gowalking

Hi kitt.. I'm in Aventura... on the border of Dade and Broward.

Hi all. Heard from my son.. more snow up North. The weather here in South Florida has been nothing short of spectacular. Wish you gals could be here with me hanging out poolside.

Alex just set it up. I hope it takes off big time. Here's the link: http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1180-singles-forum-new/

I'm dating again after being out of the picture for a long time. Will be nice to share stories and info with others getting back in the game.

Lol.

I'm working with a therapist because I am also trying to figure this all out too. I was a 26/28 and now am wearing a 6 or 8 so I understand your issue very well.

Oh please...lol. I did this at 54 and as you can see from the other posts, there are plenty of people who are older than you. You have lots and lots of years left and there's no reason why you cannot change your life now. The five years prior to my surgery were awful. My world was shrinking as I was getting larger. I'm healthier and smaller than I've been since I was a young woman and I'm living like a young woman again. Age is just a number!

No...I don't have the same tightness issues like most other bandsters because I've never had a fill. That's why I never comment on anything like sliming, getting stuck, being tight, etc. I know, I know...even my bariatric surgeon can't believe that I've been able to stay in the green after all this time with no adjustments.

So I'm packed and ready to head to Florida tomorrow...but as timing is everything..I am suffering from a pretty nasty cold at the moment. I think with so many colleagues sick, I finally succumbed. My nose is sooo red and the skin chapped because of how much I am blowing my nose. But even with a cold, I'm still going to bake in the sun and try to soak up as much of the heat as possible. Was supposed to meet a new guy this afternoon but I canceled...we'll meet up after I'm back. Oh..and I had to buy a smaller wetsuit for the pool. The salesman needed to know what size to bring up from the stockroom and asked me two questions that would have sent me into a tailspin once upon a time. He asked me what I weighed and what size was the dress I had on. First time in a veeery long time that I answered honestly. Have a great Saturday everyone.

This is all perfectly normal. It can take a couple of weeks for the gas to dissipate and that's why you have the shoulder/rib pain. Walk around..it helps. Also, take something to help you do #2 like Mirilax. It's also very common to be constipated. Your insides are swollen from surgery and that's likely why you feel bloated. It won't last. Enjoy the wedding...follow your protocol...don't 'try' anything you shouldn't and you will do fine. Good luck and welcome to the banded life.

It's OK to feel however you feel. I don't think much of 'celebrities' who pass away but twice, I've been deeply affected by the passing of someone famous. First was Lucille Ball. I grew up watching Lucy reruns and was just so sad when she died. The second death was Ann Bancroft. I loved her movies and how much she and Mel Brooks loved each other even though she was so sophisticated and beautiful and he was neither of those things to say the least. If Leonard Nimoy's passing affects you, just own it and feel bad about it. And as far as I'm concerned, the man truly did live long and prospered. Not a bad epitaph if you ask me.

I had one creepazoid in the online dating world. I wasn't sure if he was quirky or really thought he was unlovable. Once I realized he had a really poor self image of himself, I extricated myself from any kind of relationship with him. I told him I didn't think we had enough in common and I wished him well. He then proceeded to claim I was 'using' him till someone better came along and I was shallow and self centered. I couldn't believe how he tried to manipulate me. I didn't engage him other than let him know not to text me again and he did just go away but I had allowed him to my home one time and I realized not to do that again...and I do not. Now I don't invite someone in till we've gone out several times even if it is awkward at times. Fortunately most of my experiences have been positive...even though nothing (or no one) has stuck as of yet. I'm trying to go at this from a light and fun perspective and to keep my expectations for finding someone to have a long term relationship fairly low. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I do understand though about trying to find a good man. Like they say, he's hard to find. But at least I am healthy and attractive enough now to be in the game if nothing else.

Went through all my little 'tricks' and tips for keeping my eating in line with the rules and calorie/sugar/sodium content with the therapist last night. Also mentioned to her how we show our pictures on this site and appologize for being seen as possibly boastful and specifically, how I deflect the compliments I regularly get. This is all normal she tells me. The tricks I use she says keeps me mindful and diligent about how I have to eat in order to remain at this weight. She said it's likely that I may never be able to take food for granted and that if I try to deal with food like a person without food related issues, I might find myself in trouble again. I thought I was obsessing but she said, no obsessive...but mindful. That makes me feel better. I'm OK with mindful as long as the hunger is not overwhelming...which it is not because my band is doing what it's supposed to. So I do what I'm supposed to and hopefully, maintenance will be as successful for me as losing the weight has been. As far as the picture and compliment thing...I find I post or look at my before and after pictures to remind me of what I look like now, and what I looked like then. She said that's healthy as well in that I'm learning to be comfortable with the new person I have become and it's perfectly OK to remind myself of what I look like..and what I used to look like. She said it's like a baby who looks at it's own reflection in wonderment and at times, puzzlement. As far as the deprecating remarks I make when someone compliments me...well that too will take time. It's learning to recondition from always feeling bad or feeling very negative about my body. Anyway...very much a work in progress still. Lot's going on here...both from the outside and the inside.

Good for you! I know that feeling of getting a new lease on life. Enjoy every moment..you deserve it.

Like Sharpie says, it's about volume for me. I used to eat soooo much food and now I don't. There are times I wish I could just go to town but so far, I stop before I get uncomfortable and I am so grateful to be mobile and in small sizes and that helps to keep me focused. I think I'll have to look at this like an alcoholic....one day at a time.

Debbie, you look great. It's not about skinny...it's about normal.

Hey Lisa...I think about food 24/7. That hasn't changed. In fact, I make sure to have my meals planned a couple of days in advance.. I tried to explain to this guy that I enjoyed food as much as anyone else but I think the amount I was eating confused him....

OK friends. I'm going to start this off. How about we share comments regarding how we eat while on a date? I have a funny one from last week. I went to dinner on Thursday with a new fellow I just met and he made a few comments on how little I was eating. He does not know about my band...it's too early in the relationship to bring it up as far as I'm concerned. I told him several times that I had eaten enough and indeed I did like the food. So..we go out again on Saturday and because the weather was lousy, we wound up in a restaurant again instead of at the piano bar we were supposed to go to. As I had already had dinner, I said I'd have a drink while he ate. I decided to order a cup of Soup and a sangria. I had about 1/3 of the soup but had the full glass of wine. He looks at me and says, well, at least there's one thing that I see you manage to finish. It made me laugh. We're going to dinner and the piano bar or Saturday so it will be interesting to see how that goes. Anyone else have a story?

I ticked 'other' because what gets me off track is emotional triggers. I have control issues and have gone back to dating over the last few months. The one thing I cannot control, though I keep trying to, is how someone feels about me...or how the relationship is going. It's why I work with the therapist on this. So I can deal with rejection without turning to food...and without blaming myself if the relationship doesn't go well. I'm really working hard on dealing with the fact that sometimes it has nothing to do with me at all. I'm sure other control freaks out there can understand where I'm coming from. Sometimes I wish it was a simple as boredom or stress. That's easier to fix than this thing I'm dealing with.

Sounds like you are trying to change things up hoping to see better results but the thyroid disease is interfering. When you go for a fill, talk to the doctor about this. I'm sure he/she can help you to work with it. Good luck...it must be very frustrating for sure.

deleted...as I somehow posted in the wrong thread...

I see it as a forum to discuss all things relationship related whether folks are single, married, or 'other'. As with everything else in our lives, our romantic relationships are changing whether we are with someone or not. This is a place I think, to discuss those issues. If single folk can also use the forum to meet up, well, more power to them for that.

As I am still waiting for Alex to create a 'dating' area on this site, I decided to post this in the general WLS forum. As many of you know, I share alot because I truly feel that if I'm going through something, so are others and I wanted to post both the good, bad, and everything in between. So...this is a good thing. I'm seeing a new man and we've had a few dates. He's not very talkative but when he is, he's funny and sardonic and what you see is what you get with this guy. I know I'm attracted to him...and he is to me. But I'm not ready to be intimate with him just yet (if ever). I let him up to my apartment last night after dinner and sure enough, he started in right away. He never made me feel nervous...I just know that he was hoping I'd give in. I didn't. But....I was super aware that I had not yet told him about the WLS and I knew he didn't know about the loose skin, the port that sticks out, and all my issues surrounding body image. Well...turns out that a horny guy doesn't care about 'shrinkles', ports that stick out, or all the other imperfections we ladies (and men) fixate on. Doesn't mean I still won't think about plastic surgery, but at least I learned that if I do it, it will be for me and not for a partner. He didn't care that my breasts were little loose hanging pockets of flesh. He just wanted at them. And at first I tried to keep his hand away from the port area so as not to have to explain it at such a 'critical' time but I soon realized he was running his hand over it as he was touching me all over my mid section...and either didn't feel it, or didn't care. This was a good lesson for me to learn. I'm going to really try not to fixate so much on my flaws. I know I look good in clothes so what I have to work on is knowing I'm not disgusting out of them...and not feel the need to explain or apologize for what my body looks like. Will discuss this with the therapist on Tuesday but glad I can also post here and let you all know what's on my mind.

Do what you are doing now...small increments. They will add up. The most I ever lost over a month's time was eight lbs. And that's added up to a total of around 155 lbs. lost. As far as 'goal', I too have been eating as I always have and figured my goal would be when my body stopped losing. My PCP came up with the 150 lb. goal weight but as you can see by my ticker, I've dropped quite a bit more than that. I'm fairly sure I'm done now. My new goal is to maintain. I'd like to stay at 115 or less.

Hi Mark. So nice to see that you've done well. I remember when you first got banded and struggled with doubt and worry about whether or not you could be successful. Well, it's obvious that you did what you had to. I bet your mom is so very proud of you. I'm proud of you. It's not easy to be disciplined...especially as a young person. Heck, lots of folks aren't as disciplined as you and have lot's more years and experience that you. But you showed everyone, didn't you. Dr. Fielding is probably thrilled. Maybe I'll get to see you one of these days at our support group or even in the office. Good luck with the plastic surgery.