know that I don't need that junk, but I can't seem to help myself. I really thought that the desire to eat would go away, but it hasn't. I could just be bored, but don't think so. I could just be lazy, but not all the time. What is with the desire to eat and eat and eat. I know I must be trying to fill up a hole that is empty in my life, but what is that hole. That hole is big enough to suck in the whole ocean if I got close enough. Why is it when I can't sleep I think that eating something is going to put me sleep. Is that left over from being a child when you parents would feed you and put to bed. I really have to get serious about this I need figure all this out. I need to lose more weight so I feel better. I know that I'm already feeling better, but I want to feel great. I'm going to go to Texas in October and I would love to be at least 20lb smaller. It would make the air plane ride so much better. I guess that is my goal for now is to lose 20 lbs by October 17. That a good 10 weeks and thats only 2 lbs a week, thats not that much to ask for is it. I must excercise more, I did the peddle thing last nite for 10 minutes, I will try to work up to at least 30 minutes per day in the next two weeks. I need some good arm excersise also, maybe my bat wings will go away some. I just hate the big bump at the top of my elbows that seem to just hang out there. I will have to work hard to have them disappear. Oh well today has been pretty good. I just have to write more here to keep my mood upbeat. I have to remember my goals for the next couple of months.

I just don't understand why I feel I must eat, when I know there is junk in the house. I have the most uncontrolable feeling that I must eat it till its gone. I have been fighting it all day. I know that I don't need that junk, but I can't seem to help myself. I really thought that the desire to eat would go away, but it hasn't. I could just be bored, but don't think so. I could just be lazy, but not all the time. What is with the desire to eat and eat and eat. I know I must be trying to fill up a hole that is empty in my life, but what is that hole. That hole is big enough to suck in the whole ocean if I got close enough. Why is it when I can't sleep I think that eating something is going to put me sleep. Is that left over from being a child when you parents would feed you and put to bed. I really have to get serious about this I need figure all this out. I need to lose more weight so I feel better. I know that I'm already feeling better, but I want to feel great. I'm going to go to Texas in October and I would love to be at least 20lb smaller. It would make the air plane ride so much better. I guess that is my goal for now is to lose 20 lbs by October 17. That a good 10 weeks and thats only 2 lbs a week, thats not that much to ask for is it. I must excercise more, I did the peddle thing last nite for 10 minutes, I will try to work up to at least 30 minutes per day in the next two weeks. I need some good arm excersise also, maybe my bat wings will go away some. I just hate the big bump at the top of my elbows that seem to just hang out there. I will have to work hard to have them disappear. Oh well today has been pretty good. I just have to write more here to keep my mood upbeat. I have to remember my goals for the next couple of months.