gowalking

It's not about what challenges we face, but how we deal with them and right now, you inspire me with your strength and commitment to your health and well-being.

You're getting very good advice here Mama. You will have to learn as others have said, to stay away from the carbs and fats and think Protein first. I can count on one hand, the number if times I've eaten carbs at breakfast since being banded. It's all about protein. Mostly eggs, oatmeal, yogurt. Same for lunch and dinner. I do have carbs...but in very limited amounts. Just remember success will happen if you eat less and eat smart. The surgery just helps to make that easier to adhere to. Good luck!

I just read a post about how long it takes to see what others see and I thought this was a good topic to bring up on the forum. Most of the time, we ask this question in terms of seeing the newer, smaller versions of ourselves but this is really about what we see or don't see whether we're bigger or smaller. For me..I never really saw how large I was when I looked in the mirror. Then I would be shocked and mortified when I'd see a picture of myself because there was no doubt I was a very fat woman. What is it about folks like us who cannot see what is obvious? I don't know that answer, but it's an interesting question. So...what happens when we lose the weight? For me, and many others, I had a terrible moment a few weeks after hip replacement surgery, and about ten months out of band surgery. I was about 170 lbs. at that time and down about 90 lbs. from my heaviest. My hair was thin and looked terrible...my face was saggy and I saw an old woman staring back at me when I looked in the mirror. It was so bad that I found myself in therapy shortly thereafter. I needed to get help to recognize myself. Thank goodness I was seeing a professional because once I went back to work after being on disability for two months, no one recognized me in the office...because I looked so much thinner and was not on the cane much anymore. If not for my therapist, I might have gone crackers during this time. So while she has helped me, I am even nearly a year later, still struggling with what I see versus what everyone else sees. I am surely getting used to the way I look now and my head tells me I am thin...pictures bear this out, and I do find that I can recognize myself when I look at my reflection. What I still struggle with is that I feel like I'm still a fat girl who has managed to figure out a way to fake it. Because I look thin, people think I've always been this way and have no idea what it's like to be thinking about staying in control all the time when it comes to food. Just yesterday, I was in an all day training going out of my mind. I found myself nibbling much of the day. A little bit here, a little bit there. I even had two Cookies after lunch and I never do that. What I was thinking though was that if I was still fat, I'd be embarrased to go for those cookies knowing that everyone would be wondering why I was eating them considering how big I was. But because I'm not big anymore, no one paid attention. The problem was....those cookies were as deadly for me yesterday as they would have been 145 lbs. ago. I have my therapist tonight and I'm going to talk about this. I want to do everything I can to not put weight back on and that includes high calorie crap that gets past the band with ease. I may have lost all this weight, but I am still very much a work in progress and still need this site for the help and support you all give me. Sorry for the length of this post...but would welcome your thoughts and comments.

One of my friends at work presumed that since being banded, I'm no longer interested in food. I tried to explain to her that I was VERY interested in food. And more that that, I am enjoying food in a way I didn't before being banded. When I was obese, the point was to eat till I was full. I tasted the food but not really...it was all about the amount of it, and the way I felt holding a big bowl of Pasta. I anesthetized with food but as soon as I was done, I knew nothing had changed. I still was dealing with whatever crap was going on in my life and all I had done was eat more than I needed to yet again. Now, I enjoy food for what it is. To suppress hunger...to enjoy as a social activity, to taste and experience it but not to lose control over it. Food is a much better experience now because it's part of my life, and not the focus of my life. I know some of you say that food is no longer a focus for you but I just wanted to note that it still is for me...but in a better, healthier way.

That's the problem Julie...I can't wrap my head around it. Hence the pictures...and more than a year of therapy. We are now finally getting to some of the meat of the issues that helped to make me turn to food so I can try not to do it again if/when I run into trouble. I look at those pictures because I know I'm not the same person anymore...not physically or emotionally. When I feel like I'm still the fat girl, I look at the pictures so I can put my head in the right space. I'm still on the journey my friend..similar to your journey since becoming a widow. It takes a long time to become a new person whether it's related to the outside, or the inside. Just a tip honey....I thought at some point I would stop using 'Mrs. when being addressed but for whatever reason, I never felt uncomfortable with it and 20 years widowed, I'm still Mrs. Winters. You do what feels right but don't worry if it is or not...as long as you are OK with it, go with it.

Just packed up all my oversized towels to bring down to Florida to use on the chaise lounges down at the pool. I replaced them all with 'regular' bath towels because the oversized ones are way too big for me. I can wrap it around me almost twice and I can't tuck it in because it's too heavy now.. Never thought I'd have to replace my towels of all things...

Although I am two years out from being banded, I have a number of body image issues and I find that photographs help me to see what I have trouble seeing when I look in the mirror. I know that pictures also help my buddies on this site when they wonder if they too can transform even with high BMI's or complicated co-morbidities. Here's the proof that it can be done by just limiting intake, making healthy choices, and moving a little bit. I haven't done anything to excess and have still found success. If I can do it, so can any of you. The first set of pictures is from our company Christmas party. The before is from 2011 and the after is from 2014. The other set of pictures is from a hotel I stayed at in June of 2013 and again last week. At the time of the first picture, I was already down nearly 70 lbs. and the after pic is me down 155 lbs.

Aww..thank you @amponder. Are you on a laptop? If yes, you just need to click on the 'attach' icon and upload the pictures to your post.

So proud of all you gals. Facing the challenges we have without resorting to eating the feelings away or anesthetizing with food. I'm going through my own stuff and thank goodness for my therapist who helps me to work on what is bothering me instead of getting scared of the bad feelings and eating to avoid them. We are strong women and we have to keep reminding ourselves of that. We have to know we are worthy of having everything we desire and there's no reason why we cannot.

You'll be fine on the cruise @Sharpie. When I was on my cruise last summer, there was plenty of protein and plenty of good choices. I actually lost a half a pound that week. Enjoy!

Hi @Slimsoon1988. We'll provide information once we have a date and location for the next meeting. It will likely be in the spring but not exactly sure when. You can always PM me or Lisa as well if you want to know the status of our next get together. Liz

You know what Arlene...it's easy to be disciplined when I see the scars from my hip replacements every time I get undressed. I know that keeping the weight off will let me keep my knees for as long as possible. It's quite a motivator. I'm sure that if not for the hip replacements, I'd have alot more trouble staying on the straight and narrow. Besides..you've lost 80 lbs. and that ain't nothing to sneeze at.

Hi friends. Finally got hold of one of the professional shots taken at the Christmas party and wanted you all to see it. Liz

I've also lost around 150 lbs. and my tummy looks alot like yours. I have flabby thighs, a saggy ass, breasts that look like I fed all of Cleveland, and a turkey neck. I think about plastic surgery all the time and might have work done in the future. I need a break from any surgical procedures as I've had several over the past two years but I will consider it for 2016 if I still feel the need. I haven't had a flat stomach since I was 16 years old and part of me wants that fixed badly. The other part of me feels that I shouldn't be so critical of myself. I hope to have a better handle on my motivations next year so that I make the right decision for me and not for anyone else.

On the day of my surgery, January 14th, 2013, I was morbidly obese with a BMI over 50. I was suffering from horrific knee pain and was seriously looking at spending my life in a wheelchair. I couldn’t walk more than a block without having to sit and rest. I couldn’t do the simplest of things like put on socks, or pick up my legs to shave them in the shower. I knew I was probably done traveling. I had just been on a cruise where I couldn’t get off the ship because of the pain I was in. I was wearing 4X tops and 26/28 slacks. I knew I was going to have to buy clothes online soon because I was growing out of these sizes and even places like Avenue didn’t carry sizes much bigger. The larger I got, the more invisible I felt. I worried about being able to move in spaces that were no longer big enough for me. I made sure to get to the conference room at work before anyone else so I didn’t have to bring unwarranted attention to myself by forcing my colleagues to squeeze in just so I could pass them if I couldn’t get a seat near the door. I worried about restaurants with tight seating…airplanes with narrow seats and the looks from whoever was stuck sitting next to me. Oh God…just thinking about this even now makes me so very sad and hurt because the list of painful and embarrasing situations is a long one. That, however, was before my surgery. Today is my two year bandiversary and during those two years, I have lost around 150 lbs. That’s an amazing amount of excess weight to carry around on a very small frame. No wonder I was so uncomfortable. Today, I feel light as a feather. I can move normally again. As many of you know, I needed my hips replaced even before dealing with my knees. Turns out that my knees are fairly stable now as there is no excess weight to put unnecessary pressure on the joints. I can do all those things healthy people take for granted. I can walk anywhere and everywhere, I can cross my legs like a woman should be able to do, I can go up and down stairs…..hell, I can open my legs again and feel that marvelous weight of a man on top of me (sorry if that’s TMI but we're all adults here and sex is an important part of life that I thought was also in my past) Most of all…I fit in the world again and because I fit, the world has opened back up to me. After 20+ years, I'm wearing petites again. I'm in small sized tops and size 6 slacks. My legs aren't tree trunks anymore and I'm wearing dresses. And just an FYI for you ladies…If you want to attract a man, wear a dress. Works like a charm.. I love to clothes shop again. In these small sizes, the clothes are cute and pretty and I don't buy anything anymore just because it fits. I wear makeup again. My hair is styled attractively. I match the jewelry/bag/shoes to the outfits. Like I said above, I am very much aware now that people notice me. What an amazing transformation that is. To know that people see you again is such a powerful feeling….especially when you've felt invisible for so long. I’m traveling again. In fact, I’m planning a trip to China or now possibly a Nordic cruise to Finland and Norway sometime later this year. I hope to go on one big trip every year. There are so many places I didn't think I'd ever get to and now I need to make up for lost time and go wherever my heart desires. My grandson is due in April. I’ll be able to play with this one. My granddaughter missed out on a lot because I couldn’t keep up with her. She and I did a lot of arts and crafts, and reading books together or watching TV. I’m sure she didn’t feel like she missed anything but I know she did and this time around, Grandma is planning on climbing the monkey bars with this little guy when he gets old enough. One last thing I wanted to put out there. I must thank Alex for creating this site. It has been my salvation. The people here were and are, instrumental in my success. I have said things in my posts that no one outside of this place can truly understand and for that I am so very grateful. I am also blessed to call many of the folks on this site good friends of mine and I can’t wait to meet some of you face to face so I can give you a big hug. Here’s how I feel today..and most days in fact….I’m a person with two birthdays now. One in August of 1958 when I was born, and one in January of 2013 when I was re-born. For anyone reading this post, congrats if you have also found success in your weight loss journey and to those struggling, or who are pre-op and full of doubts and worries, know that a new life is possible for each and every one of you. I'm not special so if I could do this, so can you...no matter what your co-morbidities, starting BMI, or any other challenges you are facing. Here's a couple of before/after pics so you can see what 150 lbs. gone looks like. The ticker is just data but a picture is worth a thousand words as they say.

Dr. Ren did my lapband surgery. You are in good hands.

FYI freshair...I eat whatever I want in smaller portions and have lost more than 150 lbs. Just saying...

Thanks for that. I surely don't feel like I'm anyone's hero. I just know I did the right thing and that tomorrow will be better, and the next day better still. What would have been bad would have been accepting the relationship as it was.

Took a huge step this morning. Got tired of the limitations set by one of the fellows I've been involved with for quite some time now. I ended it. Not him...me. Am slowly learing that there's nothing wrong with wanting more than someone can give. It just means that I have to be strong enough to say I'm worth it. God...this is so much more than just a weight loss journey. Glad to have friends here who will listen and not judge. I knew dating would be fraught with danger. My pattern has always been to fill up the emotional void with food. This was a good thing I did even though I'm sad. I'm reminding myself that I'm not mourning the relationship as it was...I'm mourning the relationship the way I wanted it to be. Most importantly, I'm not feeling out of control. Going to go to the pool tonight and get back to doing what makes me happy. Have a great hump day all.

Check with your doctor about alcohol. They all seem to have differing instructions on that.

No baths till the incisions were fully healed...I believe it was a few weeks but check with your doctor to confirm.

Lo mein is Pasta, yes. There's also veggies and sometimes Protein as well in the dish if you have beef or shrimp or chicken Lo Mein. Chow mein is vegetables. But remember...Chinese food is very high in sodium and sugar. I'm not saying don't eat it, but make it a once in a while item...not something to eat regularly. And of course, keep track of any rice you eat as well. Pasta or rice...it's still carbs.

You bet. I can also grab it from underneath and pull it up. I have even been thinking I might have to revise it to a lower profile at some point because it's so pronounced. I don't think I even noticed the port when I was heavier. You should probably check with the doctor just in case there's something up with your port, but I suspect it's just the same as my experience. My surgeon already told me this is all due to the lack of belly fat when I saw her around Christmas time.

You are in the middle of the hardest part of this process. You are starving and scared. I understand exactly how you feel. I wish I could give you a glimpse of your future but since I can't, I'll tell you about what I went through. I was so afraid that my life would be over without the comfort of food. Silly me...my life not only is NOT over, it's better than ever. I eat smaller portions of everything and not only do I not feel deprived, but I feel great because I'm in control. I can do almost anything I want. My size and former joint pain kept me from living my life. Now I'm back in the game. You will get through this and once the weight starts to come off, you will feel empowered. I cannot tell you how much I love my life now. I am so sad to know how much I lost when I was obese but I guess I needed to get to rock bottom first. Hang in there. It's all so worth it, I promise.

Hi Stacie. I saw my PCP on Friday and she told me I had to increase my Protein in order to stop losing weight. I'm currently around 112 lbs. unclothed and she said that means I'm actually around 102 lbs. as I have about ten pounds of excess skin. She does not want me to be under 100 lbs. (minus the skin). I don't know anything about inches lost however so hopefully someone can respond to that. If I do decide to get plastic surgery, it will be next year at the earliest which would put me many months after 'goal' weight. I'm actually almost a year out from reaching the 150 lbs. goal that I have on my ticker but it doesn't matter as that goal was just a number my doctor threw out there. At 150 lbs., I was still overweight per the BMI scale. My doctor just felt that at 150 lbs, I'd be a healthier weight, not necessarily an ideal weight. I had multiple surgeries in 2013/2014 and as much as I'd like to remove the skin, I need a break from hospitals, doctors, and post op pain. So...maybe next year. Or maybe not. I'm just not sure yet.