Frederic

I've been overweight since preschool and grew up being easily described as "the big one" in almost any setting. After high school my body changed enough that I was more big than fat but after getting married I stopped almost all of the physical activities which had kept me more beefy than flabby. Now I'm older I've developed type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure and after losing as much weight as I could through better eating I'm still morbidly obese according to the BMI and even though my blood sugar is well managed my blood pressure keeps going up every year. On paper I guess I was a perfect candidate for lap band since it took less than a week for the insurance company to approve me after submitting reports from the Psychologist, Nutritionist, and my Internalist. My surgery is scheduled for Feb 21st and I'm currently on the slim fast diet for pre-op I'm losing about 2lbs a day on average drinking 1 shake and then having one balanced meal heavy on the Protein. When I tried drinking 2 shakes (the first 1 within 2 hrs of getting up) I was famished but if I wait to drink my shake until I'm actually hungry usually between noon and 2pm I feel full until dinner and then I'm fine for the rest of the night. I'm ready for this change but I'll admit I have some fear about how much of my identity is tied up in being "The Big Guy" and am terrified of the idea of becoming one of the cruel people who tormented me growing up. Right now I'm just feeling kind of isolated. I can't really talk about how I feel about the surgery with my wife or friends since they can't really relate. I know my friends will be supportive of my new eating habits and I can't tell you how much I look forward to being able to buy clothes in a store rather than having to order everything through the mail but I'm still working through my feelings about the changes I'm going through (and I suspect the dieting might be affecting my mood since I have been much more emotional this last week). Well that seems to be enough a rambling introduction.

We have a local support group which meets monthly and I plan on going for at least a year after my surgery. It is an unfortunate coincidence that it happens to meet the same night of the week I usually meet with my natural support network of friends but I figure I can sacrifice 1 night a month of friend support for some more focused support. From what I understand they have a hard time keeping members especially if their successful which I think is unfortunate. I would hope successful lap banders would feel obligated to support others.

Leslie80 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this by yourself. I'll admit I suspect the reason more people don't criticize my weight is predominantly fear that I would respond by hurting them. It really is unfair how differently men and women are treated when it comes to weight loss.

I've decided the only way I'm going to be successful in the long run is if people understand why I'm going to refuse certain foods and order small meals at restaurants. I'm afraid if I go into this with a mindset of being ashamed it won't be long before I'm succumbing to some kind of temptation and justifying it to myself with the excuse of "I don't want people to suspect." As of right now if someone asks specifically why I'm going to miss a week of work when I never miss work I will say I'm having surgery if they ask what for I'll tell them the truth I'm getting lap band to treat my diabetes and high blood pressure. I've always been a social eater and I'll admit I actually look forward to being able to respond when offered food "I can't have anymore, my stomach was altered and I'm full" All that being said it was a personal choice I'd encourage you to do whatever you're confident will help you on your journey.

I'm new to the site just this evening and scheduled for Feb 21st.