lanelindsay

So it turns out I might have been having a reaction to my painkillers this entire time, and that's what was causing the overwhelming nausea.
 
Tramadol. Not quite an opiate which is why it was prescribed to me, because this little duck is allergic to opiates. Except it made me nauseous because the number one adverse effect of Tramadol is, low and behold, nausea.
 
I took that little pill every freaking night. And woke up the next day feeling like death. Not last night though, and today I feel SO SO SO much better!
 
So I'm praying that that was it, and I can go back to being human now. Maybe I might even be able to go back to work tomorrow!
 
*happy dance*
 
And can I say, in the absence of nausea, that I'm feeling otherwise pretty damned fine.

I'm 10 days post band replacement and today I returned to work, to start with a new client for my company.
 
Maybe it was because it was a new client and I'm very much in the 'must impress' mode that I ignored the lingering nausea and pain and took myself off there this morning.
 
I brought my hot water bottle with me as a concession though and it provided me with a good segway to explain to my client that I had recently had abdominal surgery. He was lovely and said he wasn't in a rush to start, would I prefer a few more days at home. No, silly me, I said I was fine and was fully intending to soldier on.
 
Well within an hour it wasn't looking so rosy. My port incision was throbbing from sitting upright and the nausea came back hard and fast. The client took one look at me and decided I was going home.
 
Except by this time I was unsteady on my feet (and trying hard not to dry retch) so it ended up that someone had to drive me and my car home with the client following behind in his car.
 
I'm in bed now but to be honest I'm not sure that I'm not feeling terrible just from the embarrassment. They've pushed back my start date to Wed but depending on how I feel it may be even later than that. I feel AWFUL! For me and the client.
 
Oh well at least it means I have been able to make an appt to see my surgeon this afternoon about my symptoms....

I've had a lot of surgeries. Initial lapband surgery, a torsoplasty, breast augmentation, 2 port revisions and now, finally, a band replacement. So pain and feeling horrible is something I can put up with, because I know it's for a greater good.
 
But this nausea might have me beat. It's day 3 of it with last night being the worst. I spent a lot of the night dry retching and feeling like absolute crud. I alternated between goosebumps and convulsing and then shivering and burping then dry retching all over again. When I did sleep I had nightmares.
 
I've lost 7lbs in the last week but I feel so awful that for the first time, I am regretting what I've given up for the weight loss. My 7yo son is visiting and is going home back to his dad tonight and all I can think of is how all he saw this week is his mum in pain or so sick she can't spend any time with him.
 
My partner is being awesome. He keeps reminding me that this is not just for today but what I needed to do for my quality of life in the future, but I guess right now, I can't see it. I can't see past how horrible I feel.
 
I've spoken to hospital and they've suggested medication to ease the nausea so I'm going to try that and hope I can salvage the rest of the day with my boy. I'm hoping that at least that regret, I will be able to work on.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

I am 6 days out and I am Starving! These protein shakes and clear liquids are not keeping me full like they were last week. Anyway I have cured my cabin fever I went to Target on Saturday I walked around the store for 30 minutes I came home that night and let out this amazing burp! (I know TMI) It feel so good and my shoulder pain and chest pain was gone instantly. I thought that was it until I woke up Sunday morning and everything came back. That afternoon I went to Sam’s with my mom and sister because I thought if I did the same amount of walking I did Saturday I would have the same results. Too bad that didn’t happened.

Yesterday my hunger kicked in. I was drinking protein shakes and broths to try to satisfied my hunger. It was helping at first but around 8pm the hunger came back. I had 2 popsicles while I was watching the St. Louis Blues and LA Kings hockey game last night. I had to stop watching it because I well yelling at the TV. I was yelling so much that I was afraid I was going to rip one of my incisions open! The Blues were playing terrible after the second period. But at least we are still in the playoffs!
 
I think I found a new hobby. I went to Lowes last night and brought an Herb garden for $10. I can grow this indoors and all I have to do is place my garden on my window seal. So I guess I have to wait to see how I do. Other than that I am doing fine just hungry I am thinking about calling my surgeon office and ask them if I can eat something like pudding until I see him on Thursday. It does hurt to ask right?
 
Thanks for reading.

This weekend has been harder than my last two weekends because the loneliness has finally kicked in. Yesterday I went to go see my primary doctor and she told me that I was fatigue and need to take it easy. This is hard for me to do because I am always on the go! I tried working out for 30 minutes yesterday but I only made it to 15 minutes. After that I was hungry so I had a protein shake because it was too early for me to have dinner.
For dinner last night I had some red bell pepper soup and a sugar free chocolate pudding. I ate until I thought I was full but I was hungry again around 10pm. So I had a sugar free fudgesicle but around 11pm I was hungry again WTF! This time I had a protein shake and that kept me full until 8 this morning.
Today I did little shopping and worked out for 15 min but I took a nap a couple minutes after my work out. I guess I over did it but I know it will take me some time to make my way up to 30 minute workout. Before the surgery and pre op diet I was doing 40 minute workouts.
I know my situation is only temporary because it this sorta sucks.
Thanks for reading.

I have been on mush for what seems like an eternity and very hungry. I FINALLY get real food on Monday and have no idea what to eat
I will have my first fill next week. I am a paranoid about food now, I have literally been starving myself because I feel like it will be harmful to eat.... (wow that sounds bizarre). Wish I could have had that mentality before being banded...lol. I do have a recipe I would like to try for my big day Monday of solids...just not sure.

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.