gowalking

Good riddance to bad rubbish.
How do you move on and date?
In my opinion, very carefully and very slowly.
It sounds like you need to grieve and recover from your marriage before jumping back into the dating world.
Do you have a good therapist? Have you considered attending a 12 step recovery group like Overeaters Anonymous? Are you attending bariatric support group meetings?
Take the time to get to know yourself, recover and heal (physically and emotionally), learn how strong and resilient you are, and focus on health and wellness.
Another relationship can wait until you are steady in your own feet.

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

Rejection is tough even if you are better off with that person out of your life. It's hard to see when you are in it, but time and therapy (if you want it) will help. I can say that because I've lived it. Even in this perfectly normal body, I have had my share of rejection but I am learning that it's not my doing, but theirs. One day I'll find that man I'm looking for...and if I don't, oh well, my life is really good with or without a man. I have close family, good friends, and a job I don't hate. I'll take that any day. Hang in there Sophie...I know it hurts but as others have said, you are sooo better off without him.

Rejection is tough even if you are better off with that person out of your life. It's hard to see when you are in it, but time and therapy (if you want it) will help. I can say that because I've lived it. Even in this perfectly normal body, I have had my share of rejection but I am learning that it's not my doing, but theirs. One day I'll find that man I'm looking for...and if I don't, oh well, my life is really good with or without a man. I have close family, good friends, and a job I don't hate. I'll take that any day. Hang in there Sophie...I know it hurts but as others have said, you are sooo better off without him.

You're hurting. For that I am sooo sorry.
It doesn't matter who did what to whom. You are hurting.
Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to wrap your head and heart around your new life.
It takes time---sometimes a great deal of time to mourn the loss of a marriage. Time doesn't always "heal" those wounds that cut so deeply. One can only hope to "calm" the hurt--leaving nothing in its place but a scar. It's the scars of such painful times that prove we were brave enough to give love a chance with an open heart.
Just because your spouse did not honor his vows, does not dishonor you in any way. Your integrity is intact. Integrity is what should keep your head held high, shoulders straight and your dreams of finding love again shining bright.
Until you are ready to love again, be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. Be your own best friend.
Life and love will circle around and scoop you up again.
I promise.

Sophie you are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been where you are right now. You will never really know why or what attracted your husband to this other women and it really doesn't matter. What matters is you and taking the time to heal. My number one best advice i can give you is stay away from Facebook if you can't control yourself from peeking at them. This will only prolong the pain and make it harder for you to move on. Please trust me when i say that there is a great life on the otherside of divorce. It takes time to heal and grow. Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

Pretty dress...and yes...silver shoes would look good. Just remember...if you buy sandals or open-toed shoes, no stockings. So you will probably need Spanx to smooth things over. I use them and control top hosiery. If you get silver shoes, go with a silver or sparkly clutch. That will give you a pop of color. If you don't know how to put on makeup...go to a department store and have one of the girls there apply it and show you how to do it. Or ask a girlfriend to help you. It's OK...we'll help as best we can even though we're virtual.

I've been to dozens and dozens of affairs and the clutch can go in your lap or on the table. And yes...make it a clutch, not a bag with a strap. Hang in there...the day will come when you will know how to dress and accessorize.

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

That's what the weight loss is all about. It's not a number on a scale...it's about being an active participant in life and not sitting on the sidelines while the world moves on without you. This is a wonderful NSV and it makes me so happy to enjoy it with you.

If you didn't track you food when you lost the weight before, do it now. I used myfitnesspal religiously and it made me aware of everything I ate.
PS: I'm banded as well and while I understand how expensive it is to see the doctor without insurance, an adjustment will probably help you enormously as you well know the band doesn't help without correct restriction. Good luck hon!

Pretty dress...and yes...silver shoes would look good. Just remember...if you buy sandals or open-toed shoes, no stockings. So you will probably need Spanx to smooth things over. I use them and control top hosiery. If you get silver shoes, go with a silver or sparkly clutch. That will give you a pop of color. If you don't know how to put on makeup...go to a department store and have one of the girls there apply it and show you how to do it. Or ask a girlfriend to help you. It's OK...we'll help as best we can even though we're virtual.

I needed a passport to go to Canada so I'd suggest better to have one than not. Getting one is easy. You can download the form online and almost any bigt box store can do your passport photo.
Just as an aside..my passport photo is from 2010 and believe me...the officers at the border always have to take a long look as the picture no longer looks like me. I went to London last summer and it was my first trip oversees since I lost the weight and oh boy, do I look different.

Fantastic! What a dress...and you look spectacular in it. I hope the hubby couldn't keep his hands off you!

You don't have to tell anyone you were overweight. I've been at goal for more than two years and those who met me at my current weight, do not know I was heavy. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. The only people who I have to tell about my weight are the men I have relationships with. And that's my choice...I don't have to do that either. I've had two relationships that went past a date or two and both those men knew I had WLS. I'm in a commited relationship now and he knows as well. I didn't disclose it right away but I saw where we were going and wanted to get it out of the way. Oh, and FYI, the reactions were always positive not negative. Good luck and like I said...it's up to you what to tell, and to whom.

Lisa...I sent you a text last week but you must not have seen it. I was just checking up to see how you were doing. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. Not just losing dad, but work and your health. I knew about the job...my new guy worked for Cablevision for 18 years and he told me it was changing hands...and not going to be Cablevision much longer. I thought of you...and if you would be impacted. He lives in Babylon by the way and I really want you and Ken to meet him. He may really be a keeper. I think you saw the picture of us on FB in front of the Coke Corner at CitiField, yes? I hope your tummy issues clear up soon. I can't imagine throwing up all the time and I really hope your band isn't impacted. Is there anything I can do for you hon? If yes, please just say the word and I'll do what I can.
Love ya..Liz.

You don't have to tell anyone you were overweight. I've been at goal for more than two years and those who met me at my current weight, do not know I was heavy. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. The only people who I have to tell about my weight are the men I have relationships with. And that's my choice...I don't have to do that either. I've had two relationships that went past a date or two and both those men knew I had WLS. I'm in a commited relationship now and he knows as well. I didn't disclose it right away but I saw where we were going and wanted to get it out of the way. Oh, and FYI, the reactions were always positive not negative. Good luck and like I said...it's up to you what to tell, and to whom.

You don't have to tell anyone you were overweight. I've been at goal for more than two years and those who met me at my current weight, do not know I was heavy. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. The only people who I have to tell about my weight are the men I have relationships with. And that's my choice...I don't have to do that either. I've had two relationships that went past a date or two and both those men knew I had WLS. I'm in a commited relationship now and he knows as well. I didn't disclose it right away but I saw where we were going and wanted to get it out of the way. Oh, and FYI, the reactions were always positive not negative. Good luck and like I said...it's up to you what to tell, and to whom.

You don't have to tell anyone you were overweight. I've been at goal for more than two years and those who met me at my current weight, do not know I was heavy. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. The only people who I have to tell about my weight are the men I have relationships with. And that's my choice...I don't have to do that either. I've had two relationships that went past a date or two and both those men knew I had WLS. I'm in a commited relationship now and he knows as well. I didn't disclose it right away but I saw where we were going and wanted to get it out of the way. Oh, and FYI, the reactions were always positive not negative. Good luck and like I said...it's up to you what to tell, and to whom.

You don't have to tell anyone you were overweight. I've been at goal for more than two years and those who met me at my current weight, do not know I was heavy. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. The only people who I have to tell about my weight are the men I have relationships with. And that's my choice...I don't have to do that either. I've had two relationships that went past a date or two and both those men knew I had WLS. I'm in a commited relationship now and he knows as well. I didn't disclose it right away but I saw where we were going and wanted to get it out of the way. Oh, and FYI, the reactions were always positive not negative. Good luck and like I said...it's up to you what to tell, and to whom.

I've lost a tremendous amount of weight with the band but started getting off track last year after I quit smoking. Well I started going back in for fills and I think I'm back in the green zone because I lost 23 pounds in 23 days!
Woo hoo!

@@fatgirlsvelte I'm really impressed by all the work you are doing, and I do believe it will benefit you so much after surgery. I'm pretty young and healthier than my docs expected, but some co-morbidities are already creeping up on me. Personally, I've been in treatment for psych stuff almost my whole life, and finally dealing with my weight seems like just one more thing that can liberate me. For me, depression/suicidality made my world so narrow, even though I couldn't see it at the time. I think that my weight has done a similar thing, and once I get it down some I will truly realize how much it was cutting me off from the rest of the world. I also have struggled with eating disorders including BED and have hit so many check marks in the DSM, but when it comes down to it, what matters the most is my lived experience. It helps me to remind myself that I deserve to live a full and happy life; I don't need to limit myself in the ways I did before. I am brave enough to stop hiding within my depression, and part of that for me is hiding inside of my weight and self-soothing with food. Not to be too sappy, but I think I just need to keep telling myself that I deserve better than the life I have created for myself so far. Anyway, that was a ramble, lol. All I really meant to say was that I hear you!