Kai-shek

Why, do you get WLS, any type, and then not listen to your doctor or dietitian? Why?
 
When I was given the pre-op diet, I followed it to the 't' because I was afraid.
 
When it came to the post-op diet, I followed it to the 't', also.
 
When I get a fill, I am on 3 days of liquids, 3 days of mushy and then back to my regular foods. I listen to the doctor and his staff. They have been dealing with WLS for many many years.
 
So WHY, get the surgery and just follow your own rules??????
 
Think before putting the chip, the french fry, McDonald's, Dunkin Donuts in your hand, let alone your mouth. If you have to have one of these, at least wait until your surgery has healed and you can eat regular foods.
 
People who have had the band for a while, I have had mine for almost 14 months, maybe some of us know what we are talking about. I listen to the masters, they have been here longer than me. I try to help and if I don't have an answer, I will say it.
 
So when you are getting wheeled into the operating room, just remember WHY, you are there. To get healthy and live longer.
 
Have a great night.
 
Arlene
 
ps
Saturday night I have a wedding and yes I will eat but not over eat and I do not drink when I eat and never alcohol.

Happy Labor Day Everyone!
 
Well I am back from Branson and I feel great and relaxed! So how did I do? Lets just say I am afraid to step on the Wii Fit today and I will try again this Saturday!
 
What happened?
Don't laugh at me but I left my snack bag at home! I blame my one track mind. Friday after my post I started getting my things together and I thought I put my snacks in my backpack. Well 100 miles out and when we stop at KFC that is when I realize that I left my snacks at home! Ugh! So I ended up eating a grilled chicken breast and ate half a serving a cole slaw.
Lunch kept me full until 9pm that night. Then there was dinner and another sigh.
 
Why am I keep on sighing? Because I think I did bad and I had slice of thin crust pizza for dinner!!!! It was a small piece and I was terrified that I was going to have a stuck episodes! But I just chew, chew, chew, chew and chew. I was happy and the band was happy. I am thinking this all may change once I get my first filled.
 
Anyway, I am tired of writing about food. I did work out every day while I was in Branson. Since I left my healthy snack bag at home I work out every chance I had. On average I was burning an additional 800 each day I was there. One morning when I was running my little nephew was cheering me on when I was about to finish my run! That brought me so much joy! :wub: Sorry I had to mention that!
Me and my sister went to the outlet stores down there. I really didn't buy any clothes even though I had my big sis with me. I am still having problems with clothes shopping but I am slowly getting over it. Don't worry I did buy something from the outlet... I brought me some Yankee Candles! If I could I will spend my whole paycheck on Yankee Candles! These are the only candles I buy and they are my weakness!
Tomorrow I go back to reality and I will not let work interfere with me this month. I am going to continue doing positive this month because this is who I am and it helps me to move forward. Also tomorrow I am starting "Operation I Want Michelle Obama Arms!" This will be interesting.
 
Wish me Luck and thanks for reading!

I lost 6 pounds in August. All by myself! I did have a fill, but i don't notice any difference ... so that means the 6 pounds I lost this month were all on my own! I am so happy. This really motivates me because if I can lose six pounds all by myself, imagine how much I will lose with my next fill ... maybe 8 pounds!
 
I can't believe I'm losing weight. And I can't believe how happy I am.

The end of July I decided to call the center just to see if my insurance would pay for any of the procedures. I had heard through the grapevine that my provider did but I just wasn't ready to take that leap yet. I work nights so before heading to bed I called and gave the info to the lady and went to sleep. A couple of days lady I got an email stating I had been approved and needed to call for an appointment. Now what? Did I really want to do this? This would mean a lot of changes.
So I made the appointment for one morning that week after work. I still hadn't told anyone. I didn;t want anyone to know so there would be no pressure whatever I decided. I've been overweight my whole life and most of my family has too. I have had several family members have WLS and all of them have gained their weight back. Everyone I know that has WLS has gained their weight back. And I'm still considering this?
I was very discouraged at my appointment when they told me I would have to wait four months for surgery! I would have to have two dietitian appointment and a psych eval. ( that might disqualify me right there!). But after doing some research I know why and I guess that's better than six months or a year.
I brought home my information and started doing my research. I found LapBandTalk.com. I found The Big Book (I'm almost finished with it) and I feel very confident I can do this. I've been able to determine exactly why all my family members have gained their weight back and even a few of my friends. I know it will be hard, one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I don't just want it, I need it.
I need it for my life, my kids and my husband. I need it to be able to continue the job I love.

When I got married in May, 2009 I had to be at about my highest weight. I had stopped checking my weight long before so I imagine I was somewhere around 400 pounds. Hubby and I got married at Disney and were having our photos done in one of the hotel lobbies. A woman came up to us and apologized for the interuption but said she had to tell me something. She said her small daughter had asked her if they would get to see any Disney princesses and she told her that they wouldn't until they got to the parks. Her daughter had then pointed to me and said "but mom, there's a princess!".
 
I know I had likely gushed my thanks at the time. I wish I could let her know what an incredibly sweet and touching gesture this was. Considering at 400 pounds, even in my wedding dress I truly looked nothing like Cinderella or any of the other princesses, but it really goes to show what beautiful souls children and even adults can have, This memory has remained with me and fluttered into my mind while sitting at work today. I've never blogged before but such a happy memory is certainly a good place for me to start. -K T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wKyXA_nMVQ

This video explain what been going on with me in the past 2 weeks. I am such a young old head! I am going to warn you guys I am going to be venting! So why I do I hate fake people because they are stabbers and lairs. I know most of my flaws but I will say this I am not fake! The only thing that is fake about me is the hair weave that is in my hair!
So what happened? One on my good friend (coworker) had a house fire 2 weekends ago and lost everything. Last Monday I came into work and my fellow coworkers ask did I hear what happened to my friend? I thought he died or something but my coworkers filled me in on what happened. So I started calling our friends outside of work to see if he was okay. Then I called my boss to let him know what happened.
Finally my partner in crime (my friend) called me. I was so happy to hear from him! To give you a little background He supported me during my decision process of getting the lap band. He called me every day when I was out for my surgery to check on me. So I took this one to heart.
Later on that day I went up stair to talk to someone who I thought who was my friend. She asked me did I hear what happened to my friend. I close her office door and told her I was so upset that I had to take a Xanax and that he was okay. The only reason I closed her door was because I didn’t want her neighbors to know that I am on Xanax
When I got back to my office I received a phone call from one of her wannabe bosses. This girl went a told her wannabe boss that I told her what happen to my friend. So basically he didn’t know about it and I was accused telling a couple of people what happened to my friend. Well that is half true I only told people who I thought who heard from him or knew how to get ahold of them and the rest was all hearsay.
Anyway as soon as I got off the phone I started to cry I was so upset that I didn’t eat lunch. My mentor ended up calming me down and I proceeded on with my day. I am hurt because I thought those two people were team players but they are not. I have done nothing to them to get this type of treatment from them. So I prayed on this and forgave them but I will forgive them because this will take some time.
Moving forward….
Even though they upset me I didn’t go back to my old habit Instead of 2 big girl bottles of wine I only had two glasses. I ended up seeing my friend last Friday I brought him some comfort food and gave him a cooler full of his favorite beers. Also we raised $1415 in cash and over $280 worth gifts cards for him. That came from our group of friends. We all started crying when we finish counting the money. It was very emotional for us.
All about me…
I am slowly breaking out from my shell about me and buying new clothes. Since my last entry I was a size 16 but mentally I am still my old size 20. It took me a week to final wear the clothes I brought 2 weeks ago! Yesterday I decided to wear one of my outfits and I was getting so much attention… and it felt good!
I also started running (jogging) and I am averaging 3 miles in 30 mins. Starting next month I want to start working on my arms. My goal is to have arms like Michelle Obama! I am 59 pounds lighter and life is good!

Thanks for reading.

I’ve been so lazy since being on vacation from both jobs but not too lazy to not workout. Thursday was my 3 month bandversary! I can’t believe it been 3 months since I’ve been banded. So what have I learned? I learned that God has blessed me with the best support system in the world. I learned I am getting much better with time. I learned how to be sociable again. Also I learned its okay to have a cheat day.
So how did I celebrate my 3 month bandversary? I went shopping! I am not going to lie to you guys I’ve been avoiding shopping like the plague. It’s all mental for me. I remember going shopping and I will find a very cute outfit but it never came in my size. So I decided to save myself from the embarrassment and shop on line. I can’t do that now because I am over 50 pounds lighter. Yesterday was one of those days that I really wish my best friend Lesley was there with me. She would have told me to get over it and be proud of the fact that I am 50 pounds lighter!
Anyway I started slow. I grab a size 14 and a size 16 pair of pants to try on first. The 16 fit fine but the 14 I was able to put on but wasn’t able to button up. It’s okay tho because I have a new goal now. Anyway so I tried on a size XL shirt it was a little too big so I garb a large and the large fit! I didn’t cry on anything but it was overwhelming. So I just brought the shirt and a couple of accessories but next time it will be different.
I had a follow up appointment with my primary doctor. Last time I seen her I was weighing 236 pounds but yesterday I seen her weighing 214 pounds! She told me that she was very proud of me and she knows that I can do this. Also I no longer have high blood pressure and I am not longer morbidly obese just obese. So that is an improvement.
Today I ran 2.5 miles and I am tired. I need to clean out my closet and get rid of my size 20 clothes and 1X shirts so I can make room for my new clothes. I don’t see that happening today so let try again tomorrow.
Life is good and I am loving my band!
Thanks for reading.

It's been a son of a biscuit few weeks. At work we have converted to a new software system and I am trying to learn it all the while, trying to make sure we are ready to start school in a month with 2500 kids and two campuses. This ain't easy!!
 
I go home from work with a head ache and high BP each day. The only thing I want is a nap. For about two months now I have weighed between 187-189, daily weigh in. My NUT told me not to worry about it right now, that stress is keeping me from losing and right now my goal should be to maintain during this stressful time and then once things calm down I can start working toward losing again.
My hubs tells me to go home and work out each day. He has been hitting the elliptical and weights hard the last few weeks and has dropped 2 lbs - proud of my boy! I know I to need to get back to exercise, without it further weight loss will not happen. I have never been a lover of working out, I rather work at something- yard work, cleaning ect. When I lived on the farm there was always work to be done- garden to pick, yard to mow and clean, feilds to work, cows to deal with, ect. Now as I live in the city my little .27 of an acre isn't keeping me as busy as the 100 acre farm I was raised on.
 
I know must find some way to enjoy and maintain an exercise regiment. We have an elliptical and a total gym in our home and a greenway behind our house. I have no excuse, yet I always seem to find one.
 
This week I am trying to go back to the basics. No eating out, eating clean and healthy. Also, I want to hit the elliptical at least 3 times this week.
 
While I am proud of myself that during this 13 month journey I have managed not to gain, that isn't good enough. I still have about 45 lbs that I want gone. I will get there, just don't know when.

The band is a tool and will only work if used correctly, we know this and state it daily.
 
We have another very important tool, our doctor. He (or she) is the one we trusted to cut up our insides. But this tool doesn’t stop there, we pay them for our after care. I’m not talking just for the post op diets. I’m talking months and years of after care, whether it is fills or just checking in or complications we need this tool as much as we need our bands.
 
So why would we not use this tool? Why are we afraid to call the doctor? Why don’t we want to go back to the doctor? Who loses out when we don’t use this tool? The doctor doesn’t. He’s off helping other patients who are using their tool. We lose! We keep spiraling out of control, gaining weight, feeling like we failed, and hating the band.
 
I use my tools to the fullest capacity!
 
I lost 80 pounds in 10 months and have maintained my weight for the last 7 months. And, I still see my doctor once a month. Why? Because I am using my tool. I often don’t get a fill, I weigh in, ask any questions I may have and say hello to everyone. I am there so much that all the staff know me by name. They may get sick of seeing me, but hey I pay for this tool and by golly I’m going to use it.
 
So, if you are struggling and you haven’t seen your doctor in a while, pick up the phone and make an appointment. Use your tool! If you don’t you are only hurting yourself.

Why, oh why - please tell me...Why am I in the most danger when I've had a victory???
 
So we all know that exercise is the bane of my existence. But I've managed to work out at least 3 days a week for a month now. So this week, I'm bumping it up to 5 days a week. Grrrr. So I haul it out of bed this morning with the intention of doing something different at the gym. Everyone says you shouldn't get stuck doing one exercise routine - you should mix it up. I was therefore going to do a bike instead of the elliptical and weights. Started out fine - but the seat KILLED my butt (and not in the good 'oh I'm feeling the burn' way - more like the 'OMG I'm being sawed in half' way) !!! So I switched to one of the bikes where you are more seated with your legs horizontal instead of vertical. Didn't like that either because everytime I pedaled, I smooshed my stomach (which is still considerable) into my boobs, which are even more considerable. All of this and I only burned half the calories I burn on the elliptical.
 
Had to leave the gym earlier than usual because I had an early morning at work. Managed to actually eat a good, protein breakfast and get to the stupid meeting on time (HUGE for me). Only to find out the meeting was canceled!!! However, we were having a drug rep coming later - with breakfast! So now - I've already eaten and they bring in tons of food (breakfast pastries, naturally) to leave in the break room, 3 steps from my office.
 
Before vacation, about a month ago, I bought a new linen outfit. Fit perfectly. I haven't gotten around to wearing it until today because it's linen and requires ironing - which I only do about once a year. So I put it on - pants are too big!! :-) YAY me! I've mentioned that I was getting pissy because the scale wasn't moving, which usually triggers a binge for me. So I'm not allowed to get on the scale until the end of the month. The idea is to get used to doing the healthy thing because it's healthy, rather than being motivated by a number on the scale. So having a NSV like my brand new outfit being too big already is big for me!
 
SO - someone please tell me WHY I'm seriously in danger of having a really, really bad - out of control eating - kind of a day! Why must everything trigger a binge for me??? If doing the right thing and not having a payoff makes me want to eat - why does doing the right thing and having a payoff make me want to eat?!?!
 
Getting up for an extra workout - victory
Healthy, protein breakfast - victory
On time for early meeting - victory
New clothes too big - victory
 
I just have that unbelievable urge to eat everything I can find. I am my own worst enemy! Ready to turn around, go home, and climb in bed to hide until it's over!!!
 
Shelly

...Day 17...
 
New Weight: 261.8
 
Made an egg white scramble with 1/2 c. egg whites, 2 tbs. shredded reduced fat mozzarella cheese, fresh arugula and basil from my garden and sauted onions and bell pepper, ate slow and chewed well, stayed down just fine! Had some pork liver pate on the side (kind of like faux sausage) also stayed down just fine.
 
Went to yoga class again for the first time since surgery. Went well a little pain at the port site when twisting but otherwise fine. I can tell I'm going to be sore tomorrow though. Haven't used all those muscles in a while.
 
Everything is going good so far.

I think I have split personalities, I'm not quite two weeks out, but one part of me expects that I should be 50 pounds lighter or something. While the other side knows better. On one hand I am already rethinking my decision, while on the other hand I am happy it has finally came. I am fighting with myself that I have only just begun this journey, and it has not even been 2 weeks. So, I am going back and forth with this junk in my head. I know I need time to heal and then time to get the right fill possibly,but the other side of me is like I'm not eating so I should be dropping weight right?. My husband says my face looks thinner even though the scales not moved. I think a part of me unconsciously expected to much, I think i secretly thought I'd wake up from surgery and be thinner and drop weight as I walked., a pound a day type thing. Consciously and reasonably I know that is not realistic by any means, but i still struggle with that other "personality" in me. I'm still fighting with that part of me that has helped keep me big all this time and has helped me fail in every aspect of losing this extra person I carry around. Maybe that's it, It is like a second person I carry around one that does not want to be pushed away or put aside. But I'm so done with that relationship. I want the thin me to be the only one I carry around. So, to do that I'm going to have to win this fight between my two egos and literally beat the fat out of the fat person in me. So with the help of this group, my Doc's team of professionals, and the thin person in me I will prevail. I have to do this, I have to be successful this time it's the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs, and I up to bat with 2 strikes and 3 balls and this girls not walking or striking out it is a hit I'm going for so I'm going to swing and with help of my new bat (band) I will hit a home run.
 
~~~Stephanie

See, unlike a new bander, I know how good the green zone is to me. It's like those first few weeks after surgery when you don't feel hungry, have no desire to eat, can't imagine eating. That's what my green zone is like.
 
But I also know it took ages to get there the first time. I got to 8.5cc in a 10cc band to get to that point. At 4cc, which is what I have in my band now, I felt nothing. I feel nothing now.
 
I know my surgeon doesn't want to go too fast with the fills. He put in 2cc the last fill and I know that's aggressive, and I understand that it's a sensible thing to do to go slowly. It's a new band, I may have a different green zone, so he doesn't want to just throw 7cc in like they did after my body lift.
 
But it's killing me, the hunger. It's so freaking pervasive.
 
And doesn't it now make complete sense that I used to be big? My boyfriend eats the same amount as me and 2 hours later I'm hungry while he's still coasting. This ISN'T my head. I know better. I lived in my green zone for 3 years. Unless I eat to the brim I'm going to be hungry 2 hours later. So I used to eat way too much to feel as 'full' as my boyfriend does and for as long as he does on half the food.
 
In the green zone, I ate 1/3 what he eats and it lasted 4 hours at least.
 
I'm eating healthy and am exercising to maintain my weight now but it's HARD. No wonder people fall off wagon. It's bloody miserable! It wasn't this hard before.
 
This is why I love being banded. I know it works and works well once you have the right fill level in your band. I miss that feeling so much and I am hanging out to get there!

even though i lost all the wait i still struggle with self image issues. In my mind i see my self as as Big even though my paints size is a 4/6 in my mind i wear an 18. I hold up cloths in the store and look at them and say no way and go back to the pluse sizes it a long i mean hour and hours long process for me to get cloths. The weather is warming up hear in Ma and i have no shorts So i had to get some i just could not belve i was this size i could even shop in the juiors and did get a juniors dress but it just so hard. I think alot of pepole do not understand how it a daily stugle for alot of us I look at my refection and I start hating my self i can tell you everything wrong about me .
 
I spend 90 % of my time thinking about food and feeling bad and that i need to extersize it off. but most pepole have no idea.That this is a strugle for me they think that the band sloved everything boom it all fixed in the real life no it not fixed. they have no idea how hard i work how meny hours i spend working at this.

Here are some things that I need to admit:
 
1- I can not do this journey alone. My husband is awesome and so very supportive, but he isn't on the same path as me and it's makes it difficult to see him eating certain things and I have to tell myself no. I don't have anyone to call and vent to or talk me down. I thought I could do it with his support, but I need support from those on the same wagon train.
 
2- I am addicted to food. When all else fails eat. When you are sad, happy, mad, glad, worried, sleepy eat.
 
3- The only thing to blame for me not having lost more weight is me, myself and I. I choose to eat things I shouldn't have and more than I should have.
 
4- I am a master of excuses. If you have something you don't want to do, let me know I can give you 100 different excuses for not.
 
5- I have good intetions, but have trouble following through. I often "plan" to do XYZ, but then when the time comes, the excuses come.
 
I am starting to work on these. The journey is an ever evolving learning process. I have hidden and ignored a lot of things above, but I must face them now in order to move forward.
 
The last week bad decisions have now shown up on the scale. This morning as I stared down at the scale shining 191, I wanted to kick my butt. I made bad choices and I am now 3 lbs up. To many that may not seem bad, but for me it is a wake up call.
 
I have got to turn this thing around, I have got to reset. This started with me making a menu plan again last night. This way I will know what I will be eating and have less chance of making unhealhty things. I also made my lunches for the remainder of the week and packaged my breakfast, so all I have to do is pick and go. When I did this a few weeks ago it really worked, then life hit me and fell down.

Wow I can't believe I actually did it. I just hope it is all worth it. I didn't expect to have so much pain. I also didn't expect to gain weight in the hospital (6lbs). The weight has now come off and its only day 3. My cuts are itchy. The good news is that I found a comfortable position to sleep. Everyone has told me that the first weeks are hard. I can't wait to see my doctor so we can go over my diet. I'm looking forward to eating more normal foods and not just optifast.

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

Wow one week has passed since I got banded. So how do I feel?
I feel…….
The same. Weird huh? My incisions are a constant reminder that I have something inside me that is waiting to work. Why did I say that? Because my support system (i.e. my family and friends) are asking me food related questions that I can’t answer. For example my 30th birthday is less than 2 months away and I know they want to throw me a lap band friendly party. I just love that their hearts are in the right place but it’s hard to explain to them that I do not know what me and the band can tolerate. Based on my research I found some people can eat everything they want including breads and pastas. Then I found people who cannot eat breads, pastas, and certain fruits. I would like to be one of those people that can eat whatever I want just in moderations. But time would tell.
I am no longer starving like Marvin. I called my surgeon office and they told me to try to add more fluids in and I did. But I had the weirdest dream last night and I would like to share with you.
I have a confession to make. I have a crush on Bobby Deen I don’t care he is engaged I still have crush on him. Anyway I had a dream that I was did a cooking show with him and his mama Paula Deen. I guess me dreaming about food comes in different ways… LOL
Oh I almost forgot to mention my total weight loss. Last year in August I weigh 267 with me preparing and doing the 2 week liquid diet as of today I weigh 235! That 32 pounds…. Gone! I am feeling amazing right now!
For those who are concerned about me watching the Blues Games tonight…. I will have my pillow close at hand.
Thanks for reading

So, I am completely new to blogging but thought I'd give it a try. I'm hoping that by putting my thoughts, fears, and hopes down, it will help me through my journey of weight loss. If in the process, it happens to help any of you who stumble across my writings, then that's even better!! First of all, although I have not always been obese, I have always been "chubby" and/or have struggled with my weight and had an issue with food. I am an emotional eater. I eat if bored, angry, depressed, happy. . . you name it, and I'll eat for it!! I come from a very Italian family who solved everything with food. I recently came across a diary I kept when I was in high school. Most of the entries were about me complaining about how fat I was and if I could only lose a few more pounds I'd be able to fit into a bikini!! I couldn't believe how fat I thought I was when looking back I know for a fact that I was 120lbs at my heaviest in high school!!! Most of my weight gain came about after a miscarriage, losing a baby when I was 23 weeks pregnant, then from my first and second successful pregnancies. I ballooned eventually up to 252 lbs and this was way too much weight on my 5'3 frame. My back hurt, my knees hurt, I had high blood pressure, pre-diabetes. The list goes on. I tried many different weight loss programs, diet pills, gym memberships, etc. Nothing worked. I finally got up the courage to go for Lap Band. This is my physical, mental and emotional journey.
 
First off, I was banded on 3/1/13. Liquids one week, pureed one week, soft solids one week then. . . regular food. Lost about 18 pounds. No problems to speak of until I went for my first fill on 4/9 when my doc found a kink. . . literally. He could fill but not aspirate! Apparently, my tubing had kinked he believes due to intra-abdominal pressure within the first few hours or days of banding! So, he only filled about 1.5 ccs. Went 4/11 for an x-ray, and lo and behold. . . staring right at me is a very sharp kink that of course, my doctor and the GI fellow both could not manipulate manually to unkink! Fast forward several weeks, and here I am again fresh out of surgery on 5/3 where I had to have the port replaced. Luckily, it wasn't as invasive as the first surgery, so I am not experiencing any of that wonderful chest, back, shoulder pain, etc., Basically, just pain at the incision site. This poor site has already been used 3 times! Originally to remove my gallbladder, then for band surgery #1 and now #2! Any more incisions in that area, and I think the scar will stand up and slap me!!! Now I'm on liquids until Tuesday when I see my doc again. He filled my band to 3ccs. Total weight loss so far is about 24 lbs. I'm hoping all will be well this time. We will see!!! I'll update again after I see my doc on 5/7. Wish me luck!!

My initial loss with my band was amazing (and a little scary), but the joy of seeing pounds dropping off on a daily basis was truly fantastic. As I was looking at my weight this morning, I noticed that I had only lost 5 pounds during the month of April and was tempted toward the negative by comparing my loss with what I did when I was first banded.
 
Then I started to think about my bike ride on Sunday, 28 miles, 23 miles two days before, Both at speeds that it took me 5 months of work up to last year to be able to sustain for 15 miles.
I thought about my spin class and the progress I have made during it, where I had to stop and rest halfway through when I first started.
I thought about the fact that it is time to go shopping for clothes again because my pants are starting to bunch at the waist when I tighten my belt enough to hold them up.
I thought about the fact that I am down to one belt because I haven't punched holes in the other two.
I thought about the fact that the fat percentage on my scale hit a new low number this morning.
I thought about all the weight that I lost on WW, and how 5 pounds in a month would have been a cause for celebration.
 
Yup, the low hanging fruit of my band journey is all gone, but that's ok I burn more calories when I have to climb the branches to reach the higher fruit.
 
Father God, please help me to remain thankful for all that you have given me instead of focusing on what I don't have...

I grew up in Boston, on Comm. Ave. between BU and BC. I went to Boston public schools and I am very proud of being from Boston. I now live about 10 miles south of the city. My good friend works for the Boston Police Dept., 911. He just told me a woman from CA ordered a lot pizzas to be delivered to the head quarters and a person from KY sent fruit. This country is super, if you don't like it, there's the door.
My 95 year old mother's nursing home was in lock down yesterday. She doesn't go out, so she wouldn't have known. My mentally challenged brother lives near the nursing home and the chefs and other workers couldn't go make and serve dinner last night. He lives in senior housing.
So today when we are all out enjoying our freedom, let's all sing "Sweet Caroline". That was sung at the Boston Common last night by the people that could finally leave their homes and at every Red Sox game. Thanks Neil Diamond for a great song.
I know this has nothing to do the weight loss or the band.
Arlene

At least for a little while. Went out to breakfast with a friend, ordered off of the menu with no substitutions (scrambled eggs with veggies and feta), enjoyed a nice conversation, took small bites, ate slowly, sipped my coffee a couple of times and when I was no longer hungry piled my plates up and pushed them away. I ate about 2/3 of my eggs, 1/4 of my potatoes and half a slice of dry toast. AND I WAS FINE WITH THAT!
 
Now, that wasn't say that the head hunger voices weren't screaming in the background about wasting food, about how good it tasted, about taking just one more bite. They weren't as loud as they usually are, I just checked and made sure that I wasn't hungry (Satiated), and dismissed them.
 
There is hope...

It been almost a year since my band as of tomrow it will be 23 more days till my one year. Gosh my life has changed. I am now a size 4 /6 I am now 129.8 lbs> I am also now a full time Zumba / Group exercise instructor/ personal trainer. Yes life has change but it not about how I changed it about the lesson I learned alog the way. The Lesson I want to share with you today. The lesson I had to apply to life to my life to make me a success.
 
First lesson become uncountable.It the things we hate the most the things that are the hardest for us, that do us the most good. A great example is the frist time I tried Zumba I hated it I was so bad I had two left feet. My frist thought was I never going back I hate this but i went back now i am Zumba Educational Specialist I am dance ever day and I share my love with orthers all the time But this lesson needs to keep being taught. The other day my trainer asked me if i did my 20 mins on the stair climber I said i hate it I call it the Michen of evil and she said to me Laura Thas just why you must do it. t The things that you hate the most do you the most good. I knew she was right.
 
The Next lesson Is the frist person who needs to believe they can Has to be you. If you want to change you need to say Yes I can. The words no I can't has to be gone we spent years say NO I can't exercise eat right making all excesses . If you do not belive you can that you wont you stay just stuck were you are. Relive you can be the change.This take streath. More then physical streath this was one of the hardest thing i ever did To believe in me. I am worth being believed in. and because I belive in me others do too and I have created a network of people who believe in me because I do
 
The last lesson I will share is Be the butterfly. Butterfly change into something beutey but each on is unquine diffent. Each one has to learn to spered there wings fly. And be free. One you embracess change and become fee ro it you wiil become beatful something everyone will love

I was reading about how some people give up and then go back to their doctor for help, which is wonderful. Then there are the people who blame. I have a cousin, Ilana (real name) a know it all RN, who had bypass surgery about 8-10 years ago and is now over weight, again. She blames her surgery for failing. She likes to snack, have her afternoon wine and a cocktail when dining out. Her mother had the bypass over 25 years ago and she also gained all her weight back. (she passed away from cancer). Why do people have surgery and then blame the surgery for failing and not themselves. Ilana went back to her doctor and said the surgery failed, could he re-operate. He said, no. Good for him. We are given a TOOL and we have to learn to use it and respect it. If we don't then we are back to being over weight and it is our fault, no one else.
Yesterday I had Chinese food for lunch, had a few other bad choices during the day, my fault, I gained or retained fluid from the sodium, my fault, can't blame anyone else for me, failing.
I got the Band 8 months ago today and I think I am doing ok. Not a super fast weight loss but a decent one. I see my doctor in a few weeks and I do lose every time which I like and he does too.
Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates.
Arlene