gowalking

...hence the reason I'm in therapy. No one can lose that much weight, become unrecognizable, and not need professional help. Thank goodness I'm seeing someone. She is helping me to navigate these scary but wonderful experiences I'm going through. I look at the pictures of me at that heavier weight and I don't know who that person is anymore. I'm still learning to know who the girl on the bike is, but she's still a mystery to me alot of the time.

The story is that I wasn't much of an eater as a toddler so my mother asked the doctor what to feed me to put some weight on me and he said spaghetti, potatoes, etc. So..she did and I turned into a full blown carbaholic. I'll take a bowl of pasta over a piece of cake anytime. I don't blame mom, I'm sure I'd have found carbs eventually but it started my road to obesity for sure.

I had a major meltdown about this just about a week ago. I cried myself to sleep, thinking to myself I will never be able to eat like a real person again. It took a few days to pull out of that funk and I'm doing better now, I am 7 weeks out today, yesterday was my birthday and I didn't really do anything. I am rambling now, but yes this is something I wish I had known prior to surgery!!!Lot's of us have this reaction myself included. I feel it's because we have an abnormal relationship with food. We use it as comfort, and to avoid stress or anxiety along with a host of other reasons none of them having to do with food as fuel. That's the cycle that needs to be broken. I'm using the help of a therapist to hopefully permanently stop using food as an emotional crutch.

For the ladies wondering about sweating and temperatures, just know that I went from a sweat monster to being cold all the time now. I hardly ever use the overhead fan anymore, I used to use the winter comforter only on the coldest evenings and now I use it from October right thru May. I don't use the air conditioner anywhere's near the amount I used to. Hell...I'm so cold these days that I wear a wetsuit in the pool at the Y. No, I'm not kidding...I really need it to not shiver while I'm working out. There are so many things we do to accomodate our larger sizes and it happens so gradually that we don't even realize it. But it's so glorious when we realize we don't have to do all these things anymore. It's freeing. It's hard to explain but I can feel how much lighter I am. It's not hard to move my body now. It's not a big deal to bend or crouch or walk or any physical activity. It really is exciting to know what lies ahead for you newbies. That's why I tell so many folks to stay away from the scale and to focus on these types of successes. Way better than just counting numbers.

If you are having trouble motivating when it comes to exercise, try taking classes. They helped me tremendously because I enjoyed the social aspect of getting to meet the others in the class and it helped to make me feel an obligation to get to those classes. Especially when I started to make friends and they would ask if I was OK if I didn't get to a class. Guilt is a powerful motivator..lol. I take Water exercise classes by the way. Great way to move around with minimal discomfort as the water keeps you buoyant.

Fat related routines I no longer have to adhere to: Air drying clothes. Using Nair on my legs because I couldn't reach everywhere with the razor. Using alot of toilet paper to make sure I got it all. Going to the first car on the train so I could be sure to not have to squeeze into a seat. next to someone else who might give me the stinkeye since I was overflowing into their space Asking for a table in the restaurant because I didn't fit in a booth. Sitting in the front seat of the car because I took up too much room in the back if there were three of us trying to sit there. Going through powder like there was no tomorrow. Carrying tissues in my pocketbook to dab the sweat off my forehead and neck because any type of movement made me sweat like a pig. Acting like it didn't bother me when I couldn't join in on an activity because I was too fat. Making fun of myself before anyone else might in order to deflect the terrible hurt by people making remarks even if they didn't realize how much they hurt my feelings. Acting asexual because fat women shouldn't have those needs. Always being ashamed of how out of control I had become. There's more, but I think you all get my drift here. I will never go back to those days again. Never.

Even though I'm banded Tessa, I'm responding because I can understand your concerns. Let me assure you that after introducing food after what I presume has so far been a liquid diet will absolutely cause a weight gain. Please remember that this is a lifetime change and gains and stalls are just part of it. You didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it that way either. You should pay attention to sodium and sugar as too much can cause weight gain. But some salt and sugar won't derail you. The only thing that will derail you is worrying about every loss and gain. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the scale. Just pay attention to what you are eating. Choose wisely...protein first and watch the carbs, sugar, and sodium. Exercise. Move around. It will make you feel like you accomplished something and will improve your mood. Pay attention to how your clothes fit and those non scale victories. Before you know it, you will notice that you are looking and feeling better. Take it from me...you'll get there. I was banded 2 1/2 years ago and my journey was also not linear. Yet, I still managed to lose an amazing amount of weight and have a normal life as well. Good luck and keep us posted on your status.

Was out on a date last night with a guy I've been seeing for a couple of months. Not serious yet but inching forward per my personal preference. He told me that what attracts him to me other than the obvious (he likes small and cute and thinks I am..lol), he likes that I am positive and not looking to fill a void in my life with a man/relationship. As CowGirlJane says, desperation is a turnoff. Doesn't mean you have to be perfect. No one is...and I have alot of baggage due to my mobility issues/chronic pain, and former obesity. But the fact that I'm excited by life, and have a well rounded group of friends and family to fulfill me is very attractive to a man. I don't need a man, I'd like to have a man as part of my life. They seem to gravitate towards women like that. I know I look for the same thing. Not interested in anyone who is looking to me to fulfill them. It's too tiring...I did that once already and won't make the same mistake again.

Thanks @Maddiee. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to coming to your fabulous city. It's been a dream of mine since I was a teenager. If you ever think of coming across the pond, come visit my city. Manhattan is a blast as well. Wouldn't want to live anywhere else. When I go up to my roofdeck, I can't see the stars...to much ambient lighting from The Empire State Building, The Freedom Tower, The Chrysler Building, The Citicorp Building...etc. I have a great view of them all and never get tired of it.

Here you go. Me on a bike. I rode around for more than an hour. London, here I come!

I've been on dating sites for just over a year. I've only told a handful of the men I've dating about the surgery. Usually if we're on the third date or more, I'll tell. I figure if I'm going out at least three or four times, there's something there. I show them an old photo and tell them I have the lapband. I've never been rejected based on my former weight issue that I can tell. The basic reaction has been positive and I'm usually pretty good at telling once we've established a connection.

It's not great when you are not recognized. I went through that at work. I was on medical leave and was out for 7 weeks. When I got back to the office, alot of people truly did not recognize me. It was very disconcerting.

The input you'll get on line will be based on what surgeries other posters have gotten, and how they are doing. Basically, the reason bandsters go with the band is that it is a less invasive procedure. The reason sleevers go with the sleeve is that they do not want to deal with the aftercare of a band. That's what you will have to think about in order to make your decision. Good luck!

My knees are a mess Mary. Riddled with arthritis and no cushioning left at all. Just bone on bone. I haven't had to replace them because I've lost all the excess weight but they still give me problems. Swim...swim, swim swim. Very good exercise and very easy on the joints.

This is not about love of food. This is about an abnormal relationship with food. You are obviously not a food addict so it's understandable that you don't get it. Oh...and about picking up cigarettes from the ground, ash trays, etc. I've done some pretty disgusting things in order to get in my food fix. I won't go into details but I've seen other posts from folks who are also ashamed of some of their behaviors regarding food and let me tell you friend, it's not pretty.

I'm a carboholic too. I'm banded 2 1/2 years and just know that there are plenty of carbs that go down real easy so understand you will still have to be vigilant and make the choice to eat less of some of the items you love. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? You bet.

Talk to the doctor about a support group or see if your coverage includes mental health. No..you're not crazy but most of us have an unhealthy relationship with food and a therapist who specializes in bariatric issues can be a life saver. I know because I see one. She helps me to work out issues without turning to food and she helps me to look at the root causes of my obesity so I can avoid it again. It's not the first time I've lost alot of weight just to put it back on and while the band works better than anything else I've ever tried, I know already that I can eat around it if I choose. High calorie/sugar/fat foods go down real easy. I think we all know that and how hard this journey can be even when so many think we've taken 'the easy way out'.

Hoping for a speedy recovery and getting back on the surgery fast track. Any delay once one decides surgery is the way to go seems like a huge setback but you have to keep looking at the big picture and know that things will work out. I was supposed to go for band surgery in October of 2012 and had to wait till January of 2013 because Superstorm Sandy hit NYC and the hospital sits on the East River. Terrible flooding and the hospital was closed for three months while they got it back up and running. Very stressful at the time of course but now 2 1/2 years later and at goal, it's just a distant memory. Good luck!

Wonderful! So happy for you that this has been such a positive experience for you. Same for me. I've been in the green since day one and am so grateful for that. My whole life has changed for the better and I love sharing my success with others.

Sometimes the numbers are not the best way to judge success. If you are increasing muscle while losing fat, it could look like the scale isn't moving in the right direction as quickly as expected or hoped. Try to look at other factors. Are your clothes looser? Are you going down in sizes? Do you feel better? Are your co-morbidities going away? Look for improvements in non scale ways and you may find that you are being more successful than you realize.

I'm glad the girls are not feeling rejected. No one can hurt you as badly as those who are supposed to love us.

I'd like to be able to change my stats to read starting pant size to current pant size instead of starting/current weight. My job is all about metrics so I understand the need to collect and analyze numbers but we really need to not obsess. There isn't a perfect weight nor is there a perfect size. This is about health and the quality of life...including how we look and how others see us. I keep telling myself I won't look at these threads but I do because I want to try to do what others are doing by saying to stop focusing on the scale. You are only three weeks out scarlet. How long have you been overweight? Years, right? It won't come off overnight. And even small losses are still losses. I never lost more than three pounds in a single week and yet I still managed to lose over 150 lbs. Relax...and enjoy the NSVs and whatever positive experiences you have while you are going through this change. Good luck.

You know what Julie...it depends. If it's someone I am getting to know and feel it's important for some reason, I'll tell. If it's someone who is peripheral in my life, likely not. I usually find that if I say anything about being formerly obese, it's because that person has possibly spoken about having joint issues or maybe even mentioned WLS. That's when I'll tell in order to let someone know that you can take charge of your health issues depending on what they are..and make changes that assist in having a more normal life.

I had a NSV today. Wore a long dress with no pantyhose. No chubrub. Wahoo!! Next NSV...went for a cleaning at the dentist and the hygienist was surprised I had all my teeth considering my size. Not sure what one has to do with the other but she just assumed I was small, and always that way. I like that..but it does make me feel like a fake. Gotta mention that to my therapist.

Sorry but your post is funny...I presumed you were posting about heart trouble...lol.