gowalking

I don't know that this is a pep talk. What I can tell you is how much I understand how you feel and what's going on in your head. I was so unhappy with how my body was looking that I started seeing the therapist because of it. I've been seeing her since late last year and I'm just now starting to get comfortable enough that I can at least recognize myself in the mirror. I also still stand there and stare at myself when I'm naked and try to take in the wrinkled skin that is my new reality. I took the biggest risk possible in my mind by dating again. I haven't had to make the hard decision yet to show anyone what I look like under my clothes. That's still in my future and may never come to pass. I am learning to value myself as I did not for much of my life and part of that value system for me at least is that he will have to be a truly worthy man for me to become physical with him. I'm also working on deciding if plastic surgery is in my future or not. Again...if I do it, it has to be for the right reasons and I'm just not there yet. I'm glad you went to an OA meeting. Anything is better than reaching for the food when we are going through difficult times. This journey is so much more than about weight loss. That's the physical part of it but we all have emotional issues that led us to become obese. Those issues are alot harder to deal with than losing weight. I know you feel very vulnerable right now and imperfections are difficult to handle. Please know that you have great support here on this forum and we're all behind you as you tackle the tough job of living this new life we have all found. You know we've all had good and bad days...or even weeks/months. This is a journey of ups and downs and we're with you to celebrate the good and support you during the difficult. I'd be happy to talk on the phone if you want. Just PM me and we can exchange numbers. Liz

I started to laugh when I read this post but realized if one is not banded, then it's a legitimate question. So yes...as the others have said, you cannot feel the band. As you lose weight, you will be able to feel the port because it will stick out but you don't feel anything 'inside' your body.

Ask at your doctor's office about career opportunities in the field. The first things I thought of are the nutritionists and the patient liason position. Maybe even something on the clinical side if you're willing to go for another degree. My friend's daughter graduated college with a graphics design degree and she couldn't find a decent job. She went back to school and got her nursing degree and is now taking classes to be a PA. She's only 35 and has a whole new career...and one that she will always be able to earn a living from I might add. Good luck. Let us know if you find something that piques your interest.

Shortly after I was banded and using myfitnesspal regularly, I plugged in an 'average' serviing of spaghetti and tomato sauce. When I say average, I mean my pre-band average which was often half the box or more. To my horror, but not surprise, that was probably 2,000+ calories alone. I think I once plugged in a whole day of eating pre-band and saw that I often consumed 3,500 calories or more a day. No wonder I was morbidly obese. Sheesh. Anyway, the second 'surprise' I got was when I started feeling more comfortable and was ready to eat out again, i checked the calorie count of the crab legs at Red Lobster. I figured as long as I stayed away from the drawn butter, I'd be OK. Well...no not really. The calories were not the problem as much as the sodium. I think they boil or steam the damn things in ocean Water, the sodium is so high. People forget about the sodium count. Water weight though it may be, it's still weight. Now I'm more than 18 months out and I know what are good choices and what are not. I live in NYC and eating out isn't a treat, it's a way of life. But if you go to 'better' restaurants, you can get simple grilled fish and wonderful sides. I share alot these days and by doing that, I don't eat too much of anything which limits the damage.

Very good advice. Since I can't/don't eat much, I make sure what I do eat is really good tasting and of good quality. I also find that eating items I used to devour doesn't happen much since Have to be so selective. And like you, I am in NYC and privvy to some of the best food out there thank goodness. A few bites of something wonderful is a damn sight better than a plateful of something ordinary. At least, that's how I see it.

Good article. I'm learning to move on when something about the relationship isn't quite clicking instead of trying to figure out what happened. I always make sure to give them a chance to respond in case of a technical glitch (such as a missed phone call or text or even a misunderstanding) but then it's bye bye my friend. It's a good lesson to learn. That, and being happy with yourself and not relying on someone else to make you happy. That never works. I'm very happy with my life especially as I am in a much better place physically with my much improved mobility. If I meet someone, great. If not, I'm quite content to be on my own. Being alone is very different than being lonely.

I agree with CG. Chasing...you should do a copy and paste. I also hope that you can continue to avoid the negative posts, but spend more time here on the forum so folks can see success stories that will help to balance the averages..or even trump them. There are WAY more successes than failures out there!

Hi Patty. Congrats on your upcoming surgery. I know that you are nervous..it's perfectly normal. I'm sure you will do well. Again..follow your doctor's instructions and you'll be fine. As far as your question...yes, I can't explain it nor can my surgeon except that there are a few of us who have restriction without the fills. There are some right here on this forum as a matter of fact so while it's rare, it's not unheard of. But I think I approach eating a little differently than most. Since I know I won't get stuck, and can eat small meals or snack all day long if I choose, I have to listen really hard to my band. I can overeat if I'm not paying attention. I have done that once in a while and even one bite too many can make me go from satiated to uncomfortable so I have to know when to stop. If I'm full, I've gone too far. In order to make sure this doesn't happen, I weigh and measure my food at home, and pay very close attention to my portions when I'm out in a restaurant or someone's house. As good as something might taste, I can't eat too much of it. I have to stop as soon as the hunger is gone, but that's always before feeling full. Those who can differentiate will do well. Those who can't may struggle till they figure it out. Good luck and keep us posted on your surgery and progress.

I would say for you to just monitor how you are feeling and if something seems off, call your doctor. Wishing you well.

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. What would you like to know? I've been on anti-inflammatories before and after banding. I've taken steroid shots for pain and inflammation...all post banding. I've been on Tramadol and a myriad of other pain meds and anti-inflammatories. I've not had any issues with the band while on (and still on mind you) NSAIDS/pain meds. Now...I will tell you that I have no fills and maybe that's a factor but I needed those treatments and went ahead with them. It comes down to one thing. Does the benefit outweigh the risk? For me, it did.

I'm also scheduling this procedure John. I put it off for six years but my PCP yelled at me last visit so I know I just have to suck it up and get it done. I see the doctor a week from today and plan to ask just that question about the drink and how the lapband affects it if at all. I'll let you know what the doctor says, OK?

Come on people...we really have to support each other and not bash each other. Just yesterday, I had a wonderful conversation with a colleague in my office who works in IT. He upgraded my computer and when he set me up with the new one, he commented on my photos. I have a couple before and after ones on my desktop that I keep there for when I want to post them with a thread. At first I was embarrased that he saw them, and then perturbed that he mentioned it. Then he asked how much I lost and I though oh gosh, what nerve to ask something so personal. Then I took a good look at the guy and realized the reason for his interest. I asked him which surgery he had and he told me the sleeve. He also said he had dropped 230 lbs. in just over a year. Well....then I told him I was banded and what my stats were and before you knew it, we were like two old friends and talking about challenges, successes, excess skin, all of it. I congratulated him on his loss and he just said to me, 'you are lookin' real good girl'. I'm probably twice his age but a compliment is a compliment and it was really nice to hear it. It didn't matter that we had different WLS, all that mattered was that we were both successful and so very happy with our outcomes. Why can't we do that here on this site? Let's stop the nonsense, OK?

I responded to your questions but just be aware that my situation is not typical in that I've not had any fills. Because of this, I've never gotten stuck or slimed or any other issue along those lines. I also did not experience bandster hell as I had correct restriction from day one. On the other hand, I have to work that much harder to eat slow, eat small bites, and chew well.

I can't help you in terms of percentages of complications but what I can tell you is that your concerns about the unknown are very common. I was terrified pre-surgery. I couldn't imagine what my life was going to be like without the comfort of food. Well, turns out my life improved so much that overeating was something I didn't want to do even though I could have. It took work, and it's still a temptation to eat poorly or eat too much but when you start to see the success, it gets a whole lot easier to be compliant. I went on a cruise in July and was so happy to be able to walk the ship comfortably and get off at all the ports and go on excursions that I was able to walk away from all that food pretty darn easily. I lost a pound that week. Who loses weight on a cruise? I do. And so will you once you find some success and see how the band works. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

Were we twins separated at birth? Even perceived rejection from the doctor can throw you off, yes? Oh brother do I understand the way your head works. Remember when I wrote about going on a date? Want to know the motivation behind this decision? It's so I can work on trying to not blame myself every time a date goes poorly, or I get a rejection online. I always blame myself....it's somehow my fault because I'm not good enough. I'm working on this now with the therapist. I keep saying over and over again that I cannot control how another person interacts with me and that I am worthy of being loved even if I never find a significant other. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I felt bad after something didn't go as I expected and my first thought was to eat the hurt away. This part of the process is in some ways even more critical than the surgery itself. Hang in there my friend. You did fine today and did not go back to bad behaviors. You will be so proud of yourself tomorrow for not giving into the negative feelings.

OK, can I tell people I know someone famous now?.....

check with your bariatric surgeon. I have joint disease and have been on both anti-inflammatories and steroids. Everything you take is based on risk/benefit and for me, the benefit outweighed the risk.

Just as long as you're OK. I'll have to get out to you to see those pups before they become big ole dogs. We'll have to get a date for the next support group and hopefully I can make it out there to help lead it and to see the doggies.

Congratulations!! This is the real goal. Not a number on the scale but the realization that your life has changed for the better.

Hi cheri. Sounds like you are doing well with the band. Why should you feel alone just because you have friends who didn't have the success that you did? The band seems to be working just fine for you. I would think you would be happy about that and not feel as though you need to move on. Maybe I'm not understanding you post?

Is there anything I can do for you hon?

I read this all the time. I'm able to eat blah blah blah. Doesn't matter what you are able to eat, the fact is that we are all able to eat whatever. Meaning...the band as I understand it, shouldn't stop you from eating nearly anything and if eaten slowly enough, shouldn't stop you from eating way more than normal. When you are able to eat more than you should, or food that is not the best choice, that's the time when the mental resolve must kick in. The band is just a tool and the change needs to come from within. I think because my weight loss has been so significant, people don't always realize I have plenty of moments where I want to eat more than I know I should or make poor choices. It's at those times that I know I just have to tough it out. Thankfully it's not all the time like when I've dieted in the past. But I have my moments as do most of us. You must remember that just because you can overeat, doesn't mean the band isn't workinig correctly. If it doesn't allow you to overeat, I suspect the band might be too tight. I typically don't address this kind of issue because I haven't had fills. As such, I feel that I have no right to talk about it. But I do know from what people say, and what I've seen with a friend of mine who was too tight, this is not the way to live with the band. And it's not the way to have long term success. I want to be this size for the rest of my life. Not for the next few years...but till the day I die. That means I have to find other ways to cope with head hunger or even real hunger when for whatever reason, my band does not give me the restriction I usually have. I'm not naturally thin but I'm trying to think like a thin person. It will never be second nature to me...I am a food addict and will always be one I believe. But just like any other addict, I take it one meal at a time, one day at a time. Today is one of those tough days. I'm sipping iced coffee because I know I need the extra help today. I'm just tired of being so angry at myself for giving in to my addiction and that's what I focus on so that I am OK in the morning regardless of what the scale says. Sorry for the ramble but I have come to realize that often my thoughts are shared by others and I know it helps when you find out that we're not alone in our issues. Have a great Thursday everyone.

Just saw this thread. With all due respect, you should consider my home town one of these days Kitt... New York City is unlike any place else. Culture, nature, architecture, food, entertainment...gosh, I could go on and on. Sometimes I forget because I live here, just how spectacular this place is.

Well, let's see...before I was banded, I was morbidly obese and my joints were so bad that I was looking at living the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I was already using a cane and walking was getting more and more difficult. I tried to diet with not much luck yet again and finally hit rock bottom and decided to get banded because my pain management doctor told me I would need knee replacement and was at that time, too overweight to have a good outcome. I was very very fortunate. I was banded in January 2013 and followed the post op instructions almost to the letter and had no issues. I could not exercise so I made sure to do my best to stay under 1,200 daily calories. I lost enough weight in six months to become eligible for surgery. Everyone thought it would take at least a year for that to happen but it was a good thing I lost quickly because I had found out that I needed both hips replaced even before the knees. This was devastating news to me but I moved forward as I had no choice and had bi-lateral hip replacement surgery in October. As most of you know, it was a very hard surgery and a long and difficult recovery but I am almost a year out and the quality of my life has improved a thousand fold. I can walk fine now and the cane sits in the corner of my bedroom to remind me of what was. I will not need a wheelchair because my pain is a fraction of what it used to be. I couldn't walk a block without having to stop because of the pain and now I'm planning a trip to China next year with my sister because my sister-in-law is moving to Beijing for a year and The Far East has been on my bucket list for the longest time. I never thought I'd be healthy enough to make this trip but I know now that I can. The band has saved my life. Without it, I might be dead and that's not being dramatic, it's being truthful. I also have to say that I was not in a good frame of mind when I was banded. I expected to fail in this as I had failed in all other weight loss attempts but it worked for me just as it was supposed to. It didn't stop me from making bad choices or being hungry. It eased my hunger just enough to make good choices and to not overeat. Also...as I noted, I was morbidly obese. I needed to lose more than 100 lbs. and my primary doctor said I'd not have success with the band because I needed to lose so much weight. I'd never leave my PCP because she is an excellent doctor but I must say that it gives me great satisfaction to say that I am thinner than she is now. I know that there are many people who do not do well with the band but you asked for success stories and I'm the poster child for success with the band and getting back a quality life again. To say I've been reborn is no exaggeration.