gowalking

Loved your story and am celebrating your success right along with you.

I was about as bad as could get pre-surgery. I was morbidly obese even though I was on a 'diet' for a year prior. I followed this diet plan religiously and still only lost 25 lbs. I needed to lose 125 lbs. I was in such terrible pain from joint disease that I was probably only weeks or months away from going into a wheelchair. I couldn't exercise because I couldn't move. I really think that my dire situation is what helped me to stay focused and do what needed to be done. I also don't think I'm alone regarding this. Those of us who are so terribly impacted by our obesity have a tremendous motivation to get healthy. After being banded, I lost around 100 lbs. and was three months out from bilateral hip replacement. There are times I am so mad at myself for allowing myself to get so bad but there are other times when I think I might not have been as successful if I hadn't gotten so bad. If you are basically healthy and finding success without WLS, yes...give it some more thought. If you cannot keep the weight off, you know the WLS is still a viable option for you.

That before picture you posted yesterday broke my heart. You looked so sad and defeated and I just wanted to cry. I have a smile on my face in my before pics so you can't see the terribly unhappy person I was. But just like you, I stayed on life's sideline and did not participate in anything. Not any more thank goodness.

When are you coming back this way Tammi? All my gals want to go to NO but no one is taking charge...and Christmas will be here before you know it. I don't think it's gonna happen...

What comes first...the chicken or the egg? Just this morning, I ran into two ladies I used to talk to riding the train into work. I haven't seen either of them for months...sometimes schedules change and suddenly someone you saw daily, you never see anymore. The last time they saw me, I guess I was still on the cane. Which also meant they saw me 30+ pounds ago, the old haircut ago, and likely no makeup at that time. I know I have changed enormously over the last year since I got my hips replaced but it comes to the forefront when someone tells you that you look amazing. Did the confidence come first, or does one get confidence when the feedback is so positive?

Salem...if you find that you are hating your body after you lose the weight, think about discussing it with a professional. I am still working on body image issues. I've lost more than half my size and was only noticing the negatives and not the positives. I'm getting there but it is absolutely a process...and a process that some of us need therapy to help us manage. Oh...and I'm far from the only one with this problem. When you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself, therapy is a good idea.

This is probably the hardest part because it is very much like a detox. Hang in there...don't let this part of it deter you from your goals.

You are a spectacular woman. The way you have reclaimed your life is nothing short of amazing. I remember when you came to this forum and I have been watching your journey ever since. You have been an inspiration for me even as I have inspired others. I am humbled to call you my friend and I wish you nothing less than all the happiness in this world. Much love to you as you Celebrate this monumentous anniversary.

OK...he's interested. He just texted me good morning.

OMG!! I just fell off the couch I'm laughing so hard! You are something else girl!! No..he didn't get any tongue. Can't give it all away on the first date now, can I?

People who don't struggle with weight, or those who are not in the right place to do something about it are not always the best support for us....even if it's good friends and/or family. I found more support and understanding on this forum than I ever thought possible and I am convinced that my success is in great measure also due to the wonderful people I've met here. Stick with us, and you'll get all the support you need.

Thank you so much for putting it out there. I also have the saggy skin and my belly looks alot like yours. I've learned to camouflage it well and I also look fine in clothes. I don't know if I will undergo plastic surgery. I am considering it but I'd have to pay for it out of pocket so I have to really make sure if I go ahead, it's for the right reasons. You are a beautiful lady and I want to congratulate you on your weight loss.

We met at a little after six and he walked me home at 10. (it's OK girls...I live in a doorman building so I don't have to worry about anyone ever coming to my apartment unexpectedly) So we hesitated a bit but then had a nice sweet kiss at the end. I think I like him. I think he likes me. We seem to have alot in common. In fact...I'd bet money that he's had WLS. He told me he had a knee replacement so I told him about the hips. I never thought I'd say anything that personal on a first date but it felt OK to tell him. Eventually we got around to talking about having to lose weight so that the replacements would work optimally. He's still overweight but I don't care. He's a nice man and we talked very easily. He mentioned his struggles losing weight and I couldn't keep quiet. I didn't tell him I was banded but when I did tell him that I struggled as well, he looked incredulous...which I understand now. If you look at me without knowing my history, I don't look like someone with weight issues. Good lesson for me never to judge a book by it's cover. I hope he asks me out again.

Lisa....I knew sooner or later, you'd crack. You are amazing and can't be amazing all the time without shortchanging something and you are right...the something is you. Lord knows we have trouble putting ourselves first. If we do, we're selfish. Or we feel guilty. Taking care of ourselves is not the same as narcisism though I suspect we think it is. I saw the therapist yesterday and we talked almost the whole time about my discomfort in being noticed. And I mean by my family. I always hid in the background and I know that gaining back so much of the weight I lost 20 years ago was partly related to these issues. We need to put ourselves, if not first, then certainly not last. We are all works in progress whether we've made our weight goals or not. It's so much a process and I am understanding more now that it's a lifetime process....which makes the support we give each other even more important.

You are a terrific group for sure. I'm so glad that I found this forum and all you wonderful people.

I love all your posts...CG girl, I nearly sprayed my keyboard with the mouthfull of coffee I was swallowing when I read what you wrote! I know you were dating Di...I remember when you wrote about it and I thought you were so brave to get out there and tackle something that still seems so scary to me. I didn't want to post this on the general forum..I don't need/want judgement. Not that I'd be judged, but I'd rather just keep this story here in our little private thread for the time being. It's support I'm looking for and you are all my friends even though I've only met a few of you F2F. Gosh, I wish we could do some type of get together so we can meet. Lisa and I had such an awesome time with HealthyNewMe when she came to NYC and I've met a few gals from the forum through our support group. It would be such a blast to hug you all. I'd also love to meet the guys as well. Jim and David at least. And TMF...he's a hoot as well. OK...back to work. Really. LOL.

OK friends, I decided a long time ago to be honest and forthcoming on this site to help myself and others partaking in the experience of WLS. You all know just about everything...from my bathroom habits to the fact that I see a therapist to help me with body image issues and all that go with it. So..the last big hurdle had to do with the opposite sex. I've been alone for a long time for many reasons...not just the weight gain. With help from my therapist, I decided to go on some of those dating websites even though I am still very uncomfortable with my body. I am still working out my issues and whether or not I'll get any plastic surgery. If I do it, it has to be for the right reasons and not to try to achieve some unrealistic idea of perfection. Part of this process is to admit I would like to have a man in my life. I don't need to have a man, but I would like to try dating again. Well...I've been chatting with a few different men and I am meeting one of them tomorrow night. It's not the first date I've been on actually...I went out with a lawyer I met online a few weeks ago. He never shut up so I figured I'd just eat and enjoy an evening out knowing there wouldn't be a second date. But this one I like. I've talked to him on the phone for a few weeks and we seem to be hitting it off. I'll let you all know how it goes. I have to keep telling myself that he would be a lucky guy to go out with me. Not an easy thing to do when one battles self esteem issues all the time, but you have to start somewhere right? I've adopted a little saying in my head that comes from an old proverb: 'A virtuous woman is worth a price above rubies'. I have to remind myself that I am worthy of a good man's intentions. Wish me luck ya'll and I'll keep you posted.

I went to the hospital this morning to have a stress test. I need a colonoscopy and my doctor wanted something checked out regarding my ECG. I've been through hell and back in terms of my health so I'm not going to worry about anything unless or until I have to. But the visit was chock full of NSVs from the gown being too big on me (rather than my having to hold it closed, or even wear two of them, back to front and front to back) to the nurse being blown away when she saw my pre band photo once she pulled up my electronic records to fitting into the echo machine. One time I had to have a special part put into the MRI machine so my huge trunk-like leg would fit into it. Talk about embarrassing. I remember with such intensity, worrying about almost every situation in terms of my once obese body. Would I fit into something? Would I break something? Would someone say something nasty to me? Would I embarrass whomever I was with? Right now these feelings are very strong because the weight loss is new. I need to find that balance so I don't focus on it, but I don't lose sight of it either. I don't ever ever ever want to be heavy again.

Oh honey...thank you for the compliment but I agree with the gals who want to smack you upside your head. You are doing great. It's not about how much weight you are losing...it's about living our lives. When I read about folks getting out and exercising, or buying clothes they never thought they would wear again, or just being engaged with life again, it makes me feel just so great. I take the Water exercise class at my local Y and not only am I getting the exercise, I've made some really nice friends and I look forward to going to the class. What a difference from before being banded to now. I'm just so much happier with my situation now and I'm sure you are as well.

Just wanted to mention that I need new stockings. I'm wearing a pair I got from the back of the drawer and now I know why they are there. Talk about baggy ankles...I keep having to pull them up so high that the waistband is up under my boobs. I know...TMI for the guys on this thread but you're all married so you know the score. Have a great Monday everyone!

Congratulations. Great job so far. And it's so comforting to see long time bandsters who are still happy with their choice of WLS.

Same thing happened to me. I had to lose an awful lot of weight just to go down one size from 26 to 24 pants. But as you lose, it takes less and less weight to move to smaller sizes. I just went from an 8 to a 6 pant and only lost about 10 lbs. to get there. Don't worry about it...this is how it goes for alot of us.

I keep 100 calorie packs of popcorn, pretzels, and Cookies in the house so that if I must have a snack, I don't do something stupid. I don't eat these things often but they usually ease the craving without overdoing it. What I really find helps me if I'm a little hungry but don't want to make bad choices is the Laughing Cow light cheese wedges. They're only 35 calories a wedge and one always does the trick for me.

Great post Cheryl!

OMG....I fart all the damn time. Even if I try to hold it in, I can't. Sometimes when I walk in the hallway at work, I'm tooting away and just praying no one hears it.