gowalking

Hello and good morning my friends. Welcome to Banders #7. So, I guess I'll start it off by saying how grateful I am today and every day for the new lease on life that I have. I walked to the office today from the train station. That was something I couldn't do before the surgery. I always say how light I feel and I realized it's not a state of mind, but a physical reality. We are weighed down by the excess weight and all that goes with it. When we don't rumble and jumble as we walk, our steps are lighter. I was listening to my ipod and started to dance a little as I was walking. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but who cares? When one is thin, even looking ridiculous seems OK. I am grateful for my for my beautiful grandson who I was able to tuck into my lap last Saturday morning so we could play while Mommy and Daddy got to sleep in a bit. I'm grateful that I fit anywhere and everywhere. No more worrying if I will break a chair, or be able to navigate a booth at the restaurant, or walk down a narrow aisle without having to suck it all in just to get past someone/something. I'm grateful for my health. I take alot of pills, but many of them are supplements and not prescription for chronic ailments. I'm grateful that I can walk again...that I can swim, bike, climb, and yes....enjoy sex. I am surprised at how flexible I can be now that I'm thin. I'm grateful that I earn enough money that I can indulge my new found love of shopping. I really think I'm one of the best dressed ladies in the office these days...and I know I've upped the game for others. I am definitely seeing more dresses than I did a year ago. I'm grateful to Alex for having this site available...and I'm grateful to all the folks on it who are part of my success. I know I would not have been as successful as I have been if not for all of you. I talk about things here that I don't talk to anyone else about. You all know the struggles of being fat, and immobile, and feeling like a failure regardless of what we've accomplished..and I know now how much we 'hidden' people have accomplished. It's helping me to not turn that self hatred towards others still struggling with obesity. It also reminds me that I will always struggle with obesity. Under this thin person still lurks the fat girl. She is the one who whispers in my ear all the time that I'm not worthy of the good things out there and I should just order a pizza and eat the whole thing. She and I clash daily and it's why I still go every Tuesday to the therapist who listens and helps me to navigate this new world I inhabit. Well...I think I've posted enough for today. Feel free to comment on the above, or share your stories, or say hi, or just lurk. Enjoy your day today...enjoy the upcoming holiday, and looking forward to a wonderfully robust Banders #7 thread. Liz

Hi TMF. Glad to hear from you. I am also struggling. I've gained 25 lbs. over the last year. Between back surgery and a boyfriend, I'm making poor choices. I did finally decide that I want to get back into the clothes I don't fit into at the moment and have refocused. I'm going to get back to 135 lbs. and will be fine with it taking however long it has to. Oh how I remember saying I'd never get obese again but I can see how easy it is to head in that direction. So if I can nip this in the bud now with only 25 lbs. to lose, and not 125 lbs., that's what I'll do. Keep us posted on your progress!

Ugh. His loss. Dating, online or the old fashioned way is tough. I approached it like a job and saw it as an end to a means. I got really lucky and found Corey...who is sitting next to me as I type. What can I say about a man who is willing to watch the Ladies US Figure Skating Championship because it's what I want to watch?

Hi Girls. Happy New Year to everyone. I'm up to 163 lbs and have to stop making excuses. I can't fit into any of my clothes and everyone is unhappy with me from my doctor to my masseuse. I have three months to lose weight or will have to get another fill. I don't want to do it because I already get stuck more often than I care to. I have to reset and not allow myself to waver from my goal which is to get back to 135 lbs. I hope you are all well and here's to 2018! This time next year, I expect to be closer than further from my target weight.

Congrats!! What wonderful news. Funny story in a similar vein....Corey got down on one knee last night as we were walking around the Christmas Shoppes in Union Square and one of the vendors got so excited...he thought he was seeing a proposal until I dashed the guy's hopes. I knew that Corey was down on one knee tying his shoelace.

I'm still here!! I'm struggling with weight gain and am not at all happy about it. I'm stress eating and also finding it hard to watch my intake especially as Corey is all about the food. I'm not blaming him....this is my responsibility to be accountable for my food choices but I am indeed having a hard time at the moment. The good news is that I am happy as can be in my relationship and am looking forward to co-habitating sometime next year hopefully. Work sucks and that is the cause of much of my stress but I am looking at the big picture which for me is three more years in the workforce and then early retirement. Couldn't come fast enough for me...lol.

Hi Everyone. I don't know that we need a Banders #8 as there are so few of us left here. If I need to start another one, I will. Sorry you and Ken are having a hard time Lisa. I saw on FB... So for me...I'm having trouble getting my food intake under control. I've had another fill but I find myself stress eating. I'm around 150 lbs. now and that's too much. I keep saying I'll lose 10-15 lbs but so far, I'm not doing what I say I will. I even eat when I know I'm likely going to get stuck. I do and still don't seem to learn my lesson. I just have to re-dedicate myself and not use work, or other stresses in my life as excuses. When I had my back surgery and recovery, I went off track. It's been six months since and I'm still not focused. Will have to do better... FYI, all my family and friends in Florida are well. Some a little worse for wear but no one got hurt and no one is dealing with major damage. It was scary for a while with my folks especially as they have health issues but again, everyone got through it better than we expected. Thanks for checking in and letting me have a place to talk about the realities of maintenance. Liz

Lisa...gonna be at Citifield tonight. If you and Ken are going, let me know and we can talk a bit, yes?

Very nice JWM. I do hope you showed your face on Match though...hahaha!! seriously though...it's all about being normal. I've gained 20 lbs. as you know and while I am not happy with that and am looking to get back to fighting weight, I am still normal and that's the most important thing. Enjoy your trip and time with the girls.

Julie...wow. I don't even recognize you. My pictures are the same. I'm not recognizable to the obese woman I was before the WLS. So...I went to my lapband doctor on Friday and she gave me a fill as I've gained 20 lbs. in the last 12 months. I will go back in six weeks to see if I need an additional fill. As we all know, the honeymoon period is long over and now it's just slogging through each and every day. But now we all can see for sure that whatever surgery we have, it's no guarantee we will keep the weight off permanently. Vigilance always.

Damn. I see your posts on FB and I presumed you were having a tough time. Wish I could do something for ya kiddo. We'll be at the ballgame tomorrow night if you feel like heading to Queens. Listen...I've been having a tough time as well. Corey and I are great but work is super stressful and I've gained 20 lbs. over the last 18 months or so. I keep saying today is a new day but I find myself dicking around and not losing those ten pounds, oops no...15 lbs. Oh wait....now it's 20 lbs. I had to get new clothes...many of my old clothes are too tight. I swore I'd never let that happen again and yet it has. So for what it's worth, here's what I think you should do. Investigate other WLS options and give yourself a year to decide if you want to move forward with any of them or not. That will give you the time to see if you can do this without surgery or if you need another intervention. Let me know about tomorrow night...

No need to defend this Julie. You are not ready...or you are not interested. Either one is OK. I was widowed in 1994, remarried in 1998 and after the marriage went belly up in 2002, I didn't bother again till about two years ago and that was based on a heart to heart with myself after a cancer diagnosis and knowing that I needed to see if there might be someone out there for me. And yes...there are those would would understand eating restrictions. If he doesn't, he's not the one for you is all. In fact, my eyes are still bigger than my tummy and Corey is the one who always reigns me in when it comes to ordering at a restaurant. And he's a big eater so I know he understands how much I eat...not how much I think I can eat. He's also seen what happens when I get stuck. It's not pretty as we know, but he understands it's part of my makeup and is nothing but supportive if I get into trouble.

Now this makes me happy. Try to remember that it's about meeting new people and putting yourself in the position of the possibility of finding love. If you keep your expectations where they should be, you'll be OK.

Hi Oregondaisy. Cathy is right. I'm not sure who's left and who's gone. I miss alot of the vets as well but before Alex banned some of these folks, the site was full of conflicts and ratcheted up posts. I'm in touch with a few of the old timers but it's just a few at this point. I'm just hoping all my old friends who were on this site are doing well.

So we all sound like we've got our challenges...and trying to deal with them as folks who are years out from WLS. It's not a magic bullet for sure and is very much a daily struggle to stay on track. I am understanding that for me, this surgery feels like a setback which I know is not but I feel like it's my fault and part of the guilt I feel for putting my body through such trauma by carrying so much excess weight. No one thinks I did this to myself but I know that I do. It's why I'm having such difficulty during my recovery. I feel like I deserve these problems because I let myself get so fat. Yes I know this is not reality but my perception. It just shows that I carry stuff in my head and likely always will.

Hi all. Just an update that I'm getting back to normal slowly but surely. I want to push myself and Corey keeps reminding me that it's only been three weeks so I'm trying to find the balance. Speaking of balance, I've gained ten pounds since my back went out. Some of it I know is remnants of the swelling from the surgery but I know better and I've been eating poorly due to boredom, fear, entitlement, all of it. I said I wouldn't be keeping a closet full of different sizes and I mean it. I weighed myself on Monday and owned up to the gain. I've been very thoughtful since then about my choices and am hoping to lose that extra ten lbs. before I head out on my Scandinavian trip a month from now. Sounds like you are doing well Sharpie and I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Am hoping Julie and JWM are good. I'm FB friends with Lisa and Tammie and they seem to be well. I've no idea what's happened to the others who were on this site. I don't even keep in touch with Virginia (CarolinaGirl) anymore. I want to believe they are living happily ever after but who knows... I promise to post pictures from my 'trip of a lifetime' when I get back.

just saw this post. you may not know my story Treadmillwalker but similar to you, I needed double hip replacement. It was the reason I got WLS as my doctor said the same as yours...I was simply too heavy to have a successful procedure. I too had cortisone shots to help with the inflammation along with other anti-inflammatory measures/pain meds to help me till the weight came off. I'm lucky enough to have been living close to the Y so I spent alot of time at the pool even though I couldn't do more than just paddle around. My mobility was so compromised that even moving a little in the pool was a good thing. All I can do is suggest you continue with your regimen as it seems to be similar to mine and keep on losing the weight as you have been. What I can tell you is that after you have the knee replacements, you will be more normal than you've been in years and will feel like you got a second chance at life. Keep that in mind from someone who's been where you are and know that a wonderful future awaits you..

Hi all. Just an update that I had my surgery a week ago. I'm dealing with typical post-op pain but the important thing is that I'm walking upright with no more leg pain. Once the incision pain and other related discomforts recede, I am thinking I'll be good to go again. Had a bad day yesterday because I couldn't make it to Opening Day which was really important to me. I spent the day feeling very sorry for myself and eating poorly but that was yesterday and today is a new day. Hope everyone else is doing well. Liz

Hi there other vets. Those in maintenance especially. This is so different than the weight loss stage, isn't it? So..I went away over the weekend with some of my girlfriends and somewhere around dinner on Saturday, I couldn't kid myself anymore that I was being mindful of what I was consuming. Actually, I was being very mindful...and very aware that I was eating way too much, and drinking too much, and eating the wrong things. Oh, I tried. I had fruit instead of chocolate, I didn't eat everything on my plate, I drank wine instead of cocktails. But still...I gained 2 1/2 lbs. and honestly expected it might be more than that. So today is Monday, the start of a new week, and I'm committed to going back to eating as I usually do, and hoping the gain is minimized or even gone by next week. Part of me knows that this is just what life is like when we are maintaining, but part of me panics fearing this is the beginning of that slippery slope back to obesity. Thank goodness for this site where I can come to express my feelings and feel like I'm reconnecting with those who truly understand this lifelong journey. And that's what it is....all my life, this will be an issue. I know some vets get past it and go about their business but that's not me. I'm always aware that my addiction is close by and can overtake me at any time. If that means feeling a little sorry for myself for 'drinking the Kool-Aid' once in a while, so be it. Today is a new day and I'm eating clean so far and planning on heading to the Y tonight to get in a Water exercise class. I bet I'm doing and feeling better tomorrow...

Aren't we lucky to have found love a second time?

Oh Sharpie...so glad you were there to save him. Wow. Good luck with your surgery. I'm trying to just put one foot in front of the other so to speak. I can't actually walk so that's a very absurd statement..lol. Anyway...yes, Corey is taking care of me and I would do the same for him. I love this man. I can't say why...I just do. I miss him when he's not here. All of a sudden, I went from someone who enjoyed her alone time to being someone who enjoys his company even when we're busy doing our own things. His son just found out that if he wants to keep his job, he needs to transfer to another state so the reasons for him to stay where he is just changed a whole bunch. I want to fall alsleep next to him every night. I don't like beeing alone in the bed anymore. I just have to be sensible and not let my emotions rule. I know I'm very vulnerable right now so alot of what I'm feeling is about this so of course we won't do anything now except keep on keeping on. Take care of yourself and your man. And don't overeat or make poor choices..lol. Love your girls! Liz

Hi Stranger!! glad to see you.

Thanks for the laugh! Here's the terrible part....one of the buyers from Kohl's thinks this suit being available for purchase was a good idea.

By the way girls...I've been feeling so down and depressed that I've wanted to eat myself silly. Every time I think about doing so, I hear all of you encouraging me to stay the course. Just shows me that the Beast is there...will always be there. All I can do is manage it.

Thanks girls. Your words mean everything to me and I appreciate your kindness and concern more than you know. I'm going to talk to the doctor who recommended the surgeon. I've been his patient for years and maybe he can speak to the surgeon in my behalf to see if there is an earlier opening. If I didn't have to wait six weeks just to get the surgery, I might not feel so overwhelmed. I'll see what he can do..if anything. If I can feel like I'm in control of even a little of this, I'll be better. I've definitely reached out to friends and family for support which I didn't always do in the past. It's still hard for me to do that but another thing I need to work on I guess...