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KAATNS reacted to beanie80 for a blog entry, The big break up
My surgery is scheduled for June 26th 2013 at 10:15am. I have contemplated lap band for over 2 years and just within the past year decided to do it. Sometimes I still think to myself "do I really need this? am I being crazy? I'm not THAT fat", but then I look in the mirror, look at the numbers on the scale or see someone in public looking at me funny and I realize that I am THAT fat and I need help.
I had my first appointment with the surgeon on April 18th, 2013. Since then I have been eating like my life depends on it! Trying to get in everything I won't be eating after surgery. I know, I know, I'll be able to eat all the same things, just smaller portions (eventually), but I'm a food addict. Like an alcoholic can't have just one drink, I can't have just one bite. So for the last 2 months I've been eating like a glutton. I'm happy to say though, that over the last week I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to eat certain foods anymore. I've stopped the binge eating and am getting excited for my surgery. I've cut back my calories, started changing my eating habits by taking in more protein and not drinking when eating.
I said goodbye to binge eating, my social and emotional crutch, the most damaging relationship I've ever been in, and we broke up. Like many break ups I know it will be hard, and there will be slip ups, but I'm ready to start a new life with a new love, me.
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KAATNS reacted to krg75 for a blog entry, So Many Victories
HI all, it has been forever since I have been on this site. Got lots of reasons/and or excuses, but I am back regardless.
First of all I have had my 2nd fill since I checked in last. I now have 4 cc's in my band. For the most part I am doing terrific with it. I am down to 272 pounds. That is a 54 pound weight loss since mid January. I am so happy, so very, very, very happy!! I have lost 42 pounds since my surgery March 18th. In losing all that weight I have gain oh so very much. I have super confidence, I have more energy, and I have such a different outlook on life. I was in a size 26...sometimes a 28 jean. Now, I am PROUDLY ROCKING a size 20!!! Flipping size 20!!!! OMG!!!! The difference is amazing. Both to me and my family and friends.
I went shopping this last weekend and bought something I never thought I ever would. See, I have been with the same man for 17 years...well..17 in July. We are not married, have thought about it, just never have done it. Well, he PROPOSED to me a month ago. I AM GETTING MARRIED!!! YES ITS EXCITING!! HAHA.
So, I went and tried on wedding dresses, just to see if I could even bear the thought of wearing one...I love dresses, just not on me, they do nothing to hide fat!!! lol. So there I was trying on wedding dresses and I was so surprised to be LOVING IT!! I was going to get one with sleeves, because as with all of us, my arms are a big issue. But I fell in love with this strapless-halter type dress. AND I BOUGHT IT!!!. I figured that it doesnt matter about those arms, see, I fell in love with ME again. I felt beautiful in all of those dresses. That was something I had never expected. NEVER. I cannot wait to ROCK that wedding dress come September!!!
So yes my weight loss is fantastic, wonderful, exciting, and all of those other adjectives. But, what is even better, is that I have found me again. I have found the confident, out-going, smiling former image of myself. I still have a ways to go and I am not quiting until I am there. Everyday I have something to look forward to. Everyday I am happy when I wake up and feel so excited with my new life.
Well thats it. This is my life. Go me!!!
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, 15th Anniversary
15 years ago today, I proposed to my best friend and she said yes. 2 dozen roses just got delivered, now I need to think something really special for next month and the marriage anniversary.
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KAATNS reacted to ♕ajtexas♕ for a blog entry, My Barrier
I have thought about writing this blog all day long. Part of me says don’t write it, you are a success and you don’t want people thinking you slip up and fail. The other part of me says write this, maybe this will tell others that this journey is not easy and even after reaching goal & being declared a success you still struggle…
‘The other part’ won, so here goes….
I have always been called strong, never showing my weakness or emotions. It is a skill I learned early in life, build a protective barrier around you so no one can know how you feel or hurt you. The way I coped with this barrier was with food, it got me to 250 pounds….
When I started my weight loss journey I recognized this habit. That being said doesn’t mean that the habit went away or that it doesn’t get the best of me still.
Over the last couple of weeks I have experienced events in my life that caused me to retreat to my protected barrier and to comfort myself with junk food (ice cream, etc…).
Now, those closest to me know me well enough to see through the barrier and last night my husband did just that. He asked what was going on and I caved, I told him everything that was causing my stress, my work, my friends, and the whole lot. I had a good cry and we talked about how I could try and cope with things. I also confessed the eating that I had done and do you know what he did? He said, “Well trash is picked up tomorrow morning” and went into the kitchen, threw away all the trigger foods that I had mentioned. When he came back in he said to me, “You are worth so much more than any of that junk food. From now on there will be no junk in this house.” God, I love this man. I am so lucky to have such great family support.
Then, this morning one of my most dear friends asked me what was up. And again I caved and told her everything. Know what she said? “Done now….back on track” and then she said, “It is what it is; pull up those panties, put on those heels and work it!” Thanks princess, I needed to hear that. I am so lucky to have such great friends supporting me.
I know I can do this and I will do this for the rest of my life. I will have days and times where I stumble and fall. But, I will get myself up, brush myself off and keep going. Because I WANT this!
I guess what I am trying to say is that even the success stories (the veterans) make mistakes, have bad days, and go backwards. The important thing is to identify the problem and find a solution. Then get your ass back on track.
Thant is exactly what I am doing.
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS got a reaction from TheCurvyMermaid for a blog entry, Get Off The Scale!
"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, If at first you don't succeed...
Try something else. I am tired of my scale plateau, so on Missy's recommendation I am going to try carb cycling for a week or so to try and break it. So Missy if it doesn't work, I am holding you personally responsible
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, I want my drugs...
It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.
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KAATNS reacted to Shelleymb for a blog entry, My day.... WITH PICTURES!!
I don't even know how to begin to describe my day... it's been a pretty good one. How about I just walk you through it.
4:20am: My alarm goes off informing me that I have 5 minutes to get out of bed. "Don't tell me how to live my life alarm... I do me." I spend the next 4 minutes contemplating skipping the gym since I have been working so hard lately. I deserve a break right?
4:24am: I check my daily horoscope.
4:25am: So I get up, realizing the only that is holding me back from success is me. The only thing that has held me back for the last 20+ years has always been me. I am my own maker. So I get out of bed and head to the bathroom.
4:27am: I pull out the scale. I know that I shouldn't be doing this, that I should wait. But on Sunday I weighed myself after a 4 day weekend from work and knew that I could have done better and weighed myself at my parent's house and saw that I had gained 3 pounds. No sirree! This is a one way express to the new me, so I decided there and then it was go time. That I was failing my band when all it was trying to do was fulfill its destiny. To save my life. So now I've decided to weigh myself at least once a week to make sure I'm at least heading in the right direction. So this morning when I got on the scale... what did I see you may ask?? Pa dow! That's what I saw.
Under 260! Haven't seen that in about a year and a half!
4:28am: Run screaming from the bathroom and jump onto Ty who is completely asleep. Tell him the news and watch him have an internal struggle of trying to show happiness for me and not punch me in the face for screaming and jumping on him at 4:30 in the morning.
5:00am: Get to the gym and jump on the treadmill. I chose the treadmill because I am doing a 30 day fitness photo challenge on instagram (Follow me! Shell_LB) and today's picture is supposed to be of "Calories Burned" So away I went.
5:42am: Then this happen....
FML right? What are ya gonna do? Fast forward to talking to my best friend who moved 3000 miles away from me to get married. Boo. She is having trouble get motivated to work out and eat right, so I just told her what I was doing. And how it is so helpful. All the journaling, food logs, counting, working out. ACCOUNTABLITY. This is part of conversation.
Welcome to my life...
And now I am at work... blogging.... I should win employee of the year!
After work (hour and a halfish) I'm going to Costco for a few things, then River fitness Boot Camp. Gotta get that booty in shape. My Goal is 250 by the end of June... I may need to come up with a new goal. ;D
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, Be Honest with yourself...
I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how, but early on in my life I learned to lie to myself about many things, but most importantly about what I ate. It is one of the things that I am having to unlearn in order for my band to work for me.
Today, even though I ate less than anyone at the table, I over ate and I'm not ashamed, I'm not guilty. I made a choice, and went past my soft stop. Yes I was uncomfortable. No, I didn't PB or vomit. No I didn't stretch my pouch or cause my band to slip.
But the important part, I am not going to lie to myself about what I did. I am going to log the calories (as best I can), I am going to eat lightly tonight (protein shake) and I am going to go back to my normal eating pattern because if I eat like I did today on a regular basis I won't lose any more weight.
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, Let the tweaks begin....
Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.
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KAATNS reacted to Terry Poperszky for a blog entry, No more fills for me....
For now anyhow, had my second appointment were we decided that I didn't need a fill. Steady weight loss (Of course not as fast as I would like), 3-4 hours of satiety (Depending on if I stay away from simple carbs and focus on protein). Can pretty much eat anything, but have to be careful and have had a few stuck episodes in the last month when I wasn't.
It is kind of a bittersweet place to be, the green zone is this magical fairy land that is held out to us from the time we are banded, and yet here I am. I still wrestle with eating too fast, I still am plagued by head hunger, I still have to exercise, I still have weight to lose, I still get plateaued.
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU MEAN I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT MY WEIGHT LOSS, I THOUGHT THE BAND WAS MAGIC!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!
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KAATNS reacted to ♕ajtexas♕ for a blog entry, I love Hummus!
And it is very easy to make. Here is my favorite recipe
Roasted Red Pepper Hummus
1 Can chickpea/garbonza beans (15oz)
1/3 cup tahini (See note below)
¼ cup lemon juice
2 Tbs olive oil
2 garlic cloves, crushed
½ - ¾ cup roasted red peppers
In a food processor, combine beans, tahini, lemon juice and olive oil. Process until smooth. Add red peppers and garlic until desired consistency.
I calculated the nutritional information based on ¼ cup serving:
Calories 154
Total Fat 11g
Sodium 190mg
Total Carbs 8.4g
Dietary fiber 3.2g
Sugars .9g
Protein 5.1g
Tahini is sesame seed butter. I find it with the peanut butter or in the international isle of the grocery store.
Enjoy!