gowalking

I get that you want to plan, but in buying certain sizes so far from hitting the correct weight, I really think you're setting yourself up for possible disappointment. This really is like wanting to hit a certain weight goal by a certain time period and feeling bad if you don't reach it. Can you buy items online if they are not available in the stores? I just think that might be a better way to go.

@@Inner Surfer Girl hey bud sheltered life here what is the above?? thanx kathy A vision board is a tool for helping you to envision what could be/what you want your future to look like. At its simplest, you can cut out pictures, words, phrases, and other images from magazines/print materials, and paste them onto a piece of poster board or paper. It is a creative way to gather thoughts and inspiration. For instance, related to weight loss surgery, you could cut out photos of activities you would like to do, clothes you would like to wear, places you would like to go, inspiring quotes or ideas, etc. Whatever motivates you is a good tool. Hope you make a truly inspiring vision board for yourself.

Dr. Ren is my surgeon. I can't imagine any issues as all. Make that appointment and come to our F2F support group on October 17th if you can. PM me for location and other details if you're interested. By the way, I am banded almost three years with no fills. I still see Dr. Ren regularly and post here regularly as well. Keeps me honest and on track. All of us...or almost all of us could be in your shoes. No shame in that.

No ma'am. No cost to attend. Hope to see you on the 17th!

Now that I'm with a man who streams, we are watching Orange, Narcos, and House of Cards all at the same time. I'm going to cancel my Netflix if we're still together in six month. I haven't watched a DVD since the spring. I'll have to take note of the series you all are watching and put them on a list.

Carol....before you move forward with WLS, work with a therapist to figure out your other issues. This is not American upbringing sweetheart, it's a warped sense of self value. Believe me...I know. You are not enjoying sex..or more to the point, you are not connecting with someone at a multitude of levels. I was so full of self hatred that I hated anyone who even looked at me twice. So I made sure that no one would look at me and got so heavy that I could barely walk. I've been at this almost three years and in therapy for nearly two. It's only now that I can actually have a healthy relationship. Oh and I'm still in therapy because I know without it, I'd have made some pretty bad decisions. Good luck hon and keep us posted.

Good post @@fairee but I need to just remind folks that like it or not, some of us are different inside when the outside changes. Some changes are for the better, but not all. For me...I know unequivocally that I am different at this weight than I was 145 lbs. heavier. Just now as a matter of fact, a colleague from the UK who I do not know, saw my coffee on my desk and asked where he could find the coffee machine. Was a time I'd direct him and not get up from my desk. Today I smiled and told him to follow me. He introduced himself and sure enough, I will be working with him down the road on an initiative I'm co-leading with another colleague. So now I know who he is...and he knows who I am. He told me he was interested in talking to my group to get our input and now he can put a face to a name. These are good things in the business world. And we both found out we used to work for the same company years ago. Another connection. I'm full of confidence these days...even if I'm faking it some of the time. And while I still have body issues, I understand that I am an attractive woman now...and if you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong. We'd like to think it doesn't...but it does. I see it all the time with my interactions with colleagues, some friends and family...strangers...and our romantic partners. If you are not a confident person, it will be hard to find a good romantic partner. Not cocky...but confident. Even if you are heavy, confidence goes a long way. I went out with a man I was very attracted to because he was a confident man. His size was of no issue. I've also been married to a slim man...who unfortunately was not confident at all, and the marriage did not last. I said it earlier, and I'll say it again...for the OP, therapy will only help you in this area...and in many others as well. Find out who you are first...and then you can find the person who enhances your life best.

Most of the items I have in my kitchen have been mentioned except for hummus....great snack and much better with fresh veggies than any kind of dip. Also...I keep 100 calorie items in my kitchen as well. I'm in maintenance now, so bear that in mind but a cup of coffee and a 100 calorie biscotti or brownie goes a long way to satisfy my sweet tooth and the intake is totally limited. So many items are available in the 100 calorie portions and it makes it so much easier to not overdo. Oh..and I keep Water flavorings around as well. Just can't deal with plain water all the time and the drops help to change things up a bit. Good luck!

..or that sugar free does not mean low calories...

Yeah...I saw your posts on FB. Looked like you had a fab time. Well...turns out The Who concert cancelled. Daltrey has meningitis so the tour is being rescheduled for the spring of next year. Good news is that the man and I are going to The Pennsylvania Dutch Country for a Fall Foliage weekend instead.

FYI, my boyfriend is in HR so I know that the comment by your boss was out of line. Tell him/her not to discuss anything of a personal nature with you including anything weight related. That will take care of at least one person who is giving you a hard time.

Amen to this!! I am positive that my being happy with myself and my life is the reason why I didn't get with someone needy and clingy. I know I was needy when I married the second husband. Not surprising, he was even more needy than me and eventually I had to get away from him. I didn't dare go online to look for a possible significant other till I was in therapy for more than a year to work on me and my issues first.

oh wow... OK then...stay off POF. And I agree that sites you pay for usually have a better quality of potential partners. In this case, if someone is ready to spend money, they are usually more serious.

Same kind of people tell pregnant women horror stories about labor and delivery. Just ignore them.

Went for pre-op testing yesterday and per the nurse, I should be feeling much better in a few days post op. I can swim in three weeks, gentle exercise/walking/sex in two-three weeks. The boyfriend is trying to get in as much nookie as he can now...lol.

Post a current picture. This way, no surprises if/when you meet up with someone. Believe me...it's the better way to go. As far as dating sites...for whatever reason, I did very well on Zoosk. Better than Plenty of Fish and even JDate. Had two nice relationships with men I met on that site and the current beau, who may just be exactly who I've been looking for, was also on Zoosk.

Like, love..this

Deepest condolences Julie.

So..I'm happy with the boyfriend...very happy as a matter of fact. But...the flipside is that I have gained ten pounds since we've started seeing each other. No question as to why the gain. I'm eating out more...not being as mindful as I have been, slacked off on the exercise... Shall I go on? This really must stop. It's not his doing, it's mine. I know he's going to want Chinese food tomorrow night but either I'll have to get something steamed without sauce or better still, just tell him no, we need to go or bring in something better for me. I also have to slow down the drinking. I like a glass or two of wine with dinner but since I'm eating out more, I'm also drinking more. Have to reset and get myself back under control. This is insidious..this creeping up of the weight. It's little by little, but it adds up. I just may have to speak with my surgeon about getting a small fill. Haven't needed one but maybe it's time. Will keep you all posted. As you know, I post both the good and bad so no one has an unrealistic idea of surgery, weight loss/gain, and the tediousness of mindful eating during maintenance...which I expect will last the rest of my life. 'Always vigilant' will have to be my motto. You folks keep me honest and this is part of that honesty.

After my divorce, I didn't date for 20 years. You think it's hard dating after 30? Try dating after 50... I would also suggest you work with a professional. This dating thing is fraught with danger for us folks who scare easily. You need a tough skin and a therapist will help you to realize it's not about you most of the time, and you can't control what someone else does, or how they feel about you. Know what you want. Don't overlook someone the first time around. I was lucky enough to have met a great guy online and was going to shoot him down initially as I was more interested in someone else. My therapist helped me to see that I was going after the one who would not be there for me and when I made him go away, I was able to focus on the better choice. We've been together since early May and finding that we enjoy spending time with each other the more we get to know each other. As far as specifics about how to meet, or how to act on a first date...all I can do is suggest you go online and look for sites that meet your needs. And as far as a first date, I can only give you my opinion. Nothing more than a chaste kiss on the cheek or a short hug if you had a nice time. More than that is in my opinion, taking too much liberty. Good luck!!

Am so ashamed to admit I've never been to the windy city. Must must get there one day.

Really?? Where do you shop? I used to shop at Avenue and everything was soooo long on me. I would have given anything to have had your height.

Hi @Nyelaah. Just so happens that a Goodwill opened up on 14th St. today I believe. If you know the Union Square area, it's just West of there. There is also a Goodwill store on 8th St. but this new one is alot bigger. I gave most of my larger sized clothes to them and know that they have a pretty good selection. I see NYU students in there all the time going through the selections. You may want to check it out.

Want to know what's even cooler Deb? I'm seeing The Who and a week later, heading to Lincoln Center to hear The NY Philharmonic with the boyfriend. Can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone who is interested in both rock and roll and classical music same as I am. Was thinking that I may have been the only one like this.

OK...so took a step in the right direction. As you may or may not know, NYC apartment kitchens are not like on TV or in the movies. They are tiny tiny rooms with minimal storage. I ordered a blender so I could use it for smoothies. I know that these drinks can also be calorie laden but I will make sure they are healthy and not full of empty calories. In order to have room for the blender, I had to go through my one storage cabinet and start to get rid of things. Tossed some of the pots I know I don't need...and got rid of a large colander as well. These items were used by me for mostly Pasta related cooking. These days, a small strainer and small saucepan is enough as I never cook more than a cup of pasta at one time. Then that cup is portioned out and frozen into 1/4 cup amounts. So, as I started to rid myself of some of these items, I took stock of what has changed in the nearly three years since I've used the big pot and colander. I haven't binged on pasta in all that time. Didn't eat till I was stupified as I had done. I recalled how I'd limp home..in terrible pain, just to eat to excess knowing that I was only making my condition worse. So the pots are now gone, and so is the joint pain. So is 145 lbs. So is all my fat clothes. What has changed? I move normally. I fit everywhere. I'm not ashamed of my size. I can sit on the floor with my grandson and play with him. I'll be able to climb the monkey bars with him as well when he's old enough to go to the playground. I can put him on my lap as I now have one. I wear pretty clothes. I wear makeup, do my nails, hair, etc. Men notice me. One man in particular notices me and I'm very happy with him so far. I sleep in someone's arms again. Oh how I missed that. Basically, when you add up the pluses and minuses, life without eating to excess is certainly a better thing than a big bowl of spaghetti and sauce. I'll get this thing under control...I know I will. I can't ever let myself get the way I was. And with folks like me, ten pounds might as well be 110 pounds. Thank you friends for your comments. I appreciate your support..I need your support.