gowalking

I love the social aspect of dining out and that hasn't changed. Yes...I'm done before everyone else but it's not about the food as much as it's about spending time with friends and family.

Three years out and my posts have started to shift to living and observing life as a thin person and not focused on what to eat/not eat, what I weight..etc. Yesterday I had an encounter that would have meant nothing to someone always thin, but reminds me constantly that I am not the same person I was. I don't mean that my moral compass has shifted, or that my personality is vastly different...or possibly it is. I was at the market yesterday and bumped into another shopper. Happens all the time in NYC markets...they are very tight as is everything in NYC. I apologized and the woman laughed and said, 'hey, this in Manhattan...nothing we can do about it.'. I agreed with her and moved on and then realized this would not have happened when I was obese. I would have still apologized but my eyes would have been down and I'd have scurried away as soon as possible.....because it would have been my fault that we collided. How does an obese woman not get in other people's space when she takes up more than her share? Now times that by a thousand because of how we live here in the city. The old Liz would have been so embarrassed but this new, normal sized Liz wasn't even thinking that way...I was only apologizing as anyone would have done. And then I allowed a bit of small talk after that encounter that would have never happened before either. We really need to admit that when we lose so much weight, we do become different people. Both internally and externally. I was on a girls weekend recently with long time friends and likely due to the amount of alcohol flowing, we got silly and sentimental. I heard many times, how inspirational my story is. How I changed my life around. How I was always a great person before, but I simply glow these days. I found it embarrassing but I understood it was complementary and I just had to suck it up while they went on and on. Don't tell me that doesn't change a person because it does.

You said it sister! I never used any other 'excuses' for the reason I was fat. Totally self indulgent even to the point of immobility.

Abby....take it from someone like me, who's been 'normal' sized for a few years now...you will hear things like that more than once. No...she did not mean to be cruel or unfeeling. She was just reiterating how you've changed (on the outside). Most of us did not realize how large we were just as many of us don't see how smaller we get over time. Some of my friends and family....who never said anything derogatory about my size while I was heavy, have since told me several times that there is such an enormous difference from when I was 'heavy', 'obese', 'large', etc. Take your pick...it all means the same thing. When one is morbidly obese, it's all most people see...not the person behind the weight, but the weight itself. It's not fair, but it is what it is. Forget about what she said and let it go. I believe it was her way of giving you a compliment and it sounds like she is supportive so give her the benefit of the doubt.

Oh sweetie...your band is not working the way it should. Nothing to feel guilty about. Can you get a new doctor who will be better suited to your needs? I bet once your band is working, you will not have these kind of issues.

JWM...sending you {{hugs}}

I've been on this site since just before my surgery a little over three years ago. The people here have helped me to lose the weight and are helping me to maintain as well. I've seen some great posters leave here over the years and it makes me sad but I also love the new people who come here and share their stories. I hope to be here for years to come.

There are so many things I want to say after reading this but I think thank you says it all.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. My sister is morbidly obese and even with my success losing my excess weight, she has not decided to do anything about her weight issue. Truthfully, I am hoping that I don't hate her if she dies before her time because of her obesity. I expected to grow old with her and now I don't think that will happen. I love her and don't want to lose her but I can't call her out in any way regarding her weight. She knows how heavy she is and she also understands that it's impacting her life span. That she chooses to do nothing to change that is something I cannot address without her feeling like I'm chastising her. So..I say nothing and hope she makes the choice herself to lose weight.

I watched. If anyone needs therapy it's her. Not because she's crazy...she's not. But because she uses food as a panacea for her issues. Wasn't surprised she abused her pain meds. I hope she's seeing the therapist and getting healthier physically and emotionally. Oh and her in the truck...I bet she never went shopping with her family. She did it because of the show. The shower and shop part of the show are for us to gawk at them unfortunately.

FYI, I found Zoosk to be a good dating site. Had more success there than POF or even Jdate. Am with my current BF since May and met him on Zoosk. Honestly...I feel so lucky to have met him. What a sweet and caring man he turned out to be. I did not care for the 'job' of looking for a significant other but I'm glad I did. When I climb into bed and he's in there with me, I can feel my stress level drop, and I completely relax in his arms. There's nothing better in those moments. Hang in there...and all I can do is hope you find someone special as well.

Are you having issues with the band? I got mine three years ago and lost more pounds than what I currently weigh. I literally got a new lease on life since being banded and I am always concerned that the band will need removal for some reason so I often ask long time bandsters if they are having issues. Do you? And if yes, can you expand upon them so I can know some of the things to keep an eye out for? Thanks.

Wonderful news Jim! Best to you and Kelly!!

No one is asking anyone to become the food police. I hate when someone tries that. It's one thing to make recommendations, it another to say you should or should not eat something.

Ooooo that's a good one! Although I still like Dolly's version better Dolly can do no wrong. Dolly wrote it, so her version had so much more depth and feeling in it than anyone else could. Whitney's version was great for her vocal abilities, but she didn't have the heartbreak and sadness that Dolly put into it. She's still a pistol, too. Hooray! I thought I was the only one who preferred Dolly's version. Yes...Whitney's vocals are amazing but the heartache comes through in Dolly's version in a way that Whitney's doesn't. I can cry just thinking about this song...much less hearing it.

I was? I only went in there for about 10 seconds last night and it was empty... wonder if maybe my window didn't close out until later or something. oh yeah...maybe.

I went in there last night. jamielogical was there but then she left. I thought it was all about me, but I remembered what my therapist said...and let it go... Maybe I'll see some of you in there tonight or tomorrow night.

I love this....I looked up the song that was #1 the day I was born. Poor Little Fool by Ricky Nelson. I had no idea...and I know this song too...

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Back in NY after being in Florida. Cold in Florida, brutally cold here in NY. Got home last night and the BF had roses and a roast chicken waiting for me. If that's not love, I don't know what is...

I did something yesterday that I almost never do. I had leftover spaghetti in the fridge and Tuesday night, I ate a little of it cold out of the pot. It took me right back to when I did this all the time and I got so worried I'd slide back into old bad habits so Iast night when I got home from work, I took that pot of spaghetti and tossed it into the garbage. My therapist had said that it was fine to throw away food because she said it wasn't wasteful, but smart. In my case, eating it rather than throwing it away was like treating my body as though it was a garbage pail. I thought of that yesterday and decided the spaghetti belonged in the garbage pail under my sink, and not in my belly. Otherwise, I'd be tossing it away regardless if it went into the garbage or into me. I felt such a sense of relief that the food was now no longer calling me. We all have trigger foods, and mine is Pasta. I know now that I can't have it sitting in the fridge. I decided that next time, if the BF doesn't finish it at dinner, any leftovers go right into the trash.

Folks used the chat rooms alot more when we were separated by our different WLS surgeries. Once we were all under the BP umbrella, the chat rooms sorta faded away.

What Ann said. Amen sister!!

I watched last night after not watching several of the prior episodes. Ariel's arms and legs looked bad. Like sausages. Her mom looked like she had WLS and is on her journey. Something unbalanced about the way she looks. I've seen it before with super morbidly obese folk.

I saw this episode last night. Her using the children as the reason for her overeating was getting annoying. Didn't mean she didn't believe it, but it was annoying none the less. I liked that Dr. Now didn't let her squirm away from the truth. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. No one gets that size just because they like to eat. There is something else going on and the overeating is just the result of whatever folks can't deal with. It's not always a horror story like abuse...sometimes it's just a coping mechanism that unfortunately, everyone can tell we suffer from because of how it impacts our bodies. I say this as one of the morbidly obese. I wasn't 600 lbs. but close to 300 lbs. in a small framed person. I had as difficult a time with my mobility as Dottie and so many others on this show have. Yet, I still needed surgery to help me with my addiction.

Best physically: being able to walk like a normal person. No more cane, and no more severe joint pain. Best emotionally: wearing dresses at work like I did years ago..and getting compliments all the time from my colleagues..and now the BF when we meet up after work. Worst: Times when I'd like to eat certain trigger foods with abandon. Can't do it no more..which is good of course, but I admit that I miss it sometimes.