gowalking

..don't forget pocketbooks. I had to shorten all the shoulder straps, or just give them away if they weren't adjustable.

Go walking, you are beautiful! Congrats on all that hard work, I am struggling with what life can or will be like not big? I feel like the emotional adjustment will be just as tough as the psychical one. Any pointers? Thank you @sam1016. The best pointer I can give you is to work with a therapist if you feel like you are not handling things the way you had hoped. I did not recognize myself a year after my surgery. I saw a wrinkled, old woman staring back at me. I had lost at that point, about 90 lbs. I think and did not see the weight loss at all, but only the thinning hair, the hanging skin, and everything else in a negative way. I saw the therapist for two years and just recently decided to try to deal with things on my own. But if I feel at any point that I need her help again, I'll be back in her office. I still will hold a pair of jeans up and think that I'll never fit into them even though I know I do. This is a wonderful journey but it has it's ups and downs for sure. Some folks can eventually have their heads catch up to the changes that their bodies are going through but I could not and knew that I needed professional help. Don't hesitate to do the same if you feel the need. Good luck sweetie and keep us posted on how you're doing, OK?

I read these posts and think, 'I'm so happy that I'm three years post op'. What I mean by that is I've been this size more or less for the past year and a half. So my family, friends, co-workers, etc. don't say anything anymore. Not about weight at least. I still get compliments but they are more in the vein of the nice outfit I'm wearing or my new hairstyle, or some such thing. It's not about the weight I'm losing or have lost. It's a good place to be. I want the people in my life to forget the fat woman I was and get totally used to the size I am now. That to me is the definition of success.

I know it's hard to imagine ever being slender when one is morbidly obese yet you can see in this before and after of me that it's possible.

Having been a nurse for 23 yrs, I totally get Dr. Now. He tells it like it is...because these people need to hear it! They will lie to you to your face, just like Dottie did last night. "I don't know how I didn't lose. I haven't cheated...I didn't over eat, I ate everything I was supposed to!" ... as we watched her eat those chips with supper and wash it down with a coke. He's not a dummy. He hasn't done this many surgeries to listen to lies. He knows what a person's body goes through during these procedures and it's his way of making or breaking them. You either man up and do what you were told to do for the program or get out. Yes, it's blunt, but trust me....you see through the BS and after awhile, tell it like it is. So...folks lie to the people who are there to help them and to themselves. Explain to me again, why food is not considered an addiction the way alcohol and drugs are. (she says, dripping sarcasm)

OMG...you are soooo bad. LOL!!

@@2goldengirl im glad you said that about mercy street cuz im recording it but haven't started it cuz my co-worker said it wasn't good but now i'll start and see how it is Mercy Street is a slow build. It may not have enough 'drama' for some but I'm finding it very good. I prefer slower paced shows where you get a chance to really get to know the characters. And on that same topic, for all you Downton Abbey fans, try Upstairs/Downstairs. It was the pre-cursor to DA...and in my opinion, the better of the two series.

Hi gowalking - I was fast-tracked through the band process (1 month from first appointment to surgery), told not to eat bread, rice or Pasta for 6 months, told to come in for a fill every couple of months and that was really it. I did very well the first 6 months... Then lost my job, lost my home to foreclosure (2009) and didn't have insurance to cover fills anymore (they were charging $175+ for a fill) and so I didn't follow-up. I ended up living out of suitcases for a couple of years and moved back to Minnesota (all of the surgery/foreclosure, etc happened in Texas). The band failing is more because *I* didn't follow than for any other reason. It's helped me maintain and kept me from gulping my food (I have to chew well if I don't want to experience that stuck feeling) but I need a more aggressive tool. That's why I'm seeking bypass as I hope it will help with my sugar cravings (I actually WANT to dump). Thanks Deb. Sounds like an impossible situation you were dealing with. Plus, I've always had an issue with doctors not giving their patients the info they need. I went to a center of excellence but it was only by being on this site that I really got what I needed to do in order to find success with the band. The NUT was useless. In fact, it was here on BP that I learned that I needed to track and weigh my food..and get as much Water in as possible. I also learned how to use the tricks to deal with the head hunger. Something my surgeon and the office personnel never brought up. Good luck with the revision. I'm rooting for 'ya!.

Hi Deb. I hope you don't mind my asking this but is there a reason why you didn't lose more weight with the band? I was banded three years ago and lost all the excess weight..around 150 lbs.. I'm fluctuating now up and down 10-15 lbs. but I'm in maintenance and not looking to lose. I do want to stay at a steadier weight however, so I'm actually going for another fill later this month as I only have 3 cc's of Fluid in there and I could use some more restriction. When I read things like you've posted, I can't help but worry that the band will stop working for me...or will cause health problems. The thought of having to revise is not something I'd want to have to do.....so any information you can share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

The Impressionists are beautiful, aren't they? Glad you enjoyed. Next time go to the Metropolitan Museum. It's huge so map it out first. The artwork is beyond stunning.Agreed ! and look into the Frick collection....it's unbelievable but I strongly suggest buying tickets online before your visit. The line routinely stretches around the block and then some for same day tickets. I love going to The Frick. This is why I put up with the noise and crush of people...and the terribly high cost of living here. The cultural activities are beyond belief. In fact, after work today, I'm heading to the theater district to pick up tickets for The Crucible. I've never seen an Arthur Miller play...not even Death of a Salesman. So The Crucible it is.

Resentment over being invisible when heavy my friend is a whole other thread.. Speaking for myself, I've come to terms with it. It just is what it is. Hell, I find I do the same thing...avoiding random interactions with larger people. I think we are afraid to make an obese person feel even more uncomfortable than they already may be. At least that's what I think I do when I don't engage with a larger person. And it's true...there is a vibe often of 'leave me alone'. I'm sure it's all part of the 'leave me alone' thing...which is why the layers of fat may be there to begin with. I know that many folks feel they are just the same, only in a smaller and healthier body. I am of the opinion however, that for the majority of us, we have undergone both outside and inside changes. I know I am not the same person I was when I was heavier. My basic identity is the same...as is my moral compass. But everything else is up for grabs.

The Impressionists are beautiful, aren't they? Glad you enjoyed. Next time go to the Metropolitan Museum. It's huge so map it out first. The artwork is beyond stunning.

Oh absolutely. When I was obese, I was invisible. Somewhere on my weight loss journey, I started to feel better about myself and began to wear makeup and do my hair. I had already started to wear more fashionable clothes. You find that you carry yourself differently...more confidently..and it starts to occur to you that people...both men and woman...are noticing. Now...if you really want to attract male attention...wear a dress. I've been wearing dresses to work regularly for a little over a year and can't help but notice how guys not only hold open doors, but they let me in and out of the elevators first, they even let me get ahead of them on the lunch line.

Oh sweetie..I agree with Sharon. You should be in counseling so you can learn how to cope with the idea of being on your own. I say this because I've been where you are. My husband and I didn't divorce. He passed away and left me with two young children to raise and no real career to fall back on. I had no idea how to live on my own. I still remember what I said when the doctor told me he had died. I kept saying over and over again, 'what am I going to do?' You need a therapist same as I did. Someone who will help you figure out that you are stronger than you can imagine and can take care of herself. I won't say it was easy, but here I am 20 years after my husband died and my kids are grown and happy. They are good husbands and fathers. I not only got through being alone and on my own...I saw how enjoyable being responsible to only yourself can be. Please....stop acting out of fear and start being pro-active. If money is the issue, find out what is available from non profit organizations. I found support groups at the local hospital, at my house of worship, and even online. And yes...I think a few days with mom and dad is a good thing too.

Hope you enjoyed my town! I was all over the city as well on Sunday. I bet we passed each other without even knowing it. "Enjoyed"? Well I enjoyed MoMA, buying my daughter some Tiffany Earrings, finally getting on top of the Empire State Building. But the traffic, $60 a day for parking, and the Newark Airport left much to be desired. At least the weather Sunday was nice. Found a great place in Fishkill for dinner Saturday, but I did not do a good job of researching food while I was in the City. Left that to my 16 year old daughter, major mistake* NOTE for all WLS person, don't let kids make the call. Fishkill, huh? That's a ways away from the big city. I hope you didn't travel all the way there just for dinner. LOL. If you ever get back here again, PM me...and I'll give you plenty of food options...and tips for cheaper parking. Can't help you with traffic or Newark Airport unfortunately.... Did you see the Picasso exhibit at MOMA? The BF and I went a few weeks ago and I enjoyed it alot more than the Jackson Pollock exhibit.

Hope you enjoyed my town! I was all over the city as well on Sunday. I bet we passed each other without even knowing it.

Sounds to me like they noticed all right...they just didn't vocalize it. Don't sweat it...after all, at some point the compliments will stop because people will get used to the smaller you. I'm three years banded, about half that time in maintenance. No one says anything anymore....and I'm fine with that. It means they are getting used to seeing me at my new size.

See my response in the other thread where you posted this. Don't be embarrassed...you're not the only one going through this. Try weighing out your food so you don't overeat. Make better food choices, don't eat between meals. Find something to do so you are not grazing. Go to the gym, work on a puzzle, read, take a bath, anything that gets you out of the kitchen. Also...keep crap out of the house so if you find you must have something to eat, it's healthy. I have fruit, hard boiled eggs, and SF sucking candies at the ready to satisfy those urges. It sounds like the band is doing it's job. Now you need to do your job. Good luck and let us know how it's going.

With all due respect, I think you may have had unrealistic expectation for the band...not high expectations. It sounds like the band is doing exactly what it's supposed to. Now you have to do what you are supposed to. Make healthy choices, avoid sliders, and exercise. If your band is full and you're at green, work with a nutritionist who will help you with food choices. And let your surgeon know you are struggling. I'm sure he/she has seen it all and won't judge.

OK Lisa...not good news. Keep us posted and let me know if there's anything I can do.

Many of us are dealing with the guilt that comes with how much damage we've done to our bodies because of the obesity. I've had to have both hips replaced and my knees will have to be replaced as well sometime in the future. I've always felt that I caused this damage because of the excess weight I've carried around for so many years. My rhumatologist kept telling me that I have joint disease and inflammatory disease and this would have happeded regardless. It's hard to believe it but I now understand he's correct. My mother suffers from IBS...irritable bowel syndrome and my sister suffers from hidranentis suppurativa..which is eruptions/boils in the groin, armpit, and under breast area. She saw a specialist the other day who explained to her that this was an inflammatory illness and when she told the doctor about my mother and myself, he said that we're all suffering from inflammatory illnesses, just in different areas of the body and that this is absolutely genetic in origin. Now..it doesn't get me totally off the hook. I might have been able to keep the degeneration of my joints under better control had I been smaller, but at least I know that the outcome would have eventually been the same. We carry enough guilt due to our weight issues so one less thing to feel guilty about works for me.

Good luck girls! I also work in Edison and lived in Middlesex county for more than 15 years before moving to NYC. I'm 3 years post WLS and am now living a normal life. It's wonderful and you ladies are in for quite an exhilarating and at times, frustrating journey. Always remember though to keep your eye on the prize. Living as a healthy and slender person is a great thing.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

I had a cath when my hips were replaced. I couldn't get up for a couple of days. I wasn't told to shave nor was I shaved. I needed help not only going to the bathroom, but cleaning myself after. I saw...and believe me...I still had pubic hair.

I'm wearing a pair of black pumps at work. I'd say if not a 3" heel, than pretty close to that. I still have the flats I used to wear because I couldn't possibly teeter on a fashionable heel when I was obese. The only reason I haven't thrown them away is that they are an emergency shoe only.