kca1fan

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks with my band, my Husband comments on my loss everyday and my kids do regularly which feels great!
My husband was saying a few days ago "your butt is getting smaller" after telling me several times over a few days I start thinking, maybe it really is getting smaller, so I say to my son (he is 7 and the youngest of 4 kids, he being the only boy and his sisters are all teenagers, so he is used to these questions and usually puts in his 2 cents whether he's asked or not) Is my butt smaller or is dad just being nice? You can tell the pressures on...
 
"uum, um," and his eyebrows are pulled together in thought, what to do, what to do??? he finally says "I think it's smaller?"
I laugh cause he's obviously trying to get this right and I ask "is it really smaller or are you just being nice?"
his confidence must kick in now cause he sits up a little straighter and says "I think it's smaller yeah, yeah, it's smaller"
 
so there you have it, either my family is being sweet or it's smaller.
 
I've been really lucky, I didn't have to get a fill when I went in a few days ago, I'm never hungry and have to remember to eat, I don't have many cravings and haven't had a problem with wanting to over eat. i'm losing about 15 lbs. a month or 1/2-1 lbs. a day. I'm enjoying it now cause I know any day it will slow down and I'll have to really start working for it. I am noticing inches and my clothes are getting to big, today..right now, I love my band, we seem to be working together very well!
 
My husband says if you could do it again would you. well right now yes, but like so many others I worry that I will lose 35 lbs and it will just stop, it's scary to think that I paid $10,000.00 to lose 30 or 40 lbs (I was self pay)
and then he says...
we need to get a bag going for you so every time you put something on that no longer fits (which is starting to happen !!!!) you can put it in it and get rid of it you'll never need it again.
I gasp, he doesn't know but inside I think wait, what if I gain my weight back I'll need clothes....
 
Wow, why is this so scary, it's fun I'm losing weight I've only just started this journey... and I know some people return to bad habits ad gain there weight back, I'm familiar with plateau's and sure I will have my share, but since when have I been so weak to not be able to control myself??? not so long ago. or I wouldn't be where I am today.
 
The band helps the belly not the brain.
But you know my family has made lifestyle changes we eat better, we only buy healthy things my husband has lost 22 lbs and my teenagers all lost between between 5-9 lbs (all have and had healthy bmi's) but none of them have the band, we are making our life so that I and all of us know how to eat and live better. so I'm going to stick to it. worry about today and eat right so I'll be ready for tomorrow and then I'll repeat.
 
this plan should work... NO NO It will work!

I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how, but early on in my life I learned to lie to myself about many things, but most importantly about what I ate. It is one of the things that I am having to unlearn in order for my band to work for me.
 
Today, even though I ate less than anyone at the table, I over ate and I'm not ashamed, I'm not guilty. I made a choice, and went past my soft stop. Yes I was uncomfortable. No, I didn't PB or vomit. No I didn't stretch my pouch or cause my band to slip.
 
But the important part, I am not going to lie to myself about what I did. I am going to log the calories (as best I can), I am going to eat lightly tonight (protein shake) and I am going to go back to my normal eating pattern because if I eat like I did today on a regular basis I won't lose any more weight.

The last week I have been BUSY!!! I spent most of last week in classes to learn about the new software system we are switching over to this summer. This was a very technical class, that left my brain in mush mode by night.
 
In an effort not to back track on my success I opted to take a page from Carolina Girls book. I made my little cups of chicken salad (chicken, apples, grapes and pecan) were fixed in my fridge. I also had more apples and grapes in there, along with the staple of weight watchers cheese sticks. Each morning I would pack my little bag and take it with me to class. Taking my lunch allowed me to stay in during lunch and play with the training database more and talk to the teacher to get more info. The great thing I found by doing this is it works!! I stuck to my portion size and found that I didn't get hungry, I never felt bloted or bad.
 
So this week rather than chicken salad I make homemade fresh tuna salad for my lunches. Again this is great and keeps me from just grabing anything for lunch. So I have to say thanks to Carolina Girl for putting out there what works for her.
 
Unlike, CG, I can't do carbless. As she said that is her choice, but I have always been a carb aholic so I know long term carbless wouldn't work for me. So in an effort to do better, I have opted to go carbless for one meal a day.
 
On my fidge is a list, each day with what I will do for breakfast and what I will cook for dinner. This way I can plan, get fresh groceries, and make sure one carbless meal gets in a day. My fresh veggies and fruit also don't spoil this way. In my fridge I have the shelf that is at my eye level full of my fruits and veggies and healthy options- this helps me make good choices.
 
Now if I can manage to kick it to the next level and get back into a regular work out routine rather than the sporatic one I have been one of late.
 
A bit of advice for newbies and oldies.... read what works for others, pull some of it and try it, see what works for you. We are all different, but by putting what works for us out there we might help others so talk, read, learn!!

Yep... I'm feeling majorly guilty today... yes.. I just finished working out.. I should be happy right? Burned over 500 calories - BUT that doesn't make up for the fact that I was extremely out of control this weekend.. blah... totally didn't follow my eating plan. Granted, I had a wonderful time.. but honestly these 'relapses' aren't going to help me with my goals... I wasn't logging my food and after doing it this morning I so went over my caloric limit on BOTH Saturday and Sunday... of course I did work out on Saturday - so I don't feel so badly about that.. but I am pretty disappointed in my inability to resist temptation...
 
I have known for a long time that I am addicted to food - especially GOOD food.. and in addition to that - I am also an emotional eater. Face it. I love to eat. But I also know that THIS behavior is also the behavior that got me to 495lbs the first time... so alas - though I made some really poor choices this weekend, looking on the bright side of things? I did get up this morning and kicked butt during my workout.. that's something right?
 
So I take it one day at a time... and make a personal vow to make good choices in my eating and drinking - TODAY... because I can't do anything about what I did this weekend.. so I move past it...

My initial loss with my band was amazing (and a little scary), but the joy of seeing pounds dropping off on a daily basis was truly fantastic. As I was looking at my weight this morning, I noticed that I had only lost 5 pounds during the month of April and was tempted toward the negative by comparing my loss with what I did when I was first banded.
 
Then I started to think about my bike ride on Sunday, 28 miles, 23 miles two days before, Both at speeds that it took me 5 months of work up to last year to be able to sustain for 15 miles.
I thought about my spin class and the progress I have made during it, where I had to stop and rest halfway through when I first started.
I thought about the fact that it is time to go shopping for clothes again because my pants are starting to bunch at the waist when I tighten my belt enough to hold them up.
I thought about the fact that I am down to one belt because I haven't punched holes in the other two.
I thought about the fact that the fat percentage on my scale hit a new low number this morning.
I thought about all the weight that I lost on WW, and how 5 pounds in a month would have been a cause for celebration.
 
Yup, the low hanging fruit of my band journey is all gone, but that's ok I burn more calories when I have to climb the branches to reach the higher fruit.
 
Father God, please help me to remain thankful for all that you have given me instead of focusing on what I don't have...

Today was a decent day. I had a very good cheer practice today, and one of my coaches pointed out my weight loss. She is also trying to lose weight but she is not nearly as big as me. She goes "Jess if you get skinner than me fast I'm going to be so mad! You look great!" It made me feel good because not a lot of people have noticed my loss. I stepped on the scale this morning to see that i lost another couple pounds, which was very exciting. I am still struggling to see the loss, I look hard, but I don't notice it or feel it much. I don't see how I don't see it though because today I wore a cheer shirt that is a size large! That's big for me. It's not as big as the shirts I usually wear to practice but it definetly was not tight. It feels good to be able to fit into things that you've been waiting to fit in. I don't see any change in my normal clothes but I have been in my cheer clothes. I used to wear 2XL shirts to practice and now I feel as if I've been swimming in them. I started to whip out the XL and they're comfortable, and now I suppose I'm working on the larges, that's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there. I have faith.

It's been a long while since I have posted, and I'm just sitting here planning my new life and figured I would check in with the few people who read my blog. I hope everyone is doing well and losing what they are working so hard for. I don't actually know what I have lost or gained lately because I decided to stop weighing myself. I was becoming obsessed and making myself sick when I would "plateau" for a day or two. Which I know is normal, especially since I'm not even a month out from surgery. So I haven't gotten on my scale in over a week I think. Which is kinda nice actually, the first 2 days were pretty hard, but now it's nice not worrying about it and knowing that on the 25th I'll know.
 
The 25th is my fill date. I know that I'm going to need the fill, because as of right now when I eat my cup of food it only keeps me full for 2 hours, 3 if I push through the hunger pains. So I am eagerly waiting for my appointment to get a fill, if I wasn't such a wuss I would go sooner, but I need Ty to go with me because I'm scared for some reason, and the 25th is when he has his last two appointments.
 
So I joined the YMCA last night, because our stupid government is broke and the base pool is going to be closed until sometime next year. And I just want to swim! And at the Y I can take Zumba classes. which I love. But if the government wasn't broke-dizzle then I wouldn't have to be spending 40 a month to swim. Which in retrospect isn't that bad since when I swam on a club team it was over a hundred dollars a month for me to swim.
 
So on the topic of swimming, I have created a challenge for myself. I have found a website www.100swimmingworkouts.com that has..yup! you guessed it, 100 swim workouts to do. They start out for beginners with nothing over 1000 yards and builds up to swimming 2 miles by the end of the 100 work outs. I am waiting on a phone call from either my surgeon or nurse to tell me when I am cleared to swim. And when they give me the ok, I am giving myself 6 months to complete the 100 workouts. I am hoping to build up to swimming 5 times a week, which would mean that I would only really need 5 months, but hey, I'm human. I'm giving myself a month buffer incase I skip or miss a workout.
 
If anyone is interested in doing this with me, let me know. I would love to have a motivating companion that I can help motivate right back. I have always loved swimming, and it is one of the healthiest things that I have ever done that I loved as much as food. So I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping I won't be a complete mess when I first jump into the pool.
 
Well that's pretty much it for now. Love to hear from anyone with help or a simple hello!
Happy losing everyone!
Shelley

Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time.
 
I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this
beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's
see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.)
 
I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together!
 
As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

Let me just say that I don't like Head Hunger. There is such a difference in real hunger vs. head hunger. Sadly, it has taken me more than a year after being banded and a lifetime to learn the difference.
 
Since I was very young, I've fought the fat fight. I became a dieting expert....I was the professional at it. I'd loose 10 lb. then gain 20 lb., loose 20 lb. then gain 30 lb., loose 30 lb. then gain 50 lb. Well, you get the idea. I did this until I became a whopping 80-85 lb. overweight expert. It has taken me my lifetime to realize that my stomach isn't hungry....it's my head....it's my psyche.
 
Now that I've learned that, I'm learning how to be an overcomer and a success. During the discovery of this revelation, I've lost 45 lb. I still have 40+ to loose. But, that's not even the best of it....it's getting my psyche under control. I'm on my way at 45 lbs. lighter. Not bragging, just grateful.

I post this here so I can refer back to it often.
 
1) Where you are in life isn’t a measure of your full potential. It’s a measure of how you’ve played life’s cards SO FAR.
 
2) It’s never too late to play your hand a different way.
 
3) If you challenge YOURSELF every day, you’ll have more experience when LIFE challenges YOU.
 
4) Just like muscles need to be broken down to get stronger, sometimes we need to be broken down mentally and
emotionally to get stronger in their respective senses as well.
 
5) Sometimes the people that you thought were good in your life were actually the people stepping on your head.
 
6) Surrounding yourself with positive and uplifting people, thoughts, pictures, quotes, experiences, etc. is the way to
FEEL like you are living a positive and uplifting life. The same is true for the opposite.
 
7) HUGE personal successes start with a LOT of smaller efforts that build a solid foundation for that success.
 
8) When you don’t believe in yourself, other people don’t believe in you either. When you DO believe in yourself, people
get blown away by everything you accomplish.
 
9) Some of the same people that see you turn your life around for the better will try to bring you back down to their level
in order to feel good at the level they are STILL at.
 
10) When those people start to succeed in bringing you down, FIGHT HARDER! KEEP your goals, and know that you
STILL have MORE potential to unleash!
 
11) NEVER GIVE UP! When you give up, you are saying, “I’m not worth it.”
 
12) KNOW that you ARE worth it!
 
13) Life isn’t easy or fair. The people that fare the best are the ones that adapt in difficult situations. Teach yourself to
adapt! Get creative!
 
14) The same routine yields the same results. If you’re unhappy, CHANGE something.
15) Patience!
16) “When you were in high school, college, etc…” < Stop living in the past! Live in the present!
 
17) Stop making excuses! Admit you’re flawed like the rest of the world, and figure out a way to be the BEST version of
yourself.
 
18) The best version of YOURSELF? What is that? Figure it out. Experiment. Stop looking to others for easy answers to
YOUR complicated personal battles.
 
19) Be proud of yourself!
 
20) Taking pride, and being a self-absorbed tool bag are NOT the same. So relax, and talk about your accomplishments
a little. It’s OK! You might even inspire someone else!
 
21) Stop worrying about failure, and “what ifs.” Focus on what you WILL do instead. When you decide to do something,
you find a way to do it. When you worry about failing, you find a way to do IT too.
 
22) Taking care of YOU should be a PRIORITY. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means you have self-respect. Besides,
everyone knows you can’t be fully present for others when you’re not for yourself. Win-win.
 
23) Take out the trash. You’re not a dumpster, so get rid of the garbage in your life. (Whatever that garbage is- people,
food, habits…etc.)
 
24) Allow yourself to be human and have “bad days.” You’re not a superhero. Get over it.
 
25) When you DO have bad days, find a way to re-inspire yourself. Even if it’s just by making a list of things you’ve
learned in life and sharing it in on the internet
 
26)Patience!
 
27)Remove the Drama from your life!

Went to my pcp and got my physical and all is well, i see dr. hung on Wednesday and then surgery on the 1st. Since being on this website i have learned that one thing is for sure, we all are different and each doctor has his own set of rules....some of the things that are in here my doctor is against, acutally most of it is, when i tell him i was on here when i see him wednesday he will probably mess his pants, i have alot of ?'s (thanks to all of you!) and maybe we can sit and discuss these. I am not nervous, I am excited, I am willing to do this to my body to save my life and hopefully live with less pain. Onwards and upwards!

I'm truely all smiles this morning. I went in to have a fill on tuesday and i weighted in at 216. I weighed myself today for the March challenge and i was down to 213. This has made my day. So I started my day off with an egg white veggie omelete. If I had this to do all over again I surely would.

Who has two thumbs and is cleared to start adding in soft foods? THIS LADY!
 
I had my first appointment post op yesterday, pretty standard and quick. Had my incisions checked out and the steri-strips removed. I couldn't believe how much the little ones had already healed up. The big one over my port is a little rougher looking but healing a-ok as well. We talked about how I'd been feeling (10000% better!) and about other stuff (I'm living out my worst nightmare, having to regularly discus bathroom things with other people). Then I met with the dietitian and we talked about what I've been eating. Up to this point, I'd been doing a protein shake and a half- trying to work up to 2, and a can of soup split in half and eaten at morning and then night, and boatloads of water. Then she just casually slides in, "You might start adding in soft foods since you've been doing so well." UMMM WHAT MISS LADY, ESCOOOZE ME?! It was like someone told me they were buying me a new car, I was so excited lol. I've been on liquids for almost four weeks now and seriously was at the end of my rope.
 
Last night, I tried things out at dinner (so my band would be at is loosest). I made tuna salad with Greek yogurt and a little mayo and hit it with the emulsion blender a few times so it would be thinner. I also tried cottage cheese a little later. OH GOOD LORD. Eating is a whole different thing! It felt almost silly to chew 15 times on something that was barely solid, but I know it has to be done. I had a hard time waiting forever between bites and not drinking while eating. I ate about a cup and a half of food total, more than I intended to do, but its weird looking at such a small amount of food and feeling satisfied. Full (satiated) is a feeling that I'm so unfamiliar with that I don't entirely know that I could recognize it. I actually just stopped eating because I didn't want to chance it. Nothing got stuck, no tummy trouble last night. This morning was a different story. Its like my stomach didn't know how to feel. After an hour or so though I felt a lot better, so I'm guessing part of it was just morning tightness.
 
Yesterday was my first day back at work, where I'm on my feet all day. I have class today and long shifts all weekend so here's hoping I make it through haha. How are you guys doing?

Have you ever taken a bit of something and as you are chewing it you think “this is way too big of a bit” so you stuff half the bit in your cheek and swallow the other half? And a few seconds later you swallow the half in your cheek… How did that work out for you?
 
It has never worked out successfully for me. Usually within minutes I am at the sink or toilet watching the bits go down the drain… sorry if this is TMI.
 
I hate it when this happens and often it happens when I an overly hungry or the meal is really tasty. That makes it even worse because it ends the meal completely for me.
 
So, I have to remember to take small bits, even when it is really really good and chew them completely, otherwise my yellow rose will reject them and I will not enjoy my meal.
 
Lesson learned; I am not a squirrel!

Had my surgery this morning! No complications and I feel great! I ate a Sugar Free Cherry Popsicle to celebrate and it was DIVINE!
 
I also finally found a store-bought protein shake that I like! It's called EAS AdvantEDGE Choclate Fudge!
 
Keeping my optimism up! I am so fortunate and blessed to have very supportive friends and family.
 
Until next time!

Ok so I went and saw my surgen today for a fill. First I told him about everything that has been going on with the death in my family and me eating off. And to my surprise he told me he was proud of me, for taking responsibility for my actions. I also told him about all the lovely people I have been talking to on this forum and how yall have help me. On to the visit I get on the scale and to my surpised I'm down two more pounds. Can you say all smiles. You guys have truely help me a lot and I can't think you enough for the support. I was so happy when I left the office I went and did three miles at the gym. :wub:

So yesterday I was telling yall how I had fallen off the wagon and how depressed I had been for the pass couple of days, due to death in the family. I also was telling yall that I was getting back on the wagon starting today. Well I am happy to say I hit the gym and my personal trainer running this morning. And it felt great. I am learning so much about myself it's unreal. Since starting this I'm more active than I have been in a long time. And for once I'm putting me first. Things happen in life that will knock you down. The object is deciding what you going to do when you get up. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Reality has set back in. For the first seven days after my last adjustment (first one in 6 months) I was in paradise. Scale kept dropping close to a lb per day. Yay! Thanks, Santa, that's just what I always wanted! Then there was the aberration of a 1 lb gain that I knew had to be bs, so I ignored it, checked my food log, and chalked it down to sodium. Since it was almost all off the next day, that's still my story and I'm sticking to it. Today, the scale just stayed still, so I'm exerting a lot of energy reminding myself that as long as I AVERAGE 1-2 lbs per week down, it's all good. I'm good. Everything is fine.
 
Can y'all hear me chanting, "Ohhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm?"
 
I know I can't expect any weight loss to be smooth and perfect and steady downward every time I get near a scale (but, oh, wouldn't that be wonderful?), but it's tough to remember that when my inner toddler is whining, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes. It also doesn't help when my inner b***h can't stop pointing out that if I hadn't taken all those months off and regained, I wouldn't now be facing the extreme frustration of trying to lose 10 lbs I had already lost. She's so annoying sometimes. Still, I am what and who I am and where I am, and I can't change that by looking backward, only by moving forward.
 
Went shopping today to stock up on lean protein and make sure I had enough variety in the house to keep from getting bored and cranky, which makes me want to break rules. No rule breaking here, just good healthy food and lots of protein (good thing I love chicken).
 
I know I can do this, especially since I have another appointment coming up in 5 days with the promise of another fill if I need it (oh, I do, I do, I swear I do!). I can no question hold out until then. And after that fill, I will be able to hold out until the next one. If I weren't strong enough for that, I wouldn't have come back with my tail between my legs a week ago. I'm here, I can do this, and I'm too danged stubborn and cussed to give up now.
 
So there!

I had my 9 month post op yesterday (one week before my actual 9th month - 22nd). My doc was very happy. We determined I did not need a fill at this time and I am in the elusive sweet spot. However, she did tell me that as I contiue to lose I may need a tweak here and there.
 
I questioned the fact that I feel like my weight loss as almost come to a stop. I was at one point losing 7 lbs a month, from Dec. until now I have only lost 7. This makes me feel like I am failing. I was told that this is totally common. Almost every bander in the 1st year will hit a 3-4 month spell were the weight loss is almost at a stand still, but just keep doing what we are suppose to and the weight loss will start again.
 
The next bit of encouragement came when I told her I felt like I wasn't doing as well as other banders. I was told that at 9 months post op I have lost 50% of my excess body weight. Doctor consider patients successful if at 1 year they have lost 40% so I am above the curve and they consider me an exordiary success. This made me feel great.
 
Then the discussion turned to continue loss. I told her I was burning around 2100-2300 calories a day, according to my fitbit and walking around 7000-10000 steps a day. She said this was awesome. But, I needed to keep in mind that at this point my daily calorie deficit should only be 500 calories. If I was at a deficit of more than 500 the body would store.
 
I told her that in a couple weeks I was flying to Florida for a week Disney Vacay and I ask about flying effects on the band. I was told that a small percent of patient experience tightness when flying, but most of the time it is only mild and they can still get liquid down and it disapates within 12 hours. To my surprise she said while at Disney not to refuse to enjoy eating. To stick to my alloted amounts, but to enjoy. The fact that I will be burning a lot of calories walking around Disney, I will need the increased calorie intake. So enjoy within reason.
 
I totally love my medical team!! They continue to encourage me. The best thing she told me was that I was the type patient that makes her want to come to work each day. She has patient who refuse to do what they are told from the get go they will have to do and they aren't successful and blame the team. But, the fact that I am doing great and have taken the time to understand my band and body makes what she does worth it. This was a nice compliment.
 
I am so glad I went through with being banded and I am very thankful for the wonderful medical team I have. Biggest advice- Chose a medical team who you feel comfortable with and who is experienced with bands.

I was going to wait on making a blog entry until next month as April 16 is my one year mark of my surgery. Today I stepped on the scale and I was 321. I had a sudden realization of how thing have changed in just a short month and a half. I'll explain shortly.
 
Since I was banded in April of 2012 I always had this thought that weight would slide off seeing that I was so big and typically big people lose quicker. As time went on I realize that is not how it works and I begun to accept that. Even though I understood slow and gradual movements on the scale I never seemed quite pleased. Now before you scoff or judge me because yes I have lost a ton of weight in a short time it still didn't seem quite right. It seemed I would lose two pounds then the scale wouldn't budge sometimes for like 3 weeks. Sometimes even longer. I often times got really frustrated in the beginning but slowly I adjusted to it.
 
So going back to today. Today I weighed in at 321 and when I got my last fill on Jan 29 I was 341. I have lost 20lbs since my January appointment. My food intake changed drastically as did my attitude. Eating a cup of food is more of a chore then ever as of late. I thought before this latest fill I was in the green zone but as I crept closer to January not so much. Now since this last .5cc I am actually there and for the first time I am seeing the weight move like I originally expected. I am hoping it keeps up for a little while but I know the more I lose the slower it will become.
 
So take it from someone who is someday hoping to become an actual veteran bandster that the green zone can be very allusive but once you find it...WOW.
 
Missy (Mis73) told me time and time again that .5, yes a just half of cc can make a whole world of difference. She wasn't kidding!!
 
I hope the downward trend continues and I hope you're all losers....just like me.
 
Have a wonderful healthy day and weekend!
 
-Jim

If I could talk to the old me, I would say………..
 
 
Amanda you are beautiful, but beauty is more than appearance. You have a strong heart and a strong mind and that is what makes you beautiful. The reality of the situation is, you are Morbidly Obese and at 277 pounds you could have some real heath issues if you don’t make a change. I promise you that once you start exercising you will love it, I know I do. The amount of stress that is release during a run or power walk will relax your mind and strengthen your heart. All of the negative energy and emotions that you are holding on to will be sweated out and literally washed down the shower drain. You kids will be impressed and encouraged by your strength, discipline, and the positive changes they see you making every day. Oh, and they will love all the cooking your doing. Others will be inspired by your pictures and your story, and one day you will complete a 5k run and it will be the best feeling you have experienced other than the birth of your children. I know your confidence is lower (hell, its non-existent) but you will slowly build it back up when you see changes happening in your body. What I’m saying is “You will have to get smaller, to become bigger.” Look in the mirror everyday and say I’m strong, I’m a survivor, and I’m me. Love ya!
 
What would you say?

I don't know if I give this the right title. But today for lunch I made some spinach and salmon. I cut the salmon in half, and put everything in my bowel. And about half way through a light blub went off that said ok that's enough eating now stop. And without thinking I put my fork down, closed the lid on my food and put it up. Is that normal.

​I was out today driving with my husband and we were talking about food. He is a diabetic. He said he would love a bowl of hot fudge and said to me, I am sure you do too. I said no, don't want to even have a taste. I am clearing my head of all my old favorites. Like buying fresh made bread and eating a loaf before I even get home from the store. Or having wonderful bread in a restaurant and eating more than one basket full. Bread is my very best friend. I still do have it in restaurants but have totally changed how I eat it. One restaurant I only eat the end crusty parts of the bread not the doughy parts. I know, it is still bread but it takes me longer to eat and I need my friend.
Another friend of mine was my pint of ice cream almost every night and I added almonds and sometimes chocolate chips. I only have my SF Popsicles now.
I hate fast food places so that was never a problem. I do miss really great french fries but I now have a small amount of mashed potatoes instead. I really really want to be thinner. I don't know why this time is different than the other 100 diets/weight loss programs, but this time I am going to be healthier and thinner. I hope you all agree and let's do it!!!!!!!! together.
Have a wonderful evening everyone.

I've been down the last month or so because my weight didn't seem to be moving. I was following the doctors orders, doing what I was suppose to, but the scales were not moving. Then last week all of a sudden I came to realize geez my pants are falling down, my shirt feels bigger. The scales weren't moving, but the inches were. I purchase some summer shorts and capri's in 14's and 12's - holy cow, WOW!! A XL in the ladies section is to big, I need a large.
 
Yesterday the hubs and I went to the mall to finish getting what we needed to our Florida vacation in a few weeks. I tried on a new pair of flip flops and was standing in the mirror looking at them. It took a second for it to register I was looking at my leg- OMG- it's not huge. I look nice. I am sliming down all over. When heading to the store I was tell the hubs- last year at this time I was poured into my 20/22 capri's and wearing a 2XL shirt; yesterday I had on a pair of 14 shorts that are loose in the waist and a size large ladies t-shirt.
 
Wow- this has worked, I did it. I have lost weight. I feel good.
 
At the start of this journey I said I would be happy to get to a size 12/14, well I am here. But, now I am thinking a 8/10 would be nice. Me in an 8/10 WOW- what a thought. I never imagined that could happen and I could still eat good food.
 
I don't feel like I am being deprived or eating rabbit food. I eat the same things I have always loved, just less of it. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. The only thing I could totally go for that I really should avoid is a slice of Cheesecake Factory Red Velvet Cheesecake. Most likely I will get one for my anniversary (we got engaged there), but I will likely eat it over a few days vs at one time or share it with the hub.
 
So for anyone reading this just starting out or hasn't been banded yet, good news, you can loose weight and still eat good food. It's possible to have it all!!!
 
Today I am on top of the world!!

Okay ...
 
2 weeks in ... And it's been all me. The first week wasn't too bad ... But week two was a little harder. I really paid attention to my food ...and myfitnesspal is a good tool. I am trying to stay around 1500 calories, but noticed I'm not always getting in all my protein, so I need to pay a little more attention to that. On the upside, hula hooping is my quick workout while watching t.v. I do cheat and wear a neoprene waist band for extra sweating lol. I know some may think I should go lower than 1500 calories, but if I get my fitness on, I get to have more calories for the day. Also, I don't want to deprive myself, because if I do, I become a binge queen.
 
Plus for the week... Got my letter to get a fill...and down another lbs !!!
 
Log...fitness...and self love !!!! Who's with me ?