mrsto

I think you're so right about some people getting drunk on the attention. It's like a hunger; a feeding of a part that was starving & had never been filled. When I lost close to 100 pounds several years ago, I dated like CRAZY. I was in my early 40s, but never came into my own until then. After time it got really old, and then I met my wonderful husband; supportive, kind, caring, strong character.....a man who loves "me", in spite of the weight I've gained over the 8 years we've been together. I'm one who can honestly say that my marriage won't end because of WLS. When you find your prince (or princess), the attention of others is only in your peripheral vision.

YES - stay on track and find the life that you deserve! But you have to believe that YOU deserve it. Clearly your husband does have issues, but that is a toxic environment in which to live, and you should not have to bare the brunt of his inadequacies.

Terry - really.....85% of WLS patients divorce?

After many years in and out of therapy, and an in-patient eating disorders program, I pretty much know what my issues are; who, what, when, where, why....all of it. I haven't been in therapy for many years now, but what I do know is that we are never cured of this problem. Understanding the reasons and identifying the triggers is very important, so we can try & find other ways to deal with "whatever", when we are feeling pulled toward food. The problem with food addiction over any other, is that we must eat to survive. We can never put it down & say that we'll never eat again. What we can do, is fill our arsenal with alternative activities, instead of eating. There are times when this is easier than others, and the desire to overeat, or eat for the wrong reasons, never really goes away. We just have to learn different behaviors to deal with it. I had always hoped that one day I would have this epiphany, and my compulsion for food would simply disappear. Therapy is a really good idea to help get in touch with what's really going on emotionally, but it doesn't take away the addiction; just provides better tools to deal with it.

YAY for you, Rosei! I can't wait for my day....right around the corner How long will you be in the hospital?

Lionbird - I feel ya! I'm having surgery on Monday, and I've also been through the tidal wave of feelings. And with the pre-op diet, it's beyond difficult not being able to eat to DEAL with these feelings! Lets face it......food has been our best friend; our confidant....our "go to" source of comfort when we're down, sad/depressed, happy.....all feelings are dealt with by eating. Our love of food goes deeper than just it tasting good. And there will be (already is) a grieving for the loss. When I start to freak out about "what am I going to do when I want to absolutely shove it in with both hands", I think about all of the other things I will be able to do. Number one being....feeling comfortable in my own skin. As much as I know that nothing can possibly taste as good as that will feel, there will still be that empty void that I will have to find another way to fill. My plan for this is to get outside and walk, hike...just about anything physical to get me out of myself. And I will lean on the support groups at my doctor's office, etc. Speaking of pre-op diets... My doctor's isn't quite as stringent as some that I read here. It's two weeks on 1200 calories; very low fat. The last two days are full liquids. Yesterday I had to fly up to see a client (I'm typing from my hotel), which is something I never do. I was already thinking about wine on the plane, going to some great restaurants, bakeries.....everything with this getaway, I was thinking about eating venues. Then I was like....oh sh-t, this isn't going to be any fun, I can't EAT! How sad is that?! Anyway, the plane was delayed, I got lost from the airport to the hotel, and by the time I got to my room it was 8:30pm. Hadn't eaten since 11am, and ordered room service. Ate ALL the chicken, potatoes, and even some bread. I guess I had some restraint, because I didn't eat ALL of the bread. I'll try & redeem myself today. I did pack some ready made Protein drinks, and I'll just have to make sure that I don't get so ravenous that I can't control myself. Lionbird, please let us know how you're doing after your surgery. There are a whole lot of people on this sight who completely understand what you're going through. We didn't wake up one day like this. It's been a life progression, but the great news is that we're all doing something about it. I wish you ALL the best on Thursday.

Wow - I'm getting banded next Monday, and I hope I come through it like you! Congrats on the surgery. Wish I could comment on your question, but I'm still in the pre-op stage. You're on your way - good luck!

I kind of figured that. And if a rash is what they require as medically necessary, then I'll make sure I get a rash

Fabulous! I can't wait to reach a milestone

Rosie - there are some clear liquid Protein drinks in fruit flavors. The brands are Isopure and Cytosport. But I'm sure there are more. If you have Vitamin Shoppe where you live, go in a check it out. They have a lot of stuff to pick from. Other than that, I feel your pain. When I do even one day of clear liquids for a colonoscopy, I'm SO done. My doctor has us on clear liquids the first three days, then we switch to full (creamy) liquids. That lasts up to day 10, then we can add mushy foods. But is sounds like your doctor is conservative, and wants to make sure that you are healing properly before adding any extras. That's not a bad thing!

I read your profile and applaud your success. Though we all may have different demons, the common thread is using food to cope with life. It's a curse, and I feel hopeful that this time around will be very different. I'm 57 years old, and my body cannot take it anymore. I too feel that I sold my husband a lousy "bill of goods". Though my weight was on the upswing when we met (had already gained 25 pounds) I was still exercising and wearing a single digit size. Little did he know that I was on my way up, which continued to where I am today. We've been together for close to 8 years, and even though I'm a larger version of the me he met, he loves me for me. His concern is my health, because he wants us to live a long life together, and be able to enjoy an active lifestyle. He NEVER rags on me about my weight or what I eat. And he still thinks I'm beautiful, in spite of the excess baggage. As wonderful as the love and acceptance is, I still beat the hell out of myself. We are our own worst enemies, and I too struggled with serious depression at many different times in my life. I can't help but think that it comes with the territory. But as long as we stay true to ourselves, and get through each day doing something positive for our health, it can only improve.

Jim - I know all of those feelings; sitting in a chair....not squeeeeezing into it. Jeans fit, rings fall off, etc. When I lost close to 100 pounds 15 years ago, I experienced all of that. One would wonder how I could let it slip away, but that's why we're all here, now.

Jim - I think it's great that you and your wife will both be on the same track. It really helps, and will open the door to many new "healthful" things you do together; walking, hiking, biking......whatever you like to do. But it's great when shared together

Thanks for the explanation.. I hope to be writing about some NSVs very soon!!!

This may be a dumb question, but what does NSV stand for? I've seen it in different forums, and I can't quite figure it out.

I keep telling my husband that eating with me is going to be very different. He tends to eat quickly, and when we go out he's going to either slow down, or sit there & wait for me to finish. He knows it's healthier for him to eat slower, so he's looking at this as a way to improve his own health. When he was young, his family had very little money & food wasn't always plentiful. Though he does not have a weight issue, he cannot waste food; can't throw it in the trash, no matter how bad it is. With my upcoming surgery, I'm preparing him that some food might be left at the restaurant, or some might go into the trash. Though I do not like to waste food either, I'm okay with it....sometimes. Struggling with my weight most of my life, there have been MANY times I'd stuff myself silly & throw the rest of whatever (the evidence) away. Excess food is better in the trash, than inside and out of my body

I would call your doctor ASAP and let them know what's going on. I haven't been banded yet, and can't comment from experience. But what you're experiencing doesn't sound normal, and all the vomiting can cause the band to slip. Best to get it checked out sooner than later.

My neighbor told me that insurance will pay for one plastic surgery after WLS. Does anyone know about this? She had a gastric bypass, and is now funding the north wing of her plastic surgeons home - LOL! But she did say that her insurance paid for the first surgery. She's had it ALL done; arms, legs, hips, face, breasts..... A little over the top, but it makes her happy :-) She is in her mid-60s, though.....and I can't think going under the knife so many times can be a good thing. But I'll tell ya, if insurance pays for one, I'm SO there!!!

Congrats to both of you!! I love reading these posts! With my surgery just around the corner, it's so helpful to hear of great success with the band

I'm going to have the plication done with my band a week from today. I'm doing it for this very reason. From what they know at this point, it dramatically minimizes the potential for slips, and fills are less frequently needed. That, and that it reduces the stomach capacity to 1/4 of normal capacity.

The band will help with how much food you eat at one time, but it will not help you make the right choices of what to eat. Can you eat a pint of ice cream with the band? YES, you can. Can you eat two slices of pizza? NO, most likely, not. Band or no band, it's up to you to do the work. There aren't any guarantees, so if this seems like an easier avenue to get to where you want to be, you may want to re-think it. I don't know where you are located, but Overeaters Anonymous may be a helpful venue for you. I totally understand the head trips, and issues of distorted body image. I've been very thin; actually a bit too thin at one point. Even then, when I looked in the mirror I saw more weight to lose. For your sake, I hope venturing out into something pretty extreme for where you're at, doesn't bring on more serious issues for you down the road; physically and emotionally. I wish you all the best.

I know that some other countries do not adhere to some of the strict criteria we have here in the USA. Though the LB is the least invasive weight loss surgery out there today, it's still surgery, and comes with risks. Any doctor, no matter where they are from, who would consider surgery on someone with your stats, should have their medical license revoked. That's just my humble opinion.

I'm not a doctor, but going through surgery and such an extreme life change, seems like a lot for a relatively small amount of weight to lose. I don't know how tall you are, but unless you've been ALL over the map with large weight fluctuations, I can't imagine that a doctor would perform this surgery on you.

Is 150 the highest weight you've ever been?

Parisshel - LOVE your post Articulate and OH so true! I especially love the comparison to the nicotine patch, and how a LB is the patch for the obese. I will keep that in my back pocket, and use it when negativity comes my way. And you are so right about suffering not being virtuous. A very close friend of mine's husband lost a lot of weight; exercises on a regular basis, and is obsessed with staying on his program. I applaud him for what he has achieved, and though he's become a zealot, I totally get it. What I DIDN'T like, was his comment to me to "do it the right way". This was before I seriously considered WLS, but he was eluding to my previous use of diet pills. My last comment in my above post about the "sanctimonious", was a direct response to that interaction with him. 15 years ago (and other times as well), I dropped 90 pounds with diet pills. I maintained that loss for a good 5 years, but let it start slipping, blah blah....we all know the story Though I had great success (to me, 5 years maintaining a size 6 was great success), it was still "the wrong way" to him. Though I have not mentioned this surgery to him, I'm sure my girlfriend has, and I'm sure he has strong opinions about it. He told me that he will NEVER be fat again, and I told HIM that his use of the word "never" was scary to me. How many times have any of us lost a lot of weight & thought we had it licked? With this disease, we're NEVER (I'll use the word now) cured; we can only take it (not to be cliche) one day at a time. Thanks again for your post.....it really hit home.