gowalking

..all these names of folks who don't post much anymore...or who are just gone. Makes me a little sad..

I agree with the gender specific areas as well. I suspect most folks don't realize they are posting in the wrong area but if you are in the women's room or men's room specifically, you should not have to read posts from those of the opposite sex.

So sorry to hear your experience has been so poor with the band. I'm one of the ones who've done well with it. Glad to hear that you are revising to bypass. Am hoping you will be able to change the title of this post to 'My Story HAS a Happy Ending'. Good luck!

FYI...I just read that she wrote a book all about accepting yourself at any size and not being fat shamed. When you cry on camera because an incident upset you so much, you have NOT accepted yourself at any size. You just think you have.

I weigh myself nearly every morning. I'm not obsessive, it's just a way for me to keep on top of my intake as I'm in maintenance. So after a dinner out last night....and a couple of cocktails, I expected there might be a small gain today. I was more than a pound up from yesterday morning so I figured it was water as I know I didn't go to town foodwise. To my surprise, I felt the need to eliminate before even having breakfast which is unusual for me. After taking care of business..and knowing I got rid of more than expected, for the heck of it, I got back on the scale and suddenly that pound plus was less than a half pound gain. So when you get on the scale, know that if you made good choices, don't freak out if the scale doesn't do what you expect as you too, might be full of sh*t. Haha!

I'm so glad you had 39 years with him. I envy you... What can I say hon...it's a process and some days are better than others. There's no timeframe and you just need to go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it...whatever that may be. If you are sad, be sad. If you are having a good time, don't feel guilty..just go with it. If you've ever been to or seen a Jewish wedding, you know that the groom smashes a glass with his foot and then the guests all cry out 'Mazel Tov'. The broken glass represents the destruction of the temple which is and was the saddest thing that happened to the ancient Jews. We are commanded to always remember this, especially in the face of our happiest moments. I liken widowhood to that. No matter how happy or wonderful something is, there is just that reminder that you are experiencing this without him. Everything has a bittersweet note now. Alan is gone 22 years. I barely remember his voice yet I don't watch the videos because it's still hard to. I'm glad that you are going on vacation and have not retreated from the world. You will find your place again, and Bill's passing will eventually become part of the story of your life. As I said before, it's not about getting past this, or moving forward, or heaven forbid, getting over this. You never get over the death of a beloved spouse. You come to an acceptance. It happens over time and you don't suddenly realize it...you just know at some point that it's happened. Be good to yourself...take care of yourself, and always feel free to reach out to me if you want or need to. Liz.

How 'bout Lisa and Bandista? They would probably be interested as well.

Tag him and anyone else you are missing!! I can't remember everyone's exact names. We need MrPhoto, the biker guy, some of those darn aussies, etc. Tag them all! Hey...what am I, chopped liver?? LOL!

Hi Tiffany. So sorry for what you are going through. I can tell you that I had similar feelings when I got a breast cancer diagnosis. I didn't have to deal with loss of my reproductive future, but the future was similar to yours in one specific way. My tumor was ER+ which meant I had to go on anti-estrogen meds to stop the cancer from feeding on what estrogen I still had even as a post-menopausal woman. So I now have symptoms of menopause again...hot flashes, sweating, etc. and I also was told I might gain weight from taking the meds. I actually was more afraid of weight gain than cancer re-occurrence. I begged my oncologist to agree to let me go on without taking those meds as absurd as that sounds. I actually went into therapy after the diagnosis because I felt as though my body was betraying me so please consider if necessary, getting professional help to assist you while you are dealing with such a devastating situation. It's not a sign of weakness, but strength when you know you need help. Good luck to you dear and know that we are thinking of you here on the forum.

What Kindle and Ann said! I agree completely that as a pre-op, you are worried about everything because this is truly a new way of life for you. Relax...follow your doctor's instructions to the letter, and enjoy and reap the benefits of your surgery. As a veteran of WLS, I can't say enough how much better the quality of my life is now and how that takes precedence over anything I put in my mouth. Now it's true...like Kindle, I went into therapy to work on my food issues...the band was not enough to deal with the root of my issues as overeating is/was a symptom. I can't stress enough how the emotional part of the journey is just as important as the physical. Every time I see my reflection in the mirror, or take a step without pain, or squat down to play with my grandson, or make love, or plan a vacation, or buckle the seatbelt on a plane, I say a prayer of thanks for the gift of this wonderful tool I have that lets me lead the kind of life I was desperate for when I was obese and immobile. Congrats on your upcoming surgery. Don't sweat it...don't worry about every little thing, and enjoy the ride!

I've been wondering where Debbie is. She always posted and has been very quiet lately. I'm just hoping she's busy with other things...but I don't like that she just dropped off the forum. Anyone hear from her? Liz

As many of you know, I'm 3 1/2 years out from surgery. I've been in maintenance for about two years now. On Sunday, I'm going on a cruise with four generations of my family from my dad who is in his 80s to my grandson who is 14 months old. My dad has COPD, my mom is in a wheelchair. My sister is obese. They're involvement with chasing him around will be minimal. I am normal sized, mobile and healthy. I expect to be all over that ship with my grandson who has taken to walking like a duck to Water. I still remember one cruise I took about six months before the surgery where I was in so much pain, I was crying by the time I made it from my room to the dining room. I couldn't get off the ship onto the tender because I couldn't balance myself. I never ever ever want to go back to those dark days. Everytime I want an extra bite of something, or just to eat something that is not a good choice, I remember how those days felt. Usually, that's all I need as long as my band is filled properly. So...today I write this and for all vets and newbies, just know that the weight loss is just a number. The important thing is to live life as it's supposed to be lived...and not sit on the sidelines because you can't do what you want because your body won't let you. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I'm packing tonight and can't wait to sail away!

Like anything else, dating has its ups and downs. I didn't date after my second marriage ended in 2003. I focused on my kids, my job, my friends. Then I got seriously overweight and over time, had mobility issues. I actually started dating again about two years ago and was in a relationship for nearly a year. When it was good, it was really good, but when it ended, it was very hard. What I have learned this time around, is that I don't have to divulge my WLS or my former size unless I feel like it. At my age, the loose skin is not all that terrible and most guys in their 50s and 60s are so happy to have the possibility of an intimate relationship that they are not holding out for a taught lean 20 something. The challenge is finding someone who I can connect with on an intellectual level and with similar interests to mine. I don't mean to sound stuck up but I prefer walking through a museum rather than walking the beach. Unless that beach happens to be on an island in the Pacific of course...

Just think of it as a lesson learned Sharon. I bet you don't do that again...

I went from an 8 1/2 wide to a 7 regular. Had to change out my shoes twice because I couldn't imagine losing a whole size and a half.

I love how my collarbones show now and how narrow I think I look shoulder to shoulder.

Just an update friends. It was a wonderful trip. I was 127 lbs. the morning of the cruise and 129.2 this morning. Just a smidge over two pounds gained over the trip. I'll take it. Here's the real success story though..a happy grandma enjoying and interacting with the grandchildren. My granddaughter likely remembers the old me, but she simply reacts to the woman I am now. The baby, if I'm lucky, will only know the grandma he is familiar with now.

I know Crystal Run well. Used to live in Blooming Grove. Had my surgery in NYC though as I live there now.

Julie...Sharpie. Hang in there ladies. Some days are harder than others. I know...today would have been our 39th wedding anniversary. He's gone longer than we were married but I never forget this day...nor does my sister, bless her.

Oh yeah...this was nothing and I'm already moving on. What hurts are the ones you connect with and it doesn't work out. This guy was a couple of nice conversations and no further investment. More important is what I got out of it...I know I don't feel obligated in any way to disclose my weight loss surgery. That's what really matters. Liz

Hi Pam...he turned out to be not a keeper. He expected dinner would lead to something else and when I didn't offer, he decided to move on. Gotta kiss alot of frogs.....

A baby carriage. They call it a pram in the UK.

I was banded almost 3 1/2 years ago. I'm still cold. I have a heater in my office even though it's 'contraband'. I just bought a fur lined raincoat for next winter. Seriously. I wear a wetsuit in the pool at my Y because the Water is too cold for me. I wear flannel PJs and socks to bed in the winter...and still use a heavy comforter. It is what it is. Better to be cold than unhealthy.

oh, it's real early yet Pam. will have to wait and see. You need a thick skin to date. I'm still working on it.

I went last year along with Lisa..my co-leader from the face to face support group we run. Alex was supposed to attend but had a last minute conflict. You can check with him if he's going this year. I'm not but Lisa and her husband I think are going again. You don't have to stay overnight...you can buy a one day ticket.