burnsun

My DH and I talked at great length about this this past weekend. I got my tax return back and paid off the loan for the band. He called it the best 10K I had ever spent. I sort of cried. I asked him if he was mad at me because I couldn't take it off (and keep it off) with programs like you mentioned. He then said the following. You never have been "diet crazy with this"; "you're the cheapest date now"; and I know you would not have done it if you didn't think it was the only way". I know he is right, but I too still feel like a failure. But I never never never could have stuck to a low calorie diet this long!!! My little friend lets me have what I want in just little amounts and I can eat just one oreo now (not the whole bag- never thought that was humanly possible & still don't buy them) or share a piece of cake with my three children at a party in stead of all of getting one so I can eat the extras. We can order an appetizer and I can share with dh and kids and don't need anything elso. I don't urges to want to kill anyone who can eat celery and carrots without dip or Peanut Butter, etc. anymore either

Colin & I have to take one (and so will Miranda) because we have heart issues (me rhuematic fever/scarlet fever and COlkin and Miranda- repaired issues with heart). THe doctor's thinking is that the "release" of bacteria that can occur when cleaning or during dental work can cause an infection to settle in any part of the body. Usually it is somewhere that has been compromised for some reason (specifically heart). So I took mine- glad I did to, this last trip in Feb- caused me to get in infected salivary glands and lymph nodes really bad and really painful and happened so quick. (29 hours after)- it took a different one to get rid of it, In theory - it could attack the band, but my primary care said there was about a million and half other places they would go first if band is in good condition and working order and since blood does not flow or a part of the band working process and the interior of stomach (if you swallow the bacteria) destroys it.

The only thing the band or my kids or having been pregnaNT OR GETTING CLOSER TO 40 THAN AWAY FROM IT or what ever has done. Is I really find myself looking for reasons to get off the couch and exercise. I never thought I would say that- but I am bitchier and nastier and more easily angered by my kids the days I midd exercising (or heaven forbid I miss about three- and dh will suggest maybe it is time for the treadmill or to go to the Y for a swim) Other than that I have learned that I can beat this too- but I wish I felt I had given myself the will power to stick to a 1200 calorie diet for as long the band has! But I couldn't do it and at least now I can eat the good stuff and the bad stuff (never thought a happy meal would make 2 or three meals for me in my life) Jane

I found the pre op diet the hardest part of my surgery and post band life!!!!. It was not required by my doctor, but I chose to do it because our follow up doctor recommends them and I was really concerned about making sure I could recover quickly!!! I used a GNC Protein drink properformanace 95 ( all soy protein) and skim milk with it and a little fruit, plus the jellow and the tea stuff 10 days 13 lbs and all ready for one last little meal in Mexico and it has been great since then!!!

I thouroughly understand your joy an enthusiasm (mom w/ two little ones with heart issues- and upcoming open heart procedure for littlest one in June). The day I found our Colin's l(patch through leg) had worked and he wouldn't need full open was one of the happiest of my life!!! Kiss him tonight for me and mine!

Oh- I wish it were a problem. My band lets the following things through with no stoping or fighting back: 1) POPCORN 2) RECE Peanut Butter CUPS ( THOUGH i ONLY EAT A MINI) 3) ANY TYPE OF CHOCLATE (AS LONG AS NOT CAKE OR DOUGHNUT) 4) ICE CREAM (BUT NOT WITH CAKE) 5) ICINING I thank the lord I usually don';'t keep much of that around house on any regular basis. But catch me at the wrong time of the month and I'll eat it all!!!

I bought a few size L clothes last fall for the summer when on sale for a couple bucks each- but they are even loose. I say chuck them or garage sale or ebay and go to good will/other type till you get closer to goal. I recently found out that a 10 lb difference at this weight is a whole lot in a size as we get smaller. I am sitting here in a 3x/4x lands end short out fit, and twice today adrian has "pulled my pants down" by tugging on them. I keep hoping to wait a little longer to get some summer stuff. So have fun!!!! And shop responsibly ps- I got to get on a small persons mailing list. I am too small for sillouttes and I love there clothes (OK their pants will fit my A$$ is still to big)

Same for dh and I & we had all the kids in the hotel. (under age three and in cribs)

BUt each banding practice makes their own choice. Just like doctors can prescribe a medicine for off market use. (IE- i take glucophage to help me with my PCOS symptoms of insulin resitance and other issues at using my hormones correctly, however it was not researched for this, some doctors will give it to anyone trying for a baby with other drugs since it makes you more sensitive for its use. But that is up to each doctor. But the original FDA approval was for people 18 to less than 60. So in theory if they want to exclude someone due to age- they can and our local one does (though he will fill her) Insurance may also seize on this as a reason not to pay since it "hasn't been tested in this market". (cause we all know that they love to pay for as little as possible- like the rest of us) Medicare also pays stuff differently depending on where you live and what region or plan you have. (jist like bcbs may pay in Maryland, but not in Missouri). Same with medicaid.

Since the USDA guidelines for their trials was 18 to 60 all of our local band doc will not operate on less than 60. FYI- you don't have to be 65 to get medicare. They are just usually the most common. They even have a code for pregnancy and tubal ligation and other typically thought of "younger person" woes. There are two ways I know of this can happen. First reason is that is at this point say Eric (my dh) died. My children can be eligible to purchase or receive depending on the child medicare because of their disability and under age 18 status. (under survivor benefits- part of ssa) also if you actually get disability as part of the ssa then you can purchase medicare as your coverage also. (because you usually can't get insurance on your own) But the official USDA approval was for under age 60 to age 18. Doesn't mean doctors in US won't do it, just not the ones we contacted and since no insurance benfit coverage anyways she tagged along with me to Mexico. ****Side note. I took my whole family- dh, and three chidren age 3 and under at that point. We had a great time and they were very accomadating. The hotel was terriffic and We loved the whole experieince. But I lived in Sothern Mexico for a while so I have a different perspective than some and no problem accepting the doctors credintials and such. I also believe I would rather have a great mexican surgeon than a US one that graduated last and squeaked by just becasue he is here in US.

We were both banded in July last year. I chise Mexico for a variety of reasons - number one I lived there once and have a great respect for the people and culture and I have freinds who went to school with my surgeon and knew him and they would have let him opreate on their children. I also believe that the US is not always the font of all knowledge that many people believe. My mother in law could not get banded in US because of her age 61 (no one over 60 allowed- even if paying cash at that time no matter what her bmi & other stuff) Personally I have done great and continue to loose. I have had one fill- I returned to Mexico for it, but we have follow up care here. It is getting more reasonable and the costs are droping here to make it more reasonable to afford here. I know people have lots of problems there tto- but our follow up guy here has about the same numbers of reported infections, etc. (at least if you trust the inamed stats) so I don't know if it is worse or not. Good luck and good loosing

I don't think I have ever got to say anything so stupid and be so excited at the same time. :banana :banana I crossed over int "one-der-land" early last week- but this morning it said 193 and I am officially a BMI of 29.3 (I am 5'8 1/2") so I have gone from super morbid to overweight and am really thrilled. I just keep thinking I have lost a whole person (from my heaviest- not my surgery) and when I lose this last 33 pounds- I'll have done what I never thought I could!!! I am so excited, happy and thrilled - I put on a large oh yeah a large 12/14 sund dress and if it weren't for my batwings - almost 6 1/2 inches of them- it would have been great (oh thank you for cute little spring cardigans) The only thing I am a little disappointed with (but I knew it was true) is how the newer clothes I am a much smaller size than my 15 year old- "skinny week" outfits. IE- new dress is 12/14 and fits same as a 1988 -90 dress size 18. But I don't care I FEEL FABULOUS!!!!! :banana :banana I really wish I could post more often, but all of the four little ones have had the "projectile stomach bug" on and off for the last 10 days and I am sort of always changing a diaper or cleaning up puke . But I do try to read & keep up.

change since I put up the photos of our new little one. SOrry I am the photo taker (since I never wanted mine taken- obviously) so I don't have one of just me. But we got this taken today at 192 (our first ever attempt at a fomral family photo) Here is the before (at my heaviest - when I got pregnant) about 330 lbs ***important***though not pregnant in this picture So I guess it seems like it was a person and half- but I have the batwings for both of us!!!!

I just wanted to post about the best 5 lbs and 3 oz I have ever gained. As many of you may have read on and off. My dh and I have two adopted children with sdown syndrome and a biological little one as well, well this past friday (4th) we took placement of another beautiful little girl. I have not been very active for the past few weeks (even reading as much) because I have been getting ready for her and trying to get bedding and stuff done and get all her social service stuff taken care of. Well here she is!!!! and here is the whole family!!!! And I am still working on that last pound till "onederland", but two weeks of fast food & restaurant food in a hotel in TX didn't help!!

I know the gentleman in the MO officce does. Because he is our local follow up (and who we call in case of emergency) We have seen him once- but not for a fill.

I got 2.7 at my first fill and it has been perfect (3 out of 4 weeks a month) That one week before I cycle- I am really tight and am lucky to get a solid thing down in the evening. The other three weeks it is just perfect. I am going back to see Dr. Martinez for a check up while mom gets a fill. I don't really need to get a fill, but she won't go alone and she needs one. But again I know not to compare, it works for me

I thought I was the only one. I could hide from camera and got really good at cropping out half of me to make the photo look better- thanks for digital camera!!! I would only have them taken when I had had to. Saturday- getting ready for my daughters 3rd birthday party (a big deal to me and I do get carried a way for every single one of my kids birthdays some people like wedding overdo parties) but it hit me Saturday that the person in the mirror was unrecognizable to me. SHe was thin (ok thinner) but she looked HAPPY and CCNTENT not rushed and frustrated. I still have about 50 lbs to go till I get to my 155 lb goal- but I am finally seeing a different person That is me with my little boy and I finally really look in a photo like I see in the mirror!!! THAT HAPPENED ON Feb 05 2005. By the way that is a Large jacket (still got the arm thing going on, but it is just vacuum sucked waddle now) and a size 14 top and 16 pants (I can't even remeber ever wearing 16 on the bottom in my adult life) I want to hear about every one elses realization day(s) When was your day of realization

to my oldest child too. He always has to stay when they do little same day procedures. They always tell us it will be 2 hours- but we always have to stay. (He is 4 years old). This does not happen to my little girl though)

I saved up all the money, had a date for Mexico in 2002. And found out I was pregnant (13 years of trying and two adoptions later) I had given up bc for 10+ years and was told I'ld win the powerball before I got pregnant. I had to cancel it (not for any of your reasons) I had no maternity insurance- so I needed the $ for the baby. I then had the little one in July 4th 2003. (I did go from 330 lbs to 296 lbs while pregnant then to 278 lbs after birth and hung out there for year) Started saving again and finally got my band in July of 2004. I am now at 208 !!!!!! See that 208 and I have a beautiful new daughter to share it with. It wasn't the way I planned, (surgery, then pregnancy 2 years later) but it will be three years this july and I am still in the same place as I would have been if I followed my plan. But the other plan was what really was meant to be!!!! I attached the before surgery b-day party for adiran (I am the fat one) & two photos of why it can be a good thing (I am about 217 ish here) and why this could be a good thing. I might not cancel your dr. surgery yet. Get it confirmed and see a heartbeat first (before the cancel it - maybe they can move it or postpone it till you are sure the pregnancy will carry to term (I don't mean to be a downer, but they don't all make it, and caucasian obese women have worse statisitics for pregnancy and obesity that other races do.) But congratulations!!! On pregnancy and banding!!!

I ACTUALLY LOST 5 LBS from December 1 to Jan 1> I was so happy- my goal was to make it w/o gaining!!! :banana I bet you can here me screaming!!! Today I put on a large jacket (ok it was strechy knit- but it said Large and it buttoned and I am so excited. The dress that goes with it is still way to tight for my pear shaped behind, but dh thought it looked great as I had jeans on still and I really only wanted the jacket for my little girls birthday party next month ( It has fishes on it and she is having a fish/nemo party) But it was a LARGE!!!!!!!! :banana :banana :banana OK the pictures are of me sitting by myself at my littleones Early intervention party (first of Decemebr) then me "riding" the stuffed reindeer (which I didn't weigh more than the directions so I made sure dh took a photo) and then the obligatory kids screaming and mommy w/ santa photo Have a great day Jane

I am a crazy Christmas decorating fiend!!!! Last weekend when I was decorating my 6th (of 9) trees in our house. I finally felt like I was losing!!! As I stood on the top of the step ladder, for the first time I was able to lean over without hitting tummy against the other decorated branches of fear of being to heavy for the ladder rating. I also never felt like I was out of balance or was going to fall. This was AMAZING!!! It encouraged me to clean out my closet- I got 7 bags of clothes to go to Good will I got rid of sizes down through 20 and all 2x (except 1 favorite sweater- I can't give it up). SO I officially only have size 18 stuff. The saddest part was I opened some boxes of clothes I put away (for after nursing- not accesible for baby easily) the last few months I was pregnant in 2003. I was looking foward to wearing them again- but alas I AM TO SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!! So out they went to I did keep my stupid strech pants they are 2x (about 5 pairs) but I am trying to make them last till spring- They are so loose it is sort of funny. I figure someday I'll be at walmart or schuncks and get arrested for indecent exposure when they fall off suddenly when my little(s) pulls on it to hard. I got a bunch of size 14/16 dresses last fall on sale (3$ and 5$ each) as well as capris and short sets. I can't wait for them to fit. I am sort of worried that I won't get to were them long, but I really am big boned. I always feel I will be an xl or a big L because I am 5' 9" with ape arms (and lets not forget the bat wings from hell) but I am so excited for the first time since surgery. I will try to attach a photo of before and after. NOTE: the tijuanna picture is the day after surgery at the cultural center we walked there witht he kids& the other is at my son'e birthday party on 11/20 (I have lost about 2 1/2 - 3 lbs since then)

Thanks Penny. Sometimes I don't see a big difference in photos, but I do feel the difference (I think I have the opposite problem of anoexcics - I don't see my self that big- I got worse photos from one of my kids therapists the other day. I only see it in photos) Jane

Oh- Lisa do I have lots and lots of MIL stories- She and her mom moved in with us when her pension got ate up by enron and dh & I could not pay her bills at her hpouse and ours. Nana (grand mil) just outlived all her $ after almost 5 years in assisted living and was not ready for nursing home yet. Tops on my list (DH has his own list) 1) Nana (Grand mil) has a stroke and she won't take her to hospital because she wants me (7 months pregnant to take her) Then she won't stay with her or help find her a nursing home (if I stick my fingers in my ears it is not happenin) 2) She hates the way I cook- and the smells (because I use more spices than salt & pepper 3) Weall went to Disney & paid (I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and over 300 lbs) witht he two youngest for 2 weeks and she rented one of those scooter cause she was so tired after 1st day an had trouble walking. As well as she seemed to know where every bathroom was and we had to stop and visit each one 2 times a day (remeber I was the pregnant one and with two little ones under 3) I'ld attach the photo- but she tried to delete them all from the camera (DH favorite) 4) We got banded together (she was forever asking me what to do- like I haven't sent her all the info or Jessies book or etc) and still buys Cookies and bread- only white, Pasta, and cakes and won't drink her Water (it makes her pee to much - (see disney story). I can't get her to even use the treadmill try curves or go to h20 aerobics with me. Then she wonders why she isn't loosing like me!!!! It drives me nuts (and she feeds some of that junk to the kids- so I feel like the bad guy when I say no or make the homemade bran oatmeal cookies) ***note she does have her own kitchen in a inlaw suite thing- THANK GOD! 5) But my new number one for the day happened last night. I went christmas shopping - took to long. Called and told her to feed the kids some of the homeade pizza (wheat & rye crust) and grapes for dinner. I get home at 7:$5 she says they ate. I put them to bed, and find pizza in fridge at about 10:30, I go ask her what they ate, she say "Oh cake" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So all my kids wake up at various hours of the night screaming and very hungry. I didn't get any sleep and am a little peeved Please note I do love her very much :bandit and I almost like having her this close (her own house a few feet away from mine would be nicer, and she is loosing - just really slow (she is older and very sedentary!!- even when watching the three little ones and she won't go for a fill without me and I don't need one) Gotta love her (since I can't kill her) The kiddos would miss their nana

What a super job!!!!!!!!!! I love to see living proof that the high BMI's can do it!!!! Iget so tired of the drs pushing other stuff for us.

1) world peace and no one to kill anyone over any conflict 2) the cure for aids (to save africa and asia and those in the us/europe who do seem to be forgotten) 3) every child in foster care to have a wonderful PERMANENT place to call home (DH - says not with us- we can only take six) and never to "Age out" without parents 4) Lisa to get her port 5) My loan for surgery paid off 6) My farm to sell (on market since 9/11/01) AND TO GET AT LEAST ENOUGH TO BUY SOMETHING 7) Whatever DH wants and or needs. I always run out $$$ by the time we get to us (but he did have the best time working on Colin's train table yesterday- bigger better and cooler than most) 8) Acceptance for all people with disabilities and mental retardation and mental illness (It hurts when I see kids make fun of my little 4 year old) 9) My MIL to get her own house (on my property) and out of mine 10)The winning powerball ticket (OK it is just a big dream- but it could help with a lot of the above - and I could buy Lisa a new port)