gowalking

So...I went on low dose oral steroids less than a month ago and while my pain has lessened...I've gained nearly 7 lbs. I'm going to start to titrate myself off by going to one pill every other night and tell my rheumatologist I want off all together. I think I'd rather have the pain than the weight gain and all the potential side effects.

So, was having a grand old time with the new bf going out to eat, and all that fun stuff with food. Then I noticed last week in particular that my clothes are getting tight...and that won't do at all. I decide to take myself in hand and get back to where I needed to be. Did just that....and gained even more weight. What the hell??? Even friends and co-workers are noticing the gain. They say I look good now...not so drawn. But all I know is that some of my favorite clothing is too tight and I refuse to go back there. A fill I think. Maybe I need another fill. But no...I know that's not it. I'm not walking around hungry all the time. So what's up? Steroids. It's steroids my friends. My rheumatologist perscribed oral steroids low dose for me about six weeks ago to see if that would help with my pain and discomfort from the joint disease. I'm not sure if it's working or not...I feel better sometimes but not all the time. Not when I used to get 'the good stuff' from my pain management doctor to help me break a pain flare. But the light suddenly went on over my head and I just looked up side effects and there it was: weight gain. That sucks. I'm gaining weight and it has nothing to do with food. What crap is that?? Gonna have to have a conversation with the rheumatologist when I see him later this month. He better not tell me to eat less...or I might just bite HIS head off...

Yeah...prednisone. That's what I'm on. I think maybe I'll consider titrating off it and see if the pain worsens to where it's hard to function. That's the problem with chronic pain as all you good friends know. It skews perception and it's hard to know what is tolerable and what is not. Thanks for the feedback and support!

Unfortunately, I can't make it but you are all in good hands with Lisa both as a knowledgeable moderator and an experienced and empathetic friend. Enjoy...can't wait to hear all about it.

I for one am soooo excited for you to start your new life. I expect it will be wonderful!!

Hi Gina. I'm almost four years out from lapband. January will be my 'bandiversary'.

When I was banded in January 2013, I expected to fail. It's why I was banded and not something more invasive. I figured it wouldn't work, I'd have it removed, and continue to eat myself into an early grave. I was terrified and went into this kicking and screaming. Well..it managed to tamp down the hunger enough for me to make good choices and watch the volume. I lost enough weight to become an active member of the human race instead of watching from the sidelines. I can move without pain, I can play with my grandson...and could not with my granddaughter. I fit everywhere and got my life back. What you are going through is normal. Believe me...this will work for you as long as you work it.

You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

that is a very interesting proposition and as a person who works with data and metrics, I'd really like to see the data for failed lap bands and review for commonalities. @@Alex Brecher, what do you think about some data analysis? Not just for bands, but for all surgeries?

I agree with the poster above. You need to work with a therapist to not stress eat. It's not your band my dear, but how you deal with stressful periods in your life. The band can't and won't be a magic wand. It's a tool and has its limits. You need to work on other things that will help you be successful. Sorry for the preachy tone...but I've been there and done that. I see a therapist and have been for more than two years to work on the real weight issues because I know that band won't 'cure' what ails me. Good luck..let us know what you wind up doing.

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done. You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too. Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through. Liz

great! just let me know when you are around and we can try to meet up.

Please stop trying to analyze her and this situation. As painful as it is and will be, you just have to end it...and end it in your head as well. What you are doing is tantamount to picking at a scab over and over. It will never heal if you don't leave it alone.

Hi @ginabee38. Unfortunately, not really as there was some interest at first but it waned over time. Lisa and I however are around still and can help with questions that you have. Also...I'm in Manhattan and would be happy to meet up with you if you are in the area.

@B-52...speak to your surgeon and have him/her put the port behind the abdominal muscle as I noted I had done. The bump is almost completely gone. The only issue is that fills can be a little more painful as the needle is going through the muscle and usually does not for most patients.

Here's what I think you should say to her. Tell her you feel there is no future for the two of you...and that you cannot be 'just friends' with her. You simply tell her this and you don't try to tell her what she may not be able to hear and/or process. Believe me...I understand that to walk away with no explanation seems cruel but any more than what is necessary won't help either. As hard as it may be for her, even if you tell her via email, it's better than nothing. But then....you must stay away. No more contact. Otherwise, it's like a parent who threatens a child with some type of punishment and then doesn't see it through. The child then knows the parent isn't serious. If you want this relationship over, you must must must break off contact after you 'explain' why it cannot continue at any level. Hope this helps.

Just my observation based on what you've told us...and what others are posting. I don't know that she's playing you...I think she is a very confused and scared young lady. I also think you still have feelings for her and want to help or even fix her. Here's the thing...some people can't be fixed. I think she's one of them. I think she is toxic to you...even if she doesn't mean to be. I think as hard as it will be, you need to cut contact with her as you note above. I don't even know if you should wait for her to start the new job. If she's going to be devastated by your move, her job won't make a difference in how she feels. You, however, need to do what you need to do. If cutting her out is what you need to do...do it now. And this is coming from a woman who only months ago, had this happen to her. Not that I was toxic to this man I was dating..but he felt the relationship had run it's course. I didn't know he felt that way so it was a hurtful thing he did but telling someone it's over is never easy..and there's never a good time if the feelings are not mutual. Good luck and keep us posted.

I wish I had known how successful I would be. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back. I don't think you can calculate something like that but in my experience, it's beyond belief. I used to be housebound almost as I could barely walk. Now I can do almost anything and my life has improved a thousand percent. As far as the port goes....I lost so much weight that it stuck out like a golf ball under my skin. I had a small surgery to have it put behind the abdominal muscle. Now I hardly notice it.

Hi Sarah. It's more than possible as I too lost all my excess weight on a steady basis. It still took more than a year as I had an awful lot to lose. I never lost more than 3 lbs. in a week, but it was a fairly steady loss of 1-2 lbs. per week. and I also did not get any fills for a long time. Even now..almost four years after being banded, I have less than 5 ccs in the band. Just know however, that this is NOT typical. Most banded folk...and most WLS folk, regardless of what surgery they got, do not lose weight in a steady fashion. It tends to be in fits and starts...and sometimes you can gain, or get off track. Just as a heads up, I used the myfitnesspal app to track my food. it was a great help to me so consider it as well. good luck and glad t hear of your success!

I agree. This is likely not related to weight loss at all but possibly musculoskelatal or neurological. Speak with your primary physician immediately.

While some posters are recommending revisions, I'd say that your issues are emotional rather than the band not working. You've learned how to eat around it and that's the problem. Talk to the doctor, be honest with him or her, and see what he/she says about fills vs. a mind reset so to speak. It might behoove you to consider working with a therapist. I do. She had been banded at one time and understands better than most, how to help me to navigate the world of successful WLS and more importantly, how to maintain that success. Good luck and keep us posted.

I don't know why it works for some and not for others. All I know is that so far, it works great for me...no band complications and as long as I do my part, no serious weight gain since hitting goal. I'm hoping to one day get to the same marks as our founder Alex, who has his band for around ten years now. I'm not far from my four year anniversary so I've a ways to go yet.

What a beautiful picture! You look spectacular. Truly. Regarding this date and how it impacts you....yesterday was 22 years that my husband passed away. Once again, my son posted the picture of him bringing his daughter to the grave to pay his respects...and to show Alexis off to him. Obviously I can't compare one year to 22 but what I want to do is give you a glimpse into the future. The anniversary date will not be as raw and difficult as it is now. And as time passes, you may use this date to remind yourself how far you've come and how much you still enjoy life even with him not part of it. I don't mean this in a bad way...I mean this to show you that you must keep enjoying your life...as that is what he would have wanted. I know that's what Alan would have wanted. I live my life hoping he is doing so with me...even if it's as a passenger in my heart. I took great satisfaction that 22 years after Alan passed from this world...his wife is doing great. Living the dream so to speak. I also take the same great satisfaction to see that our children went about their business yesterday spending time with their families and also living their lives as they do every day by being wonderful fathers and husbands. This is a better memorial to him than any words or monuments can say. Hang in there dear heart...I know how hard today is for you. Tomorrow will be the start of a new day, and embrace it with joy and enthusiasm as it's the best way you can honor your husband and the love you shared. Holding you in my heart. Liz

THAT...is a gorgeous dress! Oh and the body inside it isn't bad either...

Help keep us "newbies" motivated as we navigate through all of the pre-op requirements. What can you do now that you couldn't do before? You've read about some of the physical things people can do that they couldn't before. Let me tell you about the other stuff. How about being able to look people in the eye knowing there is nothing they can comment on or make a face at that they might have before. How about feeling comfortable enough to talk to people, or go on a date, or assert yourself, or apply for a job you may not have before. How about feeling normal or even good about how you look. How about not worrying about what others are thinking, how about seeing something in the window of a store and knowing you can go in there and try it on. How about just the fact that you are even in the mindset to be looking at all at something in the window because you want to be noticed...and not for the wrong reason. Shall I go on? Yes...the physical stuff is wonderful. I'd be one to know as I once was unable to walk more than a few steps before having to sit again. But along with being able to move better, or fit somewhere better...how about feeling like you fit into this world and not just into a seat. I feel blessed every day since having my surgery because I checked out of life for a long time and am doing everything I want and hope that I can make up for the years I just existed. Hope that's enough motivation for the newbies. If not, I have a list a mile long. Welcome to the forum!