gowalking

I also hide the wrinkled skin but I don't want to be celibate so I'm going out on a limb and meeting men online and going out on dates with some of them. I'm not yet intimate with anyone but I know it will happen at some point. I'm just betting on what I've seen so far, which is that a man who thinks he might be lucky enough to get a little something something, isn't thinking about the excess skin as much as he's thinking about scoring. At least that's been my experience so far.

Thanks for the input everyone. I appreciate all the comments. @@AvaFern, you are indeed correct. As one gets smaller, the port become more obvious. I can hide it under most clothing but it's obvious when I'm naked. It looks like a golf ball under my skin and that's why I know between that and the excess skin, there's no way I can hide it from someone I may be intimate with. As far as his weight, I don't think he's obsessive about it...I think he's scared that I might be judgmental. Having been morbidly obese myself, who am I to judge?. All I wanted to do was reassure him that looks is not a priority for me though I can see after being on the dating sites for a year, men are attracted to an attractive woman. Doesn't mean they are looking for young chippies, but they are looking for someone who catches their eye. I've gotten many messages from men who tell me how pretty I am. I say thank you and then move on. I'm not so comfortable with being told this at the moment though I am working on the mental aspect of this weight loss journey with a therapist. That though is for another thread..

Thank you for sharing your pictures. Everytime I think I'm OK with my body the way it is, I see how much better it can look and I think all over again that I should go for it. I just hate the idea of more surgery. Maybe in time I'll want it more than dreading how it has to be done.

Do your research and pick what you are most comfortable with. Most people who get banded do so because it's not permanent. All I can tell you is that you shouldn't rely on opinions on this or any other forum. You have to decide and the best way to do that is to know as much as possible about whichever weight loss surgery you are considering. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I'd like to see just before surgery and then after. I'm so wrinkled under my clothes and think about surgery all the time. I just don't know if I want to deal with all the post op pain and related concerns. But I'd sure like a flat stomach for the first time in my life. Maybe pics will convince me to move forward.

Same here Julie. I worry all the time that suddenly I'll have issues. Hoping just like you that those with no issues are just not posting. I know that Alex is doing just fine and he is banded ten years.

I have what is often called a 'pot belly'. But with the right undergarments, you can't really see anything anymore. Not after losing more than 150 lbs. I've got alot of loose skin but no fat. I'll need plastic surgery to flatten my stomach but I'm not ready to do it yet...if ever.

I went out a couple of times with a guy I met online who had the band. And there is a coworker of mine who was very heavy and he's probably half his size now. I heard he had WLS. I'm pretty sure that most of the folks in my office are presuming I had surgery as well even though I only told a few of my closer friends here. When you are truly obese and lose so much weight that you are virtually unrecognizable, people will make that assumption. No one has asked me directly except one person and I did not lie..I admitted I had surgery. If she told others, so be it. No one in my family has had WLS though I wish my sister would do it. She's morbidly obese and I worry for her health. I don't care what she looks like, but I want her around as long as possible and I know her co-morbidities can impact her life.

I'm one of those rare birds who has restriction without fills. I'm not the only one, but it's very atypical. It's also a double edged sword in that I can eat anything but I have to be careful because I can eat anything.

Thank you sweetheart!!

It's as much if not more about keeping it off rather than taking it off. I'm only two years post WLS and only maintaining for a few months so even I don't know what the future holds. But my hope is that this tool helps me to keep it off. I lost alot of weight about 20 years ago and said I'd never get fat again. Guess what? I not only gained it all back, I added another 40 lbs. more and destroyed my knees and hips in the process. I now have metal hips and 150 fewer pounds on my frame. I can move and walk around like a normal person. This alone is miraculous to me. I have a ten year old granddaughter who knew me fat and now knows me thin. I hope she forgets what fat grandma looked like. I have a grandson only days away from coming into the world. I hope he never knows anything other than grandma as she looks right this minute. If this band helps me to achieve that, I couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks. (By the way, I've had nothing but positive feedback so don't presume you won't have the same) Good luck!

Isn't it wonderful that we finally can participate in our own lives instead of sitting on the sidelines while precious time passes? Want to know what I did on Sunday? I walked on The Highline. It's an elevated walking trail that meanders along the far west side of Manhattan. It's a wonderful experience, this man-made oasis in the middle of this huge metropolis. It's been up for several years and only now can I make that trek. Was not that long ago, one block had me exhausted and nearly crying in pain. The Highline is about a mile long..and I walked it up and back. How's that for regaining my life?

Welcome to the forum @busyandblessed. It can take time and several fills till you have the correct restriction. I know it's hard, but be patient and stay compliant. I promise you will lose the weight without starving. I eat around 1,200 calories a day and have done so since I was banded just over two years ago. I also limit my carbs and make sure to get in all my Protein. You can see by my ticker that I've lost all my excess weight. I'm sure you will as well. Good luck.

By the way @@shugal, your starting BMI was about the same as mine. I'm betting you meet your weight goal but more important, make sure you track all those NSVs. They are way more satisfying than tracking numbers.

This is a moving and wonderful post. You are a beautiful and amazingly strong woman. It's very hard to change the patterns we live(d) by all our lives but you must understand how much you are loved and admired by your children...and even your mother. I know she has no awareness of how hurtful and cutting her remarks are. If she knew, she wouldn't say them. But what's more important is the legacy you are giving to your girls. Rather than continue the cycle, they are learning from you how to be strong, independent women. You are the epitome of a good mother. You are teaching your girls what they need to be happy and successful people. You deserve all the wonderful things in life. You are worthy of everything and anything you aspire to. I am constantly humbled by the amazing people I've met on this forum and you my friend are one of them.

Great pictures Debbie. Thanks! It looks like you made out like a bandit and I only wish I was able to go. Maybe next year we could try to make arrangements for some of us on this thread to go. I know I'd love to check it out.

I remember well when you were doing very well @@parisshel and I knew you were being compliant with the protocol. I looked to people like you who followed the rules an had no issues. I'm so sorry you are having problems and it's very concerning because you didn't bring this on with abuse of the band. That means any one of us who are doing well at the moment, can find ourselves having problems. Giving you a virtual hug right now.

So...am I supposed to calorie count? or do I just stick to the PFC way of eating? <<getting used to that is hard<< If it helps you to calorie count, do it. My fitnesspal is a great app. I used it for a very long time. I really helped me to stay compliant at around 1,150 calories a day. I don't need it anymore because I can eyeball my portions at this point but it was a great help to me in the early days. If you don't feel you need it, don't use it. You'll know what works best for you. Good luck.

Hi Friends. I went to dinner with my sister last night and made the decision to indulge a bit. We shared a bottle of wine at dinner and I had a mini cannoli washed down with an espresso and a shot of anisette as well. I knew I'd gain weight from this meal but because I knew it, I didn't worry about it..or feel guilty about it. I do this every once in a while. And as long as I'm compliant today...and I will be, the weight I gained from last night, will come off and life will go on. The wrong thing to do is feel guilty about indulging and then throwing the baby out with the bath Water. No need for one evening to knock us off course. Just get back on that horse and keep moving forward. I really enjoyed dinner last night...I didn't eat more than I should have...I just drank more than I normally would. And since this was restaurant food, it was likely heavier on the sodium and calories...especially since it was delish. But I like to eat out and I plan for it and after that, I just do the best I can to make as good decisions as I can. We had Italian and I didn't order Pasta...no point as I can't eat a whole portion of it...nor would I want to. We shared a salad, veal parm and lasagna. And when I say shared, I mean I took a band sized portion...not half the meal. As Alex said...think and act like a thin person. I'm working on it.

Just an update that while it was a small turnout, it was still a lovely afternoon and the conversation was quite enjoyable. We are working on holding the summer meeting on Long Island this time because we know that some folks can't/won't travel into Manhattan. We will keep you posted on the next meeting once we have firmed up the date. Have a great Sunday everyone and enjoy the day!

Talk to your doctor about all the concerns you wrote us about. I won't offer any advice other than to say that changing the head is harder than changing the body. I've lost all my excess weight and am now on year two of therapy to fix the inside of me now that I've fixed the outside. Good for you that you understand some of your behaviors so that you can work on changing them. I think we're all guilty of wanting instant results but know that with the band, it can take a while. You really need to focus on long term success rather than immediate results. If you follow the program, you will get there...it just may take some time. Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide.

It's do-able. I was a 24 pant and a 4X top at my heaviest, and now I wear a size 6P pant, size PS or PM top..and in better dresses, mostly 10P. I've no idea what size dress I would have worn at my heaviest...I stopped wearing dresses at size 20.

I do this too. I'm super aware how much others are eating because I am so aware of how much I eat.

I think people make presumptions all the time. As far as being treated differently after weight loss, my experience has only been positive thank goodness. I'm sure it's mostly because I'm so much more mobile and healthy now. My friends and family are so happy for me on that front. The looking more attractive part is the icing on the cake.

Just wanted to remind those from the NY/LI/Tri-state area that the next NYC/LI chapter is meeting is going to be held this Saturday, April 11th from 2PM till 4 PM We will be meeting at The Atrium at 805 Third Avenue. The building is on Third Ave between 49th and 50th Streets. The Atrium is at the back of the space on the lower level past the shops. We are looking forward to seeing many of our forum friends there for a fun filled afternoon. We hope to share a bit of information, education, and ultimately support with our friends!!! So mark your calendars today forum friends and make plans to spend a beautiful Spring afternoon in NYC. If any Jersey friends want to attend, please feel free to cross the Hudson and join us.