gowalking

Not a single one. I've been banded 2 1/2 years so ask me again next year, or the year after but at this moment...well...you look at the pictures and tell me if I look like I have regrets.

you bet your sweet bippy it's work. I tried casual dating as well and it's not for me. I am trying to make sure I am liking the man I'm now exclusive with instead of being 'in love' with 'being in love' if you get my drift. So far, we have alot in common and I enjoy his company. There's also stuff we do not have in common and I plan on trying new things, but not doing things I don't enjoy. I'm too old and jaded for that. So far, it's working but had I not met this guy, I might be right behind you when it comes to the online dating. It's not fun...the idea is to get through as many crappy or boring dates as possible in the hopes of finding a gem among the rocks and debris. Sounds like your plan will work for you so I think you should do what feels right and the hell with everything else.

Now that looks like fun! Way to go girl!!

As time goes on, I get more and more used to the new smaller me. I think I'm starting to match what I see with how I feel but then something brings me right back to the old me again. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts just now to get a Coolatta Lite. I saw it advertised the other day when I was getting an iced coffee so I figured I'd try one. I didn't see the ad in the store for it so I asked the woman behind the counter for the lite version...but I called it 'low-cal' version and suddenly, I felt like the fat girl again...all embarrased about asking for something that was lower in calories and knowing the person was thinking, 'why bother? You need alot more help than ordering a low-cal coffee drink' Now, I know this was in my head, and not in the counterperson's head. But all the old feelings came rushing back...embarrasement and guilt...and I can't help but wonder if that will ever stop. Will I always feel like a fat girl even when I know I'm not? Will those old feelings stop or am I doomed to have these feelings for ever? I even felt embarrased when I was walking with the drink in my hand. Again...felt like all eyes were on me...look at that fat chick drinking like a thousand calories. I'm sitting here back in my house and feeling horrible...and I didn't even do anything. What's wrong with me??

Looking good!

As always I so appreciate everyone's input. I like that reference to PTSD...I think that fits. It was like a flashback...

Remember that terrible commercial where the girl says 'Don't hate me for being beautiful?' Well...don't hate me for complaining about trying to find smaller sized clothing. I know....it's not supposed to be a problem buying regular sizes..but I am only five feet tall so I need to buy petites or find certain styles that translate to 'regular' proportions. Turns out that it's easy to find clothes in sizes 10/12/14 in both regular and petite. But not so easy finding sizes 4 or 6. Instead of flipping through racks of clothes looking for the larger sizes, I'm now doing the opposite. I know that this is a better problem to have, but it's still a problem.

It will be a blast. Make sure you have someone who's opinion you value to go with you so you can get some honest feedback.

Plenty of us are in therapy, myself included. The extra weight is often just a symptom of deeper issues. It's just that we can't hide it like other types of issues. It takes longer for people to realize someone has an alcohol or drug problem. For us, it's out there for all to see.

All these threads about the scale, and what we are eating and I'm seeing the words 'good' and 'bad' throughout them. I'm as guilty as anyone else about this but I want to put it out there that eating is not bad. Weighing is not bad. WE are not bad. We might make poor decisions about our food, or we might see weight gain on the scale, but it's not good or bad. It just is. Why is what we weigh and what we eat seen as good or bad. Why do we see ourselves as worthy or unworthy based on our physical appearance. Why am I worthy of the attentions of a man now that I'm thin and didn't feel worthy when I was heavy? Why did I punish myself by wearing horrible clothing and not caring how I looked? I know for me it was like putting lipstick on a pig...but why did I think of myself as a pig? Or a slob? Or a loser? Or lazy? Everytime I think I may not need more therapy, I know I need lots more therapy. I hate how much I despised myself before and I'm scared of how much people admire what I've done in the last two and a half years. I am constantly looking to others to determine my own worth because I still cannot do it on my own. I am moving forward in very unfamiliar territory. I have no fat to hide behind. I can't blame failure on my size anymore. I can't blame rejection on my size, I have to own my life and not look to anything negative to avoid what I do. We have to stop with the good/bad thing. If I eat pizza, it's not good or bad. it just is and doesn't make me good or bad. I want to enjoy food without fearing it. I want to enjoy my life without fearing it. I want to be physically and mentally healthy. I'm working on it, but it's still ahead of me.

..of weight loss surgery. I used to have trouble walking a single block because of the joint pain, extra weight I carried, and the shortness of breath. Today I walked from Manhattan to Brooklyn and back. No pain, no sweating like a pig, no heavy breathing.

I'm here JWM, How can I help?

Agree completely. I had WLS in January of 2013. Didn't even think about or want to date. WLS was for health reasons and quality of life. Only much later did I think about it. I went online to a couple of daing sites in April of 2014 and met my current beau a year later. Oh...and I was also in therapy that whole time. Without it, I'd likely not be with him as I had a tendency to go after the unatainable guys. I've been working on both the inside and outside for quite a while now. This did not come easy, or naturally. It was, and still is, alot of hard work.

No one I dated ever noticed how little I ate. I think they just assumed because I'm small, that I have a small appetite. As far as disclosing my WLS, only if/when I felt it mattered. Meaning usually by a third or fourth date, there would be some mention of being heavier at one time. It never was part of a first date discussion. Never. I'm in an exclusive relationship currently and my excess skin and port that sticks out means nothing to him. He loves being with me and that's all that matters to him. I'm even starting to feel less self-conscious even when walking around the apartment in my birthday suit. Not completely there yet, but working on it.

Oh yes. I'm wearing stylish clothing instead of drab and ill fitting clothing. I wear dresses to work all the time now. I look good in dresses again...and not like someone's fat little grandmother. I wear heels again! No more ugly flats...I can wear adorable shoes now and have bought tons of them. I wear makeup again...I got a new haircut...and I have so much fashion jewelry that I needed to get another jewelry box for all of it. I never leave the house now without makeup and at least earrings. Huuuge change from when I was obese.

Better yet...can you substitute veggies for chips? carrot slices, cuke or zucchini rounds? Try to think outside of the box for the healthiest options. Just check with your doctor first...you're only a month post-op.

This is very much a physical and emotional journey. I for one, have been in therapy a year after being banded and down around 100 lbs. I did not recognize myself in the mirror nor did I know how to process all the changes i was going through. I understand all the questions you noted in your post. It's very hard to imagine such a different life than the one you are currently living. My life is as different now as could possibly be and I would not have been able to cope without professional help. I'm not saying we all should be in therapy but I am honest in telling others that I would not be as successful or as happy as I am without it. I'm sure you will determine at some point what you need and will do what is needed for you to have that happy life you want. Good luck and here's to your success.

Don't lose any sleep over it. They are just making sure you don't have bulimia or some other issue like that. I don't even think they deny someone who has unrealistic expectations regarding the surgery. Lord knows, I've seen plenty of people on this site who think the weight is going to magically fall off.

I used to be a hairy beast. Lord...plucking, shaving, bleaching..ugh. I think between the drop in estrogen, the weight loss, and who knows what else...things are much better. I still go to get waxed every other week, but I don't do anything in between and it's not terribly noticible...certainly not like it was when I was younger.

If I hear one more time that people can't be addicted to food, I'll scream. If the above story does not make folks understand that this is as powerful an addiction as any other drug, I don't know what will convince them. While my story is not as harrowing as yours, I too put myself in very difficult circumstances due to the excess weight I carried. I watched a program last night about a morbidly obese woman in Miami on the TLC channel and she was so frustrating because she did not seem to take her situation seriously and was looking at WLS as an easy fix. She was told over and over that she was risking her health and unfortunately she did die shortly after having WLS. It was a frustrating and heartbreaking hour I spent watching this train wreck. Usually they have an epiphany and start to make positive changes..but not this woman. And then she paid the ultimate price by dying. I suspect many of us have had those moments...where we knew this was a life or death situation.

Oh I think guys in sundresses is hot.

I smiled at your park pictures as well Debbie. I'm also sorry about the situation with mom. All we can do is the best we can for them... JWM...loved what you wrote. I too am beyond grateful for changing the trajectory of my life. Everything good that has happened to me since being banded is all due to the weight loss. That's where it all started. Depending on the weather this weekend, Julian and I are either going boating in Flushing Meadows Park or maybe we'll check out the Queens Museum..also in Flushing Meadows. They have a panorama of NYC that is phenomenal...but you have to be able to stand in order to view it all and look at it up close. I can do that now. ...and I can get in and out of a rowboat again. I no longer live in fear of not being able to negotiate something due to limited mobility and pain. Feels like I used to be in prison but have since been set free. Really.

Good morning friends. As many of you know, I gained a few pounds recently and redid my tracker to reflect it. I said I'd lose those few pounds once I was home from London and back to a 'regular' schedule. Well...still not on that regular schedule. I made the decision while away, that I would go into an exclusive relationship with one of the two men I had been dating. Since I've made this decision, we are together more often and naturally, we are eating out. I haven't really cooked since I got banded...I have high end markets where I pick up my Protein...fish and chicken mostly along with vegetables and yes...I will bake small potatoes or cook up some Pasta or rice to complete my meals. The meats are grilled or poached...not fried. I managed to lose 150 lbs. this way and I've no intention of changing it up. The issue though is all these dinners out. He knows all about the band and my weight loss journey and it's a non issue for him. In fact, he's proud of me for taking my challenges in hand and turning my life around. He's a thinner man, but at 60, definitely has a bit of a pot belly. So we always share meals and what we do eat at the restaurant is usually chosen with alot of care in terms of healthier alternatives. Thank goodness we live in a big city and are not forced to eat at chain restaurants. I also showed him the Myfitnesspal app and he's embracing it with gusto. So, having said all that, I still see that getting under 115 lbs. again is becoming quite a challenge for me. I've been back from London for about a month now and am still hovering in that 117-119 range. I'm also not using the gym as much as I was. Again..I'm spending time with the man rather than working out. Fortunately, he has his gym in his apartment building and mine is around the corner. I still go...but not three times a week anymore. If I get there twice a week, I'm doing good. I know that if I can stay vigilant at this time, while the romance is going hot and heavy, I can work on getting back to my pre-Julian habits as we hopefully get into a routine which includes more meals at home and more workout time. Just shows that life can trip you up even when it's for something good, and not just when things are bad and we're stressed. We don't always fall off the wagon because life is hard... Anything can get us off track so it's really important to stay focused no matter what. Have a great day everyone.

Actually, that was one of the things I liked about him..that he's active. We've walked alot..and he was the one I biked in Central Park with. We're going to Flushing Meadow Park this weekend and taking out one of the boats onto the lake. That's an upper body workout for sure and I plan to do some of the rowing myself. I expect we'll do quite a bit of different activities...which I agree, will help.

Hi Ronnie. Welcome. I was just like you 2 1/2 years ago. Scared to death of the surgery and how my life would change without having food to look forward to. Thing is....I only looked forward to the food because I couldn't do anything else. My hips were so bad that each step was torture. I was so heavy that I couldn't fit anywhere and spent so much of my time on the sidelines. Fast forward to today and I've lost 150 lbs. My hips were replaced and I can walk with virtually no pain. I can go up and down stairs again and with living in NYC, walking is vital. I went to London a few weeks ago and walked all over the city and even biked in the parks. I've got my life back again...better than it's been in years. I'm even in a relationship again..and I never expected that for sure. Like I said Ronnie...I've been where you are so take what I say and know that you will get your quality of life back and see your surgery as a second chance. Good luck and keep us posted.