gowalking

So I've decided after 'testing' my news about a lap band, that I won't be sharing the information with everyone.
 
I'm lucky in that I have great girlfriends who are usually open minded about most things. Apparently though that stops at weight loss surgery. I mentioned that I was considering lap bad surgery and what an uproar that caused. No, no, just eat right and exercise (like I haven't tried that a bazillion times. Oh why would you do any such surgery like that - have another cookie. Do you know what the failure rate is?
 
BLAH BLAH BLAH
 
I try to be an independent gal. I like to do research, I like to investigate and I really like to decide for myself no matter who says what. And I did a lot of research and I question a lot. I've read posts here on this site and on other sites too. Sometimes people 'failed' for reasons beyond their control. But often it seems that people don't do well because they don't want to work. This will be work! But I welcome that type of work and remain positive that if I comply and follow the rules, the band will work for me.
 
I've decided to not share my upcoming surgery plans for now. I don't want negative energy, I don't want those that love 'hovering' and watching every move, or calling constantly to try to 'help' me. I want to remain in the sunny side focusing on my health and what is right for me in my circumstances.
 
In the world we need more support and those that see what isn't right for them may just be the right thing for others.
 

Update here! I haven't written much in the last month because I am still recovering from my broken arm. I am much improved, 4 weeks out. I start physical therapy on Monday but have been doing a little on my own. I definitely have more movement. I am not back to walking yet because the walking tends to make my shoulder area ache more near the fracture.
 
But here's the thing, I am still losing weight, slowly, and I guess I am surprised. I was just hoping to avoid gaining any weight since I am not getting the exercise. At my age, I don't think there is much weight loss without movement, hence the surprise. I have been thinking about what has changed about me in this new "start over". Why was I less successful the first time in the year after I had this surgery? Well I've already talked about some of it, the stress of my job. But I think there is something else. I seem to have made some peace with portion size and recognizing those things that don't go down well or are hard to chew. I also noticed that when I get a full plate (say when we go out for a meal), I feel overwhelmed at how much food is sitting in front of me. I have developed an aversion to anything fried as I began to recognize it didn't feel so good when I ate it, yet before I loved it. I can tell right away what foods I won't be able to chew well. I also used to have this feeling that to avoid going back for seconds, I really needed to fill my plate to be sure I had enough. Wow, now I can pretty much judge by sight what is the right portion size and I have confidence it will be enough for me. I have to tell you, these are pretty big changes for me! And because I eat slowly, I find myself waiting for the "soft stop" cue (I got that term from Jean) to tell me when I have had enough. "Enough" is becoming my new "full"!
 
So I am happy with this. Of course the weight loss is slow right now (5 lbs since I first broke my arm 4 weeks ago) but I am satisfied with this progress for me. I am feeling confident going forward with controlling my weight loss!

I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience.
 
Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic.
 
This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal.
 
Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.

This really gripes my band lol. You did not gain weight over night and you will not lose it overnight with the band. If you wanted fast weight loss then you should have chosen the by pass. The band was not intended for people to drop 50lbs in a month. 1 to 2 pounds a week is normal if you lose more then that is great. You can not expect to get the results that others get. Everyone is different, we all have different metabolisms. However now comes the be mean mommy part..... If you are only giving part of your self to the band you can not expect 100% results. If you are not following the diet plan your doctor has given to you, you can not expect results. If you eat more then you should you will not lose weight. If you are starving call your doctor and ask for suggestions. No one ever said this was gonna be easy except for the people who know nothing about the band and say we are taking the easy way out. If you are eating cookies 2 weeks post op or pizza or fried chicken you might as well forget about doing anything. You have to want this and not following your doctors instructions is like going to court and being accused of murder and telling the judge well yeah I did stab him 30 times but can you just give me probation because I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. The decisions you make in eating will tell on you. What ever you do in the dark always comes out to the light. Its like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar while having your mouth full and as you spit out the cookies while you are saying I didnt do it, then you have made yoursel a total liar.
 
Stop cheating yourself if you are newly banded. Our eating habits is what got us to weight loss surgery and weightloss surgery is only as successful as the person makes it. The only guarantee you have is that you will lose the weight if you follow directions. Weight loss does stop at times. Those are the times you have to be strong. If you have only lost 10 pounds in 8 months then its not the bands fault. At some point you did not follow instructions. I went on an ice cream spree which lead to weight gain. I knew it and I accepted it but soon realized I was not helping myself. You have to be willing to give 100% if you want 100% results.

Out of many thousands of members that are part of this community I do not believe that any one of you know me personally, have been my best friend, my family, my children, or my coworkers. I am sick and tired of those of you who think the things I say, are because I am mean. No one has the right to tell me to apologize to anyone. When I answer any post I am not saying it mean but that is the whole darn point. When two people read a book or even a stupid three word sentence neither one will interpret that book or sentence in the same manner.
 
I have been in the medical field for 30 years. I have never had a patient, coworker, boss, best friend say that I am mean or complain about me and you know why???? Because I am not. I am not a coddler or tell you what you want to hear type of person. I tell the truth. I am not a class act but a very bright intelligent woman. I have two degrees in healthcare administration, have published 6 books, taught child birth education, parenting. I have worked as a case manager for pregnant women, taught nutrition classes for pregnant lap band patients. I have worked everywhere from surgery to med surg, oncology and telemetry. I dont think that if I was mean I would still have a job in the health care field.
 
I think the problem does not lie within me but those of you who feel that I am mean or so you say. When I post something that you dont like and you ream me out, then are you any better. Then you get your few 3 friends you have on here to do the same thing. None of this is about me but about your own insecurities that you feel the need to jump all over me because you feel some kind of way about yourself.
 
Like I said earlier look in your own mirror because the problem lies within you not me. I won't lose sleep tonight because you think I am mean. I won't have any less friends in my real life because of a handful of people who think they know what I am thinking at all times. I can imagine it would be sad that you are thinking I hate her when you don't even know me. That is why people end up having such a lonely life because they think too much about how other people are when in all reality what you are thinking is farther from the truth.
 
If you are obese like we all are and I say the word obese then forgive me for using the proper medical terms instead of saying you are fat. I just do not get it how any of you can assume anything about me. You are reading words that are typed. You don't know what I was thinking or feeling when I typed it. You don't know anything about me. You just assume. So before you judge me and my character look at yourself and figure out what it is that makes you so upset with what I say. It's you not me. I don't take offense to anything anyone writes on here you know why? Because I do not know one single person that comes here. I don't live with them, don't sleep with them, or even know where most of you live.
 
So before any of you tell me I am mean, please look at yourself and figure out what it is that is wrong with you. I don't have a mean bone in my body but truthfull yes I can be called that.
 
So let me tell you who I am. I am a 50 year old happily married woman with two sons and two grand daughters. I am loved by my family, friends, coworkers and my patients oh and let me not forget my animals. I am well respected by a ton of people. On my days off I teach nutrition for lapband patients in different surgeons offices here where I live. Yes I teach nutrition classes. Imagine that I know what I am talking about. I think I have enough knowledge to give people advice and unless that person is complaining about me being mean then why should you.
 
When you know me personally then you can say what you want but until then, don't judge me. If I was not answering to your post then why are you getting offended? Must have a guilty conscience.

As many of you know I have a special needs son....who is in and out of the hospitals .
 
Well he just came home from his latest stay and this was the first time I wasnt the fat mom
 
It made such a differance...so many things I never realized...
 
I was so much more of a advacate this time...I was not afraid to go ask for a nurses help...or any thing that I thought would make him more comfortable or even for myself....When it was time for his meds and they were not there...I didnt feel like Oh gawd...what should I do...I knew what to do and I did it...and to my surprise I think I was treated with more respect...or at least its how I felt on the inside and that all showed on the out side...
 
And any one who has ever slept on a hospital cot over night knows how that feels when your 100 lbs over weight.....and this stay it still wasnt comfy but it wasnt uncomfy with the added OMG blankets dont move and uncover my big O butt while I sleep...
 
After some stays I can remember being so hungry but I wouldnt dare ask for anything from the nurses.....what would they think the fat lady wants more food !!!
This time...I asked if I could get some SF jello...or some crackers and peanut butter...
and I was proud of that....simple pleasures being with in a normal weight ...
 
I can not thank my Drs and Nut for the new life they gave this lady !!!