kathp

Chosing to tell or not tell is a personal choice. I am a "damn the torpedos" kind of person and let everyone know what was going on. If they didn't like it, the hell with them. I needed the support of everyone I could get it from on facebook, so I was pretty public about the pre-op journey. However, medical issues are private and you're allowed to keep them that way. I had some complications with some medications post-op and was off work for another three weeks two months after surgery. I didn't tell anyone the details. If they asked, I said I was OK now, thanks, and let it go. I do think it's a shame that WLS has such a stigma that people face negativity and feel they have to lie or hide that they're taking care of their own health. People hate cancer, and other diseases, but they hate fat people, not fat. We can choose to educate the world about the surgery and that it's NOT the easy way out (at all!) or we can choose to be private, and both choices are valid. And some people can choose both, depending on the situation. Family is tricky. If they aren't going to be supportive, don't get into it with them. It's not worth the extra stress to argue/defend yourself. But I also wouldn't work up a good lie, either. Medical issue. Period. Thanks for your concern. How's the weather? Good luck!

I was sleeved May 13 and returned to work June 3. My surgeon makes people stay off at least 2 weeks (2 and some, because it's two weeks from release, not date of surgery). I stayed off a little longer so that I wouldn't be starting work on the first day of a new diet phase - I strongly recommend planning on that - either be adjusted to working before you start a phase, or start the phase and then adjust to working. I had three phases - liquid, puree, and soft. I started back once I was on puree - I made one recipe, popped it in ice cube trays and had lunch for work for the whole time I was on puree! My job requires me to be up and moving, as well as at my desk. I don't do heavy lifting too often, and I had been in good shape from the pre-op diet and exercise before surgery. Everyone is different - listen to your body.

I'm five months out. I have issues with my skin not healing well, and I'm allergic to steri-strips and bandaid adhesive so they had to use just glue on me. I have a few spots that have bigger scars from scabs versus just the lines of the incisions. But I agree with laura-ven in terms of not trading them for being fat! I think I have stretch marks from fat that are worse than some of the scars. And they'll fade, or I will continue to not care. My flabby arms are going to be more of an issue (flying south could be an option)... and I'm working out regularly

I would check the paperwork on the check they sent you. Then I would carefully pay the next bill from the surgeon and ask for the "paid in full" statement for the account and keep it for your records. If there's a difference, I would keep it, too. As long as the check doesn't require being signed by them or say it's to be handed over, why not? Just don't cause yourself legal issues...

I have heard a lot about people having relationships change after surgery. I think part of it is that we find our confidence as the hidden us is exposed and we come out of our fat shells. I also think part of it is that we have been slotted into the "invisible" fat friend role for so long that no longer being invisible is hard for some people to handle. The fact that your friend has a therapist and is willing to work on the trigger, instead of jumping on you right away and blaming you without cause, is a good thing. Work together and be stronger, instead of being apart. But know that you _are_ changing. Good luck Kathy

I was walking on day 1. By 4 weeks I had gone back to working out, because I felt able to do it. I noticed I was getting kind of dizzy if I overdid it / didn't eat properly (or time it right) prior to the workout. The only thing I would worry about would be your abdomen, because you don't start with sit-ups. So if your dog yanks you along and it pulls on your stomach, I'd say no, but why not, otherwise. Don't go from 0 to far from home right away - go in small loops around a block first, say, so you get a feel for how far you can go, personally, instead of how far you "should" go. Then get adventurous.

Ignorance is a wonderful thing. NOT. You can chose to educate, chose to pick back, or just ignore them. My response depends on who it is, what they say, and what my hormones are saying at the time. Today we went to the local fair for lunch. Someone asked how I got a salad - I didn't, it was a skewer without bread and there was a lot of lettuce and tomatoes and I had eaten the meat already - while they chowed down on fried food (and it smelled good). I went for the company. The fried food was killing me, but only slightly. I missed the idea of it, and wasn't hungry once I ate. They are all miserable right now, and I still feel good and had a nice afternoon in the sun. Choices. It's all about choices. I'm feeling very philosophical right now. Later on, I might scream. Hormones

I don't want to be harsh, but surgery is a serious step. I've been seeing a lot of people on the various support groups I belong to who don't have a high BMI or don't have a lot of weight to lose who are struggling after surgery. I have lost and regained 75 lbs before on my own (with WW). I lost 60 lbs before surgery just through the medically supervised diet required by my insurance (even though I was only required to lose 10 lbs). Post-op is a major life change. Surgery is not an easy way out, by any means. And if you're approved to have it, you have the whole thing. Your pouch is your pouch size, and it's because you need it that size. If you think you'll need to "eat more" to stop losing as much, you don't understand how it works. I've slowed down my loss because I'm not as big. It gets harder to lose weight as you get thinner. Statistically sleevers only lose 50% of their excess weight by 1 year (don't quote me, no one flame me, that's just the numbers I've heard, and I'm breaking that myself, so I'm not a slave to them). So, it's not like you just keep losing until you fade away. Do your research. And think hard about what it is you're looking for.

It only makes sense to ransack the closet as things get too big. I save the closet cleaning for days when I still feel "fat" despite the over 100 lbs weight loss. Because despite the loss, some days I can try on new clothes and the weird sizes don't make sense and make me feel fat, so my best judge is seeing how the clothes I already own are too big. Besides, it's free to try them on, I already own them. Good luck!

My surgeon keeps saying he is operating on our stomachs and not our brains. And some people out there just need more help on their brains and not really any help on their stomachs (Oops, that's judging, isn't it?) Seriously, I think you took a positive step towards YOUR health. Choosing to share what that step was (surgery) is your choice. I shared. You are under no obligation to share. However, you should be confident in your loss and in your new health and your new look and how good you feel. Don't feel you should hide because of how someone else acts. Having said that, if you value these friends, for whatever reasons, you don't need us to approve. You just need to realize that the problem is theirs, and while they may never accept that they are really healthy, their issue is not yours. But don't let them derail you! I have a friend who has had surgery and still says she's fat, because she just can't get the mental image out of her head. And she fits into a size 2 these days. And looks dang good doing it! So, everyone has issues. I just know going into a converasation with this friend that she's going to say she's fat and I choose to remind her she's not. I don't personalize her comments to mean that I'm fatter. She's actually supportive of me and knows she's got an issue, really. But, if these other people don't acknowledge they've got an issue, you can chose not to associate with them, or you can chose to let their issues be THEIRS. Self image and how to deal with it is vastly under-recognized with bariatric surgery. But I think it's under-dealt with in general, with everyone. Some days we could all use some prozac sprinkled on the corn flakes. LOL. Congrats on your success! Celebrate the new you! Be confident, you've earned it!

Ladies, I volunteer! I don't know how good I'll be, but my surgery date was May 13, 2013 and I'm an email junkie I have lost 55 lbs since surgery. I have my weigh in numbers from the 2, 4, and 6 week check-ins at the doctor. But I want to tell you, like you'll hear until you want to scream, everyone is different. We had major surgery! They yanked out part of our body! You're healing! Follow your doctor's advice about your diet phases (they sound slightly different than mine), and put the scale away! Only weigh once a week. Remember that as you heal you're only getting in a minimum number of calories just because of swelling and stuff. So you lose a lot, and then your body starts hoarding everything, and then you adjust and start losing again. So it's a bit wonky at first. The weight will come off. It has to! Our surgeon's office had a In-Body body composition scale, and it could spit out what your resting metabolic rate is, which is how many calories it takes for your body to function. So, at my pre-op weight of 268 and 5'10" tall, my resting rate was 2100 calories. At my 3 month appointment (around 220 lbs, I think), It was still around 1800-2000 calories. (my numbers are at home) So since I'm only getting around 1000-1200 calories a day, I'm losing weight. It's not fast, but it's still losing. And I say it's not fast, but I'm apparantly still on "bypass rate" in terms of my average weight loss. I did lose a lot pre-op, which put me in good shape for post-op recovery and getting back to the gym. But don't rush going back to the gym. Walking and sipping are the initial things to do, until you're back at full calories (the new "full", about 1000 / day) so that you don't pass out (which I came close to doing until I remembered about the major surgery!). Keep hydrated. Keep getting your Protein. Because you want to lose fat and not muscle. Things will happen, but we didn't get overweight overnight, so we won't get thin overnight either. As I said, I volunteer to help. I'm on the board generally at lunch, but send me a private message if you want my email address for outside of here... Good luck!

I feel your pain. Thankfully my experience wasn't similar, but I understand not wanting to have to fork out the money for the deductible again. The best you can do is follow their instructions and work out your frustrations at the gym instead of with food. Kill them with kindness. It's easier to say than do, I know.

My team told us that we should take at least 10 minutes to eat and no more than 20 minutes, and to have 5-6 eating points (including shakes) during the day (6 for the first 6 weeks, and then only 5). So if it takes an hour for a Protein drink, that's OK, but chewing something and having it take longer than 20 minutes isn't good. What I did notice is my chest would hurt if I ate TOO FAST just as if I ate TOO MUCH. It's hard to learn, especially when eating so little. We're supposed to stop drinking 15 minutes before eating and for 1 hr after eating. I was able to hit my protein goal (85 g) and Fluid goal (64 oz) after the first week after surgery. If you're still struggling, I wonder what you're actually eating? Are you doing high protein foods? I had very little other than meat and protein in the first 6 weeks, to the point where I was craving a salad. I have learned to add veggies back in, but it did take a while before it wasn't just the tomatoes or Beans in the chili! And if you're eating the "right" type of food, I'd call and ask your team if you still struggle to get the food in. Maybe there's something wrong, because I don't recall it being that difficult. It got tricky the first day or so of a new diet phase (liquids to puree to soft to regular) because I could eat less than the day before again, but other than that it was pretty straightforward. Good luck everyone!

I noticed a lot more skin issues right after surgery, and they slowly got better. I think it's the body saying, oops, got to heal this big thing right now, I'll get back to you little stuff. I also think it's very possible it's a medication reaction (sometimes they do that, and if you're not processing it all like you used to...) As to the morning issues - I take thyroid medicine and can't eat for half an hour after, and if they all have to be spaced out... definitely ask the doctor! Good luck, and don't worry about ranting! We all do it, or need to do it, sometimes.

Good luck!

I was scared pre-op. I had lost a lot of weight pre-op and was wondering if I should still have surgery. But I wanted the permanent change. People now think "well, you won't want to go out to eat with us". Not true. I think the same is true about the cruise. It's a matter of recovery time - you can't go the first six weeks, and I'd wait until you had practice on eating regular food. But I go out to eat and I survive. I've even eaten at buffets. I have a good eye for how much 1c is, and I know portion sizes of meat. I track the Protein, if not all the calories. I would check about Protein shakes if it's the first year, maybe bring a whey isolate powder that will mix easily and a Blender Bottle. Then just get skim milk. But you can easily eat just meat from sandwiches or burgers, and I even do salads with grilled chicken. I'm only 4 months out and feel like there's nothing I can't do! Good luck!

Call your team.

I sure hope it doesn't stop you. Yes, there's a high protein goal, but you're not having it all in one sitting. I would actually ask the nephrologist, too.

I have the same problem, and I know of others who have lost a lot that have the same problem. Goes along with being cold in temperatures that used to be comfortable or too warm... Mine is more just sore from sitting too long and having lost the padding. Yours sounds like something else might be wrong if it's getting worse. Maybe your spine is readjusting or something. Do you see a massage therapist or chiropractor? Or even your doctor. (standard disclaimer on my medical advice, just thoughts, of course).

Official weigh in this morning - down 55 lbs since my pre-op history and physical (H&P) which is how their stats are generated. Down 112 overall. Target for me, for 6 months, is to be at 195 (I'm 5'10"), which would be 50% of excess weight loss, and is a bypass target, versus a sleeve target. Woot! I'm down from a size 24 pants to a size 16 (non W), and from a 48DDD to a 40DD (please, get smaller). And I noticed this morning that my gym bag actually smells like I work out, for the first time in my life

It sucks to have to cancel a trip you planned for, but I think you'll be happier to be closer to home and not need to be than to be stuck somewhere off the mainland and want to be home. I wish you all the best with the diagnosis and treatment as a family! Cancer sucks. And congrats - 45 years is a huge accomplishment! (I struggle with 45 minutes with some people!)

My mom flew in to take "care of me" and was only in town while I was in the hospital. I don't have kids, so I was only "feeding" myself my liquids. However, I came home on a Wed, and she went shopping when I took a nap. She flew out very early Thursday morning. I drove myself to a doctor appointment on Friday. It took me a little longer (a lot?) to get ready than I was anticipating, but by Monday I was bored! So, remember everyone is different, plan some meals for the kids and some stuff to keep them occupied that doesn't involve you, and don't worry too much. You won't need much taking care of. Also - I ended up needing a ride to the doctor a week later because of a med interaction problem, and I called a quilting buddy. It killed me to ask for help, but they were glad to pitch in. Good luck!

At three months I was averaging about 1000 calories (that's where I am now, too, at 4 months). I can't remember where I was at 6 weeks, sorry. However, I was hitting my Protein. I had trouble with working out if I didn't have protein before I worked out and a snack after. I would get dizzy. My nutritionist and the exercise physiologist both said if you don't have time to eat properly yet have time to work out like a fiend, you're out of balance: 80% nutrition and 20% working out. So, are you hitting your protein and Fluid goals? That will make as much difference as the workout. Unless you're craving the workout. I'm working out about three times a week, doing cross-training/circuit type stuff (cardio and weights in the same workout) and have been doing OK with the weight loss. I'm sort of stalled now, but I'm not tracking my food and that's the bigger issue. Kathy

Yes, you're normal. It's like being fat is a security blanket, and it's hard to let it go. But you know it's a step in growing up (keeping that metaphor) and you are looking forward to it but some days you don't want to do it. Trust me, the thin you inside is going to be so excited at what you can do and how good you'll feel physically. But some days you'll want to crawl back inside and hide. Definitely not for the faint of heart. But nothing worth having is easy. Best of luck!

So, at what point do I determine that my unhappiness is unrelated to the changes in my weight? I'm miserable at work, I'm bored with food (since I can't eat that much, and I don't like to cook, it's a hassle and I'm bored with it already, and not being hungry I don't get a taste for anything), and I feel like my friends have abandoned me. Gee, I sound so much fun no wonder no one wants to be around me. How long do I live in limbo post-op before I determine that it's OK to make some other changes? I have a job interview, but I'm scared to hope for the new job, and scared to leave the one I have (even though it makes me crazy and there are real reasons it won't get better). I'm scared to make new friends, and the old ones have put up with a lot and are kind of fed up. Or, they aren't being very supportive of the changes and are not worth my time (I see that, but it's not easy). So what the heck do I do? (I see my therapist tonight, honest, just need to rant; looking to know that this is normal?)