MCE

The Beginning
Growing up I use to tell everyone I was born fat so I am going to die fat! My story starts on July 28th 1983 my wonderful mother gave birth to a beautiful 10 pound baby girl…. Me! My parents told me I was the biggest baby in the hospital and I was proud of that. Who ever thought that this was the beginning of my obesity life. I am not going to sit here and writing about how I was teased when I was growing up and how I eat everything is sight because I will be lying to you guys and I am many things but I lair I am not. I was never tease about my weight growing up.
 
So what cause me to become plus size diva? One word boredom. I was never athletic in school but I was involved in a lot of different activities like girls scouts, drama clubs and etc. Majority of the time all I did was eating junk food and when I was at home I was eating junk food either because I was bored. Fast forward to my high school life preferably my Senior year. Me and my best friend (Note: Just in case you are wondering we are still best friends!) were going to join the Air Force together but I had to lose 40 pounds in order to join. Guess what? I did as a matter of fact and I lost about 60 pounds. Impressive Right? Too bad I inherited my dad’s feet and could not join because I have no arch in my feet. True Story! I was devastated but life goes on and so did my weight.
 
Life in my 20’s the yo-yo dieting years!
Who wants to play I’ve been on that diet game? Since I couldn’t join the armed forces I decided to work for the government and started going to college. I always struggle with my weight and I spent most of my twenties trying out different diets. I gain back 50 pounds that I lost before with a new set of boobs. No I didn’t get a boob job I think 20% of my weight gain went to my boobs. For the longest time I have maintained my weight from 225 to 235. Then all of a sudden I was either losing a friend and a relative every year. I took my frustrations out by eating food. I am an emotional eater and I can admit that. My last diet that I was on was Weight Watchers I actually did pretty well on it until I hit a plateau then I never got back on track. I learned how to accept weighing at 250 or 255 and maintaining that. Until August of last year… For the past 4 years I’ve been maintaining my weight 250 to 255 but this time around my Wii fit (my scale) Said 267! I swear I thought my Wii fit was lying. Until I weighted myself on several scales at work and I found out the harsh reality.
 
Why I chose to have the lap band….. A Quarter life mid crisis!
After many bottles of beer and soul searching, I told myself “I gave obesity my 20’s I refuse to give obesity my 30’s!” I decided to start working on a better me. I watch a Weight Management seminar online to get a better understanding on my surgical weight lost options. I immediately knew if I was going to pick a WLS it was going to be the Lap band. Why, because I didn’t want my stomach to be cut in half, my inside to be rerouted and etc. Sorry but that does not sound healthy to me. I didn’t wake up and said I was going to get the lap band this was a 7 month process. I wanted to try to lose weight on my own first but at the same time I went to a local support group to help me with my final decision. I am glad I went to a local support group because some of the YouTube videos I found scared the crap out of me. October I made my decision to get the lap band. On February 9th I got my approval letter from my insurance company and 2 months later (April 9th) I got my surgery date May 1st 2013! I am looking for to my healthier lifestyle and a new me! My goal is to be 20 pounds lighter on my 30th birthday! Wish me luck!
Thank you for reading

I was banded a little over a year ago, I've lost over 80 pounds and I am at my goal weight. I also drink wine every evening. I don’t hide this from anyone. I have posted such information several times and when I get PM’d about it I answer honestly.
 
I knew when I decided to get the band that I would have to change my life and I was more than willing to do just that. But, I was not willing to give up my wine. I enjoy wine, I like the taste. My husband & I often go wine tasting at some of the Texas wineries. So, I decided that wine was going to be a part of my lifestyle.
 
From day one (& before) I have enjoyed my evening wine. Yes, the evening of my surgery I had a glass.
 
I count the empty calories (110 calories for 5oz of wine, approximately) and I am careful. I know that wine relaxes the band right along with you. So if you drink too much and the munchies set in…..everything will go down & then some.
 
I am responsible with my wine. I don’t drink for the effect of the alcohol. I drink wine because of the taste.
 
You wonder, does my doctor know? Of course he does, I tell my doctor everything. Hiding information from your doctor only hurts you.
 
My thoughts are this, if you have something you love and you can manage it then you should enjoy it. Make it a part of your plan. I have a friend that has a treat once a week of their favorite fast food meal, and another who has a single serving bag of Cheetos every day. Depriving yourself will not work. If you are anything like me, you will get resentful and end up splurging and hating yourself after.
 
Enjoy your love, just manage it and you will succeed.

Many of you know my story, banded February 2012, reached my goal weight in December 2012 and have been trying to maintain that weight since. Many of you say I’m a success and look to me for advice & guidance.
 
My biggest fear with this journey has been gaining my weight back once I reached my goal. I never feared the surgery or the weight loss; I knew I could do it. But, could I handle maintaining this weight for the rest of my life?
 
Tonight, I failed. I failed myself, I failed my band and I failed my family. I am so disgusted with myself that I want to hide in a corner so no one will know…..
 
But, I must face it and confess.
 
I had purchased a box of chocolate drumstick ice cream cones for my step daughter this weekend. She ate 1; tonight I ate the other 9. YES 9! At 170 calories that is 1, 530 calories in less than 1 hour. One right after the other, big bites shoving them down as fast as I wanted. The band didn’t stop me, in fact it didn't make a sound, let me gobble away a lot of hard work.
 
I write this confession with tears running down my face. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I knew I would f** it up and I did. I can’t even tell you why I ate them. My evening routine was no different than any other night, wasn’t bored or depressed or stressed. I saw the box, opened one knowing darn well I shouldn’t and then the only thing that stopped me was getting to the bottom of the box. I honestly wished to get sick so I would stop.
 
It was complete sabotage. I was trying to failure. I have to face this and stop it. I do not want to gain weight, I do not want to binge eat like this and have this sick feeling.
 
I had to make myself write this blog, I had to face up to it. This is the only way to grow and learn. I am only human doing the best I can. I will put this behind me and move on.

Making a Lifestyle change...
 
In January my husband and I decided to commit to the lapband journey as soon as possible. first we had to finish saving the money, at the beginning of March we knew the finances would come together I started drinking a protein shake for breakfast and lunch but I also started fixing healthier food for my family, march 21 I met with my Dr. and his staff and scheduled operation for April 5 at this point I had lost 8 lbs. I've always drank alot of water and cross my fingers that it wasn't just a bunch of water weight but I'm sure plenty was though
 
When we got home my DH husband and I threw away all junk food in the house, went to the store bought light mayo, lower calorie cheeses, yogurt, leaner meats, everything. we're making a lifestyle change, not just for he and I but for our kids as well. we have 3 daughters and a son 2 of my girls are teens and the third is right there. all of my kids have normal bmi's but 2 are at the higher end and I can see both of them copying my lifelong bad habits, not stopping when their no longer hungry, eating bc it tastes good or just bc their bored...NO it has to stop now.
 
We completely stopped eating out we started counting calories for each of their age groups and started teaching portion control. we're still eating all the meals we used to eat with just a few healthy adjustments, but still delicious. dinners now are no more than 500 cals. total, everything we put into our bodies are healthy. when snacks for the kids are allowed its healthy. and they have to drink water, water, water. don't get me wrong we've discussed that occasionally we will have some junk food, just not everyday and when we do we need to limit it. also we've discussed if we're craving something it's probably better to have a little than to eat a bunch of other stuff trying to curb the craving.
 
my husband has lost 12 lbs of the 20 he wants to lose and he stopped drinking soda. he says he feels better, he's sleeping better and guess what.. no more heartburn, my daughter's with the higher bmi's have lost between 3-7 lbs. we're going for walks and playing in the yard more. but it's more than that, Easter holiday my kids wanted their favorite holiday meal so I made a nice feast for them, still healthier but a feast none the less, usually they would have polished off most of the food, but not this time, they each had a small plate, they only ate half their chicken. everyone ate 1/3 of what they would have usually eaten eaten. They were full It's working!!!
then yesterday my daughter came home from school (and I talk about her weight bc about a month ago at school the class weighed each other, and my daughter's friends are petite and my daughter has been very small as well but lately, as stated above she was getting into some bad habits and she weighed about 10lbs more than her friends and some comments were made I don't think purposely to hurt her feelings but it did, I realized I needed to change my families habits) anyway she came home and said some people in my class today brought in some donuts, I thought about having one but I wasn't hungry and I had eaten dessert at lunch so I passed, I didn't care if she had the donut but she was proud of herself for recognizing she didn't need it, IT'S OKAY TO WALK AWAY. I also no longer make my kids finish whats on their plate. I know their bad habits are my fault
 
What I've realized is we needed a lifestyle change I'm proud of my whole family.
and I've got this, I'm sure there will be bumps but I have support and I'm excited about our future