gowalking

Oh I'm so glad you wrote to us. THIS is what BP is all about. Empathy, support, whatever it is you need...hopefully this site can help with. Everyone who wrote something back to you...especially Heather, gave you spot on advice. I can't add anything more than thank you so much for sharing with us and coming here instead of giving in to the demons.

Hi all: Just texted with Lisa. I won't be there unfortunately. It's not even weather related. I'm going through a pain flare and even with being on steroids, my back is not good. I'm so sorry I'll miss you all. Was so looking forward to this afternoon. If you cancel...or even if you don't...please know that I'm already anticipating the next meeting. Liz

Good luck to everyone. I was banded at NYU almost four years ago and I'm doing oh so well.

Hi all: Did well last night at our holiday party. I had too much dessert...but did not overeat otherwise. Talked more with the therapist about why I'm struggling with the food but will also likely look to get another fill after the new year. Got exact directions to the coffee shop from my boyfriend so I'll be on the 12:25 that gets me to Babylon at 1:44. He said it wouldn't take five minutes to get to Jacks. Looking forward to meeting you all. Liz

In a word...yes. All your feelings are very much understood by not just myself, but many who are here on this site. I've been banded nearly four years and for the past two and a half, I've been in therapy. First it was to figure out the 'new' person I saw in the mirror..and then it was all about the reasons for the obesity. I've been peeling back those layers for all this time and in the end...I truly believe it's all about abandonment and rejection. At least for me it is. I believe with all my heart that I gained the weight because I was building a wall around me. Now that I don't have that protection, I have to learn how to deal with the emotions and feelings without turning to food. I'm still working on this even though I've been at goal for years. For some, this is just a physical change and they are fine and good with it. For me...and you it seems...and many others, the obesity is a symptom and it's up to us to find the deeper issues..and fix them. Good luck...feel free to PM me if you like. I'm not on this site as much as I used to be but I'm always here to help if I can. Oh..and one more thing. I too am a widow...have been for more than 20 years...and still feel like he abandoned me. This is one of the many reasons I'm in therapy....and likely why the second marriage failed....and why I am working so hard to not let it interfere with the current relationship I have. He's a miracle in my life and I don't want my issues to overtake once again.

Thanks Lisa. Jack says the diner is a block from the Babylon station? I can google it to know what direction to go towards...or if you can give me a landmark or two, I should be able to find it. Or feel free to wait for me at the station so I can walk with you and not get lost... I'll send you a text before the date just to coordinate. Liz

Thanks for the info Jack. Yup...if it's still on, I'd love to join.

Heading to South Florida for Thanksgiving. There will be nine of us. All adults...no children. Mom wanted to make a 16 lb. turkey along with lasagne and assorted sides. I ticked off the names of all the attendees including her and dad. No one other than my sister and possibly the 25 year old young man who is included in the guest list is a big eater. Some of us eat small because we are watching our weight and some are just not big eaters anymore due to illness and old age. I told mom a 12 lb. turkey would do. Several times in fact. I know that in my family, and likely many others, the greatest sin is not having enough food. As such, there would be tons of it and lots of leftovers...but also lots of overeating. The new mindset is that we have enough. More than enough. Every day I remind myself that food is part of my life, not my life. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But I try each and every day to eat clean and smart. I have no problem anymore suggesting some of the same to other members of my family. Now having said that, I suspect when all is said and done, it will be a 16 lb. turkey as my dad will overrule her. I also suspect that I will be eating turkey till I head back home a week later...

I'll be celebrating four years banded in mid January. Lost a ton of weight and gained back my life. I know that sometimes the band will not work even if the person is totally compliant but the chances are much greater that if you are compliant, the band will work well for you. Good luck and don't second guess your choice if it truly is what you think is best for you. I chose the band because it was reversible and less invasive. It was the right choice for me, and hopefully will be the right choice for you.

Nice to hear from you Debbie. Sorry about the job situation but it sounds like the kids are well and your weight is under control. Me on the other hand...I'm struggling with the weight. It's good stuff...I'm in a great relationship and I admit that I'm having fun with food. I work hard mid week to be very careful about what I eat but when we're together on the weekends, I'm eating out and no matter how careful I am, it's still food that's higher in salt and fat and it shows. I was 127 lbs. just before we met and I am now struggling to stay under 140 lbs. He's not trying to sabotage me...I have to be strong and say no to eating out all weekend long. We're just having so much fun together....it's hard to stop the eating out part as it's alot of what we like to do. Not to worry though...I won't fall off the wagon though I've stumbled a bit. Julie...honey, all I can say is the anticipation is worse than the actual day. Change it up if at all possible and try to make new traditions if you can. All I know is that I worked almost completely off gut feelings those first few years. If it felt OK, I did it, and if it felt not OK, I didn't...even if it meant changing things up last minute. I spent my first Christmas season with the kids of course, but went somewhere else so we were not doing what we had done when Alan was alive. I don't know that you can do the same thing, but it helped me to do something completely different. Just know that I understand as do lots of people dealing with loss. It's just so hard when the loss is so new and raw. You know you are in my thoughts... Liz

You look great. I'm almost four years out from being banded as well. I've gained back about 20 lbs. from where I was most comfortable, but surprisingly, I've heard from others that I look better with a little more meat on my bones. I'm working on losing at least 10 of those 20 lbs. That should make me feel better about where I am.

Make an appointment with your doctor and see if you need an adjustment. Then start to track your food and get in some exercise...even if it's just walking the neighborhood. Just as long as you are doing some moving...

Good luck. I had my WLS at NYU...just down the street from Bellevue.

Good luck. I had my WLS at NYU...just down the street from Bellevue.

Good luck. I had my WLS at NYU...just down the street from Bellevue.

If this will help you to motivate, go for it. For me, I found my motivation in the scale going down and clothing sizes going in that same direction.

Some of us have to reach rock bottom in order to make positive changes. I was morbidly obese and close to being wheelchair bound. I had no life. I couldn't walk a block without having to sit and I live in NYC...a place where everyone walks. I couldn't travel, couldn't play with my granddaughter, couldn't do much of anything...except eat. And eat I did...even though every forkful of food meant I was jeopardizing my mobility even more. I had the band put in nearly four years ago. I've been in therapy for more than two years as I needed to work on the core issues of why I was fat...and how to not get fat again. I had both hips replaced less than a year after my band. I still have issues because of the damage I've done to myself and need to take anti-inflammatory and pain meds. On the good side, is that after this up and down voyage, I am living life again as a normal sized person. I can walk just about anywhere..albeit in pain at times. I run after my new grandson who just turned a year and a half. I have a wonderful man in my life again and I never expected that would happen. Never. I say a prayer of thanks everytime I lie in his arms or take his hand when we go walking. I went to London on vacation last year...something I've wanted to do for so long...and thought I'd never be able to do. Next spring, I go on a two week trip to The Netherlands, Russia, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Norway, and Estonia. To me, this is truly miraculous considering where I was before surgery. Understand that for many of us, the weight is a symptom of something much deeper than just food. I would suggest you continue with therapy....and for however long it takes for you to understand your motives and to try to change your behavior. It's not easy and I find this part of my weight loss journey harder than the losing weight part. Thank you for sharing your story with us and know that you will find a sympathetic sounding board here and the support you need at least in this virtual world we inhabit.

Here's the thing...you can tell people anything but if you lose alot of weight in a short period of time, they will know you've had some type of bariatric surgery. Simple as that.

They probably don't mean to but they are sabotaging you. I agree...self plate and try to not let the things that hurt you come through. I know it's easier said that done...family knows how to push your buttons but please don't self harm. And just so you know...next year everything will be different once they see how improved you and your life have become.

Honestly Julie...I loved the cheesecake with candied bacon bits on top. The patrons...well as this is NYC, there were lots of pretty, thin people there. Not like what you would have expected. NYC is a different breed...you just don't see lots of obese people here. It's like when Parisshel used to be online here and said that Paris was filled with pretty people. Same with New York. I did not see much in the way of what you would expect at a restaurant that was all about excess.

OK..since this has morphed into a bacon thread, check out the restaurant that I went to a few weeks ago. Man...was like I had died and gone to bacon heaven. Oh...and I'm no newbie testing out my band. I'm a vet who knows what she can and cannot eat...and how much. This type of eating is a rare treat...not an everyday thing. Enjoy! http://www.barbacon.com/

If the decision is to meet up on the 17, I'd like to join. Lisa...I'd need to ask if you can pick me up at the nearest LIRR station though. Let me know if that's do-able. Corey already said it would work fine because I would take the train to Woodside instead of coming back into the city, and then we can take the 7 train back to Flushing to meet up with my girlfriend. Liz

What she said...except my therapist does have a bariatric background and has had WLS herself. I don't think it's something you must have when picking a therapist...as long as you have someone who is skilled with helping those like us who have difficulties with coping. I know that is me to a tee.

You know you're fabulous, right? Oh how I love these before and after pics. It's not just the weight loss, but the smile on your face, the haircut, the makeup...all of it. How wonderful to see in all of us, the blossoming that comes from being comfortable in our own skin. Congrats.

I take New Jersey Transit daily and know exactly how horrible this accident was...and could have been because I know the Hoboken Station so well. When I read this, all I could think of was that he really was asleep at the switch. And yes...as the article notes, it's not the first time this has happened on the commuter trains here in the NYC area. That other accident was on the MetroNorth line that services Grand Central Terminal. What I can't help but wonder...is why his wife (and yes, he's married..it was in the papers) didn't recognize the sleep apnea. Your wife did. I know my mom did as my dad did that same snort and snore and dead silence thing. I know my mom was constantly prodding him so he would breathe again...and this was before anyone really knew what sleep apnea was. I'm a bit skeptical....his lawyer says he has undiagnosed sleep apnea...not a doctor. Oh, and yes...accidents with drivers falling asleep at the wheel is well documented. I'm sure many of them also suffer from sleep apnea. Here's the other thing though...I'd bet the house that right now, lots of people reading this story in the New York papers are thinking this is yet another reason to hate fat people.