gowalking

Kudos to you for not calling her out on any of this. As others have said, she just isn't ready yet. We've all been mortified over something regarding our size and yet, not all of us had that aha moment at that time. If/when she's ready, be there for her. My beloved sister..my best friend...is morbidly obese as I had been. I desperately want her to be healthy. She is a heart attack waiting to happen and I'm saddened beyond belief to think that I might not grow old with her. I say nothing as she eats herself silly. Calling her out will only make her avoid me and I can't have that. So I wait patiently hoping that she changes things up before I have to bury her. We need to be compassionate...and not judgmental as many of us have 'been there, got the tee shirt'.

Doing a happy dance! You go girl!!

I'm exactly five feet tall. I used to be an extra 1/2 inch taller but no more. So..I understand being 'vertically challenged' and also used to think that a few extra inches of height would help me in terms of being excessivly large. Now that I am normal sized, I see that thinking same as wishing I had won the lottery. Not gonna happen. And being taller would not make my weight issues any easier. Fat is fat and I would have been obese at any height. I simply ate more than I burned. Turns out that I am simply a petite woman. I may not be able to take items off the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets without a step stool, but I fit into almost any space with no issues...and for every man who says I'm too petite for them, ten like a smaller woman. It makes them feel more masculine. This is not a judgement mind you...merely an observation. Here it is in a nutshell. As long as I'm a normal weight, my height is a non issue. Yes...I have to likely eat even less than someone who has six more inches than me, but like one of the posters said, BMI is not the be all end all. It's just one indicator that the medical community uses to determine overall health.

Same here. I not only didn't know if I could do this thing and be successful...I expected to fail. My eating had been so out of control for so long, I couldn't imagine getting through a day without eating to excess. It was very much like when I was on medication to stop smoking. I didn't expect that to work either as I enjoyed smoking. Well...I've been smoke free for ten years and don't expect to ever go back. Same for being normal sized. Not because I'm not tempted..but because my tool helps me usually make good choices. I say usually because as a food addict, I am always tempted.

Over time, as we gain weight, we adapt without even realizing and we're not even aware until we don't fit somewhere or it becomes hard to maneuver, or clothes are too small..or we see a picture of ourselves and it becomes clear how large we have become. So it doesn't surprise me that the opposite can occur both as we lose weight, or even when we have been at goal for a time. I am maintaining for about two years now. I know that's a short time in some ways, but at least I've been this size for a couple of years now and I thought I was pretty much used to being considerably smaller. Yet only yesterday as I was waiting for the light to change so I could continue walking to the train station, I was suddenly aware that I was standing still and not trying to 'fix' my top. What I mean is that for so many years, I was always trying to smooth down my clothing as it would bunch and twist as I'd walk or because my pocketbook was in the way...or whatever. I just know that I was so large that anything that made me look 'sloppy' was something I wanted to avoid. These days, my tops are not long as I don't feel the need to cover the belly. The clothes are not loose on me as I'm not trying to hide my size anymore. It just popped into my head at that moment standing patiently at the curb, that I'm not fussing like I used to. If the shirt is riding up a bit, so what? Anyway...like the title says, this was just a random observation I had. Most of the time I've gotten used to the new size I am but even now, once in a while, I'm reminded how much lighter I am, and I feel. I can't even imagine these days how hard it is and used to be to carry around an extra 140 lbs. on my body.

54 267 140

nice to see there are still folks being banded. I know it gets a bad rap but I've been extremely successful with it and at least I didn't do a more aggressive surgery...which I preferred not to do. Good luck ladies!

I needed a passport to go to Canada so I'd suggest better to have one than not. Getting one is easy. You can download the form online and almost any bigt box store can do your passport photo. Just as an aside..my passport photo is from 2010 and believe me...the officers at the border always have to take a long look as the picture no longer looks like me. I went to London last summer and it was my first trip oversees since I lost the weight and oh boy, do I look different.

Congrats! You've just doubled your dating pool.

After losing 100 lbs. I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back at me. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist with experience working with weight loss patients and I've been seeing her for over two years now working on getting to the heart of my issues. As many know, the weight is a symptom of whatever our issues are. It took me such a long time to even acknowledge that for me, being fat meant I could hide the things that hurt me. Now that there's no fat to hide behind, I'm having to face those issues head on and learn how to deal with them. It's very much a work in progress so know that what you are going through, many others have gone through as well. In my opinion, there's no way we can change our outside so drastically without changing what made us so self destructive in the first place. If you find that you are having difficulties with all the changes, don't hesitate to speak with a professional. If you are getting the help and support you need from your husband and other loved ones, you may be able to identify your new self with time alone.

I missed the bacon thread. Probably skipped it because I knew what it would be about. I'm not here to help those who don't want it. I am here to help those who are terrified of the new life they are starting because I was in those shoes back in December 2012 as I waited to get my lap band. I expected to fail and eat myself to death. Instead I've gotten my life back and am grateful every day to those vets on these boards who helped me in a way that no one in the surgeon's office possibly could. I won't let stupid win and I hope you reconsider @Kindle. As you can see by the posts, there are more like us than those who look to fail. Please don't go. Liz

You're right. Being a grownup sucks. I was reminiscing with a college friend several months ago about how much fun we had when we were young and stupid. I remember telling her it's too bad we had to grow up because now I know too much to ever be happy again. I know your story and how much loss you have endured. You may never find 'big happy' again so try to look for 'little happy' moments instead. Appreciate a beautiful sunset...give thanks for a good day even if it's just an ordinary one. Ordinary is good when one experiences so much tragedy. Hold a baby. Smile at something that strikes you as funny. Do something that makes you feel good even if it's indulgent. Especially if it's indulgent. One step at a time my dear...one step at a time.

oh sure. especially when they put the IV in. it's not just a needle..it's a whole to do with IVs and taping everything down. but like I said...it's not a big deal in the end.

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

I had the chemical stress test Joe. I had terrible joint pain and couldn't walk the treadmill fast enough to get my heart rate up. It's an odd feeling because you get the injection and your heart starts to pound, but there's no pain and it eases up fairly quickly. Nothing to worry about, I assure you.

I watched that episode and I'm thinking this is how the show gets people hooked so they watch. Everyone is waiting for her to have that aha moment and I think she's had it but knows that people won't watch her getting thinner/healthier. They would rather watch her continue the denial she's in and just stay fat. I don't think she has much of a choice if she wants to stay on TV. Watch the way her folks approach her weight issues. Especially dad. He keeps talking to the 'audience' about how she doesn't change anything up and she needs to, but it never goes anywhere. They show her eating tuna and noodles which any of us knows is not a good choice. I'm pretty certain Whitney knows it's not a good choice either. I really am thinking this whole program is about fat shaming and while Whitney may think she's empowered, she's not. Whoever is paying her to stay fat....and they are....have the power. She surely does not.

I know you said money is a bit tight, but do something indulgent for yourself. Maybe a mani/pedi or a massage if the cost is not too dear. How about a book you've wanted to read or a movie you may have wanted to see for a while. Why not binge watch a show you've been meaning to see. It's just about doing something that makes you feel special.

Congratulations! Can I just tell you how much I like your forum name. High functioning fat man. Spectacular.

Keep me posted on what the tests say, OK?

Oh Lisa...crap, crap, and more crap. I'm so sorry to hear of this detour. I really hope that it can be resolved quickly and you can get back to 'normal'. What about Ken? Is he having any issues as well or no? Are you OK with the practice you have now that Geiss is retired? Any possibility of needing (or wanting) a revision to another type of surgery? I know how hard you work to be successful and I'd hate for something to mess that up.

I too have and am going through body dysmorphia. I did not realize till I looked at pictures of myself, just how large I was. Nor did I recognize the thin woman I became. I was and still am, in therapy for issues related to self image. I will tell you honestly that the only reason I know both pictures are you is because you posted them both. There has been a massive change in you likely on this inside as well as the outside. I know there are lots of folks who say nothing has changed but the shape of their bodies. I believe that. I also believe there are plenty of people like you and I who do not recognize the changes. My sister thinks I've gotten vain. I have not. I take alot of pictures so I can reinforce how I look in reality instead of just in my head. And so you don't think I'm talking out my a**, here are some of my before and after shots. I don't think it looks like the same person either...

'significant others' will often go for the soft spot when in the midst of an argument, or breaking up...or just wanting to lash out. Just know that if something else about yourself was an issue, he would have gone for that as well. If I was your age, I'd have done plastics as well. I opted not to because the skin sag is not horrible in that it doesn't interfere with my normal activities plus I've had children and I'm nearly 58 years old. Oh..and one more thing. Men my age I have found, are just so happy to be getting 'some' that they couldn't care less about some sags and scars. Besides..they have also passed their 'sell by' date as well. Good luck! Send us post plastic pics so we can see how great the results turned out.

Hello all! I recently went to a seminar for the sleeve and have my consultation with the DR in june. I really wanted the sleeve but my insurance will only cover the lapband, so I am going to go with that. I am 400lbs. I am young but have high cholesterol, high bp (controlled with meds) arrythmia (cardiologist cleared me for surgery) and am risk of heart disease. so it needs to happen. I have been seeing a dietitian and have done many diets. I lose a little bit and thats it. I am concerned it will not help me to lose enough weight to get to where I want to be (180) Anyone in here around my weight and get down to that goal weight? Any pros/cons you can share with me? I am excited to get it done already!! Look at my stats. I was morbidly obese...only five feet tall and 267 lbs. My PCP said I'd only lose 40 lbs. with the band but I went ahead with it anyway because I didn't want my insides messed around with nor did I want my stomach cut out. I didn't lose 40 lbs. I lost 140 lbs. I am 127 lbs. now and have been for two years or so. Don't presume you can't lose alot of weight if you have the band. Good luck with whatever surgery you get.

Welcome back! Missed your posts as well and would love to discuss politics..or anything else for that matter.

After staying away from dating for many many years due to obesity and mobility issues, I started dating again about two years ago. I went out with a few men....and even had a steady beau for about nine months. We recently ended our relationship and I'm 'back on the market' again. I have been out with one guy a couple of times now and I think we will continue to date. We went for dinner last night and I realized when I was looking at the menu, that I was going to approach this differently than I had in the past. With my surgery nearly 3 1/2 years ago, the scars have faded, the lapband port has been moved under my abdominal muscle so it no longer sticks out, and I alway pay attention to the signs that tell me to slow down and chew better. So I asked my date if he was OK with sharing as I was a light eater. He was fine with it...we still ordered too much..lol, and I still had leftovers. At the end of the meal, I explained, though I didn't have to, that I have inflammatory disease (which I do) and that I've had both hips replaced. As such, I told him I need to be vigilant regarding my size and the smaller I am, the better as the less weight on the joints, the better. After complimenting me on lovely hips, replaced or not, he started to tell me how he felt good at 175 and was trying to lose another 15 or so lbs. to get there. I understood that he was telling me that he knows what weight is good for him and knows why I do the same. More importantly, I did not feel any need to bring up my WLS. Not last night...and possibly not for a long time, if ever. I'm fairly certain this is what people who have normal relationships with food feel like. They know the weight that works best for them, and do what they need to in order to stay around that size. I also know that if this relationship continues and we become physically closer, I don't have to tell him anymore than I have already shared. To me, this tells me that I am more than my weight loss surgery and journey and that I am one more step closer to normal and not the former fat girl who is 'passing' as slender. This is a big mind shift for me as I embrace the current me more and more and leave the fat girl in my past. I'll never forget...because forgetting means risking all I have gained. But to put it behind me is a really good thing. Oh, and for the loose skin issue...I'm 57 and have had children. Between those two things, some loose skin is not a deal breaker. I found that out with the last boyfriend. He had no issues with my body and I realized most men who are around my age are just so happy to be intimate, that they don't care, and are not looking for perfection anyway. Just something for you folks with loose skin issues to think about.