gowalking

Alot of us have body dysmorphia and I think you are aware that I've been seeing a therapist for quite some time for that very reason. I don't think we see how large we've become and I also don't think we see how thin we get either. One of the reasons we take so many pictures IMO. My sister thinks I've gotten photo happy but she doesn't realize I take pictures so I can see what others see. I've tried to explain it to her but it falls on deaf ears. And we often are told we are too thin. I also think it's that folks are not used to seeing us at a healthy weight. If I was you, I'd speak with your doctor about this and if he/she doesn't have any concerns, you shouldn't either.

Hi all. Just thought I'd check in. Feeling much better today. The incision site is just a bit sore today..not feeling like I was punched in the gut like the last couple of days. Julian stopping by to have lunch with me today before heading to Jersey to see his daughter and grandchildren. He'll be back here tomorrow night and I think we'll go to the movies on Sunday. Rainy and nasty predicted for the weekend but we've dodged a bullet as Joachin is heading out to sea rather than coming onshore. As Lisa can attest to, we were all impacted terribly by Sandy and hurricanes make us nervous in a way we never were before. My oldest boy drove up from South Carolina to PA today with his wife and daughter to see his brother for his birthday. David has no idea and I know he will be so happy to see him. Besides, Uncle Jeremy has not yet seen his nephew and I know how much David wanted to have his brother and son meet each other. Wish I could be there, but as long as they are together and have a good time, that's all that matters. It's good for the boys to be together. Their dad passed away 21 years ago yesterday and it's never been a good day or even a good time of the year no matter how much time has passed. This is why closure is such a bullsh*t term. It means nothing. I reminded them both that they are my late husband's legacy and the fact that they have become loving husbands and fathers shows how much he influenced them. Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy whatever you do, eat mindfully, and do something that makes your heart happy. Liz

Congrats @VDB. I am still thrilled when I see how I fit in the world again and just how much easier everything is these days.

Hi Julie. I feel like I've been punched in the mid section. Hard. The port I think is basically in the same place, but sewn deeper into the muscle so it's not visible. I can't really tell yet because the whole area is swollen but the idea is that the port is now deeper in the abdominal muscle and changed out to a lower profile again to make it less noticeable. I'll let you know how it looks once the swelling goes down.

Just tell the doctor you're an overachiever. Laugh it off and get a fill. You'll be fine.

Congrats. Welcome to BariatricPal and good luck with your upcoming surgery.

Good for you! Mine was yesterday and had a hard time last night and early this morning. Doing better this afternoon though. Same as you....the new port should be pretty deep. I had a couple of prescription meds but nothing since this morning. I'm working from home tomorrow and Friday but back to the office on Monday.

I hate the idea of any more surgery but saw the bariatric surgeon for my regular visit on Friday and showed her the 'golf ball'. She said it wasn't dangerous but I really needed to get it fixed. So...a lower profile port is what I will get along with her stitching it to the muscle so it gets buried deeper. She said it would hurt more to get fills but I don't get any now so I don't care about what might or might not happen. I tried on a dress last week that I couldn't buy because my port was so visible. Will be nice to not have to deal with that anymore. Then she mentioned that she didn't do this too often because most bandsters didn't become as thin as I have. She said there's no fat for the port to be hidden by. I must say, I liked how that sounded.

This happens alot with online dating. It's a numbers game. The more you connect with, the better your chances of finding a good one. But you will kiss an awful lot of frogs before you find the princess. It can feel like an endurance run so make sure you're not overinvesting in anyone right away.

I'm having a port replacement tomorrow and I'm on a liquid only diet for two days. Doesn't have to be Clear liquids fortunately so I bought Lipton chicken noodle Soup and strained the noodles out. I always liked the flavor of the Lipton Soups but this tasted, I swear, like ocean Water. I couldn't believe how salty it was. I tried to water it down to no avail so I wound up tossing it. I guess this is the side effect of eating very little in the way of boxed/processed foods. The only thing I keep in the house that's processed is mac & cheese. I must admit I make that on occasion for a side dish. At 1/4 cup amounts, it didn't impact weight loss or current maintenance.

Totally. It looked like a golf ball under my skin. I can't see any change just now. The area is all swollen but once the swelling does go down, I should see the difference.

I'm not so naive to think that this article isn't somewhat skewed as most are. It's easy to tweak statistics to ensure a certain outcome, but I hope to see more and more articles and discussions like this. Especially powerful is the comparison to other attempts to improve oneself with very very poor outcomes. Maybe then one day, not so many people will think that we just have to walk away from the table or fat shame us in a million different ways. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ocean-robbins/the-truth-about-governor-_b_8198498.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

That's funny, but truthfully, it's commentary.....and inspiration. Hell, if I could, I'd post it as a NSV... I know this is probably TMI, but the look of wonder on my face he saw wasn't based on how good it felt when I was in a certain position...but more my amazement that I could even get my legs and waist bent that way...

I'm dating 35-49 ish. Mostly divorced with kids. I wouldn't worry then. You're not looking for 20 year olds who have no clue.

I was going to ask what age range you were looking to date. As OKCPirate notes, the older they are, the less concerned about tight skin they are. I'm 57 and my BF is 60. He knew about the skin ahead of time and it doesn't matter to him at all. I am very flexible at my size these days and very enthusiastic. Those things are waaay more important than the perfect body. Having said that, if you are much younger and seeing men in your age range, they might be taken aback if you do not disclose first. But if he's a keeper, the imperfections won't matter. I'm telling you...you are way more concerned about this than almost any man worth his salt. If you want to date, don't wait for plastic surgery....it's the least important reason for waiting in my book.

Good for you! Some of the women in my class have an hour's commute after class yet they show up regularly. I'm just around the corner so I have no reason not to get myself in gear and head over there.

You look spectacular. I'm not sleeved..I have a band. But the surgery was on 1/14/13 so I decided to post here. I'm also interested in how folks are doing nearly three years out. I'm finding maintenance a whole other animal and it comes with all sorts of challenges...

As Shel says, water water water. If the gym is too expensive, try the Y. I belong and it's alot less than the gyms in the area. I know I can't and don't have the right to tell you how to spend your money but this is immensly important for you. I have joint disease and even with new hips, the treadmill and bicycle are not the best option. Water however, helped me more than any physical therapy ever did. Take a look at my stats. I did that swimming laps and doing water aerobics.

I'm actually very surprised your therapist has you creating this OK Cupid account. This isn't a dig, but it's obvious you are in a very vulnerable place right now and adding the feelings/emotions of another person seems very dangerous. I worry that this woman wants to fix you...support you, nurse you, etc. I'm so sorry Smye but I really think you are right...you are so not ready for a relationship. Tell this woman now that you jumped the gun. She will either tell you it's OK, or tell you to F**k off. My biggest challenge in the dating world was to understand that I had no control over someone else. That was hard because I always felt it was my fault. Not pretty enough..not funny enough, not good enough in bed. God..the list can go on and on. You want to be the best Smye you can when you start to look for a new partner. Enough with the dating... Work on your issues first and be the healthiest emotionally you can. I don't mean to sound superior but I'm living proof of this strategy. I was so desperate to remarry after my husband died that I did marry four years after his death to a man who was as desperate as me. He thought a wife would make his life wonderful. He got everything he wanted. A wife, a nice house, more money than he was used to...and he was still a miserable son of a bitch. He hated his own life so nothing I did or tried made any difference. I knew from that experience not to date again. And I didn't. Not for 20 years. And just to make sure nothing would ever ever happen with the opposite sex, I made myself so unattractive that no man would want me. When I had WLS, it was for medical reasons. Only after I lost all the weight, did I realize I was getting interest from the opposite sex. For a year after going online, I made mistake after mistake and only with the therapist's help, was I able to be smart about who I was attracting..and who I was attracted to. I'm currently with an emotionally healthy man and we are having a great time together. Sorry for this long post, but really...you are heading in a very bad direction in my opinion..and I also feel bad for this woman you are likely going to disappoint.

I'm going to the Pennsylvania Dutch Country with the BF next month and sure enough..he wants to go horseback riding. I haven't been on a horse since I was a kid but how nice to not have to worry that I'd kill the poor animal by just getting on him.

To the surprise of both myself and my primary care physician, I lost all my excess weight.

Oh gosh yes...the shoes. I forgot about the shoes. I too went from an 8 1/2 wide to a 7 regular. Wish I had known that...I had to give away so many pairs of shoes as the weight came off. Who expects that??

You can't make someone treat you a certain way. All I can do is say no thanks and have nothing while I wait around for a man that doesn't exist. I just want to give you a big hug Carol. You are obviously hurting and I'm so sorry you haven't found a therapist who can help you. That man does exist. Even if you never cross paths, he does exist. Pink Dahlia is right. Like finds like. If you value yourself, you will attract men who value you. I learned that lesson the hard way but at least I learned it. Only when I got to a good place in my life, was I able to bring someone into it who is also in a good place in his life. It took me 15 years to get there. Honestly. I had so much work to do on myself that I stayed away from men for all that time. In retrospect, it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I'm with a man now who cares for me and values me, like the bible quote says, 'at a price above rubies'. You deserve the same.

Just an FYI gals...we're so used to limited clothing options when we wear larger sizes, but once you are out of women's sizes and able to shop anywhere, this becomes less and less of an issue. If you can't find anything at one store, you can just go to another one. I wore plus sizes for so long that I forget how much easier it is to buy clothes when you have so many more options. I recall when I flew to London over the summer that I didn't worry for the first time in a long time, if my luggage got lost. Worst case scenario, I go to any store to replace what was lost. Any store.

@@gowalking i would put your picture up as a role model you are an inspiration to me kathy Aww...thank you Kathy. How sweet of you.