Terry Poperszky

15 years ago today, I proposed to my best friend and she said yes. 2 dozen roses just got delivered, now I need to think something really special for next month and the marriage anniversary.

I have thought about writing this blog all day long. Part of me says don’t write it, you are a success and you don’t want people thinking you slip up and fail. The other part of me says write this, maybe this will tell others that this journey is not easy and even after reaching goal & being declared a success you still struggle…
 
‘The other part’ won, so here goes….
 
I have always been called strong, never showing my weakness or emotions. It is a skill I learned early in life, build a protective barrier around you so no one can know how you feel or hurt you. The way I coped with this barrier was with food, it got me to 250 pounds….
When I started my weight loss journey I recognized this habit. That being said doesn’t mean that the habit went away or that it doesn’t get the best of me still.
Over the last couple of weeks I have experienced events in my life that caused me to retreat to my protected barrier and to comfort myself with junk food (ice cream, etc…).
 
Now, those closest to me know me well enough to see through the barrier and last night my husband did just that. He asked what was going on and I caved, I told him everything that was causing my stress, my work, my friends, and the whole lot. I had a good cry and we talked about how I could try and cope with things. I also confessed the eating that I had done and do you know what he did? He said, “Well trash is picked up tomorrow morning” and went into the kitchen, threw away all the trigger foods that I had mentioned. When he came back in he said to me, “You are worth so much more than any of that junk food. From now on there will be no junk in this house.” God, I love this man. I am so lucky to have such great family support.
 
Then, this morning one of my most dear friends asked me what was up. And again I caved and told her everything. Know what she said? “Done now….back on track” and then she said, “It is what it is; pull up those panties, put on those heels and work it!” Thanks princess, I needed to hear that. I am so lucky to have such great friends supporting me.
 
I know I can do this and I will do this for the rest of my life. I will have days and times where I stumble and fall. But, I will get myself up, brush myself off and keep going. Because I WANT this!
 
I guess what I am trying to say is that even the success stories (the veterans) make mistakes, have bad days, and go backwards. The important thing is to identify the problem and find a solution. Then get your ass back on track.
 
Thant is exactly what I am doing.

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule.
 
A couple of NSV's:
 
1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes.
2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule.
 
A couple of NSV's:
 
1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes.
2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule.
 
A couple of NSV's:
 
1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes.
2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule.
 
A couple of NSV's:
 
1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes.
2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

I am so sick of playing by the band rules; I just want to break one or two of them. Eat a big huge meal, take big bites, or wolf food down in ten minutes flat.
 
Wish I could have a break and not think about my food choices, my portion size, how I eat, my water intake, and exercise, ugh….
 
Calgon take me away!
 
Do you feel that way some days? I’m sure we all do. So how do we get past this?
 
There are some who have reached their goal and have been maintaining for years. They say they think like a thin person. They never think of food.
 
Will I ever be like that?
 
I reached my goal in December and have been maintaining since then.
 
Has it been easy? NO.
 
It has been the most difficult part of my journey so far. But, I won’t give up because I look in the mirror and I really like the person that looks back at me.
 
So, I will continue to play the game. I will make health food choices, take small bites (hubby calls them band-bites), drink water and exercise. I will do this for the rest of my life because I am worth it!

Try something else. I am tired of my scale plateau, so on Missy's recommendation I am going to try carb cycling for a week or so to try and break it. So Missy if it doesn't work, I am holding you personally responsible

Try something else. I am tired of my scale plateau, so on Missy's recommendation I am going to try carb cycling for a week or so to try and break it. So Missy if it doesn't work, I am holding you personally responsible

Try something else. I am tired of my scale plateau, so on Missy's recommendation I am going to try carb cycling for a week or so to try and break it. So Missy if it doesn't work, I am holding you personally responsible

A month ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and really had a hard time because I have been in so much pain. I needed comfort and what did I do? Go back to food to make me feel better. Every day I was not working I was going to Sonic and getting a reeces peanut butter blast. I tried to convince myself it was okay because I only got a small one but heck a small one is 600 calories. I just could not except the fact that over the last four months I have become so dibilitated that I cant even lift my arms over my head and work is killing me. My new medications help some but not as much as I thought. Until they find an answer, do research, find better medications those of us that have this will have to learn to live with it.
 
So now that the scale has went up ten pounds which is not totally aweful, its time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to my diet. My husband has been totally a doll for paying every week for me to get a massage and possible looking in to a cleaning lady because I just have trouble doing a whole lot. I am not letting this beat me. Im gonna rest as much as I can, look for a less stressful job, and do what I have to so that I wont aggravate my condition any worse then it is. No more using food to make me feel better, no more feeling sorry for myself because I have to live with it. I am better then that to let anything get me down. Although I was really enjoying those sonic blast lol I worked hard to get this weight off and I am not going to let this crap take me back to where I started. No way no how.
 
So now I am off my soap box and getting myself back where I need to be. This time of year the produce is so good so I am filling myself with fruit and veggies. I will not let this beat me. I can say the pain at times is aweful but with the help of my doctor I am hoping we can get that under control as well. For those that have it I surely feel your pain.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.

My initial loss with my band was amazing (and a little scary), but the joy of seeing pounds dropping off on a daily basis was truly fantastic. As I was looking at my weight this morning, I noticed that I had only lost 5 pounds during the month of April and was tempted toward the negative by comparing my loss with what I did when I was first banded.
 
Then I started to think about my bike ride on Sunday, 28 miles, 23 miles two days before, Both at speeds that it took me 5 months of work up to last year to be able to sustain for 15 miles.
I thought about my spin class and the progress I have made during it, where I had to stop and rest halfway through when I first started.
I thought about the fact that it is time to go shopping for clothes again because my pants are starting to bunch at the waist when I tighten my belt enough to hold them up.
I thought about the fact that I am down to one belt because I haven't punched holes in the other two.
I thought about the fact that the fat percentage on my scale hit a new low number this morning.
I thought about all the weight that I lost on WW, and how 5 pounds in a month would have been a cause for celebration.
 
Yup, the low hanging fruit of my band journey is all gone, but that's ok I burn more calories when I have to climb the branches to reach the higher fruit.
 
Father God, please help me to remain thankful for all that you have given me instead of focusing on what I don't have...

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.