gowalking

Keep looking at your before and after picture. One of the things that works for me is that I dress up alot this time of the year. I buy some new items as well. It's a great reminder of how much I love to dress up now and love to go clothes shopping. Basically try finding other ways to satisfy yourself that are not food related.

LOL...only a fellow NYer would want to know what we saw. Fun Home. It won the Tony back in June but just got around to seeing it last night.

Enjoy it because it may not last. You are likely swollen from surgery. Once the swelling subsides you may find yourself hungry again and in need of a fill or two. Oh...and welcome to the banded life. Here's hoping it's as good for you as it's been for me.

Fantastic! What a dress...and you look spectacular in it. I hope the hubby couldn't keep his hands off you!

Went for my year two follow up since the hip replacements this morning and NYU has a system that tracks all your appointments and test results, etc. in a single system. They use both a photo and a palm print to confirm you in the system and today, the woman at the desk looks long and hard at my photo (taken prior to WLS) and asks me if I'd like a new picture taken. I was pleased as punch and put a big smile on my face as an updated picture is now part of my data profile. Next on the list...my driver's licence and my passport. I always get that hard stare from the male TSA agents...and the comments from the female agents about how I look great now. Not that I mind the comments but I'd like to move past the stares and comments now that I'm nearly three years post banded. Have a great weekend everybody!

Just know that it will take some time for you to know what looks good and what doesn't. You will buy things just because they fit. It's how we used to shop. Slowly but surely you will realize that if you don't buy something at one store, you can try ten more. The world opens up to you once you are out of women's sizes. I truly bought and wore several items once and not again. I looked at some of the outfits I bought once I had them home and just shook my head sadly not knowing what had come over me. There's going to be alot of mistakes but if you learn from them, they will be learning experiences. Look at this as a fun thing...not a dreaded task to get through. At some point you will feel this way but till you do, just fake it till you make it!

I don't think it's about being perfect...I think it's about having the band do its job and help you/us to be successful. I would still look to the medical professionals to help with this so your band can work the way it's supposed to. Sorry if I sound like a numbskull but I would look to my doctor(s) for help and not feel as if I was a failure...because you're not.

Hi Crystal. I was banded in January of 2013. I'm doing fine but posts like this worry me as I can't help but wonder if this is my future. I have no advice as I haven't experienced what you are going through but my first thought is what does your doctor say? Why have you had multiple slips? Why do you say you are a failed band patient? It sounds to me like you are trying to get back on track and not trying to eat around or cheat the band. I'm hoping you can get the help and support you need. Please keep us posted on your progress.

It's just a number kiddo. You look fantastic!

I want a picture or two...

I never went to any of the support groups. I'm on this site and two years ago I started therapy due to several issues related to the weight loss.

Dr. Ren did my surgery.

I'm not banded 5+ years, which to me is a veteran. I'm nearly 3 years out..so no newbie here, but again, not a real long term bandster just yet. Having said that, I'm heading into another season as a smaller person and some things I think, will never get old. When I can sit in an airplane seat and put the arm down and not ask for a belt extender..and can bend over to get something out of my bag on the floor, I can't take that for granted. Not when I can still recall with ease how those things were impossible prior to WLS. Going to the airplane bathroom? 'Nuff said, right? For the first time in a long time...not wondering if the clothing for the new season still fits from last year. Remember when you would pull out the sweaters, or the summerwear once the seasons changed? Remember the fear that something or lots of somethings that fit last year, wouldn't this time around? I moved all my summer stuff to the back of the closet and am working on bringing the late fall/winter stuff up front. I've worn some of these things again after months in the back of the closet and have not had to worry if it will fit. I hope I never get tired of that feeling. Mostly for me, it's basically a feeling of fitting. Not fitting in...like being part of a group or not, but simply fitting physically into the space a person is supposed to occupy rather than the extra space we all needed and sometimes didn't get.

I was younger than you but changed careers after my husband passed away. I was 36 and my children were 16 and 13. I did not want to continue doing what I was doing because we owned a business together and it was not my dream..it was his. I supported him but had no interest in taking it over. I was in the right place at the right time. My SIL asked me to give her my resume as her department was looking for junior data coordinators to assist data managers in overseeing data for clinical trials for pharmaceutical companies. I knew nothing about this industry but my SIL said that her company was desperate for intelligent people to move into starting positions. I got the job because I was Mimi's SIL and I didn't drool at the interview. That was luck and timing because I knew nothing about data management. Nothing. The success was my doing. I worked hard, learned the business...made tons of mistakes, but ultimately became good at what I do. Before I wound up in this industry, I had no idea what i was going to do to earn money. None. Everything I have I owe to my SIL who opened the door for me to have this second career. I'm not saying it's easy, but you have to at least give it a shot just to see what happens.

I find that a good tip for me is to see if there any any folks at my table who want to share. This way, you can have a taste of this or that and not have to pack up half you dinner, or only order an appetizer. I take my portion from what's available, put it on my plate and when I'm done, I'm done. There's nothing left to pick over as others keep eating. For those who are afraid of over-eating, this is a good tactic.

Such great advice and resources @@Inner Surfer Girl.

I've been actively in the maintenance phase for over a year and still have the same issues regarding keeping warm. I live in NYC but am typing this while sitting poolside in South Florida. My sister keeps her apartment cold as she is a furnace on two legs. Rather than freeze, I brought a long sleeve nightgown down with me this time and between that and the comforter, I stay warm. I never leave the apartment without a sweater as I get chilled so easily. Yes...even in the Miami area, I need a sweater. So far, I seem to have the same issues as last year regarding being cold. The big difference this year is that I share my bed several nights a week and happily, the heat rolls off him and he keeps me warm at night. So far I haven't needed to go to the heavy comforter at home yet. I don't know that it will be different next year but so far, no change between losing and maintaining.

Maybe talk to a career counselor at a local college? Perhaps they can let you know some of the professions out there that might grab your fancy.

Happy Thanksgiving all my BP friends. Have a safe and happy holiday. Liz

Bingo on the erectile dysfunction @Oregondaisy. My second husband had issues and he was in his 40's. The two men I was semi-serious with while on the dating sites both had this issue. One of them is my steady guy now. I've learned to let it go. He can still make love..though it's not like he was a young man...and I'm OK with it because he is a very generous and thoughtful lover in other ways. He makes me feel good and satisfies me with things other than his penis. Most important...really...is that we enjoy each other's company. He rubs my feet when we sit and watch TV..he hold me in his arms at night, he's a companion with benefits. I'll take it any day of the week. Don't look for the instant chemistry. See if you click when you talk. See if you are interested in him and what he says. I went back and forth for a while because I didn't have the 'hots' for my guy. But I didn't tell him to go away either because I really enjoyed his company. We are learning to be compatible physically but the companionship is what really counts in my mind. I know it's not for everyone but priorities change as you age and at 57, some things are not as important as when I was in my 20's and 30's.

That post from @@tink401 reminded me of something that recently happened. I have a tee shirt that I saved for more years than I care to recall. It was given to me by my then boyfriend and future husband. I was 16 at the time I first wore it, and pretty petite at that age. I came across the shirt cleaning out my dresser drawers in preparation for new bedroom furniture and thought I'd give it a shot. Don't you know that shirt slipped on like it did 40 years ago? How's that for a mind blowing NSV?

Fortunately I'll be in South Florida for the holidays and plan on swimming laps in the pool. So much more comfy in the warm Florida Water instead of the cold water at the Y at home.

It's possible she is creating a self fulfilling prophesy. She may have though that once you started to lose weight, the marriage would go south. In order to make sure she controls that, she may be sabotaging her weight loss... I may be totally wrong on this but I can even hear her in her head thinking 'well, he was going to leave me anyway. Why should I do what he wants me to do?'. Seriously...this is a major issue and I don't know that you and the wife have the capability to work it out without professional help. I even suspect she doesn't know why she's not complying. If you can't see the issue for what it is, you can't change it. Good luck. Oh...and no judgement here. I divorced my second husband even though I loved him. He was so f**k-up that I couldn't be with him no matter how much I tried. It was like being pulled down into the Water knowing I was drowning. I had to cut the rope and let him go so I could swim back up to the surface. Weight was not our issue...and it may not be yours either. The weight might be an outside symbol only. OK...sorry..can you tell I've been in therapy?

That's it...I give. I can't... I've been struggling to not gain back weight. For a few months now, I've been saying each and every morning, 'today I will make good choices'. And more often than not, I am eating more than I should. I presumed it was stress eating, head hunger, happy new relationship overeating, blah blah blah. Turns out, I'm just plain hungry. Went to see my doctor and told her of my struggles. I've gained ten pounds over the last six months. Some of my clothes are getting tight. I refuse to buy anything that's going to accommodate weight gain. My doctor explained that the fat cells aren't gone..they're just dormant. And now, they are waking up again and my body is begging to gain weight back again. She swears it's biological and not emotional. I feel like I'm failing and she tells me that failing is not doing anything about this new found hunger, and not requesting a fill. So...Friday will get my first fill after nearly three years banded. I'm both troubled and relieved. This reminds me of when I recently had surgery and went off my anti-inflammatory meds. Was in so much discomfort that I couldn't even walk standing straight. All my joints hurt. I couldn't believe how much the meds were keeping me pain free. The band needing Fluid is sort of the same thing I guess. I'm not 'cured' from overeating and obesity. The band manages my hunger enough for me to make good choices. Without it, I'm back to square one. I have to think the same about the band as I do about the meds I take. Prevention in order to not suffer from my arthritis, or my obesity. It really is a disease...and not a vice.

Lisa...it's kicking in. Started on Tuesday. Not hungry all the time and not grazing like I was. Thank goodness!! Thanks all for letting me know it can take a while.