gowalking

Your Mrs. did my lapband surgery a little over three years ago and about six months ago, she had to move the port under the muscle as it stuck out like a golfball...which she said was because I had no fat anymore. She's a great doctor and the office and those who work there have been great as well. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back thanks to your wife and the office that supports her. Many thanks to both of you.

I'm here Julie...and always available. Liz

@oregondaisy..I was widowed at 36. it was also a long time ago but I sure do have a good idea what you went through and what Julie is going thru. She and I have PM'd as well. Also sorry to hear about your band. I too am banded and am always super alert to anything in order to be proactive. I'd hate to have issues and have to revise to another WLS.

@oregondaisy..I was widowed at 36. it was also a long time ago but I sure do have a good idea what you went through and what Julie is going thru. She and I have PM'd as well. Also sorry to hear about your band. I too am banded and am always super alert to anything in order to be proactive. I'd hate to have issues and have to revise to another WLS. @oregondaisy..I was widowed at 36. it was also a long time ago but I sure do have a good idea what you went through and what Julie is going thru. She and I have PM'd as well. Also sorry to hear about your band. I too am banded and am always super alert to anything in order to be proactive. I'd hate to have issues and have to revise to another WLS.

Yeah...one more thing this friend said to me that is sooo true. She said the opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. Once you don't give a rats ass about him or how he feels or how you hope he feels, you'll know you're on your way

When my first husband passed away, I was inconsolable, destroyed, angry, grief-stricken..etc. I kept trying to figure out how to change the outcome ridiculous as it was. I was a zombie for months just going through the motions. When I joined Parents Without Partners, a friend I had in the organization told me that divorce is the death of a marriage rather than the death of a spouse. The feelings however, are very similar. Sounds to me that you are in that grieving phase. The marriage is dead but you are still trying to figure out how to change the outcome. I hear very familiar things when you say you have no one to go to and he was your best friend. Many nights, I laid in bed talking to a dead man. Hell, I still do and it's been more than 20 years. Just like with the death of a loved one, you will over time, learn to accept the loss of your marriage and find happiness in other ways. It took me a long time to couple up again and I had my share of frogs along the way but I also made wonderful relationships with other 'uncoupled' women that meant everything to me...and still do. Find a support group where your story will resonate and you will find others who feel as you do. Right now you can't see past the end of your nose, but many of us know that at some point, you'll wonder why you let that good for nothing take up so much space in your life and head.

So glad things are going well for you Debbie and Joe. I'm a bit miserable these days I'm sorry to say. I'm happy with my fellow but work is very stressful. All I know is that I've crept up 15 lbs. over the last few months even with two fills and just now, I put on a pair of jeans that after a wash and tumble in the dryer, are uncomfortably tight. I'm so disappointed in myself. I said I'd never let this happen and now I'm close to having to slip into a bigger size because of the weight gain. I need to get another fill, and go back to basics...even go back to tracking my food intake again. I know what to eat and what not to, I just am not following the plan that helped me to lose the weight. I'm posting here rather than on the main site....I need my support and no comments from people who don't know my story and struggle. The one thing I'm not going to do is disappear. I think alot of people do when they fall off the wagon and folks need to know how hard...really hard maintenance is even with surgery.

Sorry if I came on too strong...I just see bad things happening with this lady and wanted to make sure I got your attention.

Get out. Now. Right now. Moving forward, DO NOT and I repeat, DOOOO NOTTTT have any exclusive relationships right now. I'm with my 'better half' nearly a year and we've only mentioned the 'L' word to make sure neither of us are using it. Believe me..it works for us, and likely many others as well. Point is, you seem like a very intelligent man based on the posts I've read. This is not the time for your little head to be making decisions. Use the head between your shoulders and not between your legs. You can't be in love with anyone after 6 weeks of dating. You are in lust. And now the lust is gone because you are seeing the red flags. Tell her whatever you need to in order to end it. She'll hate you no matter what you say and you know it. Just man up and do it.

I didn't watch last night's episode but I get the drift from your description. These super morbidly obese people are just an extreme version of what many of us are like. I don't want to presume we are all the same..because we are not. But for me and my experience, I wasn't eating to excess just because I was hungry. The eating was a symptom of other problems/issues. I see it rearing it's ugly head again because my stress level at work is so high. I'm looking to food again to settle myself down when I have a very stressful day...and there are lots of them lately. The surgery is only one component of a multiple approach to weight loss.

Yup. Nothing against admins...the two who support my group are wonderful...but you have a masters degree..you are selling yourself short if you do not challenge yourself and find employment that better matches your skill set. Good luck!

When my first husband passed away, I was afraid of being alone and I had no idea how to live alone so I married a nice man four years later. I found out that it's soooo much better to be alone than to feel alone when your husband is lying next to you in bed. We divorced at my insistence because I knew I had to put myself in a better place physically and emotionally. It was the beginning of quite an adventure of self-discovery. Point is....see this as a positive and not a negative. You will now be responsible for only yourself and once the fear subsides, you may very likely find that being beholding to no one is quite an empowering emotion. Oh...and therapy helps alot. Do what you have to in order to see someone. That shouldn't be thought of as an option...it should be a necessity.

Make sure he knows you had this epiphany and realized he isn't worth one more minute of your time.

sorry to hear Deb. I didn't know they could test for Fibromyalgia. I've titrated off Cymbalta (for pain, not depression) and am starting Lyrica soon..which is for fibromyalgic pain..but I've never actually been diagnosed... It's always 'inflammatory pain'..

Welcome Wendy! I'm in maintenance and working on correct restriction as well. I've gained 15 lbs. since the summer so I know I'm not there yet. But I also feel that every day is a new start and I keep on trying.

when they know your vulnerable areas, they go for 'em. if it wasn't the weight, it would have been something else. they do what they need to in order to make sure it's over...even if it's very hurtful. it happened to me a long time ago...when I wasn't even that heavy. he just knew I was self conscious about the fact that I wasn't thin and he used it to end the relationship. I was probably 25 lbs. heavier than I am now...so I wasn't more than a bit 'fluffy'. try to shrug it off...and don't let the next guy know so much about this part of your life. ...at least not till you're more than a couple of months into the relationship.

what a pretty smile you have...

I was doing OK with reading her article till I read the following below. I call BS on that. We're all in this predicament because we eat/ate more than we burned. The reason we are losing the weight is because we've cut our calories drastically..and are eating less unhealthy choices..though she does mention that in her article and I have no disagreement there. But don't tell me we don't eat more than thin people...or that we are more sedentary...because we are, and we know it. no one has proven that fat people generally eat more or exercise less than thin people. Period.

I went to a play tonight with my sister and found myself sitting between her and another gal who was also a large lady. If I hadn't lost all the weight, I would have never fit between them...and all three of us would have been very uncomfortable. Even with my sister and this other lady spilling over into 'my space', I was fine. How many times can I say thank you for this band? How about every single time I fit somewhere that I used to not be able to.

Nope. Not gonna take that test. Can't give the kids any ammunition or I'll find myself a resident of 'Happy Acres' before I know what's happening...

Just read the article. Not sure that I agree with some of it. I think we see what we think we look like..whether it's weight, or something else. I had no idea I was a heavy as I was. Only when I saw pictures did I realize what I really looked like. Fast forward to me now and it's the same thing only reversed. I need to see pictures to really 'see' what I look like after losing 145 or so pounds. Oh, and I am always looking at my reflection, not because I'm obsessed..but because it helps me to see what I actually look like, and not what I think I look like. I've been in maintenance for about a year and a half and I still hold up the jeans or the dress and think that there's no way I'll fit in that small size. And this is after two years of therapy as well. I'm better but I'm not 'cured' of this...not by a longshot.

thanks for letting me know about some potential options for music in the Water. i'll check it out. the pool saved me...literally. I was on a cane and nearly immobile. the pool was the only place where I got any relief. I have permanent damage even though I'm able to walk and move almost normally these days. without the pool, I'd be very limited on what exercising I can do.

Amen!! For three years I worked full-time and got my master's degree part time. I was promoted twice during that time and increased my salary by 30%. I've lived abroad before. I've never NOT had a job since I was 16, and even babysat before when I was 13-15. I am a very hard worker, but no one acknowledges that. I drop a few pounds and all of a sudden people are now proud of me? WHAT IS THAT? It's like people don't see what I've done with my life because I have fat on my body. They don't/can't see the work it took to get the degree or the dedication it took to get those promotions. They can, however, see your body shrinking. That's why the results of this particular addiction is impossible to hide. If an alcoholic is standing beside you, do you know they are an addict? Likely not unless they are truly at the end of their rope. Same for a drug addict. But a food addict...well, everyone knows of our struggles because it's out there for all to see. For me...I'm still a food addict but because I'm normal sized now, no one is aware. Still means I'm an addict though. Always will be too.

Yes. Some of it is subtle and some not so subtle. Some of it is also my perception as I am more comfortable in my own skin these days. People judge...that's just the way it is. And people judge you negatively when you are obese. I was obese...and now that I'm not, I'm treated differently.

I spend time in the Water as well due to the musculoskeletal issues. I want to find out if I can buy a waterproof I-pod if there is such a thing.